


What A Wild Ride This Will Be

by Fuji09



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkward Boners, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak Are Best Friends, Bisexual Bill Denbrough, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Blow Jobs, Clubbing, Coming In Pants, Eating Disorders, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Emo Eddie Kaspbrak, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Sex, Gay Stanley Uris, Georgie Denbrough Lives, Good Parent Maggie Tozier, Good Parent Wentworth Tozier, Good Parents Maggie & Wentworth Tozier, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Henry Bowers Being an Asshole, Henry Bowers is His Own Warning, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Marijuana, Mike Hanlon is a Good Friend, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Night Terrors, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Patrick Hockstetter is His Own Warning, Protective Richie Tozier, Punk Richie Tozier, Recreational Drug Use, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Flirts, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:35:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 39
Words: 84,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuji09/pseuds/Fuji09
Summary: "Is Stan and Bill here?", he asked looking around. He saw no one else in the room but the person who opened the door and still standing at the door looking confused. Eddie looked at the guy and realized this guy was quite hot. He guessed this was Stan's roommate and he felt a blush creep up his neck. The guy was tall, crazy tall, like probably over six feet tall. His black curly hair framed his face nicely. He wore black hipster glasses, as Eddie likes to call them, and had a silver hoop nose ring and his ears were gauged! He wore ripped black skinny jeans with a few chains, a black band tee, and oddly a brightly colored blue Hawaiian shirt over his band tee. It didn't go together and looked a little weird. His smile, oh his smile made Eddie feel butterflies in his stomach."And you are?", he asked closing his room door and sat on his bed."I'm Eddie, your roommate Stan went for coffee with my roommate Bill like an hour ago and I came to find Bill.", he explained hoping it didn't sound weird. He stood in the middle of the room feeling awkward and willing his feet to walk him back out but he stayed right there under the stare of this beautiful guy.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Victor Criss
Comments: 275
Kudos: 317





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first reddie fic. Please let me know what y'all think.

A knock on the door brought Eddie back into the real world and out of the comic he was reading. He sat on his bed in the dorm room he shared with his best friend Bill. Bill had been writing, one of his classes had a paper due so he was hoping to finish it before the weekend officially started, it was Friday afternoon and they had the whole weekend to relax and have fun. Eddie looked over at Bill and realized he hadn't noticed the knock on the door so he stood up to see who it was. The only person who ever came over was their friend Mike and he never knocked, he always sent a text to let them know he had arrived.

Eddie was small, only about five foot four, and he was also very skinny. His black hoodie swallowed him up but he didn't mind and his black skinny jeans were a little loose because he had trouble finding clothes small enough for him. His dark brown hair he had straightened kept falling into his eyes but he liked his hair being longer than his mom tolerated and it wasn't like his hair went past his shoulders so it wasn't too long in his opinion.

He opened the door to find a tall curly haired boy holding a text book. He had never seen him before so he was confused as to why this nicely dressed guy was at his room. He knew every person Bill spoke to and this guy wasn't one of them. The stranger wore khakis and a sweater vest with a nice shirt underneath. He had a shy smile.

"Hi, um I found this book in the library and it has the name Bill Denbrough in it. I was told this is his room. Are you Bill?', the well dressed guy asked. Eddie giggled and shook his head.

"No, I'm his roommate Eddie", he said as he heard Bill get up and walk over to the door.

Bill was attractive, he was taller than Eddie and thin as well but in a more athletic way. He was strong and played sports throughout his life. His short brown hair threatened to fall in his eyes but he shoved it back in place. Eddie noticed a tint of pink in his roommate's cheeks which made him smirk.

"Hi, I'm Bill, Th-thank you. I was w-wondering w-where I left th-this", he said as he held his hand out for his book. His stutter wasn't as prominent as when he was younger but it was still there, especially when he was nervous. The book was placed in his hand and he pulled it to his chest and smiled nervously at the guy who was nice enough to bring him his book. Bill found the guy very cute and Eddie could tell. He tried to think of a way to help his best friend out.

"No problem, my room is literally five doors down on the left so it wasn't a far walk. I'm Stan by the way. It's nice to meet you both", he said in almost a formal way. He was nervous as well, he couldn't believe his luck, returning a book to a really cute guy! Of course Stan was also a bit awkward so he didn't think anything would come of it. He looked Bill up and down and noticed how even in just jeans and a plain white t-shirt, this guy still looked really attractive.

Eddie noticed how Stan looked at Bill so he decided to help them out.

"Bill, you should get the guy coffee as a thank you", his voice casual, like he wasn't trying to set them up. Of course Bill knew exactly what his roommate was doing which caused that pink tint in his cheeks to become more noticeable. The shy smile Bill gave Stan made Stan's heart skip a beat and he nodded his head agreeing that he would very much like that. So that's how Eddie helped his best friend get a date, well sort of, he knew Bill would say it wasn't.

Eddie was left alone and so he got on his laptop to check to see if his his test scores were posted. He had been worried about this one test because he struggled in class. Math of any form was not his best subject and each year it only got harder. His face going pale as he looked at the screen, he had failed the test. A big fat ugly 53 stared him down. He felt so distressed. He couldn't fail this class, or any class for that matter. He needed to keep his grades up to keep getting financial aid.

"Fuck", he muttered to himself. Well that was it. His day was ruined. He grabbed the bottle of Fireball whiskey he kept under his bed and started to sip on it. He felt the hot liquid hit his throat and felt it all the way down to his stomach. The burn wasn't too bad, he liked how warm and fuzzy the drink would make him.

After about an hour of sipping on whiskey, Eddie was feeling it. He probably drank more than he should have but damn it he sure felt better. At least he thought so but he suddenly he realized he wanted Bill. He needed Bill to wrap his arm around his shoulder and tell him that everything would be fine. Bill wasn't back yet and the place they got coffee from wasn't far so maybe he went back to Stan's room. That sounded logical to his fuzzy brain and he remembered the guy had said his room was five doors down.

Eddie found the fifth door down on the left and he knocked. He heard music so someone was in there. He fidgeted with his sleeve and waited. He felt a little silly but he needed Bill. He didn't even think to text him, his drunk mind not exactly helping him. He heard footsteps head towards the door and when the door opened Eddie just walked right it.

"Is Stan and Bill here?", he asked looking around. He saw no one else in the room but the person who opened the door and still standing at the door looking confused. Eddie looked at the guy and realized this guy was quite hot. He guessed this was Stan's roommate and he felt a blush creep up his neck. The guy was tall, crazy tall, like probably over six feet tall. His black curly hair framed his face nicely. He wore black hipster glasses, as Eddie likes to call them, and had a silver hoop nose ring and his ears were gauged! He wore ripped black skinny jeans with a few chains, a black band tee, and oddly a brightly colored blue Hawaiian shirt over his band tee. It didn't go together and looked a little weird. His smile, oh his smile made Eddie feel butterflies in his stomach.

"And you are?", he asked closing his room door and sat on his bed. His side of the room was messy and looked the complete opposite to Stan's side which was clean and the bed was made and looked so orderly. This guy had papers everywhere, clothes on the bed and floor and empty bottles of beer and water.

Eddie shook his head trying to clear it. He realized he just barged into someone's room and he felt slightly embarrassed.

"I'm Eddie, your roommate Stan went for coffee with my roommate Bill like an hour ago and I came to find Bill.", he explained hoping it didn't sound weird. He stood in the middle of the room feeling awkward and willing his feet to walk him back out but he stayed right there under the stare of this beautiful guy.

"Well Eds I'm Richie. You're welcome to wait here for them, I could text Stan and ask if they could head over here if you want", his voice low and a devilish smirk on his lips. His eyes sparkled as he looked this guy up and down. It should be illegal to be this cute and small. He noticed Eddie wore eyeliner and he had to will his blood flow to not head south.

"Don't call me that, and no, I don't want to bother them, they seemed pretty into each other. I'll just wait.", he said and finally sat down at the foot of Richie's bed. He smiled a weak smile and turned to face Richie. "Sorry I barged in, I've kinda been drinking", he said sheepishly. Richie laughed and it sounded so cute to Eddie.

"No worries, it was a pleasant surprise. Want to watch something? I was watching reruns of this cartoon I like", Richie suggested as he grabbed his laptop. Eddie nodded because why not? This guy seemed nice enough. So Richie sat with his back to the wall with his laptop in his lap and Eddie scooted back till his back hit the wall and his shoulders almost touching Richie's. They stayed there for hours until they both dozed off. Eddie's head was on Richie's shoulder and Richie had a giant pillow on his other side holding him up. His head fell onto Eddie's softly and they slept there for a few hours.

Stan and Bill walked inside Stan's room and to their amusement found both of their roommates sound asleep leaning on the other with the cartoon still playing. They snickered and wondered how the hell that happened so they decided to sit on Stan's bed and began reading a comic book together, waiting for their friends to wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. There is self harm in this chapter and mention of a past suicide attempt.

**Chapter 2**

It was a few hours and several comic books read by Bill and Stan later that Richie started to wake. He was a bit confused as to why someone was laying on him but he smiled as he remembered the interesting interaction he had with this adorable boy.

"So, how did this happen?" Stan asked his roommate. He had a smirk on his face and Bill was trying to stifle a giggle. It honestly was a cute sight. Eddie in his sleep had wrapped his arm around Richie's waist. Richie wasn't sure if he should wake him or let him sleep, he had been pretty drunk.

"Well, this little guy had some drinks apparently and he came looking for Bill. He seemed upset so I offered for him to wait here and we watched some tv and I guess we fell asleep", Richie explained.

Bill shook his head amused and Stan just stared at Richie. He knew his roommate and also best friend totally had a type, and his type was literally holding him in his sleep. Bill decided to get up from Stan's bed and walked over to Eddie. He gently put his hand on Eddie's shoulder and shook him. "Hey, Eddie, w-wake up. I'm here", he said in a soothing voice.

Eddie opened his eyes and was processing where he was and who was that he was on? He looked over at the good looking guy that Eddie had his arm around. He quickly jumped up, blushing, and started to freak out. "No, no, no! Not ok!", he said frantically. He was shaking and Bill tried to calm him down. Richie and Stan watched in confusion.

"Eddie, its ok, you're fine. You didn't do anything w-wrong", Bill said softly. Eddie wasn't listening, he felt so scared. He bolted out the door and ran to his room with tears streaming down his face. How could he? He was cuddling a guy! His mom would kill him if she found out, or worse. He slammed his room door and locked it and then looked around for his contraband that Bill did weekly sweeps for but he hadn't found this hiding spot yet. Eddie opened his desk drawer and pried open the back wall of the drawer he had messed with to create a small hiding spot. There they were, still hidden and he grabbed one and quickly put the drawer back wall back to how it was and he closed the drawer.

He heard knocking and Bill yelling for Eddie to unlock the door and let him in but Eddie ignored him.

Bill had run after Eddie and Richie and Stan followed behind. Bill tried to open the door but it was locked. He banged on the door. "Eddie! Open up! Come on! I'm getting w-worried! Eddie!", he yelled but to no avail. Eddie was ignoring him and it was starting to scare Bill.

"Hold on", Richie said and he ran back to his room but quickly returned with something. He got on his knees in front of the door and started to do something to the lock. Stan explained Richie was picking the lock, he didn't condone that but it came in handy when they locked themselves out of their room but he made Richie promise to never pick locks for anything bad. After a minute of waiting they heard a click and Richie stood up. Bill walked over to the door and opened it and gasped as he saw Eddie.

Eddie was sitting on his bed cross legged and his hoodie was off. A razor in one hand and blood dripping from his arm. Bill ran and yanked the razor out of Eddie's hand, "What th-the fuck! I just checked for th-these! Eddie w-why?!" Bill cried out. He stuck the razor in his pocket to dispose of later where Eddie wouldn't find it. Eddie was softly crying but didn't say a word. Bill sat on his bed and took his arm to look at it. It looked to be a deeper cut, his arms were covered with scars, so Bill got up to grab the first aid kit they had and started to treat the cut. He cleaned it and then wrapped it with gauze and medical tape as tight as he could to stop the bleeding. Eddie just sat there staring at the wall and didn't even wince when the wound was cleaned.

Richie and Stan stood in the doorway horrified. They had no clue what was going on. Richie saw the scars on Eddie's arms and he felt pain. Why did Eddie do that? Then he noticed the worst scar. it didn't go across his arm like the rest, it started at his wrist and went down halfway his arm. Richie knew what that one was. He felt a chill and looked away.

Bill grabbed a water bottle and took out a bottle of pills from Eddie's desk drawer and gave it to Eddie to take. Eddie swallowed it with the water then laid down facing the wall. Bill covered him with a blanket and walked to the other guys who just silently watched the whole thing. They moved into the hall and Bill closed the door. They silently walked back to Richie and Stan's room and sat on the floor. No one knew what to say but Bill finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry y'all had to see th-that. Eddie, he uh, w-well he had a very rough life. He w-was depressed and th-there was also anxiety and growing up he w-wasn't the most masculine guy so he w-was bullied and called horrible slurs. His mom found out and instead of talking to Eddie or trying to help, she sent him to conversion th-therapy camp. He w-was tortured and abused. He started cutting w-while he w-was there, pain he could control and forget for a w-while about the pain th-that was being inflicted on him by th-those disgusting people. Th-they didn't even care he w-was cutting! One night after a really bad session he decided to end it. He cut his arm deep and as far down as he could before th-they found him. Th-they sent him to the hospital and th-they w-were able to save him but he w-was put on suicide w-watch and in the mental hospital for a w-while. He hates mental hospitals even th-though th-they helped him. He sees a th-therapist every w-week and it does help some. W-we w-went off to college together to get away from his mom and other triggers and th-the self harm had been a lot less. He still th-thinks he's dirty and bad for being attracted to guys. He hates himself for it. I guess w-waking up and cuddling Richie triggered him and he had been doing so w-well I thought it w-was ok. He cuddles me sometimes although he never felt dirty about th-that, I guess since w-we are like brothers. I'm so sorry th-this happened and I'll understand if you never w-want to see us again.", Bill took a deep breath when he finished talking and looked at the two guys staring at him and processing the information.

Richie teared up and Stan frowned. They both felt bad for Eddie and wanted to help too. They could totally help Bill out on helping Eddie come to terms with himself and be good friends to him.

"We are here for both of you. Anything we can do to help we will", Stan said. Richie nodded in agreement. Bill smiled and relaxed.

"Th-thank you. You don't know how much th-that means to me. Eddie w-will be out for a while. Th-that pill I gave him knocks him out. Its supposed to help stop attacks w-when th-they are happening. I gotta find his new hiding spot. I do w-weekly checks for razors but th-there must be a place I haven't found", Bill explained.

The three boys stood up and walked back to Bill and Eddie's room. They all searched for Eddie's hiding spot. It wasn't until half an hour later Richie opened the desk drawer and looked inside. Something was off about it. He felt around and realized the back of the drawer wall was messed up. He pulled at it and there he found a pack of razors. He picked them up and held them out for the other two boys to see. "Got them", he said.

Bill grabbed them and put the one in his pocket in with the rest. He would dispose of them later, he was just happy that they were finally found. "Th-thank you", he whispered. Richie nodded and then looked over at Eddie. he was still facing the wall and out cold. Richie sat on his bed and ran his fingers through Eddie's hair. He wished this sweet guy wasn't in so much pain. He wanted to help him. He wanted to make him happy.

Bill and Stan walked out to go dispose of the razors and Richie stayed with Eddie playing with his hair and softly singing to Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like this chapter. If y'all haven't noticed in my writing I only have Bill stutter with W's and TH's. Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie was trapped in his nightmares. They were always the same thing. He was back in that awful conversion therapy camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning. This chapter goes into detail with what Eddie endured in conversion therapy. Shock therapy, forced throwing up, rape, sexual assault, cutting, and a suicide attempt. Please do Not read if these are triggers for you. I promise skipping this chapter won't mess up the rest of this fic. Read with caution.

**Chapter 3**

Eddie was trapped in his nightmares. They were always the same thing. He was back in that awful conversion therapy camp. Being strapped to a chair and forced to watch gay porn and if his body reacted then he was shocked. He had scars from the burn marks from those shocks. They would show him explicit photos of men and once again if his body reacted, even when he would beg his body not to, they would shock him again. This happened to him every single day.

Once a week one of the camp men would bend him over a table, strap his arms down, and force himself into Eddie. Another man would stand at Eddie's head sometimes telling bible verses, sometimes yelling slurs and telling him he would burn in Hell, and sometimes the man would just laugh at the tears that Eddie would cry. The pain from the assault was unbearable. It hurt more the times they used objects to rape him. Sometimes he would throw up, sometimes he passed out, but every time afterwards he would be put back in his small cement floor cell bleeding from the assault. It was freezing in there so him shivering only made the pain worse. The so called beds that were actually cots were so thin the cold from the cement floor seeped right through. Thin sheets were all they got which gave no warmth and a pillow so flat it didn't do much for support. He would lay in his own blood for a day before he was finally allowed to shower and clean up the next day.

Showers were embarrassing because one of the camp people would wash their hair and scrub every inch of them until their skin was raw and red, almost as if they were trying to scrub the gay away. The water was either too hot or too cold and usually made him feel even more dirty. After drying off with scratchy towels and putting his clothes back on, back into his cell he would go with wet hair and would feel even more cold. The other boys there never looked at each other or spoke a word. They were too afraid and it was a rule to never speak to the other "sinners".

Eddie would pray to whoever or whatever would listen to him and beg for forgiveness and to be let out of this Hell. When he started cutting, the camp people actually saw it as a good sign. The head "therapist" who met with Eddie daily encouraged it. He considered it Eddie letting out his demons and bleeding out any possible gay feeling. So Eddie continued to cut, sometimes too deep and he would end up getting stitches.

Closer to the end of his stay they started to make him sick instead of shock therapy. They would show him the gay porn and then force him to throw up. This ended up causing Eddie to develop an eating disorder because he would be too afraid to eat in fear of being forced to throw it all up. It hurt less if he didn't have anything on his stomach. It also made the hunger pains stop from losing the food he would eat. He grew thinner and thinner and he felt like he was wasting away. He couldn't live like this anymore. He wanted to die. This was not living, this was not a life. After everyone went to sleep he cut his wrist and went halfway down his arm before he felt too weak to continue. He laid down and felt himself get cold and he almost felt happy, he would soon be free from this torture. He smiled and closed his eyes, he passed out and didn't hear what happened next.

One of the boys near him noticed the smell of metal, it was much more harsh than normal and he looked around and saw it, the pool of blood around another boy's arm. The boy screamed and yelled for help. The camp people ran in and found Eddie bleeding out. What could they do? They couldn't keep him alive but if they took him to a hospital then they would be found out. The boy who cried for help begged them to save the dying boy. The head "therapist" called for an ambulance and that was how that evil place was shut down. Every boy was helped by CPS and either sent home to parents who didn't know the horrors and took their children back with promises of acceptance and the rest went into foster care. Everyone who worked at the camp was sent to prison.

Eddie awoke in a hospital room. It was bright white and clean and even smelled of cleaning products. He must be in Heaven. He looked around and saw flowers and his best friend Bill sitting on a chair asleep. He looked like he hadn't showered in days.

"Bill...", Eddie croaked out. Bill shot up and was at Eddie's side.

"Eddie! You're ok! I'm so sorry! If I had known I w-would have saved you, I promise!", Bill blubbered out and he began to cry softly. Eddie took Bill's hand and held it. Looking up at his best friend he smiled, he felt safe at last. Bill was there and he would always protect him.

It took a while for Eddie to tell Bill everything that happened. He felt ashamed and it was hard to even speak out loud the horrors he went through. Bill cried and held Eddie, comforting him and stroking his hair. The doctors checked in on Eddie a lot, he was on suicide watch and then transferred to a mental hospital after his wounds were healed. He was terrified of not having Bill there but his best friend came to visit every day that they would allow. Eddie went to group therapy and took the medication they gave him for a month before they felt he was ready to become an out patient.

Once released he went to live with Bill, he refused to ever go back to his mother who sent him to that evil place. Bill's family made sure Sonia never had contact with her son ever again and they even helped Eddie get emancipated. Bill helped Eddie with his self harm and eating disorder. Eddie had relapses and still wasn't eating much but he put on a few pounds so that was something. Anything sharp was locked away but Eddie still found razors and Bill would have to take them away and do weekly sweeps of Eddie's things.

They both applied to the same colleges and when they both got accepted to one close by they began their next step in life. Getting a dorm room together, Bill's parents made sure of that and paid for both boys to go to college. Eddie got his GED, he didn't want to even try to go back to high school and in his GED class is where he met Mike. They became fast friends and pretty soon Mike was best friends with Eddie and Bill. Mike also got accepted to the same college so they were able to all be together.

Eddie's life was getting better but he still had a long way to go. He saw a real therapist weekly and Bill and Mike were always there for him. Bill was like a brother and always protected him, Mike was a friend who could never get mad at you and always there for you and listened to anything.

Eddie wished his nightmares included all the good that happened after he escaped his Hell, but unfortunately he was always trapped in the worst moments of his life, over and over again causing him to shake and cry in his sleep. Richie noticed this and freaked out. He had no idea what to do. He grabbed his phone and called Stan. It rang twice then Stan answered.

"Everything ok?", he asked slightly worried.

"Need Bill!" Richie yelled. He heard the phone shuffled to Bill and before Bill could say a word Richie explained what was going on.

"He's having nightmares of conversion th-therapy. Don't w-wake him because th-that causes him to have a panic attack. I always lay next to him and pull him to me so his back is touching my chest and I hold him tight and breath slowly to help his body try to mirror my breathing. It usually works so if you don't mind trying... if not I'll run over th-there", Bill explained.

"No, no, its ok, I'll do it. Thanks!", Richie said and hung up. He crawled into Eddie's bed under the covers and pulled the smaller boy to him. He wrapped his arms around Eddie and held him tight and worked on controlling his breathing to help Eddie's body get into the rhythm. He felt slightly awkward spooning a guy he barely knew but it seemed to be helping. The shaking was calming down some and he thinks the tears have stopped falling so he just held him tight and made sure he made this poor guy feel safe in his sleep. Richie cared about Eddie. He wasn't sure why but he knew he had to protect this small broken boy and help him heal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a heavy chapter but I wanted Eddie's story to be known. A lot of what happened in this is what I listened to from someone who was in a conversion therapy camp. It was sickening the things he went through and I hope no one ever has to go through this ever again. I want his story and the stories of everyone who has endured this to be heard and known so these evil places can be shut down for good. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for the hard content. Next chapter won't be this heavy.  
> Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Bill and Eddie's room all that could be heard was a soft snore from Eddie. Richie still holding him, afraid the nightmares would come back if he let go, and he was singing to him again softly. He stopped when he heard the door unlock and then open. He slowly let go of Eddie, he really didn't want to, and pulled away and got up from the bed, making sure to put the blanket back on Eddie. He stood up and looked at the other two boys, bouncing back and forth from the balls of his heels to his toes. He felt awkward and put his hands in his jean pockets. Bill and Stan looked at him then over at Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much lighter chapter. Let me know what y'all think. I finally got to have Mike enter the story, almost all the losers, just 2 more to go!

**Chapter 4**

Bill and Stan had gone to the dumpster behind their dorm building and dumped the razors in there. They came in a small plastic case so they weren't exposed so there was no risk of an injury.

"So why is it better to not wake Eddie from his nightmares? I know you said he has a panic attack but wouldn't going through the dream be worse?" Stan asked breaking the silence.

Bill shook his head. "He doesn't remember th-them after he w-wakes up. Night terrors is actually w-what it is and his th-therapist said not to w-wake him and told me to help calm him in his sleep and gave me a few th-things to try and it seems to w-work", Bill explained as they started heading back.

It was chilly outside but it still felt nice to be out in the fresh air. There was a slight breeze and Stan thought the wind blowing through Bill's hair causing it to constantly fall over his eyes was cute. Bill would try to brush his hair back out of the way but the wind would just put it right back. He knew he needed a haircut but didn't have the time to get one lately with homework or something getting in the way. He saw an amused look on Stan's face and blushed slightly and looked away.

"So... how about w-we stop by th-the cafe and grab something for Eddie w-when he w-wakes up and for Richie too? "Bill suggested. Stan nodded and they both headed the way to the cafe.

The college cafe was more than a coffee shop, it had actual food but was still smaller than a cafeteria, which they also had at the school, but Bill and Eddie always preferred the cafe food. The atmosphere was a lot more casual and quiet and their friend Mike worked there and he always gave his best friends a discount. Mike was a little shorter than Bill and his dark skin was quite the contrast to Bill's pale skin tone. Mike was athletic and you could tell his had definition through his t-shirt. His smile made many girls swoon and even a few guys would blush. His bright white teeth were perfect and his dark brown eyes were like melted chocolate. He was popular but he still preferred the company of Bill and Eddie.

Stepping inside Bill immediately waved at Mike who smiled when he saw Bill and waved back. Stan looked at the menu trying to decide what to get for Richie. Maybe an energy drink but he also needs food.

"Hey Bill! What's up? And who is this?" Mike asked gesturing towards Stan as he gave Bill a knowing look. Bill rubbed the back of his neck and that damn blush came back which of course made Mike laugh, especially when he noticed Stan was oblivious to it as he searched the menu.

"His name is Stan, he lives a few rooms down. W-we w-were coming to get Eddie and Stan's roommate, Richie, some food. Eddie had a panic attack and now another night terror so he is going to be hungry w-when he w-wakes up." Bill explained and Mike frowned.

"I'll get his usual comfort food for him. I'll even make him his favorite drink on the house", Mike said then got to work as Bill thanked him.

After their "famous" macaroni and cheese was fixed up nice and fresh, and of course the way too sweet fruity slush that Eddie absolutely loved was made, Bill paid and then Stan ordered after Bill introduced them to each other.

"Its nice to meet you Mike. Um, could I get a white _Red Bull_ and the Turkey sandwich with BBQ chips?", he asked politely.

Mike smiled at him and nodded. He gave Stan a discount and after the meal was paid for, Mike got it ready then handed it all in a bag to Stan.

"Thanks for coming by and hope they enjoy the food. Let me know How Eddie is please", Mike said as Bill and Stan started to head back to the dorms.

"I w-will!", Bill replied.

Back in Bill and Eddie's room all that could be heard was a soft snore from Eddie. Richie still holding him, afraid the nightmares would come back if he let go, and he was singing to him again softly. He stopped when he heard the door unlock and then open. He slowly let go of Eddie, he really didn't want to, and pulled away and got up from the bed, making sure to put the blanket back on Eddie. He stood up and looked at the other two boys, bouncing back and forth from the balls of his heels to his toes. He felt awkward and put his hands in his jean pockets. Bill and Stan looked at him then over at Eddie.

"Th-thank you Richie. He'll be fine. W-we brought both of you food", Bill said as Stan handed him the bag with his meal inside.

Richie gratefully took it with a small thank you and started to eat and once he finished, he downed the entire _Red Bull_ at once.

"Thanks Stan the man", he smiled a very dorky smile with made the corner of Stan's mouth twitch. He simply nodded his head.

About twenty minutes later, Eddie woke up. He was dazed and looked around trying to remember all that happened. It came flooding back at once and he took a deep breathe.

"Look w-who's up! I got you some food", Bill said and got off his bed where Stan and Richie also were, reading comics, and he gave Eddie the food after he sat up in his bed.

"Thanks Bill. I'm sorry", he said softly then started to eat. He smiled when he took a sip of his drink, he needed to remember to thank Mike next time he saw him.

Once Eddie was done eating he got out of bed and stretched then sat back down facing Bill's bed. Bill began to explain that Eddie had a night terror and Richie had helped him through it, Eddie blushed and looked at Richie through his eyelashes, then Bill noted that he needed to be sure to write it down so he could let his therapist know. Eddie nodded and grabbed a notebook on his bedside table and began to write.

Richie noticed how red Eddie got and hoped he wasn't angry but seeing Eddie trying to discreetly look at him made his chest feel light and he knew it wasn't anger that caused the boy to to blush. Richie was fucked. His heart was tugging hard for this guy he only met hours ago. He knew he was fucked. He couldn't exactly pursue anything with all that Eddie had been through and he was healing. He knew that wouldn't be fair to Eddie and also probably cause him to get worse, but still, his heart ached to be holding Eddie again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this almost has a filler vibe to it but I hope maybe its just me being paranoid. Anyway, thank you for reading and please comment and let me know if you're enjoying it or have any questions. ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been three days since Eddie had his panic attack. Three days since he had a night terror. Three days since he was troubled by thoughts he had about Richie. Three long days of thinking about Richie and psyching himself up to tell his therapist everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Eddie seeing his therapist. Trigger warning, they speak a little on Eddie's eating disorder and his self harm.

**Chapter 5**

It had been three days since Eddie had his panic attack. Three days since he had a night terror. Three days since he was troubled by thoughts he had about Richie. Three long days of thinking about Richie and psyching himself up to tell his therapist everything. He logically knew that being gay wasn't wrong, but unfortunately his feelings were still needing to catch up.

His therapist, Jerome, had been such a huge help when he first started going to see him. Jerome was kind, he wore hipster glasses, and had platinum blonde hair. His bright blue eyes always sparkled and his porcelain skin was flawless as always. Today Eddie would go see him and tell him everything. He knew he had been making progress but he still felt like he wasn't progressing enough. Bill always took him to his sessions and waited in the waiting room, usually flirting with the cute receptionist but today he pretty much ignored her much to the girl's annoyance. Eddie tried to not giggle as he noticed the receptionist acting pissy. The girl was attractive, her name was Lily and she had dyed blonde hair and green eyes. She was slim but very tall and always wore a dress or skirt. She was always sweet to Eddie, the first time they came she had given him a chocolate bar because she insisted chocolate helps anyone feel just a little happier. She always flirted with Bill so when he barely looked at her today she didn't know what happened.

"I'm ready for you Eddie", Jerome poked his head out of his office and motioned for Eddie. Eddie stood up and looked at Bill who gave him a "you got this" look and after walking into Jerome's office, Eddie sat down on the couch and wrapped one of the many blankets around him as he always did and sat with his legs crossed.

Jerome's office was cozy. He had warm lighting and an essential oil infuser for aromatherapy. He had a white noise machine that was always playing ocean waves softly. He had a large bookshelf with many many books and had several comfy chairs for his patients to sit on. Eddie always picked the couch, it was his favorite. The office was always the perfect temperature, never too hot and never too cold. No one knew how he did it, Eddie thought he was a wizard at times. 

"So, How are you today Eddie?' Jerome asked.

Eddie took a deep breath and started talking a mile a minute, Jerome grew accustomed to it and could understand Eddie a lot better than when they first started and he typed out notes on his tablet as Eddie spoke.

"Now Eddie, I am missing an important detail here, what triggered this panic attack?" Jerome asked in a kind voice.

Eddie fidgeted with a strand of thread coming out of the blanket and blushed. He refused to look Jerome in the eye and he really had hoped if he spoke fast enough Jerome wouldn't notice but of course as always, he noticed and asked about whatever it was Eddie purposefully left out. Eddie groaned as he snuck a peak at Jerome and saw the man waiting patiently for him to open up.

"Uh... well... I... had bad thoughts", he stated even though he knew Jerome would dig.

"Eddie, what is it that you are afraid to tell me", he asked his patient.

Eddie squirmed and wished an asteroid would hit the office and end the session. He knew he was being slightly dramatic but he couldn't help it.

"I met a guy, a really cute guy..." he trailed off and told his therapist everything about Richie. How he looked, how he made Eddie feel, the thoughts Eddie had of him, how he held Eddie during his night terror, and as he said "I like him", Eddie started to cry softly. He felt ashamed but knew he shouldn't.

Jerome grabbed the box of tissues on the coffee table and handed them to Eddie. Eddie wiped his tears away, trying to stop the tears, he only had an hour once a week and he didn't want to waste it crying.

"You know there is nothing wrong with liking this guy, you know having sexual attraction to him isn't wrong either. Eddie, its perfectly fine that you are interested in him. He sounds a bit goofy from what you have told me but he also sounds extremely kind. I think this could be good for you. This is the first time you have allowed yourself to have romantic feelings for someone since conversion camp. I'm proud of you. Don't be ashamed of these feelings. Go with them. Take it slow and please don't rush into anything sexual, in fact I highly recommend staying away from that for a while, until you don't feel ashamed for even finding this Richie cute", Jerome explained to Eddie, He refused to call conversion camp "conversion therapy" because he knew damn well that was not therapy in the slightest.

Eddie nodded and took a couple deep breaths. "I don't know, isn't it too soon, its only been a few years? I freaked out over waking up and I was leaning on him because I thought he was cute and it made me think of less innocent things, are you sure this could help?" Eddie questioned.

Jerome loved that Eddie usually questioned anything he suggested to him. "Now I will never say a relationship will fix anything, please don't think that's what I mean. I'm just saying allowing yourself to explore these feelings and allow them to flourish wouldn't be bad. I'll be here to help you as well and I know Bill will be there for you too. Why not try being friends with Richie, hang out and stuff, be a friend who has a simple little crush and go from there".

Eddie thought on his words. It didn't sound like a bad idea, it was scary of course, after all, he was sure Richie wasn't into him in that way but getting used to having a crush would be good. "I'll do it", Eddie said with a smile.

After that Jerome checked on his eating habits as he always did. Eddie did well eating macaroni and cheese the day of the panic attack but later that day he tried to throw it up. Thankfully Bill found him and caught him just in time and assured him it was safe to keep the food down. He didn't need to beat anyone to the punch of making him throw up. Jerome seemed understanding although he was not happy when he finally took a look at the mark Eddie made three days ago.

"Eddie, that is deep. You're lucky you didn't need stitches. I want you to call me if you feel like doing this. If Bill isn't around call me. If I don't answer, text me and I will call you back. I don't want to have to recommend in patient again.", he said firmly. Eddie nodded, he couldn't go back to in patient. He would miss school and not have Bill around and he hated that.

Bill took Eddie back to their dorm after the session was over and Eddie told him everything that they spoke about. Bill hummed now and then to let Eddie know he was still listening. He smiled when Eddie said out loud that he liked Richie.

"Go for it Eddie, he's hot and he obviously cares about you. He held you th-through a night terror after only knowing you for a few hours. Th-that's a good person right th-there. "Bill said as they reached their door. Eddie's face was bright red and he tried to hide it but Bill knew, Bill always knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I named the therapist after the famous Jerome from Tumblr. I couldn't resist. I just loved those posts. Hope y'all enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie opened the door and saw Richie, standing there looking almost shy and wearing a nervous smile.
> 
> "Uh hey there Eds, could I uh, could I maybe crash here tonight? I kinda got kicked out of my room", he explained sounding way more anxious than he intended.
> 
> Eddie smirked. "What did you do?" he asked.
> 
> Richie of course grinned and fidgeted a little. "I may have told Stan to just fucking kiss Bill already because the sexual tension was starting to get me off", Richie chuckled at his own joke and Eddie did not look amused. He shook his head.
> 
> "Of course you did, sure come on in, and don't call me Eds", he scolded but there was no bite in his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to get some fluff going so here it is.

**Chapter 6**

That night Bill was sitting in bed texting Stan, something he did a lot of throughout the day, and Eddie was doing some homework while playing some music on his laptop. He never played it too loud, just enough so there was background noise. He liked pop rock and his guilty pleasure was The Jonas Brothers. He thought Joe was cute, he did have great hair. Right now he had Kesha playing and he would hum along or if Bill was up for it, sing along wholeheartedly as loud as possible and dance until their dorm neighbor banged on the wall. This happened maybe once a week.

Tonight as Kesha played in the background, he would hear Bill giggle every now and then, it was a cute sound, and he would smirk at his roommate which of course made Bill blush.

"You're so obvious", Eddie teased.

Bill threw a small pillow at Eddie which hit him smack in the head and they both laughed. This was usually a nightly thing. Both had several small pillows on their beds and they were constantly tossed at each other. When Bill's phone went off again he looked at the screen and then groaned. Eddie looked at him concerned, Bill never made any kind of disappointed sounds when texting Stan. In fact, sometimes he made some groans that were quite the opposite of disappointed which always made Eddie blush furiously. He would pretend he didn't hear it but Bill knew, he honestly tried to keep those sounds from coming out when Eddie was around but Eddie was usually around and sometimes Stan caught him off guard.

"What's wrong?" Eddie asked hoping it was nothing too bad.

"Stan asked me to stay over tonight." Bill told him and flung himself on his back and tossed his phone away. Now Eddie was quite confused because Bill obviously liked Stan and Stan obviously liked Bill. This wasn't rocket science and yet Bill was being very confusing. Where was the problem? That was usually a good thing to be invited over, especially to stay the night.

"Um, I don't understand. That's a good thing... I thought you were into him", Eddie said.

Bill sat back up and looked at Eddie with a slightly pained expression. He felt bad for what he was about to say but he wanted to be honest. "I can't go because th-then you w-would be all alone. I can't leave you alone at night. You might have a night terror and I know you hate being alone", Bill said softly.

They were best friends and basically family so he would never abandon Eddie like that. Eddie on the other hand felt shitty. Because of him, because he was so fucked up, his best friend felt that he could never leave Eddie to do normal adult things like stay over with a cute guy, and that was probably why he never went to parties if Eddie declined on going. In fact, Eddie can't remember a time Bill was never sleeping in the same room with him. After his parents took Eddie in they gave him the guest room but Eddie crawled into bed with Bill that night crying because he was too scared to be alone and from then on, they shared a bedroom. They even made sure they were roommates in college and Bill was there every single night.

Eddie stood up and walked over to Bill's bed and sat down next to his roommate and pulled him into a hug. He had to make this right. Bill really liked Stan and Eddie would not be the reason it didn't work out between them.

"Bill, I love you. You're the best person I have ever had in my life. That being said, yes you can go over there. In fact I demand it. You can't miss out on things because of me. I'll be fine. My only class for tomorrow got canceled so if I can't sleep, which I will be able to, then I don't have to worry about class. Go have fun. Please. You deserve it." Eddie said as he let go of Bill.

Bill nodded and grabbed his phone and replied to the text from Stan and smiled. He knew what Eddie was doing was brave and sweet and he was so thankful. He quickly changed into nicer jeans and a clean t-shirt and then stuffed some clothes and snacks in a bag and then decided to also add the new comics he had gotten. Thankfully he and Stan had the same taste in the important things. Bill walked to the door with Eddie and before he opened it he turned to the shorter boy.

"If you need anything, I mean anything at w-whatever time, call me. I mean it.", he said sternly which made Eddie giggle. It didn't help that Bill was wagging his finger like a concerned parent. Bill's eyebrows raised and Eddie cleared his throat and shook his head trying to act serious. Bill was such a mother hen to Eddie and it was amusing but also very sweet. Eddie agreed and practically had to push Bill out the door. Bill turned around to say something else but Eddie shut the door.

Once the door was closed, Eddie changed into his pajamas. He put on his black sleep shorts that were really too short but they were comfortable and a black t-shirt that had "Shh, no one knows I like boys" written on it in rainbow letters. Bill had bought it for him to try to help Eddie accept himself but he never wore it in public, not like he ever wore t-shirts in public where they could be seen, he always had a hoodie on to cover the scars on his arms. He never wore shorts in public either, he had many scars on his legs so it was always skinny jeans. Now to finish the homework so he could try to get some sleep. He wasn't worried about being alone, it wasn't that big of a deal. He would stay up watching tv if he had to.

Eddie had finished his homework about two hours later so he decided to watch a movie. Deciding on a movie was always the hardest part. There were so many he wanted to watch but making a choice was hard. Did he want comedy? Drama? Action? Romance? Bleh, maybe not romance yet, everything out there was so... hetero, and he was not ready to watch gay romance movies. He was no where near ready to watch guys having sex, it was hard enough to not feel guilty seeing guys kiss. He kept scrolling and scrolling for about ten minutes before there was a knock at the door. Confused, Eddie got up. Bill wouldn't need to knock so who in the world was knocking on Eddie's door this late? "Hold on!" he slightly yelled. He put a hoodie on and grabbed his pajama pants to pull over his shorts.

Eddie opened the door and saw Richie, standing there looking almost shy and wearing a nervous smile. Richie was wearing grey plaid pajama pants and a black torn band tee. He looked quite hot and Eddie tried to ignore that thought.

"Uh hey there Eds, could I uh, could I maybe crash here tonight? I kinda got kicked out of my room", he explained sounding way more anxious than he intended.

Eddie smirked. "What did you do?" he asked.

Richie of course grinned and fidgeted a little. "I may have told Stan to just fucking kiss Bill already because the sexual tension was starting to get me off", Richie chuckled at his own joke and Eddie did not look amused. He shook his head.

"Of course you did, sure come on in, and don't call me Eds", he scolded but there was no bite in his words. Richie smiled wide and walked in and shut the door then threw his bag on the ground at the foot of Eddie's bed and jumped in Eddie's bed right next to Eddie after he sat back down on his bed and picked up his laptop. He wasn't expecting the sudden movement and almost tossed the laptop as he yelped. Richie laughed and ruffled Eddie's hair which of course made Eddie glare daggers at his guest.

"So what are we watching?" Richie asked seemingly not affected by the glare from Eddie.

"I don't know. I was having trouble deciding", Eddie told him.

Richie took that as his cue to take the laptop from Eddie and scroll through the list Eddie had been looking through on _Netflix_ and shrugged so he opened a new tab and pulled up _Amazon Prime_ and logged in to his account. Eddie looked away when Richie typed in his password and Richie thought it was too cute.

"This is what you need to have, you can rent almost anything on here. Let's see what sounds interesting. There is _Marvel, DC,_ ooh some new horror! Oh wait, you might not like that, never mind, something softer... Have you seen _Love,_ _Simon_? Its a pretty cute movie", Richie asked after a minute of silence.

Eddie shook his head. He had seen trailers but he didn't want to explain why he didn't think he could handle it. The few people he told about his past, not counting Bill's family and his therapist, they treated him like he was a fragile piece of glass, waiting to break at any given moment. He hated being treated that way, he knew he was more fragile than most but he wanted to be treated like a normal person. 

"Maybe something else? Not exactly in the mood for gay romance movies right now", he squirmed as he said that. Eddie felt vulnerable and he hated it. He should have sucked it up and worried about future Eddie feeling awkward. He just hoped Richie wouldn't think it was weird.

"No worries man. I understand. That was a dumb suggestion on my part after everything you have been through" Richie smiled sweetly at Eddie and went back to looking through movies.

All the color in Eddie's face drained. His eyes got wide and without even thinking he yelled "What all do you know?" he felt tears prickling at his eyes but he wouldn't dare let them fall. Bill failed to mention that Richie knew anything about his past.

Richie looked worried and mentally slapped himself for saying that. Eddie didn't know that Bill had confided in him and Stan the day they all met.

"Bill kinda just gave a summery I guess. He didn't go into too much detail but Stan and I were really worried after we found you cutting and all the scars on your arm-" Eddie had cut him off realizing Stan knew too. "Stan knows too?! What the fuck!" he covered his face and felt the blood rush to his cheeks and ears. He was so embarrassed. He never wanted anyone else to know and if they did then at least have it come from himself. He was so mad at Bill. How could Bill do that to him? What all was said? Now he could never face Richie and Stan ever again. There was also the issue of Richie still next to Eddie as he is having this mental breakdown.

"Shh, hey its ok. I promise you don't need to be upset. Please don't be mad at Bill. We were all worried. I don't think any less of you, I also don't care that you have baggage either. I still want you as my friend", Richie said as he tried to soothe Eddie. He put his arm around Eddie and pulled him into an awkward hug and Eddie stayed stiff for a minute but took a deep breath and relaxed into the hug. It felt nice and warm. This was not wrong, just a hug between friends. Eddie pulled away and looked up at Richie.

"Sorry, I just... there is shame there and I'm working through my trauma but its embarrassing. I feel I should be way better than I am by now. I should be able to see guys having sex in movies without wanting to hurt myself." Eddie said but looked away at the last part.

Richie looked at this beautiful small boy next to him and wanted to just pick him up and carry him away from everything bad. His chest hurt from seeing how much pain Eddie was in. He wished he could help Eddie not feel guilty or dirty. Eddie was fidgeting and Richie knew he needed to say something. Of course the one fucking time his big mouth needs to work, he can't speak. So many thoughts swam through his head.

"Well... if it makes you feel any better, it doesn't have gay sex in the movie so maybe one day soon you will feel comfortable enough to watch it. Even if you never do, its totally fine. Just go at your own pace", Richie finally got out after feeling like there was too much quiet for much too long.

At least he got to see Eddie smile at him. A cute sweet smile that just made all the butterflies in his stomach start to flutter up into his chest. Eddie took the laptop back and started going through the movies and there was so many to go through but he finally found one he wanted to watch.

"This one!" he stated and gave the laptop to Richie so he could rent it.

Richie snorted as he saw the choice. _"Hot Rod_? Really?" Richie asked as he clicked the rent button. Eddie nodded and smiled. It was one of his favorites. Once it started up Eddie scooted closer to Richie since he was holding the laptop still and their shoulders and legs were touching.

 _This is fine. Normal guys sit like this to watch movies in a dorm room bed. This is fine._ Eddie was reminding himself that over and over again in his head. After a while Richie moved his arm to rest on the headboard of Eddie's bed and made sure not to accidentally put his arm on Eddie's shoulders. He didn't want to freak him out. He had to move his arm though, and Eddie seemed fine so he relaxed and went back to paying attention to the movie.

Eddie on the other hand almost wished Richie had put his arm around him but he knew why he didn't. He was also happy that Richie respected him enough to try not to trigger him. That happiness started to make him feel fluttering in his chest and he remembered what his therapist had told him. To go with his feelings. And he was feeling that he wanted to get closer so he very slowly scooted closer with his head ending up at Richie's armpit and he very carefully leaned into Richie, trying to make it seem like he was only trying to see the movie better.

Richie's heart felt like it started beating faster and faster and he was vaguely aware at the warm feeling he got in his stomach. This was adorable and Eddie had initiated it. He basically had the cutest guy he had ever seen cuddled up to him. He tried not to breathe as much in fear of ruining it. Every single place that Eddie's body was touching Richie's was on fire. He looked at Eddie's adorable face and saw how cute he looked when his face scrunched up when he laughed. He saw the freckles that were sprinkled across his nose and cheeks. He could smell the coconut shampoo Eddie used and the light scent of vanilla from what he guessed to be lotion Eddie had put on after taking a shower. This boy was going to kill him.

Eddie would sneak peeks up at Richie and he couldn't believe he was actually doing this and he was fine. Nothing bad was happening, the heavens weren't striking him down, he wasn't turning into stone, and his body wasn't decaying. He felt almost safe and it felt nice and he didn't want to lose that feeling any time soon. He closed his eyes and he could smell Richie, a musky scent mixed with mint and, is that cologne or just some really good smelling deodorant? No, that was cologne. Richie was wearing cologne knowing he was just going to be stuck in Eddie's room. The thought made Eddie's stomach do a flip and he felt giddy.

Richie leaned his head on Eddie's and hoped this was fine. He wanted as much as Eddie would allow. When Eddie didn't object he felt relief. He felt even more relief when Eddie softly said "You're comfortable", it was so quiet that Richie almost thought he was hearing things but the blush on Eddie's cheeks as he kept staring at the movie told him that he heard right. He smiled and felt his own face heating up a little. "Thanks", Richie whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that cute? Let me know your thoughts and I really do hope y'all are enjoying this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie thought for a moment. He had honestly planned on the sleeping arrangements to be exactly that but feeling the absence of Richie in his bed made him feel a little sad. He didn't want Richie to sleep in Bill's bed. He wanted Richie to sleep in his bed with him. He blushed at the realization and fought with himself internally. What if he was triggered and had a panic attack? What if Richie expected more than just sleeping if Eddie insisted he sleep in his bed with him? What if Eddie couldn't sleep at all because of anxious thoughts? All these what ifs and Richie stood there waiting for Eddie to respond.
> 
> "You can stay in my bed. I don't mind", he practically squeaked out. There. He said it even if his voiced cracked embarrassingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning.  
> This chapter talks about Eddie's scars. The F slur f*g is in here once, not said to anyone, its actually one of Eddie's scars.

**Chapter 7**

Once the movie was over, Richie started looking for another one to watch and Eddie sat up some and stretched. He was enjoying the relaxing night and spending time with Richie but he was a bit warm since he was wearing his hoodie and pajama pants but other than that, he was having a good night.

"How does _Kung Fu Panda_ sound?" Richie asked. Eddie smiled and nodded. Of course he would pick something adorable like that.

They both settled back into how they were sitting with the previous movie although Richie could have sworn Eddie was somehow even closer to him. He tried to keep his thoughts at bay and pay attention to the movie. It was so hard to do that with this cute spitfire next to him and all he wanted to do was flirt shamelessly with him. He noticed Eddie seemed to be getting warmer and he was sure it was because he was always like a human furnace.

"Are you hot?" Richie asked.

"I mean a little, you seem to give off a lot of body heat", Eddie replied with a smirk. That totally did not make Richie's heart skip a beat, not in the slightest.

"Why are you still wearing a hoodie? You sleep in that thing?" Richie asked trying to seem normal and not like his heart swooned at the other boy's smirk.

Eddie looked away and tried to think of how to respond to the question. He could be honest and tell his guest that he keeps himself covered when he's around people or he could just shrug it off and pretend he didn't think about it. Both options weren't very appealing but he decided to go with the truth.

"I uh, I keep myself covered when I'm around other people", Eddie whispered. He hated even thinking about how much he hated the marks on his skin. He knows its his fault they are there but he wishes he had never even started cutting in the first place.

"You don't have to hide your scars from me", Richie said softly. He was afraid he might be crossing the line but he didn't want Eddie to be uncomfortable because he felt he had to hide himself. Eddie gasped at Richie's words, he wasn't expecting him to be so upfront and say the word scars like it was normal and not a dirty word. Eddie took a deep breath and slowly pulled his hoodie off then tossed it to the foot of the bed. He refused to make eye contact with Richie.

Richie slowly touched Eddie's arm and slowly ran his fingertips over the scars. His other arm had gauze wrapped around the newest cut but Richie was focused on the arm closer to him. He felt the raised skin, the sunken skin, he didn't find Eddie's scars ugly, he considered them proof he was fighting and hadn't given up. Then he touched the one Eddie had made to try to kill himself and it was the largest scar he had. Richie felt so sad that Eddie was in this much pain, that he was trapped with no means of escape.

Eddie shivered and felt a chill go up his spine as he felt the light touches on his arm. The soft gentle touch actually felt comforting and good to him. Not even Bill had touched him like this. Bill was always super careful to not touch Eddie's scars. Maybe it was out of respect or fear, Eddie wasn't sure. All he knew was Richie's fingers felt like silk and yet buzzing with electric currents that made every spot his fingers pressed against, tingle.

"You aren't ugly", Richie whispered softly to himself. He honestly didn't mean to let it slip out. He was thinking it and he hoped Eddie wouldn't feel weird about the strange compliment. Eddie blushed but didn't say a word. Richie had only seen the scars on his arms, the ones on his legs were worse. He actually carved out words on his legs sometimes. That always seemed to upset Bill even more, he constantly told Eddie the words weren't true.

Eddie had carved the words "fag", "ugly", and "dirty" on one thigh along with other cuts, and he carved "shame", "disgrace", and "alone" on the other thigh, also along with other cuts. He told himself he needed to be reminded on why his own mother would hate him so much that she would send him to conversion therapy. Bill always told him those words were not true, every single time he saw Eddie look at the words, Bill was always there telling him those words were lies.

"You haven't seen my legs" Eddie told Richie. At this Richie stopped touching Eddie's arm and looked at him.

"What do you mean? Cuts there too still don't make you ugly", Richie stated like his word was law. Eddie found it almost sweet.

Eddie started pulling his pajama pants off and let Richie see the worst of it. Richie gasped at the sight before him. He felt hot tears in his eyes but he wouldn't cry, not right now. Eddie wouldn't look at Richie, he didn't want to see the disgust in Richie's face but he felt a large hand touch his chin and pull his gaze towards Richie's eyes.

"You are not any of these words Eddie", Richie spoke after a moment of total silence other than their breathing.

Before anything else could be said, Eddie's phone dinged, alerting him to a text. He picked up his phone to read the text.

**Bill: You doing alright?**

**Eddie: Yeah, Richie came by and we have been watching movies.**

Richie stared at Eddie as he saw him typing on his phone. This boy was seriously the most beautiful person on earth and he didn't even know it! He wanted to hold Eddie and never let go. He wanted to help Eddie see himself the way he should see himself.

**Bill: Yeah, sorry Stan kicked him out. Honestly didn't think he would have the balls to go to your room lol**

**Eddie: What do you mean?**

**Bill: He threatened to go tell on us to you and Stan told him go for it. Of course Richie was bluffing.**

**Eddie: Well he is here. I showed him all my scars.**

**Bill: WHAT?!?!**

**Eddie: Shut up. I'm sure he thinks I'm a freak now but he is oddly sweet.**

Eddie set his phone down and looked back at Richie who never took his eyes off him. Eddie giggled and tilted his head to the side. Richie of course let out a nervous laugh and he could not handle how cute Eddie was being. Richie's neck started to turn red and the blush rose up to his face. Eddie thought it was cute.

"You're blushing", Eddie said with a teasing tone.

Richie looked away and tried to deny it.

"No, I'm not. Its just hot in here", Richie fanned himself.

"Want to go to sleep? I'm pretty tired." Eddie asked.

"Oh yeah sure", Richie said and he starting standing up so he could go over to Bill's bed. He was sure Bill wouldn't mind.

Eddie looked at him confused. "You don't have to leave..." Eddie trailed off worrying he said the wrong thing.

"Oh I figured you would want me to take Bill's bed", Richie explained.

Eddie thought for a moment. He had honestly planned on the sleeping arrangements to be exactly that but feeling the absence of Richie in his bed made him feel a little sad. He didn't want Richie to sleep in Bill's bed. He wanted Richie to sleep in his bed with him. He blushed at the realization and fought with himself internally. What if he was triggered and had a panic attack? What if Richie expected more than just sleeping if Eddie insisted he sleep in his bed with him? What if Eddie couldn't sleep at all because of anxious thoughts? All these what ifs and Richie stood there waiting for Eddie to respond.

"You can stay in my bed. I don't mind", he practically squeaked out. There. He said it even if his voiced cracked embarrassingly.

Richie didn't say anything, he just got back in Eddie's bed and got under the blanket. Eddie handed his laptop to Richie to put on the bedside table then laid down on his back. Richie had laid on his back too. There was awkward silence and neither knew what to do next. Both their minds screamed at them to say something.

"Well uh, goodnight", Eddie blurted out and turned on his side facing the wall. Richie looked over at Eddie's back and craved holding the boy again.

"Goodnight Eds", he whispered and took his glasses off to set on the bedside table.

There was about ten minutes of silence before Eddie spoke.

"Richie... Could you...?" Eddie trailed off unable to ask what he wanted. He didn't feel right asking Richie to fucking hold him as they slept. He heart was pounding and he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? His mind wasn't ready for intimacy like that with someone he has known less than a week. The good thing was, Richie knew what Eddie was trying to ask. He could hear it in his voice. He could feel it in the air. So Richie turned on his side facing Eddie and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close and held him. Eddie gasped and he felt his heart beating so loud that Richie had to be able to hear it. His back was against Richie's chest, his ass against Richie's crotch. Richie's arms were around Eddie and Eddie grabbed Richie's arms with his hands and closed his eyes. He felt overwhelmed but in a good way. Like peaceful and safe but also happy and excited.

Richie kissed the top of Eddie's head and whispered "Sweet dreams".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff.  
> Y'all are welcome to follow me on tumblr, I'm fuji09 there.  
> Let me know what y'all think on this chapter! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It really does make me happy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Good morning cutie, how are you this adorable in the morning?" Richie asked with heart eyes. It was so endearing and Eddie was blushing furiously.
> 
> "Because you don't have your glasses on so you can't actually see me dipshit", Eddie threw back with a smirk. That of course made Richie laugh and he grabbed his glasses and put them on.
> 
> "I can see now and I was right Eds, still adorable", Richie said as he rubbed his nose against Eddie's causing him to blush even more.
> 
> "Don't call me that", was all Eddie could think to say back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some cute fluff and shit

**Chapter 8**

The next morning sunlight peaked through the blinds and the chirps of birds could be heard. It was around eleven in the morning and Richie and Eddie were dead to the world. Sometime in the night Eddie had turned over to his other side now facing Richie. Their faces were inches apart, Eddie's arm slung over Richie around his neck while his leg was slung over Richie's hip. Richie was still holding Eddie, one of his hands resting on Eddie's ass and the other clinging tightly to the smaller boy's back. They both slept better than ever before, Eddie didn't have any nightmares and Richie actually slept! Richie didn't sleep much, he had insomnia and most of the time he just slept here and there when he could, but last night he was able to have a deep restful sleep.

Eddie was the first to stir, he nuzzled Richie's face and took a deep breath. His brain starting to wake up more and he realized the position he was in. He felt so comfortable but he also felt scared. How was this guy able to just waltz right in and do what no one else could? How could he actually make Eddie feel safe and not so dirty with the sweet touching? He still felt anxious but before Richie, he would be spiraling into a meltdown if he had woken up like this with a guy. Right now it was only a tug at his heart and he was able to stay calm. Eddie felt Richie start to wake up and saw the goofiest grin on Richie's face.

"Good morning cutie, how are you this adorable in the morning?" Richie asked with heart eyes. It was so endearing and Eddie was blushing furiously.

"Because you don't have your glasses on so you can't actually see me dipshit", Eddie threw back with a smirk. That of course made Richie laugh and he grabbed his glasses and put them on.

"I can see now and I was right Eds, still adorable", Richie said as he rubbed his nose against Eddie's causing him to blush even more.

"Don't call me that", was all Eddie could think to say back.

Bill and Stan walked down the hall to get some things from Bill's room. As they got closer they heard giggling. They looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Sounds like they had fun", Stan said as he tried not to smile.

Bill opened the door without knocking, he knew Eddie would be decent enough, and he was grinning from ear to ear. "Y'all are loud", Bill states once the door is open.

Eddie yelps and untangles himself from Richie and grabs his blankets and tosses them over himself.

"Bill! What the fuck?!" he growled to his roommate. Richie was sitting up and smiling and Stan was averting his eyes.

"I knew you w-would have clothes on", Bill said while laughing.

"I'm only in shorts and a t-shirt! Fuck you!", Eddie spit out.

He knows Stan had seen his arms before but not his legs, and the leg that was on Richie was in clear view when Bill and Stan had come in. He was angry but he honestly felt more afraid. Bill's parents had never seen his legs, Eddie used to wear shorts all the time, then after he moved in with Bill, he never wore them again until they went to college and only to sleep in. He missed wearing them but it was the price he had to pay for being a fuck up.

"If it makes you feel any better Eddie, I've seen worse. I've walked in on Richie naked and dancing around our room, I can't ever get rid of that mental image, it haunts me", Stan shuttered dramatically.

Eddie peaked his head out from under his blanket and looked at Stan. Richie and Bill were laughing and it made Eddie start to giggle. Richie loved that sound. If he could make Eddie giggle forever, he would. "Really?" Eddie asked softly.

Stan nodded and Richie slung an arm around Eddie. "Now don't be jealous Eds, Stan the man will never have the joy of-" Stan interrupted Richie as quickly as he could.

"Beep beep Richie", Stan glared as he said the unusual phrase. Bill and Eddie looked at each other confused so Stan explained how that's what he and another friend of their's says to shut Richie up.

After chatting for a little while they decided to go get coffee. Richie ran back to his room to change and Stan walked out and waited by the door so Eddie could change clothes. He decided to go with a maroon sweater that was a little too big on him that kept falling off one shoulder and his dark grey skinny jeans. He put a beanie on that matched his sweater perfectly and then slipped his shoes on. Bill was scrolling through his phone waiting for his roommate to finish getting ready. He had changed clothes at Stan's room and wore jeans and a blue and white t-shirt.

Richie tried to decide what to wear. He wanted to look nice but most of his clothes were either dark or loud. Dark band tees, Hawaiian shirts, skinny jeans of all colors, he even had a pair of black ripped jeans that had several chains on them, that he usually reserved for clubbing but it had been a while so he chose that and grabbed a black shirt with a grey rib cage on it and then put a blue Hawaiian shirt over it unbuttoned. He brushed his hair then put on his black combat boots. He was ready so he walked back over and saw Stan outside the door.

"Eddie is changing clothes so I offered to wait out here", Stan explained. He was dressed in dark blue jeans with a short sleeved button up shirt, very casual for Stan and something he rarely did. Maybe Bill was rubbing off on him.

The door opened and Bill and Eddie walked out. Richie thought he was going to die after seeing Eddie in his oversized sweater that he kept having to pull up only for it to fall off his shoulder right after. How can someone be that cute? It should be illegal. How is it not illegal? Eddie was seriously killing him and he wanted nothing more than to kiss that cute freckled face. Eddie of course was oblivious to Richie staring but Bill and Stan both noticed.

"Richie! Stop ogling Eddie and lets go!" Stan shouted and grabbed Richie's wrist and pulled him towards the elevator. Richie's cheeks turned bright pink and was going to give Stan an earful for that later. Bill chuckled while Eddie's eyes widen and he blushed but started following the two guys leading the way.

The coffee shop was buzzing today, people in between classes, students studying, it was still more quiet than most coffee shops but there was a lot more people than normal. Mike was working the register and his face lit up when he saw his friends. He waved and finished taking everyone's order ahead of his friends then finally he was able to talk to them.

"Eddie! How are you feeling?" Mike asked in an excited yet kind voice. He felt bad that he hadn't been able to visit Eddie because of work and school but he planned on hanging out with his friends that weekend for some much needed chill time.

"I'm ok. Thank you for the food", Eddie said quietly. Mike smiled bright and came around from behind the counter and hugged Eddie. Eddie thought he smelled like coffee and cinnamon. Mike wore a bright red t-shirt with black slacks, he always tried to look nice for work.

Richie thought Mike was really cute and was about to say hello when another employee walked up the group.

"Hey Mike, I finished the batch of cookies", the employee spoke. He had reddish blond hair and still had baby fat in his cheeks but it was oddly adorable. His smile lit up the room and when he sneezed causing the flour on him to dust around him then settle back down on him and the floor, he still looked really cute.

"Thanks Ben!", Mike said back cheerfully then turned back to his friends. "Lets get some coffee for y'all! I know what Eddie and Bill wants, Stan, what would you like? Oh and I see there is another new friend! Hi I'm Mike".

"Richie Tozier is the name and-" Stan slapped his hand over Richie's mouth as an inaudible mumble was heard.

Eddie giggled and Mike looked amused. Richie pushed away Stan's hand and glared.

"Fuck Staniel, I was just going to say I wanted a caramel latte, geez..." Richie said but the glint in his eyes made it clear that was not what he was going to say. Stan shook his head.

"Make that two", Stan said exasperated. Being Richie's friend could be tiring sometimes and trying to keep obscenities spewing from Richie's mouth was a full time job.

Once the group had finished their coffee they stayed in the cafe, chatting and just enjoying each other's company. Mike was able to join for a little while during his break and they made plans to go clubbing that weekend. He wanted to invite his coworker Ben as well which the group was happy to include him. Stan and Richie were going to have their friend join so the rest could finally meet their other other half (technically third) of their best friend trio, Bev. Richie described her as a free spirit with fiery red hair and a personality to match.

"I've never been clubbing before", Eddie practically whispered. He had gone to a few parties at the college but never to a club. He wasn't opposed to it, he just knew a lot of people who went to clubs around there were very fluid and he wasn't ready for turning people down or possibly running into trouble.

"Don't worry Eds, you'll have us to protect you!" Richie yelled and was shushed by Stan. Sometimes he didn't realize how loud he was and he didn't care. Stan on the other hand, cared very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bill, I don't have anything to wear!" Eddie said frustrated.
> 
> Bill walked over and started looking through Eddie's clothes. He had sweaters, hoodies, skinny jeans, polo shirts, sweat pants, and some t-shirts. Most of his clothing was black and grey but the polos were bright or pastel colors. Bill held out a few nice looking polo shirts but Eddie shook his head at all of them.
> 
> "W-we could go shopping", Bill suggested.
> 
> Eddie thought about the idea. He had a credit card from Bill's parents that he was allowed to use for anything he needed. The family was loaded and had no issue with either boy spending money. Of course Eddie never felt he had the right to spend their money after everything they had done for him but he was in need for some new clothes.
> 
> "Ok, nothing too expensive though", Eddie finally said and he and Bill got dressed to head to the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this isn't longer. I'm sick but I wanted to get an update out.

**Chapter 9**

It was finally Friday. The day to hang out, to go clubbing, and to drink. Eddie was nervous, unsure of what to expect and he had no clue what to wear. He looked through all the clothes in his closet but he couldn't find anything he felt would be good for going out to a club.

"Bill, I don't have anything to wear!" Eddie said frustrated.

Bill walked over and started looking through Eddie's clothes. He had sweaters, hoodies, skinny jeans, polo shirts, sweat pants, and some t-shirts. Most of his clothing was black and grey but the polos were bright or pastel colors. Bill held out a few nice looking polo shirts but Eddie shook his head at all of them.

"W-we could go shopping", Bill suggested.

Eddie thought about the idea. He had a credit card from Bill's parents that he was allowed to use for anything he needed. The family was loaded and had no issue with either boy spending money. Of course Eddie never felt he had the right to spend their money after everything they had done for him but he was in need for some new clothes.

"Ok, nothing too expensive though", Eddie finally said and he and Bill got dressed to head to the mall.

Stan was in the hall about to unlock his door when Eddie and Bill stepped out. He waved at them and Bill and Eddie walked up to him.

"Hey", Stan said shyly looking at Bill.

"Hey, w-we're going to the mall to get Eddie some new clothes for tonight." Bill explained.

Eddie nodded and Stan smiled at him. He wished them luck and then they parted ways. Bill was excited for tonight. He planned on dancing with Stan and hopefully getting nice and drunk. Eddie was nervous to see Richie, there was something there between them and he hoped that maybe some new clothes could boost his confidence and he could feel cool for a change.

The mall was big, three floors to be exact, Eddie had only been a few times and he had no idea where to begin. He didn't even have a style. Most of his clothes were from Bill's parents or from his mom. He rarely picked anything out and he honestly didn't even know what he liked. He felt overwhelmed and Bill who could almost seem to feel it when Eddie got overwhelmed, grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him towards a store that seemed to have a mix of everything.

Music played but wasn't too loud, the store was bright and had so many different colors of clothing and accessories.

A girl with bright red hair that had natural waves and barely hit her shoulders walked up to them. She had on a green knee-length dress and black combat boots. A lanyard was around her neck with her nametag and the store keys that jingled when she walked.

"Hi! I'm Bev. Can I help you find anything?" The employee, Bev, asked.

Her smile was kind and her eyes sparkled. She looked actually happy and wanting to help.

"My friend Eddie w-was needing some new clothes since w-we are going clubbing tonight", Bill explained.

Eddie smiled shyly and waved. He felt socially awkward and wished he was better at this. Bev just smiled at Eddie and looked ready to begin.

"Awesome! What kind of style do you have? Any specific clothing you really like?" Bev asked.

"I wear skinny jeans amd sweaters a lot but that isn't exactly club clothes", Eddie replied.

Bev looked Eddie up and down, tapping her finger on her cheek. The gears in her head were turning. She was figuring out the best choices for the cute boy in front of her. His naturally tanned skin would look great in most colors, his small frame would look good in oversized shirts, he was very thin so shorts would look amazing on him, he had a nice ass that would look great in any jeans, and Eddie pretty much had a perfect body.

"Ok! I have some ideas, go to the changing room and I'll bring you some outfits that I think would look amazing on you. All the rooms are open so pick whichever one you want", Bev said and quickly walked away to gather the clothes she was already picturing in her head.

Eddie and Bill walked to the back and went the the dressing room and Eddie picked the first door and Bill sat in a chair beside the giant mirror in the small waiting area.

Eddie was vibrating with excitement and nerves and he soon heard a knock on the door. He opened it and Bev walked in with an armful of clothes and she hung them on the racks inside the room.

"So these outfits are perfect for your body type, I'll be right outside the door if you need anything", Bev said then walked out and closed the door behind her.

Eddie stripped and took the first outfit and looked at it. It was a ripped dark grey sweater with the left side of the bottom of it longer than the right side. It was beyond soft and Eddie loved it before he even put it on. The bottoms were black jean shorts, very short jean shorts, and he deflated a little when he realized he wouldn't he able to wear them.

"I can't wear shorts", he said.

The door opened a little and Bev stuck her head in.

"You have the legs for it", she said sweetly.

Eddie shook his head.

"I have... scars", he whispered the last word.

Eddie could hear a "hmm" come from Bev and she quickly pulled her head out and closed the door. A minute later she was back and came inside the room. She held out a pack of fishnet tights.

"Try these with it", she said and darted back out of the room.

Eddie put on the fishnets and he had to admit they looked good on him. Next were the shorts and he couldn't believe how good they made his ass look. The sweater was the last to put on, the sleeves were so long it almost covered his entire hand, and the longer side went past the shorts and he noticed the back of the sweater swooped a bit lower in the back and the wide neck opening made his collarbones visible and he looked ar himself and thought he looked hot. The fishnets hid his scars and he felt attractive for once in his life.

He walked out and Bill and Bev stared. Bill's jaw practically dropped and Bev looked pleased.

"Damn Eddie! You look hot!" Bill said a bit too loudly.

Eddie giggled and blushed. He was definitely buying this outfit.

"Do you like it?" Bev asked.

Eddie nodded his head quickly and smiled. He went back inside the room to try on the next outfit. Now he had a tank top with hardly any back to it, it scooped down so low there was just a small piece of fabric at the bottom for the back of the tank, the front went up to his neck, it was black with the words "Fxck Off" in white. The scars on his arms would show for sure, he was tempted to take the shirt off but he really liked it. The bottoms were black skinny jeans with zippers all over the front. He put them on and then walked out again.

Bill again couldn't believe how amazing his friend looked. This employee knew her shit and he would leave her a nice tip even though no one ever did that. She deserved it for helping his friend feel good about how he looked.

Neither Bill or Bev seemed to even notice how blatantly Eddie's scars were visible and that gave Eddie the courage to consider buying it, even if it would be a while before he wore it out in public. If he could not relapse anymore, he could possibly wear it after a while.

"That looks great on you" Bev told Eddie which made him smile. Bill nodded his head in agreement and Eddie turned around to go back and try on the next outfit.

After about ten different outfits, Eddie agreed to buy them all with Bill's encouragement. Bev rung them up and handed the bags to Eddie. He smiled and took them happily and thanked Bev over and over again.

"Its no problem! I'm happy to help", she said and smiled that dazzling smile of hers.

Bill handed her a fifty dollar bill and thanked her for making Eddie's experience the best he has ever had with shopping. Bev hugged him and thanked him for the tip.

The boys stopped for some mall foodcourt food and then went to the shoe store. Eddie wasn't sure which outfit he would wear but he hoped he would find shoes that would go with everything he bought.

After finding black combat boots with a chain on each boot and some solid black slip on Van's, he was about ready to check out until he saw a pair of Converse high tops that had galaxy print. He was a sucker for galaxy print so he grabbed them in his size and the boys left the shoe store with three new pairs of shoes for Eddie and one new pair for Bill.

Now it was time to head back to their dorm so they could get ready. They talked about which outfit Eddie should wear and it was finally settled on the first outfit he tried on. He would wear the combat boots with it and for the first time in a long time, Eddie was excited to get dressed up and go out.

Eddie was finishing up his makeup when there was a knock on the door. Bill got up to open it. He decided to go with jeans and a white t-shirt with a black leather jacket.

He opened the door and Richie and Stan walked in. Stan's eyes were instantly on Bill. He loved the almost bad boy look Bill had. Stan wore a nice green and blue short sleeve button up with khakis and his dress shoes. Bill thought he looked like a dream.

Richie could not keep his eyes off Eddie. He about sprung a boner right there in front of everyone. Eddie blushed when he realized Richie was ogling him. It was so hard to behave around Eddie already and Richie was wondering how in the hell he could still behave around this extremely hot boy.

Eddie wouldn't admit he thought Richie looked pretty hot as well. After all, the tall guy was wearing blood red skinny jeans with rainbow suspenders and a tight black v-neck t-shirt with a black and white flannel over it and the sleeves were rolled up. He looked like a fucking god and Eddie tried to ignore the warmth he felt in his lower abdomen.

A chest tattoo peaked out with the v-neck shirt and the outline of muscles could be seen through the tight shirt. The various tattoos on Richie's arms stood out. Eddie could tell there were more higher up but he couldn't remember what they were. He knew he had seen some pretty cool ones when he wore short sleeves.

They stared at each other, neither of them daring to speak and break the tension. It was going to be a long night for both of them.

Suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat broke the silence.

"Um, if you're done eye fucking each other, we should probably get going", Stan deadpanned.

Bill giggled and Eddie and Richie both blushed and looked away from each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be better and will be about them at the club.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After about twenty minutes, the group arrived at the club, people were standing in line out the doors, a neon sign above them with the club's name in huge letters. The Gay Agenda.
> 
> Eddie noticed and whispered to Bill, "Its a gay club?"
> 
> "I guess so. I didn't know. W-we can leave if you w-want", Bill said as he got worried but Eddie shook his head. He didn't want to let this ruin his night out. He felt cute and he wanted to dance and drink a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure y'all will hate me when you get to the end of the chapter but I really wanted to end the chapter this way.

**Chapter 10**

Eddie, Richie, Bill, and Stan walked out of their dorm building and met Mike outside. He was standing with his coworker Ben that he invited to come along. Mike smiled and waved as the boys got closer to him and Ben. Mike was wearing dark blue jeans and a red t-shirt while Ben seemed to dress up a bit with wearing a nice white polo shirt and light blue jeans.

"Are we ready to have some fun?!" Mike asked loudly.

After everyone enthusiastically said yes, Mike made sure everyone knew who Ben was and introductions and greetings were made.

"We are meeting my friend at the club, she got off work a bit late", Richie said so everyone started walking towards downtown.

Mike couldn't believe how dressed up Eddie was and he told Eddie how adorable he looked which prompted Eddie to blush a deep red and look away. He couldn't believe Mike, seriously one of the most beautiful guys he has ever seen, thinks that he looks adorable! Eddie felt a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest and he quietly said thank you.

Thankfully their school was close to downtown so stores and clubs were easy to walk to and it helped prevent a lot of drunk driving accidents from happening. The group made idle chat on their walk to the club. Richie kept his eye on Eddie the whole time, sweet adorable Eddie laughing his adorable laugh at something Ben had said to him and he couldn't believe how fucking cute someone could be just laughing. His nose would scrunch up a bit, he would cover his mouth with his hand and make the cutest sounding giggle Richie had ever heard.

Stan nudged Richie to bring him back to planet earth.

"Staring is creepy", Stan said flatly and Richie gave him an unimpressed look.

"I can't help it. He's just so fucking cute! I mean, look at him! That goddamn adorable laugh! Those doe eyes! Fuck me!", Richie whisper yells.

"He is also someone who clearly can't be in a relationship right now, you might want to keep the pining to a minimum so you don't get yourself hurt", Stan explained.

Richie shook head head and felt annoyed. He knew he had to take things slow, but damn couldn't he at least try to steer things that direction? He'd wait forever if he had to, Eddie was worth that but he wanted to hold him and never let the small boy go.

"I can help him, I can help him feel safer and show him he can be himself and its ok!" Richie looked at Stan as he said that and Stan shook his head.

"Richie, I'm not trying to be a downer but realistically Eddie is dealing with some pretty heavy shit. He has PTSD for one, anxiety, and depression and who knows what else! You can't fix him or make him better by dating him. Those illnesses and problems don't go away just because you date someone." Stan explained knowing his friend wouldn't like what he was hearing.

"I know that! That's not what I meant! I just mean I could try to help... I don't know..." Richie trailed off.

Stan put his arm around his best friend, something he rarely did, and side hugged him. Richie relaxed into the touch he rarely got from Stan and smiled a little. Little did he know that Eddie was constantly sneaking peaks at him while Ben kept talking to him.

Bill was telling Mike everything that had happened the past week. He knew Mike sometimes felt left out because he had to work a lot but Bill tried his hardest to keep him included.

After about twenty minutes, the group arrived at the club, people were standing in line out the doors, a neon sign above them with the club's name in huge letters. The Gay Agenda.

Eddie noticed and whispered to Bill, "Its a gay club?"

"I guess so. I didn't know. W-we can leave if you w-want", Bill said as he got worried but Eddie shook his head. He didn't want to let this ruin his night out. He felt cute and he wanted to dance and drink a little.

A girl that Eddie and Bill recognized right away smiled when she saw the group and waved.

"Richie!" the girl yelled.

"Everyone, this is Bev, Bev this is-" Richie was cut off.

"Eddie dear! I had no idea you would be here!" Bev squealed and ran to hug Eddie. "You look super cute!"

Eddie blushed. "Thanks to you of course".

Richie looked thoroughly confused. "Uh, did I miss something?"

Bill explained how Bev was the girl who helped Eddie find clothes he liked and Eddie kept butting in with his own compliments about Bev which had the girl beaming. Bev had changed into a black strapless dress that went to mid thigh. 

The group got in line and were all introducing themselves themselves to Bev and making small talk. The line was moving at a good pace and they finally got to the front where they had to show their IDs. All of them except Eddie were twenty one but Eddie had a fake ID so they all got in with ease and no X's on their hands. Bill and Mike were the only ones who knew Eddie's ID was fake and were excited to actually use it for once. Bill never thought the day would come. He would have to remind Eddie to thank him later.

"So drinks first or dance?" Bev asked.

The club was dark and somewhat loud but the music got louder the closer you got to the dance floor so they could still hear each other pretty well. They discussed what to do first and Richie was dying to dance so the group started to head to the dance floor except Eddie. Mike noticed and stayed back with Eddie.

"Go ahead Mike, I'm gonna get a drink first. I can see the dance floor from the bar behind me", Eddie said knowing that Mike would want Eddie to stay close.

"Are you sure? Clubs can be a bit overwhelming" Mike asked.

"Yeah I'm sure. Go on", Eddie waved Mike off then turned around to get a drink. He sat on a bar stool and waited for the bartender to notice him. He didn't mind waiting. He thought the bartender was pretty cute. He was a tall thin white guy with bleached platinum blonde hair. He wore a black tank top under yellow overalls shorts. He had a couple tattoos scattered among his arms and legs but Eddie noticed the septum piercing and snakebites and thought it went well with the guy's look. He wore a name tag but Eddie couldn't read it but luckily he didn't have to wait long before the bartender noticed him.

"Hey sweetheart, what will it be?" the bartender asked Eddie.

Eddie of course got flustered and he felt that damn blush creeping up his neck so he fiddled with the end of his sleeves.

"Well um, I don't know. This is the first time I've gone out drinking, do you have anything that isn't really strong? Like just a little bit of alcohol? I barely want to get tipsy", Eddie spoke out just a bit too fast.

"I think I can help you with that sweetheart, I'll use less alcohol in it for you", the bartender said and immediately got to work on making Eddie's drink. He put in a few fruit juices and poured just a little bit of coconut rum in the drink right in front of Eddie so he could see that it didn't have that much alcohol in it. He shook it and added a couple more mixers, a little _7 Up_ , and a cherry then handed it to Eddie with a smile.

"Thank you, how much?" Eddie went to grab his wallet but the bartender shook his head.

"On the house sweetheart", he told Eddie kindly.

Eddie smiled and took a sip of his drink.

"Wow! Its really good! Thank you again. I'm Eddie"

"I'm Vic. I also know who you are", the bartender Vic replied.

Eddie looked very confused. He looked at Vic and tried so hard to think where he knew him from. Not college, not a childhood friend, he couldn't place him anywhere.

"I'm sorry but how do you know me?" Eddie asked still trying to rack his brain.

Vic smiled and leaned on the bar. "I saved your life, and then you saved mine".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh! The suspense! The cliffhanger! I always got so mad when I'd hit a cliffhanger and now I'm doing it to y'all. I'm sorry but I couldn't imagine ending the chapter any other way. Its too good of a cliffhanger to not use.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie choked on his drink as he heard the words Vic spoke. "Excuse me?" he asked in between coughs.
> 
> "Its a long story. I was at conversion therapy camp with you", Vic spoke with a frown.
> 
> Eddie's eyes widen. He didn't remember him. He didn't remember any of the other boys there since they weren't allowed to even look at each other. There were so many rules to keep the boys from interacting, not just to keep them from "sinning" but to also isolate them and break them down and keep them down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just updated last night but I had to get the next chapter out.  
> Trigger warning.  
> This chapter talks about the conversion therapy camp that Eddie went to. It doesn't go into too heavy of detail but it is there a long with the suicide attempt mention.

**Chapter 11**

Eddie choked on his drink as he heard the words Vic spoke. "Excuse me?" he asked in between coughs.

"Its a long story. I was at conversion therapy camp with you", Vic spoke with a frown.

Eddie's eyes widen. He didn't remember him. He didn't remember any of the other boys there since they weren't allowed to even look at each other. There were so many rules to keep the boys from interacting, not just to keep them from "sinning" but to also isolate them and break them down and keep them down.

"Yeah, so the day you got there, you were put in a cell close to mine. I thought you were so small and must be the youngest boy they had ever had, but it turned out you were only a year younger than me. I remember how scared you looked and that night after your "session" you cried. I felt so bad for you so I started humming the song Beautiful Dreamer. You slowly stopped crying and fell asleep", Vic paused as someone asked him for a refill so he held up a finger to Eddie to let him know one moment and he will will be right back. Eddie remembered hearing the song, he never knew it was for him but he felt warmth in his chest at knowing that someone actually cared.

"Ok, sorry about that. Anyway, fast forward to weeks later, You apparently pleased them, I remember hearing them praise your progress and they were so sure you were being cured. They gave you a piece of candy as a reward. We were all so jealous since it had been days since any of us had eaten but you didn't eat it, you put it in your pocket. The next day was a really bad day for me. I wasn't being cured fast enough and I had a particularly painful session and I was literally carried to my cell because I couldn't walk. I curled up into a ball and cried, hard. I was cold and wet and had open wounds and I really thought I was going to die. They took you out of your cell, I guess it was your turn for your session and as you walked by my cell you tossed the candy you got the day before at me. I picked it up and I looked at you but you were already facing forward and walking away. You gave me hope that day." Vic paused and cleared his throat. His eyes were watering as were Eddie's. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Weeks later, late at night, I couldn't sleep. I laid on my cot and I began to feel sick. I could smell this strong metallic scent. I sat up to look around to see where it could possibly be coming from and I saw you, laying on the floor with blood pooling around your arm. You cut deep, I swear it was like halfway to your inner elbow. You were trying to end it but I couldn't let you die. I yelled and screamed for help. All the other boys were awake but just sat in silence not knowing what to do. Finally some of the workers came in and they freaked out. They were trying to decide what to do. They were talking about hiding your body and I begged them to get you help. The head "therapist" came in and called an ambulance. He was pissed and I knew I was going to be in trouble but I didn't care. I guess we weren't too far from a hospital because the ambulance got there pretty quickly. They instantly began trying to get you stable, you had lost a lot of blood. I was crying and thanking the EMT's over and over again. They saw the state every single one of us was in and called the police. You were taken away and I was so happy you escaped. I vowed to find you and thank you."

"The police arrived and pretty much shut down the place and arrested every single worker there. We were all taken to the hospital. Apparently I was close to dying, doctor said if it had been any longer I would have died. I had some infections and you saved my life right after I saved your's. I kept asking to see you, they said you weren't awake so I'd sneak out of my room and go to your's. I'd sit there for hours talking to you. Some kids got to go home, the rest were put in foster care. As they got better more and more left the hospital. I was the last one to leave since I was the worst off out of everyone other than you. The day I heard you woke up I was so happy. I could finally thank you and I went to your room but a family was in there. You were talking to the son and you seemed to know them. You were smiling and I didn't want to intrude so I went back to my room. That guy never left your room and his parents were in there a lot as well so I stayed away. The day the foster family came to get me I went to see if I could finally speak to you but you were gone, I asked where you were and was told you were sent to the in patient mental ward. They wouldn't allow me to see you, only family. I went home with the foster family and that was it. I honestly never thought I'd see you again but here you are!"

Eddie sat there unable to speak. It all felt so surreal. He remembered giving a boy his candy. He remembered hearing yelling once he had tried to end it, and he remembered a kind voice speaking to him while at the hospital. He honestly thought the voice was all in his head. He couldn't believe that it was real. He couldn't believe how good Vic looked. He no longer looked emaciated and miserable. He looked healthy and happy. A couple tears fell from Eddie's eyes and he wiped them away, not caring if he smudged his makeup.

"I can't believe it. You look so good. You look happy and healthy and I'm just shocked. Thank you by the way for calling for help", Eddie said trying to keep from crying harder.

Vic smiled. "Thank you for saving mine. You saved all of us. Because of you, that _place_ will never hurt another boy. Can I hug you?" Vic asked.

All Eddie could do was nod and Vic walked around the bar and wrapped Eddie in one of the best hugs Eddie ever felt. He felt gratitude, he felt care, and he felt love. Vic had waited so long to do this and he felt a few tears fall from his face. Once the hug was broken, Vic sat on a stool and Eddie stayed standing.

"I go to group therapy with some of the boys from the camp. You're always welcome to join if you want. I know they would love to see how you're doing and thank you as well", Vic offered.

"I don't know. I honestly haven't been doing great. I'm no where near your progress. I still cut, I still barely eat, I still get triggered, and I still can't be with guys", Eddie said sadly.

Vic looked at him with such a sad but caring look. He knew where Eddie was. He had been there. He knew Eddie could benefit from the group therapy. Every single one of the boys from the camp had been there or are still there.

"I've been there, it takes time. Everyone heals at a different pace. I really think you could get a lot of help and support, let me see your phone", Vic said and held his hand out.

Eddie took out his phone and handed it to Vic. Vic added in his phone number, took a photo of himself, then made the photo his contact photo then handed it back to Eddie.

"There, now you can send me a text if you want to go, or if you just need someone to talk to that knows what you're going through. I'm really glad I finally got to see you again", Vic said softly.

Richie had been dancing like crazy with Bev, he even tried to twerk but he failed terribly. At least everyone got a good laugh out of it. He was thirsty and realized Eddie had never joined in so he left the crowd to find the cute boy. He saw Eddie talking to a really attractive guy but Eddie's back was to him so he couldn't see Eddie's face. He walked up to them to make sure Eddie was fine.

"Eds! You never came to dance!", Richie said a bit too loudly.

"Hey Rich, I was catching up with an old friend. Vic this is Richie, Richie, Vic." Eddie said feeling a bit bad he never returned to his friends.

"No worries! Just making sure everything was fine. I'll leave you two to your catching up", Richie said and smiled then waved as he walked off.

"He's cute, and totally likes you", Vic said grinning at Eddie.

Eddie felt a blush burning his face and ears.

"He's my friend, that's all", Eddie said with a wave of dismissal.

Vic laughed and was about to say something else but a customer asked for a drink so he had to go back to work.

"Sorry, work calls. Text me sometime ok?" Vic said as he got up to get back to work. Eddie nodded and downed the rest of his drink he had forgotten about, left a five dollar tip, and then started walking back towards the dance floor.

The dance floor was filled with people dancing and jumping around, you could feel the bass in your chest and everyone was laughing and having a good time. He found his group and started to dance with them.

"Eddie! You finally made it!" Bill shouted.

Eddie smiled and started to dance with Bill. Stan had left to get a drink and came back, then Ben did the same. Mike ran to the bathroom and then Bill decided he needed to go as well. For a while someone would leave for a drink or bathroom break but Eddie barely noticed. He danced with everyone in the group, except for Richie. He was so nervous, Richie looked amazing dancing and not having a care in the world. At one point Richie left to get a few shots and came back louder and very tipsy. He made a bee line for Eddie and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy from behind and swayed to the music. Eddie laughed and felt so alive that he welcomed the touch and swayed along with Richie. He was happy and having fun. Maybe he wasn't such a fucked up person anymore. Maybe he was getting better. The thought excited him and he couldn't wait to tell his therapist all about this night at the club.

Stan and Bill finally started to dance with each other once they both had some liquid courage and Ben had started dancing with Bev. Mike was dancing with Bill and Stan until the sexy bartender Vic clocked out of work and found Mike and started to dance with him. He had a shorter shift that night and he had been eyeing Mike all night which was definitely more than ok with Mike. A few guys around them gawked in jealousy, Vic was apparently quite the hot commodity that a lot of customers wanted to get a piece of but he never went for anyone, that is until he laid eyes on Mike.

Eddie was laughing and had turned around in Richie's arms and wrapped his arms around Richie's waist. Richie was more than happy for this closeness and he smiled down at Eddie. The look on his face was pure adoration and Eddie knew he was blushing. He kept looking into Richie's eyes and neither of them wanted to break eye contact. Richie leaned his head down a little, his face mere inches from Eddie's. Eddie felt his breathing hitch and his heart start pounding. He was extremely aware that he wanted to kiss Richie. He was extremely aware of the hot breath he felt on his face. He was also extremely aware of the sirens going off in his mind so he dropped his arms and took a step back. He felt so bad but he felt Richie's arms drop from him and then fingers pulling his chin up. Once he was looking at Richie he teared up a little.

"I'm s-sorry", Eddie stuttered.

Richie's face wasn't sad or angry, it was comforting. He pulled Eddie in and wrapped his arms around him and held him.

"No, no no. Shh, its ok. I'm sorry. I got carried away. You are perfectly fine", Richie said into Eddie's hair. He kissed the top of Eddie's head and just held the smaller boy. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie again and held him tightly. He had been doing so well and now he took two steps back.

His friends were all unaware of the moment Richie and Eddie were having, Bill and Stan were making out while dancing, Bev was dancing with Ben in a way that made Ben's whole body blush, and Mike and Vic were very handsy as they danced together. Eddie longed for normalcy and the ability to do everything his friends were doing.

"Hey Rich, I'm gonna run to the bathroom, I'll be right back", he said into Richie's ear so he could be heard, Richie nodded and let go of Eddie.

Thankfully the bathrooms were close to the bar he had gotten his drink from and he walked in and only a few people were in there. He was thankful the bathrooms were clean and once he finished up he started washing his hands. A guy was standing with his back to the wall scrolling through his phone. He had black hair that went down to his shoulders, pale skin, taller than Richie which was saying a lot, and he wore all black, black shirt, black pants, black jacket, and even solid black shoes.

"Hey cutie, you ok?", the guy in all black asked Eddie.

Eddie had been rubbing his head, he had a headache and he had hoped the small bathroom break would help.

"I'm fine, just have a headache", he replied.

"Shit, here, these will help, they help me when I get headaches", the guy said as held out two pills.

Eddie smiled and took them. "Thanks", he said and dry swallowed them.

"I'm Patrick.", the guy in all black said.

"I'm Eddie, do you work here?" he asked.

Patrick smirked. "Something like that", he replied.

Eddie felt a little uneasy so he decided to head back to his friends but he started to feel a little dizzy. He swayed and grabbed the wall to keep from falling. His vision got darker and fuzzy.

"You ok?" Patrick asked as he grabbed Eddie's arm to try to help support him.

"Yeah, yeah, I just feel a little dizzy. I think this headache might be turning into a migraine", Eddie said as he felt himself get heavy and all he wanted to do was lay down. He didn't normally feel this way with a migraine, he figured it must be a really bad one coming on. He could barely hold himself up anymore.

"I'll take you somewhere you can lay down", Patrick offered and started walking Eddie out of the bathroom and down a hall.

The hallway was dark and Eddie tried walking but his legs were like jelly. Patrick had his arm around Eddie holding him up. He needed to ask for his friends but he couldn't speak. Patrick led him to an open door. There were several chairs and a couch, most likely for people to drink and hang out where they could hear each other talk. Eddie was laid down on the couch.

"My friends are dancing", he mumbled, hoping he was loud enough to be heard.

Patrick ignored him as he closed the door and then climbed on top of Eddie.

"Don't worry. I'm your friend now and I'll take good care of you", Patrick rubbed Eddie's cheek as he spoke. The words hit Eddie and that's when he realized with his foggy mind, he had been drugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliffhanger. I'm sorry but also felt it was a good stopping point for the chapter. Let me know what you think, leave kudos, comments, and critiques. Your thoughts on my writing fuel me and give me life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The realization that Eddie had been drugged pressed heavily on his chest. His brain was so fuzzy but he needed to try to figure out how to get away. Patrick had a sick look on his face, looking down at Eddie like he enjoyed seeing fear in Eddie's eyes. Should he scream? Try to hit Patrick? Should he cry? He decided to try to hit. That unfortunately did not go well. His movement was slower and Patrick knew exactly what Eddie was trying to do. He grabbed both of Eddie's wrists and pinned them down over his head and squeezed hard.
> 
> "Nice try sweet cheeks", Patrick whispered as he lowered himself so he was mere inches from Eddie's face. He caressed Eddie's cheek with his other hand, they felt rough and dry. His breath smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. A faint hint of body spray that was mostly worn by douche bags also caught Eddie's attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning  
> This starts off with Patrick's assault attempt. It doesn't go very far, only Eddie's shirt is removed.

**Chapter 12**

The realization that Eddie had been drugged pressed heavily on his chest. His brain was so fuzzy but he needed to try to figure out how to get away. Patrick had a sick look on his face, looking down at Eddie like he enjoyed seeing fear in Eddie's eyes. Should he scream? Try to hit Patrick? Should he cry? He decided to try to hit. That unfortunately did not go well. His movement was slower and Patrick knew exactly what Eddie was trying to do. He grabbed both of Eddie's wrists and pinned them down over his head and squeezed hard.

"Nice try sweet cheeks", Patrick whispered as he lowered himself so he was mere inches from Eddie's face. He caressed Eddie's cheek with his other hand, they felt rough and dry. His breath smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. A faint hint of body spray that was mostly worn by douche bags also caught Eddie's attention.

Eddie struggled underneath him but he was too weak with the drugs in his system, everything felt heavier, of course it didn't help he had someone straddling him. He made the mistake of looking into Patrick's eyes, they looked crazy, almost as if he felt pure joy in attacking and hurting someone. As if to confirm these suspicions, Patrick bit Eddie's neck, hard, sucked to make sure to leave a mark, and bit once more for good measure, causing a squeak to come out of Eddie's mouth. He didn't want to give the man the satisfaction in knowing he had hurt Eddie but that damn squeak made Patrick chuckle. Eddie felt dirty, he didn't want this, but he felt powerless. He couldn't stop it but he had to keep his cool, he had to stay levelheaded and not panic.

"What's this?" Patrick asked and started pushing Eddie's sleeves up, he had noticed some of the scars. The look on Patrick's face would forever be seared into Eddie's mind. He looked turned on by Eddie's scars. Patrick let go of Eddie's arms and swiftly pulled his sweater off. Eddie tried to cover his chest with his arms, he hated being exposed. Patrick slowly rubbed his fingers over Eddie's arms, feeling the scars and Eddie felt so angry. This felt nothing like when Richie did it, this felt wrong, this felt cruel. When Richie had done it, it was out of reassurance and care, what Patrick was doing almost felt like he had some scar fetish, gross. 

"Wow, I picked a good little twink, you don't even know how sexy those scars are. Wait until I give you some more", Patrick said as he pulled out his pocket knife. The knife glittered in the light and he grabbed Eddie's arms again to pin down over his head again.

"Stop!" Eddie yelled. He finally got his mouth to work with his mind.

Patrick's laugh sounded evil. He put the knife to Eddie's chest, it was cold and Eddie froze. He could feel Patrick's erection and it made him nauseous. Patrick moved the knife around slowly and with such a light press that it almost tickled. The thoughts in Patrick's head were sick, he imagined so many different scenarios, so many things he could do to the weak boy. He took his time, he lived for these moments. He got aroused from seeing his prey struggle and cry for help. He started to slowly grind against Eddie, he knew he could make the smaller boy hard, basic body reactions but what really got him off was the shame he would see when it would happen. How his victim would fall apart when they realized their body was betraying them. It was delicious and just as he started feeling Eddie's dick start to harden, that was when Patrick noticed what at first looked like a birth mark, but as he touched it, he realized it was from a burn.

"Were you fucking branded?" he asked Eddie confused and halted his grinding.

Eddie looked away. He never wanted anyone to see it. Bill didn't even know about it. He usually used concealer to hide it if he thought Bill might see or if he ended up at the doctor's office. That was his one dirty little secret and now someone took that from him.

"What the fuck?! Who fucking did this to you? And is that an F? What does that mean?" Patrick angrily asked.

The tone of his assailant's voice was bewildering. Why did he sound angry? Why would that make him mad? Eddie saw genuine anger in Patrick's eyes and it scared him. 

"Conversion therapy. F for fag", Eddie spit out and his cheeks began to burn.

He felt Patrick stiffen. The knife was slowly pulled away. His eyes were wide and he had a far away look, like he was remembering something.

Richie was starting to get worried, Eddie had been gone for too long. He made his way through the crowd, a couple girls tried stopping him but he waved them off, finally getting off the dance floor and walked into the bathroom. He called Eddie's name, looked around, and once he made sure Eddie wasn't there he left and walked around the bars and dance floor and still no sign of the smaller boy. He got scared, he was supposed to watch after Eddie and protect him. He was supposed to make sure Eddie had nothing but the best time of his life. Realizing he needed help, Richie ran to the others and he quickly got everyone's attention. Flailing around is good for catching your friend's attention.

"Eddie went to the bathroom and he has been gone for too long, I went to check on him and he wasn't there, I can't find him, I searched the bars and checked the rest of the dance floor but I don't see him", Richie explained.

The rest of them immediately became worried, especially Bill.

"Maybe he went to one of the chill rooms", Vic suggested.

"Take us to th-them, w-we need to check th-them all!" Bill yelled.

Vic led the way to the hallway and they began opening doors and looking inside and asking the few people they saw if they had seen their friend.

Patrick got off of Eddie and backed up some. Eddie sat up and looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"I may be a monster but I'm not that much of a monster. You've been through enough. From one survivor to another, take these, you'll black out and forget this encounter ever happened", Patrick held out two more pills but they looked a bit different. Eddie took them and looked up. He was so confused and didn't trust it. He was already drugged once, would more kill him? Also survivor? Had Patrick been to a conversion therapy camp as well? What the hell was going on?

"Fucking take it before I change my mind!" Patrick yelled pulling Eddie out of his thoughts.

Eddie dry swallowed the pills reluctantly. Patrick looked uncomfortable and his fingers twitched. His plan did not go the way he had intended and it pissed him off. He didn't even know why he was even being this nice. He shouldn't be this soft, he had intended on doing horrible things to Eddie, but after seeing that brand, he couldn't bring himself to do it and that made him angry. Eddie began to feel the effects after a few minutes, he felt even more heavy, he felt scared, hot, confused, he could barely keep his eyes open and he swayed a bit.

"I better never see you again, next time I won't be so kind", Patrick growled before opening the door and darting out and slamming the door behind him.

Eddie laid down on the couch and turned on his side, his arms covering his chest and his hands covering his face. He began to cry, not understanding what just happened, feeling so self conscious and now he felt cold but he was sweating. What the fuck was he given? Was he going to OD? Was he dying right now?

A loud sound at the door then a thud startled Eddie, had he fallen asleep? How long had it been?

"Ow! Fuck! That fucking hurt!", Eddie heard someone yell outside the door.

"What did you think was gonna happen dumbass? You aren't Jackie Chan, You can't just try to karate kick a door open. Did you even try the doorknob?" another voice spoke. It almost sounded like Stan.

The doorknob slowly turned and then the door was opening.

"Oh", a voice that really sounded like Richie's spoke.

Richie was standing there in the doorway and once he saw Eddie he ran to him as did the others. He couldn't believe the state Eddie was in. He wanted to kill whoever did this. He was ready to punch someone in the face but no one else was in the room. Bill reached out to touch Eddie but stopped as Eddie began to yell.

"Don't fucking touch me!"

Bill yanked his hand back as if he had been burned. They took in Eddie's appearance. His sweater was off and on the floor, he was crying, and curled into a ball. Someone had laid hands on their friend.

"Eddie, what happened?" Richie asked.

Everyone was terrified and unsure of how to handle the situation. Eddie felt like he was floating and he wondered if he was dreaming. He was trying so hard to not fall asleep and he felt so many eyes on him. He had to stay awake.

"He's been drugged, I've seen people like this before", Vic said softly.

Everyone gasped and felt anger to whoever harmed their friend. Vic went to a mini fridge in the corner of the room and grabbed a water bottle to give to Eddie.

"Eddie, can you sit up? I can help you if you need", Bev asked.

When Eddie felt her touch he flinched but did his best to try to sit up. Everyone noticed the bite mark on Eddie's neck, that made Richie's blood boil. Bev was holding him up and Stan picked up Eddie's sweater and held it out for Bev to take. She helped Eddie put it back on then took the water bottle from Vic and opened it. She held it out to Eddie and he took it and began to drink. When did he get so thirsty? He drank over half the bottle before stopping to take a breath. Bev took the bottle and put the lid back on. Ben disappeared and ten minutes later returned with a cup of black coffee.

"Here Eddie, maybe it will help sober you up, I know this helps when I'm drunk", Ben said as he held out the coffee cup.

Eddie smiled faintly and took it and started to sip on it. It helped him feel less freaked out, warm drinks always helped him relax. Richie was pacing back and forth, Bill was fidgeting, and Bev kept her arm around Eddie to make sure he didn't fall over. No one knew what to say and no one wanted to upset Eddie so they stayed silent.

About an hour later, everyone had ended up sitting down, except for Richie. He kept pacing. He kept blaming himself. He should have went with Eddie to the bathroom. He should have started looking for his friend sooner. He should have tried karate kicking all the doors down, ok maybe not the last one, his ass still hurt from falling on it. He promised to protect Eddie and then something terrible happened to him and he felt so guilty. He failed. He wanted to cry but he wouldn't let himself, not in front of everyone.

"Sorry to have scared y'all", Eddie said softly.

The rest of the group instantly looked at him and asked what happened and if he was alright so Eddie explained everything that happened to the best of his memory, things were fuzzy, he couldn't remember Patrick's name or how he got in the room they were all in now. He tried describing the pills to Richie's request, and Stan wanted to know what the guy looked like. Ben suggested calling the police but Eddie quickly shot that down. He was scared of the police, or anyone with authority for that matter and he was not about to go through being blamed for what happened or not taken seriously. Male victims of assault were rarely taken seriously or even believed.

"Are you th-that dumb?! You never take pills, or anything for th-that matter, from strangers!" Bill yelled and earned a glare from everyone in the room except Eddie who just looked down.

Bill's angry face softened and he said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said th-that. You aren't dumb. I'm just so angry at w-who did this to you and also w-worried". He knew it wasn't an excuse but he hoped Eddie would forgive him for his harsh words.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault." Eddie whimpered.

Everyone rushed to the couch and formed a group hug around Eddie, not too tight so he wouldn't feel suffocated. They all assured him that it was not his fault at all. They wanted to get him home soon but they had walked and they weren't about to make Eddie walk all the way home.

"I can call an uber for everyone", Vic offered.

"That is so kind of you but that would be so expensive", Mike said sweetly.

The group argued a bit until Richie shouted, "I'll give Eddie a piggyback ride, its free and he doesn't have to walk, there all settled".

It wasn't a bad idea, free was always good for college students and Richie was strong enough, he hoped anyway. With that, Richie lowered himself in front of Eddie who was still on the couch Bev helping him scoot to the edge and Eddie shyly wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and wrapped his legs around Richie's torso. He felt Richie's hands on his thighs to hold him in place and he felt his cheeks blush so he buried his face into Richie's neck so no one could see. His breath tickled Richie's neck and Richie couldn't believe how cute he was being. Eddie could smell the sweet smell of Richie's shampoo, it smelled of Eucalyptus and it was intoxicating. He hoped Richie didn't realize he was smelling his hair. 

The group headed to the exit and they all said their goodbyes to Vic, Mike being last to say goodbye. Vic handed him a paper with his number on it which caused Mike to smile shyly.

"Text me sometime, I know this is like the worst timing but I didn't want to risk not seeing you again", Vic said then kissed Mike's cheek, gave him a wink, then walked away.

The cool air felt amazing to everyone and they walked and had idle chit chat. Eddie had fallen asleep about three minutes in and he softly snored against Richie's neck. Richie found it extremely cute and he again thought this cute guy was going to be the death of him. Richie had ended up lagging behind a bit, Stan stopped walking to let Richie catch up and they walked beside each other.

"You ok? Its not your fault", Stan stated like it was so simple.

Richie shrugged, he hated talking about feelings and shit, especially when he was angry. Stan didn't say another word, he knew his best friend would talk when or if he was ready. He never pushed unless he felt Richie was spiraling.

Bill and Richie, with Eddie still on his back, walked into Bill and Eddie's dorm room. Bill grabbed his night clothes and toothbrush and a few other things for his nightly routine.

"I'll be right back, can you stay w-with him until I get back?" Bill asked. Richie nodded and Bill walked out.

Richie sat on Eddie's bed and shook himself a little.

"Hey Eds, time to wake up", Richie said softly causing Eddie to start waking up.

He slid off of Richie and looked around, confused at first.

"Can you hand me some sleep shorts and a t-shirt from my top drawer?" Eddie asked sounding sleepy.

Richie stood and went to the small dresser and opened the top drawer. He couldn't believe how neat and tidy it was, he grabbed the first things he found and tossed them at Eddie. They landed on his head and he giggled. Richie felt a wave of relief when he heard Eddie giggle.

"Thanks, could you turn around?" Eddie asked as his cheeks began to flush pink.

Richie being Richie, made a dramatic spin and covered his eyes for good measure. Eddie shook his head and started to strip. He kept looking back at Richie, making sure there was no peeking, and once he was dressed for bed he gave the all clear for Richie to turn back around. Richie however was not prepared for the sight he saw. Eddie's t-shirt was oversized and hung off one of his shoulders a pale purple color and was so long you couldn't see his white shorts, which were quite short.

"Cool, cool, cool", Richie said quickly. His heart was racing and he tried looking at anything and everywhere else except Eddie.

"Afraid to look at me Tozier?" Eddie asked with a smirk.

Richie choked on the air he was breathing in and blushed furiously. He rubbed the back of his neck and shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"You should probably get some sleep", Richie's voice cracked at those words and Eddie giggled.

Eddie walked slowly to Richie and took both of Richie hands into his own and never broke eye contact the entire time. He had to look up as he got closer and those big brown doe eyes were staring right up at Richie.

"You can lay next to me until Bill gets back if you want", Eddie said flirtatiously.

Richie's jaw almost hit the floor. He had no idea where this was coming from, he wondered if the drugs in Eddie's system was to blame. He wouldn't take advantage of that. He was a gentleman after all. Sort of.

"I uh can sit on your bed while you lay down", Richie said as he steered Eddie to his bed.

Eddie wasn't giving up though, Richie sat and Eddie stayed standing, still gazing in Richie's eyes. He climbed on Richie and straddled him and wrapped his arms around Richie's neck. He smiled an innocent smile but he knew what he was doing, he felt Richie's body reacting to the contact of their crotches up against each other. Richie took a deep breath and kept his hands on the bed.

"Eddie, I can't. You aren't in the right head space. You'll feel regret in the morning and I can't let that happen, I care too much about you", he said willing his dick to stop getting harder.

Eddie, being the little shit he is, lifted himself up a little just to grind back down against Richie, causing an obscene moan to leave Richie's mouth.

"I know what I'm doing", Eddie whispered as he got closer to Richie's face, mere inches apart, "Now kiss me".

Richie felt embarrassed at the sound that came from his mouth, but as Eddie almost closed the gap to their lips Richie's hand flew up in between. Eddie stopped and gave Richie a funny look.

"I can't. I won't take advantage of you", Richie slowly started to push Eddie off him and stood up and adjusted himself. Eddie wasn't happy and felt a little embarrassed but he got into bed but stayed sitting up. Richie sat back down, turned a little so he could face Eddie.

"Please please please don't think I don't want this, I do, I really fucking do, but not now", Richie said softly. He rubbed his thumb on Eddie's cheek softly and pressed a gentle kiss to Eddie's forehead.

The sweet smile from Eddie made Richie's heart skip a beat. Eddie laid down but grabbed Richie's arm to pull him down with him. Richie slid his shoes off and stayed above the covers and held Eddie. He figured spooning would be alright, well alright for Eddie, Richie's dick was not happy at the lack of friction from Eddie's ass but Richie ignored it. They both drifted off to sleep before Bill got back.

Bill walked into his room and saw his roommate and friend passed out on Eddie's bed. He chuckled and got out his phone to take a photo. He made a group chat with everyone in it and sent the photo.

**Bill:** _Image_

**Bill: These two passed tf out, look how cute they are.**

**Bev: OH MY GOD! THEY ARE TOO CUTE!**

**Mike: Aww, that's adorable**

**Stan: I guess that means I'm sleeping alone tonight...**

**Ben: That's precious!**

Bill smiled and shut the lights off and made his way to his bed. He put his phone on the charger and laid down and fell asleep pretty quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did y'all think? I hope the sweet stuff towards the end helped with the hard starting off. Please comment and leave kudos so I know if I'm doing a good job, I also love hearing people's theories on what is going to happen, and thoughts and feelings. Thank you for reading and I love all y'all!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thankfully he didn't have to worry about it too much since Eddie began to stir. Richie tried to stay still but Eddie opened his eyes and turned over.
> 
> "Richie? Why are you in my bed?" he asked confused.
> 
> "Because somebody pulled me into bed with him", Richie said with a smile.
> 
> Eddie's cheeks blushed. He didn't remember that but oh well, it was a nice way to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has a bit of backstory.
> 
> Trigger warning  
> It does go into Eddie's eating disorder towards the end.
> 
> This is in no way glorifying EDs.

**Chapter 13**

Richie awoke to holding Eddie, exactly how he was as they fell asleep. He hadn't meant to stay all night but oh well, he didn't really mind. He pulled his phone out of his pocket carefully, so he wouldn't wake the sleeping boy next to him and he saw the flashing notification light telling him he had received some messages. He opened his phone and saw all the messages in the group chat Bill had made and added him to. The photo Bill had sent warmed his heart. It was honestly really cute but he still felt a blush creep up his neck. He wasn't the biggest fan of others seeing him vulnerable so he, being the person he is decided to joke about it.

**Richie: Game on Billiam, wait until this group chat has a photo of you and Staniel cuddling.**

Richie pulled up the camera on his phone and put it in front of Eddie's face, sweet, innocent sleeping Eddie, it was too cute to pass up, and Richie behind him and smiling at the camera. This photo would be kept forever, and only for his eyes. Of course he had to take one to send in the group chat so he took one in the same position but he was flipping off the camera with the hand that was attached to the arm currently under Eddie's neck.

**Richie:** _Image_

**Richie: There, much better**

Satisfied with his addition to the group chat, he opened up the conversation with just Stan.

**Richie: I'm so sorry. I fell asleep in Eddie's bed, I didn't mean to not come back to our room**

**Staniel: It's fine. I wasn't upset. At least everyone got to see the super soft side of you :-P**

**Richie: Ugh, tell Bill to suck a fuck**

**Staniel: Please tell me Richie, how does one suck a fuck?**

**Richie: For realz though, I think I'm falling for this kid... I don't know what to do**

**Staniel: Its pretty obvious, to like everyone, except maybe Eddie.**

**Richie: Stan, please don't tell anyone this but last night, Eddie came on to me, I guess the drugs made him loopy or something but he literally straddled me and tried to kiss me!**

**Staniel: what????**

**Richie: I stopped him of course, as much as I really didn't want to, fuck that kid can grind**

**Staniel: Eww, beep beep Richie**

**Richie: I'm serious! What does that mean?**

**Staniel: He likes you and the drugs made it to where he wasn't afraid to show it. I mean come on, you can't be that oblivious.**

**Richie: He doesn't like me. The drugs just made him horny**

**Staniel: Eww again, either way, good job for not giving in, I'm sure that was hard**

**Richie: Yeah it was! ;-)**

**Staniel: Goodbye** ****

**Richie: Wait!**

**Staniel: What?**

**Richie: I love you**

**Staniel: Love you too Rich.**

Richie put his phone back into his pocket, he was content to lay there all day, Eddie could sleep the day away and Richie would just watch him. Wait is that creepy? Scratch that, Richie will just lay there and not stare at the cute boy in his arms. Thankfully he didn't have to worry about it too much since Eddie began to stir. Richie tried to stay still but Eddie opened his eyes and turned over.

"Richie? Why are you in my bed?" he asked confused.

"Because somebody pulled me into bed with him", Richie said with a smile.

Eddie's cheeks blushed. He didn't remember that but oh well, it was a nice way to wake up. He looked at Richie's face, he was pretty close, he saw the freckles that peppered Richie's face, he looked into his eyes, those pretty eyes that was full of... something, he wasn't sure what, but he liked it, almost like a caring emotion, he honestly never saw it before and it confused him but he still loved it. Richie's glasses magnified his eyes and Eddie thought anime eyes in real life, the thought almost made him giggle.

"How did you sleep?", Richie asked.

Eddie tried to remember, he honestly didn't know. He felt groggy but in a weird way.

"I don't know", he answered softly.

Richie and Eddie stared at each other for a few minutes until the door opened. Bill walked in holding a drink tray with four drinks, Stan followed closely behind, holding a paper bag. The smell hit Richie's nose and he knew it was food.

"Breakfast is served", Bill announced.

Richie and Eddie sat up and Stan handed out breakfast sandwiches while Bill handed out the coffee. They ate in silence, Eddie just picked at the biscuit but drank the coffee, it was a welcome warmth. Everyone else ate and Stan noticed Eddie wasn't.

"You ok Eddie? Not hungry?" Stan asked.

Eddie looked up and saw everyone looking at him. Yes, he was hungry but damn, this food was high in calories fast food and he couldn't bring himself to eat it. It smelled amazing, a sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit, something his mother would have never allowed him to eat growing up.

"Coffee is usually what I have for breakfast, I don't eat in the mornings", he replied, hoping that answer would suffice.

Stan nodded and that was the end of that. Bill was the only one who really knew that Eddie still wasn't eating like he should, he mentioned the eating disorder when he had explained why Eddie panicked the day they all met but he didn't say it was still an on going issue. He knew Eddie was touchy about it and still didn't believe it was really a problem.

"Come on Eds, its freaking awesome, great hangover cure", Richie said with his mouth full and nudged his shoulder against Eddie's.

Eddie looked down at his food, maybe one bite couldn't hurt. He held it up to his mouth, fuck it smelled good, only one bite, he could handle that, then if needed he'd break it apart to make it look like less was there. He took a small bite and his mouth watered as the flavor hit his tongue. It was in fact really tasty and now he wished he hadn't tried it because it only made him want more but he already told himself only one bite and he was going to stick to it.

"Yeah, its good", Eddie said after he finished chewing.

Bill looked shocked, he couldn't believe Richie actually got him to take a bite of food. He would have to recruit him in helping Eddie eat more.

Bill remembered when he first noticed Eddie wasn't eating. At first he thought it was because it was food Eddie had never been allowed to eat and he had to get used to being able to eat anything he wanted, but after a month of no change he then thought it was from all the trauma and he just needed time to get his appetite back. After another month with still no change he confronted Eddie. Of course his friend dismissed Bill's concerns, he simply told Bill he wasn't hungry, he barely had any food at conversion therapy and he was used to it. He tried to reassure Bill he was in fact fine.

Two more months went by before Bill heard Eddie crying in the bathroom. He knocked on the door and Eddie stifled his cries. Bill knocked again and called out and finally Eddie unlocked the door and opened it. His face was red and tear-stained, he kept sniffling and wiping his face with his sleeve. Bill stepped in the bathroom and shut the door then pulled Eddie into a long hug. He saw the scale on the ground and it read ninety pounds.

"Oh Eddie! We need to get you help", he said softly but that only made Eddie pull away.

"No! I've _gained_ weight! I was at eighty five and since I've been here I've gained five pounds!"

Bill looked confused and then it sunk in, Eddie wasn't crying because he was sickly underweight, he was crying because he gained weight!

"Eddie, that's a good thing, that means you are getting better, they starved you", Bill tried to reassure.

"No! I starved myself too. I wouldn't eat when they gave me food. If I did eat, they would make me throw it up during my sessions of showing me gay porn when my body would react to it. When I stopped eating, the forced puking stopped because there was nothing to come out and it hurt less", Eddie explained.

Bill looked at Eddie with such sadness, he felt pain he never thought he would feel. He knew Eddie needed help, eating disorders were very serious.

"Eddie, we gotta take you to the doctor, they can help you fix this and get better".

Eddie shook his head and bolted out of the bathroom and slammed his room door shut. He rarely stayed in there, only when he wanted to be alone since he slept in Bill's bed. That night Bill told his parents. He felt guilty because he knew Eddie would be angry but the life of his best friend came first. Eddie was taken to the doctor, he was very angry about it and he was put into a program for people with eating disorders. It helped, he began to eat a little, not as much as he should but it helped him get to a hundred pounds, much to Eddie's disappointment, but he looked better. Bill always told him how much healthier he looked until Eddie himself began to believe it. He made his new goal to stay at a hundred pounds. It wasn't the best goal, but it was definitely better than eighty five.

Eddie started running which helped him get toned, he was still very thin but he gained some muscle and felt better. He forgave Bill eventually but before he had every night was awkward because he still couldn't sleep alone but he wasn't speaking to Bill but Bill still held him at night and Eddie let him. This was their nightly routine for weeks. Once Eddie forgave him and started speaking to him again things were better. Bill even joined him on runs sometimes, he was awful at it but they had fun together and it meant a lot to Eddie that he was trying.

Bill shook his head, he must have been in that memory for a while because everyone was staring at him.

"W-what?" he stuttered.

The rest of the guys laughed which caused Bill to smile.

"I asked you why the fuck you were being creepy and taking photos of Richie and I sleeping", Eddie said.

Eddie had finally taken his phone out and saw the group chat. It made him smile, especially Richie's addition to it. He saved both photos but no one had to know that. He didn't know but Richie actually did see him save the photos but Richie didn't say anything.

"Sorry, I zoned out I guess. Also I had to, I rarely get good shit to use against you", Bill explained.

Eddie stuck his tongue out at Bill which made Richie laugh that glorious sounding laugh and Stan just shook his head. Bill flipped Eddie off and Eddie grinned. This was nice, a nice morning of relaxing and hanging out with friends. Eddie rubbed his neck and that's when he felt pain, his fingers touched the bite mark and his face went pale. Everyone must have noticed because it got eerily quiet.

"Why the fuck do I have a bite mark on my neck?!" Eddie asked in a higher pitch than normal.

Eddie was beginning to panic. What happened? This is so unsanitary. Will it get infected? Did it break skin? He pulled out his phone and opened the camera to selfie mode and looked at the mark. It was pink and purple, You could see faint teeth marks, the bruising around it made it look like a hickey. That's when Eddie froze and dropped his phone. Did he have a hickey? And by who?

The rest looked at each other, so much for a nice relaxing morning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you have it. How will things turn out? I hope you enjoyed and if you want to talk to me my tumblr is fuji09  
> Be sure to leave me comments, tell me what you like, dislike, your theories and what you hope does or doesn't happen. I'd love to read it all! Thank you for reading! I appreciate all the comments and kudos I have received.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry", Eddie whispered.
> 
> Richie looked at the smaller boy confused. Why was he sorry? He did nothing wrong. Thoughts of victim blaming and shaming flowed through his mind and he went to console his friend and assure him there was no reason to apologize when Eddie spoke again.
> 
> "I remember what I did and said to you, last night... I'm really sorry. I don't know why I acted like that. I hope I didn't ruin our friendship".
> 
> Richie tightened his arm around Eddie, doing his best to hug with only one arm.
> 
> "You were drugged. Like way too fucking much, I wouldn't have been shocked if you went streaking and screaming that God is a lie and Elvis isn't really dead", Richie chuckled at his own silliness and caused a smile to creep on Eddie's face which turned into a fit of giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, another chapter.  
> Trigger warning  
> There is weed smoked in this chapter.

**Chapter 14**

Eddie felt like he couldn't breathe. He was trembling and tears were threatening to fall. Bill was explaining to him what had happened last night, the small amount he knew, and Eddie could only remember bits and pieces. He tried so hard to remember, he tried to bring the memory back but everything was so hazy. He remembered everything until he was in the bathroom, that's where it got spotty. He had spoken to someone, someone that at first kind of reminded him of Richie, he had a headache and the guy had given him pills for it. Eddie knows he was drugged and taken to a room but he can't remember how he got there.

He remembers feeling scared, he remembers feeling heavy and slow. He remembers pain in his neck, maybe that's when he was bit, then he remembers screaming "no". His sweater was pulled off and he felt exposed. After that he just remembers smells and feelings. Something cold on his bare chest, metal... a knife! He shuttered as he remembers there was a knife grazing his skin. He remembers feeling guilt and confusion but doesn't know why. He doesn't remember when his assailant left or when his friends got there, things got even more hazy and he thinks there was the scent and taste of coffee which Bill confirms had been given to him to try to help sober him up.

Eddie can't remember anything after that so Bill fills in the huge gap that has been blacked out of Eddie's memory. Richie had carried him back to their dorms, and when Bill got back in the room, Richie and Eddie both were passed out. Richie blushes as the memory of Eddie coming on to him floods his mind, he was glad Eddie didn't remember that, he had hoped that it would never have to be spoken of.

"I want to be alone", Eddie says softly after a few minutes of silence. Bill looks at his best friend with such a pained look that Eddie almost felt guilty for the request.

Stan nodded and got up and walked out of the room. Richie hesitated and tried to think of something to say but when no words could be found he also walked out with Bill following. Once the door was closed Eddie let the tears fall and he laid down, covering himself with his blankets. He knew it was all his fault, who takes pills from strangers? He was stupid and knew he deserved it. His crying turned into full on sobbing and he curled into the smallest ball he could and wished he could just disappear.

Stan, Richie, and Bill had ended up in Stan and Richie's dorm room and no one said a word. What could be said? Everyone at a loss for words and trying to figure out how to fix everything, made the air tense and awkward. Richie began to pace and Stan became increasingly annoyed by it the more time went on. Bill stared at the ceiling, he was angry at himself for not staying by Eddie the entire night. He was angry that someone had the audacity to harm his brother. Bill never referred to Eddie as his brother around Eddie but to everyone else and in his own head, that's what he called the smaller boy. He knew they were brothers, even if Eddie didn't see it that way, he always told other people they were "like brothers" and yeah it would hurt Bill a little but he understood, Eddie was terrified of family and anything to do with it. He only knew pain when it came to family. He couldn't associate Bill and his parents as the very thing that had caused him so much harm.

"Richie, sit, you need to try to calm down, being this wound up isn't going to help anything", Stan said without even glancing at Richie.

Richie just glared but sat on the floor anyway, picking at the clothing that had been tossed carelessly on the floor, the imaginary lint he was picking off was incredibly fascinating. Focusing was always hard for Richie, especially the days he didn't take his ADHD medication. His foot was tapping the floor and he was about go crazy when Stan threw a pill bottle at him, it had hit him on the head, not hard enough to hurt, then fell in his lap.

"Take your fucking meds for fucks sake!" Stan angrily said, his voiced raised. He didn't mean to say it quite so rudely, in fact as soon as the words left his mouth he regretted it and felt terrible. He knew Richie was sensitive about being on medication and not being able to control his body constantly needing to move. Before Stan could apologize Richie stood up and threw the pill bottle back at Stan, it missed Stan and hit the wall. Richie gave Stan the finger and left their room and slammed the door behind him.

"Shit", Stan muttered.

Bill had watched the whole thing and was very confused.

"W-what just happened?" Bill questioned.

Stan sighed and began to explain how Richie has ADHD and hated being on medication for it. He didn't understand what the big deal was, a lot of people have ADHD but Richie was almost ashamed of it. Stan never asked why and Richie never explained it.

**Stan: I'm so sorry Rich, I should not have done that.**

Richie left the message on read as he walked across the campus to find someone he really shouldn't be looking for. He was angry and his body felt like a live wire and he couldn't calm down. Yes, he probably should take the medication, that would really help the issue but to spite Stan, he went to get something much nicer in his opinion and something Stan hated.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Tozier. What the fuck do you want?"

Richie stopped and looked over to the wall of the library, there stood Henry Bowers, a mean asshole that unfortunately sold the best weed. His sandy hair was still styled into a mullet, come on dude, its like no longer the 80's, get a new look. His smile was mean but Richie walked closer to him.

"You know what I want Bowers, I have forty bucks", Richie answered and held out the money.

Henry quickly grabbed it and stuffed it in his holey jeans. He wore a black tank top with it and he honesty looked like a complete douche, which he was so it worked. He dug into his other pocket and pulled out a baggy to discreetly hand to Richie in case anyone was looking. Pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, he blew the smoke in Richie's face but Richie didn't even flinch.

"Need a fix as you do the walk of shame?" Henry asked with a knowing look.

Richie was still in his clothes from last night and it was obvious he had slept in them, his hair was a mess, more than usual, and he looked tired. Richie flipped Henry off and snatched the lighter out of his hands and ran as fast as he could. He heard Henry yelling behind him and he knew he had pissed off the only dealer he knew with decent weed. Oh well, Henry was an asshole. His next stop would be Bev's dorm room, she had rolling papers and he wanted to smoke now.

Thankfully Richie had a spare key since Bev wasn't there and he grabbed some rolling papers, he left some weed in exchange, usually how they did it, and walked out. When he finally found a spot to sit and smoke his phone dinged. He groaned but checked it anyway in case it was Bev.

**Eds: Rich, could you come back? I don't think I should be alone anymore...**

**Richie: Yes, be right** **there**

Richie ran back, all this running was more exercise than he got in a month so he was quite out of breath when he got back into Eddie's room. Eddie was staring at his wall and barely registered that Richie had walked in. Sitting his bag of weed, rolling papers, and stolen lighter on the foot of Eddie's bed, he took his shoes off and got into bed sitting next to Eddie under the covers. Eddie sat up and leaned against Richie. His face was puffy and red and he was still breathing a little fast but Richie still thought he was the cutest guy in the world. He wrapped his arm around Eddie and thankfully Eddie relaxed into the touch.

"I'm sorry", Eddie whispered.

Richie looked at the smaller boy confused. Why was he sorry? He did nothing wrong. Thoughts of victim blaming and shaming flowed through his mind and he went to console his friend and assure him there was no reason to apologize when Eddie spoke again.

"I remember what I did and said to you, last night... I'm really sorry. I don't know why I acted like that. I hope I didn't ruin our friendship".

Richie tightened his arm around Eddie, doing his best to hug with only one arm.

"You were drugged. Like way too fucking much, I wouldn't have been shocked if you went streaking and screaming that God is a lie and Elvis isn't really dead", Richie chuckled at his own silliness and caused a smile to creep on Eddie's face which turned into a fit of giggles.

Fuck Richie loved that sound. Those giggles melted away all the negative emotions he felt. He could die a happy man if he was struck dead at that moment.

"Hey, I scored some weed, lets light up and blaze it!" Richie said trying to do a lazy stoner voice but really just sounded incredibly silly.

Eddie's eyes widen and he looked around, almost like he was worried of being caught.

"I can't do that!" he whisper yelled.

"Sure you can Eds, its easy and honestly feels so amazing. It might help you feel better", Richie said already rolling up a joint.

Eddie was wary but he watched intensely as Richie moved the joint up to his lips and took a long drag, held it, then exhaled as smoked swirled in the air in front of them. Eddie's jaw dropped and he felt his dick twitch. _That was fucking hot, holy shit!_ His cheeks were flaming red and he slightly trembled. He never thought that way when he saw people smoke but when Richie did it, he felt _things_. Richie held out the joint to Eddie and slowly he reached for it. He tried to mimic what Richie did but he ended up having a coughing fit. Richie laughed and took the joint away before Eddie dropped it and patted Eddie on the back. Once his coughing had subsided Richie took another long drag with Eddie staring the entire time. Richie started feeling the effects and Eddie completely unaware he was feeling the effects as well, giggled and asked to try again.

"Go slower this time", Richie said softly and handed the joint over.

Eddie tried once again and this time he only coughed twice and he felt proud of himself. He smiled up at Richie and giggled.

"I did it!" he exclaimed.

Richie took the joint and inhaled once more and he really felt at ease, he was so glad he did this. Eddie looked happier and he felt better so all in all he was glad he spent forty bucks on what he considered the decent shit. Eddie took one last drag and Richie put out the joint, it was almost gone, not enough for another drag and set it on Eddie's bedside table. He felt himself melt into the bed and Eddie leaned on him, but not like before, he literally laid his head on Richie's chest and half his body was on Richie so Richie wrapped his arm around Eddie and it rested on Eddie's hip. The content sign that left Eddie's mouth sounded so sweet and made Richie's heart soar.

"I really like you Richie, spending time with you is fun and you always make me smile", Eddie cooed.

Richie stiffened and felt his heart in his throat. He knew Eddie only meant as a friend but fuck he wished he meant as more. He used his other hand that wasn't resting on Eddie's hip to run his fingers through Eddie's soft hair. The soft scent of coconut hit his nose and he swore Eddie was like a goddamn kitten almost purring at the touch.

"That feels nice", Eddie slurred.

How in the world was someone this adorable?! It was killing Richie. He wanted to just throw Eddie against the bed and pin him down and make even more beautiful noises escape his small body. He quickly shoved that thought away, he could not pop a boner now, at least until a soft moan slipped past Eddie's lips. Whelp, that did it, all the blood flowed south in Richie's body and he quickly tried to think of every single gross thing in the world. _Do NOT get hard, fucking dick, don't do it!_

Thankfully Richie's body seemed to be working with him and he felt himself grow calm. That was way too close for comfort.

"You know, I secretly think you're really cute", Eddie spoke after a few minutes of silence.

Richie felt a blush in his cheeks and realized Eddie may have smoked just a bit too much.

"Oh yeah?" he asked.

Eddie nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, like I love how much bigger you are than me, its like really hot, and your tattoos and piercings, holy fuck", Eddie giggled as he spoke.

Richie felt the blush on his cheeks reach the tips of his ears. This was not happening. He must be dreaming. Damn weed dreams, was this shit laced with something?

"Well I uh... thanks?"

Eddie turned around so he could face Richie. He put his hand on Richie's cheek and cocked his head to the side.

"You look confused", Eddie stated, His eyes were glazed over and red, he clearly looked high, a dopey smile on his face, and Richie wanted nothing more than to kiss Eddie.

"Fuck me", Richie whispered.

He couldn't believe what was happening, was Eddie admitting to having romantic feelings for him? It sure seemed like it and he honestly didn't know what to do. Also when did Eddie end up on top of Richie, straddling him? Eddie's arms were around Richie's neck and his fingers danced in Richie's curls.

The door swung open and there stood Bill and Stan in the doorway, they looked immediately confused at the position they found their roommates in.

"Uh, are w-we interrupting?" Bill asked.

Richie and Eddie both giggled and shook their heads.

"Oh my god they're high, I smell weed", Stan said.

"Guilty!" Richie yelled.

Bill closed the door behind them and stared at the both of them.

"Eddie, you never smoke. W-what th-the fuck!"

"Calm down Bill! I feel so much better", Eddie said without taking his eyes off Richie.

Bill and Stan sat on Bill's bed and slumped against the wall and shaking their heads at their idiot roommates. It was useless to get on to them now, they would have to wait until they weren't high anymore. So Bill grabbed some comics and handed a few to Stan and they both began to read as they basically became babysitters for their roommates. Eddie and Richie were constantly giggling, at one point they had a tickle fight, Richie won, and after about half an hour, Bill noticed how quiet it got. He looked over his comic and saw that Richie and Eddie had fallen asleep. Richie holding Eddie up to his chest and Eddie being the little spoon, as he so loved to do. Bill chuckled and shook his head and Stan looked to see what was so funny and he couldn't help but grin at the sight.

"They are in so much trouble when they wake up" Stan muttered.

"Agreed. W-we should ground th-them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I find I keep writing cuter and cuter reddie interactions, I can't help myself.  
> Let me know what y'all think, it seriously helps keep me motivated.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie's eyes fly open and he jumped up out of bed and screamed. He clutches himself and looks like a rabid dog that's cornered. His eyes were wide and he was shaking.
> 
> "Eddie! You were screaming in your sleep and shaking. You also scratched up your arm", Richie said as he walked towards Eddie slowly.
> 
> Eddie looked terrified and he collapsed to the floor sobbing. His hands covered his face and shook violently. Richie got down on the floor and pulled Eddie into his lap and wrapped his arms around the crying boy. Eddie shoved his hands into Richie's shirt and grabbed hold, his face against Richie's neck. They stayed there for about ten minutes, until Eddie's cries became softer and softer. Richie held him tight the entire time, even when his leg started to fall asleep he didn't budge. He whispered "shh" over and over, and kept letting Eddie know that he was safe, that he was ok, that Richie was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its a bit short but I'm really tired and feel like what I have wrote is mostly filler. I hope y'all enjoy it anyway.

**Chapter 15**

_Eddie awoke with a start, his heart was beating so fast it hurt, his breathing was erratic and harsh. He felt like he couldn't breathe, that everything around him was suffocating him. He felt incredibly hot and sticky with sweat. His body on was on high alert and every hair stood on end. He couldn't see anything, it was too dark. He tried to scream but no sound came out. He felt tears streaming down his face and his body shook from the harsh sobs. Where was he? Was he dead? Was he trapped somewhere? He felt around but nothing could be felt. He was terrified and desperately needed whatever was happening to end. He begged and pleaded for it all to stop. His heartbeat became increasingly loud, he could feel it reverberate in his chest. He covered his ears but it did no good. He clawed at his arms, trying to wake himself in case it was a dream. You can't feel real pain in a dream right? He felt blood trickle on his arm from where he was scratching, how hard had he pressed?_

_That's when he heard something. It was muffled but he was clearly hearing something that wasn't his heart beating. He looked around but still saw nothing but darkness. He felt his body shaking and wondered why he was moving that way. The sounds got louder and he thinks it may be his name. Yes, he was sure it was his name he was hearing. Someone was looking for him! He tried to yell back but he still couldn't speak. He waved his arms around frantically trying to be seen. He hears his name once more and its louder._

Eddie's eyes fly open and he jumped up out of bed and screamed. He clutches himself and looks like a rabid dog that's cornered. His eyes were wide and he was shaking.

"Eddie! You were screaming in your sleep and shaking. You also scratched up your arm", Richie said as he walked towards Eddie slowly.

Eddie looked terrified and he collapsed to the floor sobbing. His hands covered his face and shook violently. Richie got down on the floor and pulled Eddie into his lap and wrapped his arms around the crying boy. Eddie shoved his hands into Richie's shirt and grabbed hold, his face against Richie's neck. They stayed there for about ten minutes, until Eddie's cries became softer and softer. Richie held him tight the entire time, even when his leg started to fall asleep he didn't budge. He whispered "shh" over and over, and kept letting Eddie know that he was safe, that he was ok, that Richie was there. Once all that was left was sniffles, Eddie sat up and looked at Richie, their faces a bit close since Eddie was in Richie's lap.

"Want to talk about it?" Richie asked softly.

Eddie knew he should, he knew it would help but he couldn't bring himself to so he shook his head. Richie nodded that he understood and just sat there in silence with his friend for as long as Eddie wanted. Eddie ended up laying his head on Richie's shoulder and did a breathing exercise to help him calm down more. He felt embarrassed, it had been a long time since he had woken up like that. In fact it hadn't happened since before he started college. He hated those night terrors, the ones he remembered for the first minute of being awake but slowly faded away until he couldn't remember anything about them. He knew it was the middle of the night, outside was dark and Bill wasn't in his bed, he must have stayed with Stan. He wanted nothing more to get back into his bed, bundle up into a burrito, and stay there for a week.

Morning came and Eddie refused to get out of bed. He was exhausted, he had a migraine, he felt like absolute shit and nothing that Richie did convinced him to get up. Richie ended up leaving for a bit to shower and change clothes, wearing the same clothes two days in a row was a bit too much, even for him. About five minutes after Richie left, the door opened and in walked Bill.

"Hey th-there. Richie told me w-what happened, anything I can do?"

Eddie turned over but stayed wrapped in blankets. Tears welled in his eyes and he took a deep breath.

"Migraine meds and coffee please?" Eddie asked softly.

Bill grabbed the painkillers and a water bottle and handed them to Eddie then went to go get coffee at the cafe. He was glad Mike worked today, he always made coffee the best, although Ben seemed to be almost as good, it pays to have a great teacher.

The cafe was slow on Sunday mornings which gave the employees much needed time to bake and cook. Bill arrived to see a smiling Mike talking to Vic and handing him coffee. Mike was clearly enjoying the obvious flirting from Vic and it made Bill chuckle. That's when Mike finally noticed him.

"Hey Bill! You remember Vic?" Mike asked.

Bill nodded and waved.

"Hey man! How is Eddie doing?" Vic asked Bill.

"W-well th-that's actually why I'm down here. I came to get coffee for him. He had a bad night. Night terrors and he has a migraine from th-the panic attack, Richie w-woke him up and he held him until he w-was calm enough to get back in bed", Bill explained and Mike looked heartbroken.

Mike hated when his friends were hurting. He quickly got to work on the coffee for Eddie, he also ended up making one for Bill and Richie as well.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I really hope he decides to come to the group therapy I told him about. I really think it could help", Vic said.

Bill looked confused so Vic explained all about how he knew Eddie and once he was finished, Bill looked about ready to cry.

"It w-was you? You saved him? I can't even begin to th-thank you enough. My family took him in so he's basically my brother".

Vic wasn't expecting a hug but he smiled and hugged Bill back. Mike was smiling and putting the coffees in a drink holder. Bill went to hand Mike his card but Mike refused to take it. He insisted it was on the house. Bill thanked him and left to deliver the drinks.

"You were in conversion therapy with Eddie?" Mike asked.

Vic nodded and looked at his coffee cup, it wasn't something he was open about so quickly with someone he was pursuing as to not scare them off.

"If that's too much baggage I understand, I usually wait a while before talking about it with someone I like. I like to show that I won't let it affect romantic relationships."

Mike smiled and assured Vic he doesn't scare that easily.

Bill returned to his dorm room and gave Eddie his coffee. Eddie drank it as best as he could while still laying down. Bill sipped on his coffee and watched Eddie, wishing there was more he could do. Shortly after coming back, Richie knocked on the door and Bill let him in. After handing Richie his coffee they sat on Bill's bed and just kept watching Eddie.

"What the fuck are y'all staring at?" Eddie griped.

Bill and Richie both looked away, Richie even started to whistle like he wasn't just caught staring at his friend. Eddie shook his head and grumbled softly.

"Hey Eddie, I saw Vic at th-the cafe, he was totally chatting up Mike, but he told me he really hopes you go to th-the group th-therapy he told you about", Bill said.

"Oh yeah, I'll text him later", Eddie said softly.

Richie was oddly quiet. He wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want to upset Eddie, he was afraid of making him mad or possibly cause him to cry. He wasn't the best with all these feelings stuff and he was at a loss. He always just joked around if he was upset or hurting. Hide the pain with humor, was it healthy? No. But it was what he did. If he got angry or frustrated he would pace and had to fidget with something. He was always consumed with nervous energy that he had to let out or he felt like he would go insane. Right now he just picked at his cuticles and his leg would not stay still.

A few hours later, once Eddie's migraine calmed down and was at a tolerable level, Richie grabbed the laptop on Eddie's bedside table and got on Eddie's bed and sat with his back on the headboard. Eddie sat up to sit next to him and watch what his friend was doing. Richie searched for something to watch, he finally put on _Rick and Morty_ and the air began to be relieved of its tension. Eddie even laughed a few times which would make Richie smile.

Bill did homework and glanced over at the two every so often and he was glad that Eddie's attention was on something else. He smiled when he saw Eddie scoot closer to Richie and lean his head on his chest which caused Richie's arm to wrap around the smaller boy and start playing with his hair. Eddie seemed to enjoy that, he sighed in content and smiled. Richie wasn't even aware he was playing with Eddie's hair until he heard that sigh of contentment. It made Richie melt and he looked at Eddie with the sweetest look on his face and smiled. Bill clearly saw Richie's heart eyes and he had to hold back a snicker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make it my mission to make the next chapter way better. Thanks for reading! Let me know what y'all think.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Here!" Richie yelled as he thrust something into Eddie's hands.
> 
> Eddie looked down and it was a necklace, a simple black band but the charm on it was a crescent moon with a star etched into the top of the moon. The etching was purple and it honestly was the most beautiful and most thoughtful gift he had ever received. He looked up at Richie with tears in his eyes.
> 
> "Thank you", Eddie whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to get out. I had a hard week and yeah so I hope y'all like it.  
> Trigger warning  
> Eddie talks about the assault to his therapist

**Chapter 16**

Eddie sat in Jerome's office fidgeting. He didn't even want to come to his session today but Bill made him. His hair was curling since he didn't bother fixing his hair this morning and he slapped on a beanie to hide most of it. He was glad he wore his favorite black sweater, it was incredibly soft and he always messed with the end of the sleeves when he was nervous. It was the first article of clothing he wore once he got out of the hospital so it was special to him, that and it used to be Bill's so it was just a little too large for him but he didn't mind. He wore black skinny jeans with it, he had so many pairs of black skinny jeans he honestly couldn't remember how many he had, and he sat on the couch crisscrossed and hoping Jerome would let him sit there in silence for his session.

"So Eddie," of course he wasn't going to let Eddie not speak at all but he could dream, "You seem out of it. Did something happen?" Jerome asked softly.

Eddie shrugged and his sweater fell off his shoulder so he reached to pull it back up but that was when Jerome noticed the bite mark on his neck.

"Tell me about the hickey", he prodded.

Eddie yelped and realized he didn't put concealer over it this morning. Fuuuuuuck. He wasn't even going to tell Jerome about the attempted assault, he didn't want to think about it, much less talk about it.

"Its nothing", Eddie mumbled.

Jerome stared at Eddie which caused the boy to shift in his seat, he knew that look usually got him to talk but he just couldn't do it. He didn't _want_ to do it so he shook his head.

"The things you don't want to talk about are the things you really should talk about, now if you got intimate with that boy you spoke about, now there isn't anything wrong with it, I gave you my opinion on the matter but its ultimately up to you what you do with your own body", Jerome explained.

That's when Eddie lost it, he started crying which ended up in him gasping for breath and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His lungs were failing him, he was obviously dying. He didn't want to go out like this but he wouldn't have to talk about the assault so there's a silver lining. During this attack Jerome got up and called Bill in. As soon as Bill walked in he ran to Eddie and pulled his inhaler out of his pocket and put it to Eddie's mouth. Eddie took two hits and he felt a rush of relief flow through his entire body. His breathing and sobbing started to calm down and Bill rubbed his back in comforting soothing circles.

"Sorry", he mumbled.

"It's completely ok Eddie, I'm just concerned about what caused you so much distress", Jerome said.

Eddie looked at Bill and nodded, telling him that he could leave if he wanted so Bill stood up and walked out of the room and shut the door.

"This bite mark, hickey, whatever you want to call it was not because I had sex. Someone tried to... I went to a club with my friends and... I fucked up. I took what I thought was painkillers from what I thought was a nice person and he ended up trying to... I don't want to use the word... so assault, he tried to sexually assault me".

Jerome sat back in his chair and started typing, the clicking of the keys usually soothing to Eddie was actually annoying to him today.

"I see. Was this from, let's see, ahh Richie?" Jerome asked.

"No! I didn't know this guy. Richie would never! He tried to kick the fucking door down to get to me. He blamed himself for this when it was all my fault!"

"Eddie, this was not your fault at all. You rarely go places, you can't be expected to know everything about interacting with people. This guy seemed nice but he wasn't, people fool others all the time. That doesn't make it the victim's fault. You said he tried to assault you but assault isn't just penetration, its any unwanted sexually physical acts that are forced on you. Do you want to tell me what all happened?"

Eddie sat there and thought, he was embarrassed he couldn't remember everything but Jerome hadn't judged him at all.

"The drugs make it fuzzy, I don't remember much. I can't remember his name. I remember being in the bathroom and he spoke to me, he called me cutie which kinda made me feel a little good about myself, I hate admitting that, and well he asked if I was ok and I told him I had a headache so he offered me pills that he said help him with his headaches, I'm thinking its like _Tylenol_ or something so I take it. I started feeling weird while he was talking to me and he seemed nice and asked if I was ok. I told him I felt dizzy so he took me to a room so I could lay down. It seemed like what any decent person would do but when he got me on the couch he got on top of me. He held my wrists so tight it hurt. I realized he drugged me and I was terrified. The sick part is he noticed my scars and he yanked my sweater off and he was turned on by my scars! It was disgusting. He pulled out his knife and said he was going to give me more, the blade was cold on my skin and it kinda tickled. Thankfully he stopped when he saw the br- uh my chest".

Jerome looked at Eddie, he always gave him that knowing look when he knew Eddie was withholding information or lying.

"I'm not going to judge you. Please tell me", Jerome said gently.

"No one knows though. It was my secret, all mine that no one else could take from me, until he took it. Now someone knows and I feel violated. I was branded, at conversion therapy. Its an F... for fag" , Eddie whispered the last part and looked at the floor.

Jerome had stopped typing and looked at his patient with sincere sympathy, Eddie could feel it and didn't want to look because he knew if he did he would cry.

I'm sorry that awful place did that to you", Jerome said breaking the silence.

"Its ok. I'm just embarrassed about it. Cuts can be about anything but a fucking branding just screams that I'm just some fucking animal and I hate it. No offense to animals of course".

Eddie walked out of the room and found Bill typing on his phone.

"Hey! How did the rest of your session go?" Bill asked as he stood up and put his phone in his pocket.

Eddie leaned into him and he felt Bill's arm wrap around his back and they walked out to head to Bill's car.

"It was rough but I got through it. I also told him about Vic and he thinks I should go to the group therapy Vic invited me to", Eddie said as he got into the car.

Bill hummed in acknowledgement and started to drive back to their campus. Eddie put on some music so there wouldn't be just silence in the air. They usually didn't speak after they left, Bill knew how tiring therapy could be for Eddie so they just enjoyed the music that filled the car.

**Trashmouth: Eddie my love! I have a surprise for you!**

**Eddie: I'm scared now.**

**Trashmouth: Don't be, you'll love it. I promise**

**Eddie: If this is a prank or something then please not today, therapy took a lot out of me.**

**Trashmouth: Its a good surprise I** **promise**

**Eddie: You really didn't have to.**

**Trashmouth: Hush, I do what I want Eds**

**Eddie: Don't call me that.**

**Trashmouth: You love it and you know it**

**Eddie: Is my surprise you losing your voice?**

**Trashmouth: You wound me baby!**

**Eddie: oh my god shut up**

**Trashmouth: Well would you look at that, because of me you didn't use proper punctuation, I'm rubbing off on you!**

**Eddie: fuck off**

**Trashmouth: Never, you would miss me too much**

**Eddie: You are never this bold in person, only over text. Do I make you shy in person?**

**Trashmouth: WHAT THE FUCK, not true at all**

**Eddie: So does that mean if I text Stan right now asking if you're blushing he will tell me no?**

**Trashmouth: Duh, I don't get flustered unlike you, who turns red if I even look at your cute face**

**Eddie: Fuck off, I do not**

**Trashmouth: So if I were to text dear Billiam and ask if you're blushing he would say no?**

**Eddie: I hate you**

**Trashmouth: love ya too <3**

Eddie groaned as he set his phone in his lap. Richie could be so infuriating sometimes. Bill glanced over and chuckled.

"Richie got you all flustered again?"

Eddie damn near squawked then glared at his friend. He heard Bill's phone go off and he knew, oh he knew.

"Do not reply to that text I swear to god!" Eddie yelled.

Bill laughed but continued driving, he would never text while driving but he couldn't make any promises to not replying after they got back.

Richie was standing outside Bill and Eddie's dorm room and Eddie almost found it cute, ok he actually found it cute but he would never admit that. Richie's hands were behind his back and he had a huge goofy grin on his face. It also didn't help that he was wearing a bright red Hawaiian shirt over a solid black t-shirt, he looked incredibly goofy but in his own cute way.

"Here!" Richie yelled as he thrust something into Eddie's hands.

Eddie looked down and it was a necklace, a simple black band but the charm on it was a crescent moon with a star etched into the top of the moon. The etching was purple and it honestly was the most beautiful and most thoughtful gift he had ever received. He looked up at Richie with tears in his eyes.

"Thank you", Eddie whispered.

Richie looked proud of himself but also bashful and he looked away and touched the back of his neck.

"You're welcome", Richie whispered back.

Eddie put the necklace on and it was now officially his favorite thing in the world. A surge of bravely burned in him and he stood on his tiptoes and kissed Richie's cheek. He smiled up at Richie and then ran to his room. Bill just stared and Richie was in shock. He touched his cheek and smiled. He had it bad and he fucking knew it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to make the next chapter longer, like I said this was a rough week but I hope the fluff makes up for it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie kept pacing and his breathing was starting to become erratic. He wanted to lay down and sleep but his mind was too loud and he just needed to move. He felt like running, his body was shaking, vibrating? There was too much energy and he needed to let it out somehow. He kept shaking his head and barely heard Bill speak to him. He knew he needed to calm down before he had a full on panic attack so he rummaged through his desk drawer and found his anxiety medication. He hated taking them, they made him feel so out of it, like a zombie, but they helped so he took it and sat down on his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with a curve ball thrown at y'all!

**Chapter 17**

Eddie was pacing in his room when Bill walked in.

"Fuck! Why did I do that? Shit!"

Bill looked at his friend. He was honestly shocked as well that Eddie had kissed Richie on the cheek. It was innocent enough but Eddie of course would panic.

"Its ok, it w-was sweet", Bill assured.

Eddie kept pacing and his breathing was starting to become erratic. He wanted to lay down and sleep but his mind was too loud and he just needed to move. He felt like running, his body was shaking, vibrating? There was too much energy and he needed to let it out somehow. He kept shaking his head and barely heard Bill speak to him. He knew he needed to calm down before he had a full on panic attack so he rummaged through his desk drawer and found his anxiety medication. He hated taking them, they made him feel so out of it, like a zombie, but they helped so he took it and sat down on his bed.

"Bill, I'm gonna try to sleep", Eddie said as he started stripping off his shoes, socks, and jeans. He left his sweater on and grabbed the sleep shorts he wore last night. He laid down and faced the wall, closing his eyes he let his mind become a fuzzy mess as he began slowly drifting into unconsciousness.

Bill left the room and headed to Stan and Richie's room. He didn't want to accidentally disturb Eddie and he wanted to see Stan anyway. He knocked on the door and it was answered by Richie. He didn't speak to Bill, just moved away from the doorway to let Bill in. Stan was sitting on his bed with books and papers spread out but when he looked up and saw Bill was there he smiled and moved some of his things out of the way so Bill could sit on the foot of the bed.

"Hey, hope you don't mind me hanging here for a bit, Eddie is taking a nap and I didn't w-want to disturb him", Bill explained.

"Not at all! Your company is always welcome", Stan said happily.

Richie had gone back to playing a game on his _Nintendo_ _Switch_. He still felt a warmth in his chest from Eddie kissing his cheek and he wondered what it meant exactly. Friends kissed their friends on the cheek, Bev kissed his cheek all the time and it wasn't weird. Only difference here was that he liked Eddie, he had romantic feelings and he couldn't really act on them. It was torture but the price he would continue to pay to stay in Eddie's life. He felt eyes on him and glanced over at Stan's side of the room and realized he was being stared at. He paused the game and sat up to face his friends.

"Can I help you?" Richie asked.

"We were trying to get your attention, want to go with us to get coffee?"

Richie thought it over, he didn't have a class for another half hour so it would be good timing for him.

"Sure Stan, let me grab my shit since I have class soon".

Mike and Ben were both working at the cafe when the trio walked inside. It was actually quite busy and there was a line. They didn't mind waiting though, Stan was still trying to figure out what he wanted and Bill was talking to Richie about how his writing class was going. Once they finally made it to the register Ben greeted them with a sweet smile.

"Hey! What are y'all up to?" he asked his three friends.

"Coffee time!" Richie said loudly.

"We needed some caffeine. Could I get a cinnamon latte?" Stan asked as he handed Ben a five dollar bill and shoved three dollars in the tip jar.

"I'll have a vanilla latte", Bill ordered once Stan was done ordering.

Richie was the last to order and he ended up going with what he knew he liked and ordered a caramel latte. They waited at the pickup side of the counter and Mike brought out all three drinks.

"Here we are!" Mike announced.

Stan sighed happily after his first sip, Bill thanked Mike, and Richie gave a thumbs up as he started to down his drink.

All three of them probably had a coffee problem but they were all content in being dependent on the caffeinated drink. After all, what else besides energy drinks were going to get them through all nighters and finals weeks?

"How's Eddie?" Mike asked Bill.

"Sleeping. Th-therapy took a lot out of him".

Mike nodded and packed up some leftover fruit from the fruit bowls he made earlier and gave it to Bill for Eddie. Eddie usually had no issues with eating fruit, he felt they were safe food, so Bill was more than happy to take it and hopefully get his roommate to eat.

"You are w-welcome to come over after your shift. I'm sure Eddie w-would love to see you" Bill offered.

Mike took him up on it and promised to come by in a few hours. They said their goodbyes and started walking back to their dorm building.

"I have to part ways with y'all, almost time for my class, see y'all later", Richie said as he started heading towards his class. He waved at his friends and hoped his class would go by quickly.

He continued to drink his coffee and realized a few people had been staring at him as he walked by, he looked at himself and didn't see anything worthy of being stared at so he chalked it up to a good hair day.

As he got closer to his class more and more people were staring at him and it was starting to bug him. He was about to just yell and ask why everyone seemed to find him super interesting today when a group of guys stood in his way in front of him. He glared at them as if daring them to try anything.

"Is it true Tozier? Are you really fucking some twink?" one guy asked, he couldn't remember the guy's name but he never liked him.

"Fuck off", Richie growled and shoved his way through the group.

"He better watch where he goes, alone. Never know what might happen", another guy in the group taunted.

Richie stopped dead in his tracks and turned around slowly. A few people gasped as they realized Richie was fucking pissed. Richie eyes burned with anger and he got in the leader's face and shoved his finger in his chest to poke as hard as he could.

"You so much as look at my friend, you will regret it. I have connections, you know I do. Don't make me use them fucker", Richie whispered the last part. At least that seemed to make the guy sweat a little.

Richie turned away and continued on towards his class acting as if he didn't just threaten the life of a fellow student, he threw away his coffee cup, pulled out a cigarette and lighter, lit the cigarette, and took a nice long drag. 

Eddie heard a loud banging sound and he covered his head with his pillow. Why was the world so loud? The banging continued and he groaned. Whoever the fuck was at the door was going to have to endure the wrath of the small yet scary boy who was still very tired and doped up. He opened the door and was about to tear them a new one when his mouth dropped open and all he could do was stare.

"Georgie?"

"Hi Eddie! Where's Billy?" the blonde boy standing in front of Eddie asked. He was about the same height as Eddie, he was Bill's younger brother and you could tell they were related but Eddie was so confused as to why or how Georgie was at his door.

"Come in, he isn't here right now, and what are you doing here?" Eddie spoke quickly and shut the door. He went to his dresser and pulled out pajama pants to put on. He hated Georgie seeing his scars, he wasn't a child anymore but still, he was like a little brother to him.

Georgie sat on Bill's bed and sighed. He knew Eddie was going to get mad at him, and Bill would be furious but he had to leave his home. He barely brought anything, spur of the moment choice and he pretty much just had his jeans and _Superman_ t-shirt and his jacket in his backpack with maybe two changes of clothes.

"Please don't be mad, I couldn't take it anymore. Mom and dad were driving me insane. All their focus was on me since y'all left and it sucks! I couldn't breathe in my own room. I swear, I had like no privacy, I haven't been able to jack off in two months!"

Eddie cringed at the information, he could do without that information from someone he had known since he was a small child. Georgie always loved Eddie, just like Bill, Eddie was also someone he looked up to and thought was coolest person in the world. He had been delighted when his parents took Eddie in, Eddie was always his favorite of Bill's friends.

"Did you run away?! Holy shit you can't do that! Did you hitchhike?" Eddie asked growing more and more annoyed at the stupidity of the younger boy.

Georgie nodded and shifted uneasily. Yep, Eddie was mad at him, he hated when anyone was mad at him but it always seem to sting more when it was Eddie. He picked at his cuticles and tried to think of something to say, anything that would relieve the tension building up but no words came to him. Eddie began rambling off statistics of young boys running away from home, being abducted, and be killed.

Bill and Stan walked into Bill's room after hearing Eddie yelling from out in the hall and that's when Bill saw his little brother sitting on his bed looking guilty.

"Georgie?! W-what are you doing here?"

"Hey Billy, uh I was just telling Eddie, I ran away", Georgie replied.

Eddie looked angry and gave Bill a look, Stan looked very confused and kept looking over at everyone trying to find out exactly what was going on. He didn't even know Bill had a brother, they hadn't gotten into talking much about their families, that was more for Stanley's sake after he mentioned how his father was angry with him for not following in his footsteps.

"Dude! Mom and dad are going to be so pissed w-when th-they realize you're gone!"

Georgie hung his head down as Bill explained to a very confused Stan that Georgie was his younger brother who apparently ran away from home. He was only a few years younger than Bill, closer to Eddie's age, and he was in his junior year of high school. Georgie tried to explain to Bill what he had been explaining to Eddie but Bill held his hand up.

"Call mom right now and tell her w-where you are!" Bill yelled.

Georgie begged and pleaded Bill to not make him do it but all he got was a glare from his brother. He pulled out his phone and started to call his mom but had to yank the phone away from his ear as yelling from the other end of the line could be heard by everyone in the room. Georgie tried explaining that he was safe and completely fine and with Bill but his mom was not letting up. Bill took the phone away from Georgie.

"Hey mom, I'm so sorry, I don't know w-what got into him. I can drive him back after my last class on Th-thursday".

Bill hung up the phone and handed it back to his brother.

"You are in so much trouble", Bill told him.

Stan felt awkward but felt like it would be even more awkward if he tried to leave so he sat at Bill's desk trying to remain unnoticed. Eddie was still glaring at Georgie, he couldn't believe how stupid Georgie was being! He could have been seriously hurt or worse.

"I'm sorry, I just needed to get out of there"

Bill shrugged and sat down beside his brother.

"Look, I'm only mad because I care. I never w-want anything bad happening to you, especially after you w-went missing for a w-week w-when you w-were eight and got lost in th-the woods. Th-that was terrifying, I th-thought I lost you. I never w-want to go th-through th-that again", Bill explained.

Finally Richie's class was over and he could relax for the rest of the day. He wanted to check up on Eddie so he started walked towards his dorm building. Once he got to his floor, he quickly threw his backpack in his room and walked to Eddie's room. He knocked and heard several voices and when the door opened, it was the beautiful boy himself which made Richie smile.

"Hiya Eds."

"Richie! H-hey!" Eddie responded shyly.

He let Richie inside and they both sat on Eddie's bed. Georgie noticed the shift in Eddie's demeanor and he frowned. Eddie seemed to be almost nervous around this guy, his eyes sparkled when he looked at Richie. Georgie did not like this at all.

"Who are you?" Georgie asked rudely.

"Dude!" Bill smacked Georgie on the back of the head. "Be nice! Th-that's our friend Richie", Bill chastised.

Richie smirked as he looked at the kid. Bill explained how he was his younger brother and he ran away from home.

"Well nice to meet you kid", Richie said in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Oh Georgie hated this guy. Why was he sitting so close to Eddie too? He wanted to wipe that smirk off of that dumb face. Richie on the other hand, found everything amusing. He wasn't sure what crawled up this kid's butt but he was going to annoy the living fuck out of him.

"So Eddie, I noticed some new movies were added on _Amazon Prime_ and figured we could watch some movies tonight", Richie suggested.

Eddie's face lit up and a slight blush tinted his cheeks. He nodded enthusiastically which made Richie smile. Eddie was too cute for his own good.

"Awesome, I also got a new blanket we can use, so fucking soft and fuzzy!"

Georgie was fuming, was this asshole really trying to get all cozy with Eddie?!

"But Eddie, I'm only here for such a short amount of time, I was hoping I could hang with you and Billy". Georgie used the sweet puppy dog eyes to look sad and small.

Eddie usually fell for that so when he was hesitant to immediately drop his plans with Richie, Bill stepped in.

"W-we can spend time together, just us two, and tomorrow you can hang w-with th-the th-three of us, sound good?"

Georgie nodded. He didn't want that tall, curly haired mess of a douche to be all up on Eddie so he devised a plan to be clingy and not let them be alone together. He knew Eddie was too nice to say anything. He smiled sweetly but Richie wasn't buying the innocent look one bit. There was a silent battle between the two, only Georgie knew why but Richie was determined to figure out why this war began. He had a suspicion but he wanted to be sure before he said anything to Eddie about it.

 _Let the games begin bitch._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it, seems like Georgie is feeling the green eyed monster. Let me know what you think. I hope I'm keeping this story interesting.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's come a long way from when we first met him, and it hasn't even been that long", Stan spoke again after about ten minutes of silence, other than Richie's show, had passed.
> 
> Richie looked down at the sleeping angel he was holding and he smiled. He really was improving and Richie felt happy that he was able to help and provide safety for Eddie to work through his problems. He might never be able to be in a relationship with him but honestly Richie could stay this way forever and he would be fine. He knew he was falling for the smaller boy and it scared him but it was also nice to care about someone this much.
> 
> "I'm falling for him... hard..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More cutesy stuff before I bring back the angst in the next chapter or two.

**Chapter 18**

Eddie was cuddled up in Richie's bed watching _Star vs the Forces of Evil_ because Richie insisted he must watch it since, its only like the best show ever, Richie's words. Eddie had to admit, it was pretty damn good. They were close to finishing season one already and Eddie was loving it. Sadly what Eddie was not loving was his phone constantly going off, it was Georgie texting him, sending photos of him and Bill having fun together, talking about what they were doing, and asking Eddie about the show he was watching. Eddie was too nice to ignore the messages or say anything, even though he was slightly annoyed, but he knew Georgie was young and got excited easily.

Richie was quite annoyed about it because he knew why Eddie's phone was blowing up. He used to be an immature high school boy who got jealous, he knows all the tricks and he practically wrote the book! He wanted to voice it to Eddie but since Eddie didn't seem to mind, he was hiding it quite well, he let it go, as best as he could. When Eddie set his phone down and looked back over at the laptop his phone went off again.

"Oh my god!", Eddie huffed and angrily picked up his phone and put it on silence and threw it onto Stan's bed.

Richie tried so hard not to laugh, seeing Eddie frustrated like that was like watching a kitten try to act tough and hiss at a dog, it was adorable. Eddie looked over at him and he knew, he could tell Richie was trying so hard but the look Eddie gave him, that annoyed look he found so cute, he busted out laughing. Eddie didn't find it funny but the corner of his mouth twitched trying to smile. Richie's laugh was contagious and like music to his ears. He honestly loved hearing Richie laugh and could listen to it all day. His chest felt warm and fuzzy but he rolled his eyes, trying to keep up the annoyed facade.

"I'm so sorry Eds, you're just too adorable when you're annoyed", Richie said wiping a tear from his eye. He laughed so hard he almost started to cry.

Eddie grumbled and cuddled into Richie's side more and tried to focus on the show.

Georgie kept checking his phone and after ten minutes of no reply he got annoyed, What could Eddie possibly be doing that he can't answer his messages? What if they were... no, Eddie wouldn't. That guy was a total weirdo and Eddie could do so much better.

"Hey Billy, I haven't heard from Eddie in a while, maybe we should go check on him".

Bill looked at his younger brother and shook his head. He knew his little bother had a crush on Eddie, even if Georgie didn't know it himself. He also knew Eddie was not the most patient person and constantly being flooded with texts would end up with him silencing his phone. He was too nice sometimes but the poor guy could only take so much.

"Dude, chill. He's w-with Richie, he's fine. If anything happened Richie w-would call", Bill assured his brother.

Georgie was not convinced but he couldn't argue with Bill. He didn't _know_ why he hated Richie but there was something about him. The way he clung to Eddie, the way he looked at Eddie, and the way he spoke to Eddie. Who does he think he is?!

"I don't like him", Georgie grumbled.

Bill chuckled as he grabbed his brother by the wrist and let him down the sidewalk. He was trying to get them to the ice cream parlor that served the best ice cream sodas that he had ever had. He knew his brother would like it and ice cream could always distract him.

Eddie had dozed off with his head on Richie's chest, it didn't help that Richie was running his fingers through his soft brown hair and lulling him to sleep. The show was switched to something Richie had seen a thousand times and he let Eddie sleep. Stan had come back to their room and was doing homework but would glance over at his friends every now and then. He really wanted to apologize to Richie, even though Richie was speaking to him, things were still tense. He just didn't know how to start it and not sound like a total asshole.

"What?" Richie asked without even looking away from the t.v.

Stan jumped, he wasn't expecting the sudden question. Richie could always tell when something was on his mind. Should he apologize now? Eddie was asleep but he was still in the room. He knew the sooner the better but he still felt worried. What if Richie never forgave him? What if he wanted to get a new roommate?

"I'm sorry", was all Stan could get out.

Richie looked at Stan finally and he shrugged.

"No worries".

Richie was always so easy to apologize to. If someone was truly sorry and he knew it, he accepted it and moved on. Rarely did he stay mad, and when he did, it was usually for something really really bad, unforgivable bad.

"He's come a long way from when we first met him, and it hasn't even been that long", Stan spoke again after about ten minutes of silence, other than Richie's show, had passed.

Richie looked down at the sleeping angel he was holding and he smiled. He really was improving and Richie felt happy that he was able to help and provide safety for Eddie to work through his problems. He might never be able to be in a relationship with him but honestly Richie could stay this way forever and he would be fine. He knew he was falling for the smaller boy and it scared him but it was also nice to care about someone this much.

"I'm falling for him... hard..."

Stan dropped his pen and notebook and stared at Richie. He knew this was going to happen, Richie could fall hard and if he wasn't careful he could end up not being able to get back up. He had helped Richie through many breakups and broken hearts. He held his friend as he cried, he made him eat and bathe, he dressed him and once he even kissed him. That night was the worst he had ever seen Richie. That night he was afraid Richie might do something to end the pain. He wanted his best friend to know he was loved so he showed him. He honestly has no idea how long they kissed for but it was slow and sweet and could have led to more if they weren't careful. Their hands wandered and they were tangled up together in Richie's bed but they both knew to not go farther than that. They never spoke about it and they both knew that they didn't need to.

"I know. I'm here no matter what happens, always have and always will", Stan responded.

They smiled at each other, both grateful for the other. Richie knew Stan would always be there for him, he knew Stan would do anything to help Richie, hell the guy made out with him when he was at his lowest. He knows Stan would have let him fuck him if that's what it took to keep Richie in the present and not do something crazy. He has no idea how he got so lucky to have Stan as his best friend, but he's thankful he did.

Eddie woke up about three hours later and continuously apologized for falling asleep. Richie kept telling him that it was ok and reassuring him that he wasn't upset. He honestly loved watching Eddie sleep, not that he would ever say that out loud. Stan tossed Eddie's phone back to Richie's bed and Eddie really didn't want to check it, but he did and of course he had ten texts from Georgie and one from Bill. He decided to check the one from Bill.

**Bill: Sorry about Georgie blowing your phone up, I tried distracting him**

**Eddie: Its ok, I ended up putting my phone on silent.**

**Eddie: Surprisingly I only woke up to 10 messages!**

**Bill: You are a saint lol woke up? what were y'all doing??**

**Eddie: Shut up. I fell asleep while we were watching a show.**

**Bill: Were you cuddling him?**

**Eddie: Fuck off**

**Bill: You were! You seem to be doing better with him, why don't you tell him how you feel?**

**Eddie: wtf no! I can't do that. I'm no where near ready. I'm still fucked up.**

**Bill: You didn't deny anything, that's a huge step up from before.**

**Eddie: I know he doesn't feel the same way. I'm a fucked up gremlin who causes too many problems.**

**Bill: You're so blind, I think you're the one who needs glasses.**

Eddie scoffed and put his phone down. He wasn't blind! He was realistic. He knew how he was and he wouldn't like himself and want to deal with all that baggage. He remembered that he still needed to text Vic about the group therapy so he picked his phone back up.

**Eddie: Hey Vic. Its Eddie.**

**Vic: Eddie! I'm so glad you messaged me!**

**Eddie: I'm sorry I haven't sooner, just a lot going on but I wanted to get info on the group therapy.**

**Vic: Of course sweetheart! We are meeting tomorrow at the church at the downtown square.**

**Eddie: I'll try to get a ride. Thank you for inviting me. I really hope it can help me.**

**Vic: It will. It helped me a lot. I wasn't always this put together. I was like you.**

**Eddie: That gives me hope. I'd like to be able to date and eventually be in love.**

**Vic: I'm sure Richie would like that too ;-)**

**Eddie: Vic!**

**Vic: Ok ok, I'll send you the address of the church and the time. Can't wait to see you.**

**Eddie: Thanks!**

Eddie looked at Richie who was deeply invested in the show he was watching, completely zoned out of the real world, and he found it really cute. 

"Hey Richie?"

Richie looked over and smiled.

"Yes Eddie my love?"

Eddie blushed and he looked away hoping Richie didn't notice. He totally did notice. Eddie blushing was the cutest and he just wanted to pinch those cheeks and say "cute cute cute!" but he refrained from doing so. He knew Eddie would bat his hands away and swear he hated it even though he knows he loves it.

"Would you be willing to take me to the group therapy Vic invited me to tomorrow? If not its ok but-" Eddie was cut off.

"Of course I can!" Richie cleared his throat, "I mean yeah no problem", he said nonchalantly.

Stan snorted which caused Eddie to giggle and Richie to glare daggers at his roommate and flip him off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its going to get angsty in here soon so be prepared. Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You here for the survivor group?" The guy mumbled with his cigarette in his mouth as Eddie was about to reach for the door handle.
> 
> Eddie nodded and looked down at the ground. He felt so self-conscious so he bit at his bottom lip, another nervous habit of his.
> 
> "You're new huh? I've never seen you here before", the guy said as he looked the smaller boy up and down with a smirk.
> 
> Eddie felt so small and his cheeks flushed as he noticed the guy was checking him out.
> 
> "Uh, yeah. Vic invited me", Eddie barely spoke above a whisper which made the stranger chuckle.
> 
> "You look pretty when you blush".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, amidst the crazy shit that is going on irl I tried to write some. Kinda a filler but also important for later. I honestly had a little writers block but next chapter will be better. Thank you for sticking with this fic everyone!

**Chapter 19**

Eddie and Richie sat in Richie's truck in the parking lot of a church. His truck was older but still functioned and it was black, because Richie insisted on having a black vehicle because it was the coolest looking. He of course didn't realize have a dark vehicle in the summer months was pure hell but he got used to it.

A small old timey church that looked like it could use some sprucing up, was where the group therapy was being held. There were some cars in the parking lot, some people walking inside, and a guy smoking by the doors. Eddie was nervous for sure, he had never been to anything like it before and he was thinking of any excuse to just leave. He could pretend to feel sick. He could suddenly remember he had plans, or class, or anything else.

"I can see those wheels turning dude. Everything will be fine. You got this and if you need me, just let me know and I'll go inside", Richie said breaking the silence.

Eddie looked over at him and smiled. He really did appreciate the ride and the understanding. Eddie played with the ends of his sweater sleeves, the soft fuzzy strings fraying helped soothe him.

"Here I go", Eddie said after taking a deep breath.

Eddie got out of the truck and started walking towards the doors of the church. He saw the guy smoking by the door sitting with his back to the wall and Eddie wrinkled his nose. Didn't this smoker know not to smoke so close to an entrance? It was just common courtesy. The guy looked a little older than him, black hair and dark eyes, and he wore ripped skinny jeans, a solid grey t-shirt, a blue and black flannel, and a leather jacket. He also very tall and intimidating. Eddie hoped to walk by with no trouble, maybe the guy was like a guard or something.

"You here for the survivor group?" The guy mumbled with his cigarette in his mouth as Eddie was about to reach for the door handle.

Eddie nodded and looked down at the ground. He felt so self-conscious so he bit at his bottom lip, another nervous habit of his.

"You're new huh? I've never seen you here before", the guy said as he looked the smaller boy up and down with a smirk.

Eddie felt so small and his cheeks flushed as he noticed the guy was checking him out.

"Uh, yeah. Vic invited me", Eddie barely spoke above a whisper which made the stranger chuckle.

"You look pretty when you blush".

Eddie gasped and felt his entire face and ears grow warmer and he knew he was several shades darker red. He wasn't sure how to respond so he just shifted his weight from one foot to the other and looked everywhere else but at the guy who complimented him. There was something about the guy, he seemed dark, his eyes were expressing something Eddie didn't understand, something primal and the weight of his gaze fell heavy onto Eddie.

"Smoke?" the guy asked as he held out his cigarette for Eddie.

Eddie shook his head so the guy took a long drag and blew it away from Eddie and motioned for Eddie to sit. He didn't want to seem rude so he sat down across from the guy with his back to a pillar.

"I'm Eddie".

The taller guy smirked and put out what little was left of his cigarette on the ground. Eddie felt relief for a split second then saw the guy grab his pack and pulled out another one and grabbed his lighter on the ground next to him and lit another cigarette.

"Patrick", the guy said smoke came out of his nose.

Eddie almost found it cool that Patrick blew the smoke out his nose like a dragon. Well actually, it _was_ cool but he would never admit that.

"You seem kind of familiar, were you at the camp when it was shut down?" Eddie asked.

Patrick thought before giving an answer. The kid really didn't remember him, and here he thought the twink was coming back for more. Oh well, all the more fun to be had.

"I was. I was in solitary for most of the time so pretty sure you didn't see me", he answered .

Eddie had no idea they even had solitary. He was so glad he never got stuck there, he hated being alone. He could only image how much darker and colder it was.

"Why were you in solitary?"

Patrick seemed a little surprised at the question, no one really asked why, they just assumed he was acting up and not following the rules.

"Because their fucked up _therapy_ didn't work on me. I get off on pain. It pissed them off and they kept me alone in a small dark space to try to break me but I like being alone so it didn't work", Patrick explained.

Eddie's eyes widened as the words "I get off on pain" rattled in his ears. He didn't think it was possible to blush even more but apparently he could. This guy was some kind of weird kinky guy. Patrick almost looked amused, like he knew the shock factor would work on Eddie. What was worse was the guy was kind of attractive and Eddie wasn't sure what to do with that information. Oversharing was something that tended to made Eddie feel a little uneasy.

"I guess you're the guy", Patrick said after a few minutes of silence.

Eddie looked at Patrick confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You're the guy who slit his wrist right?" Patrick asked bluntly.

Eddie wasn't expecting him to be so abrupt but he nodded. It was odd having people actually know about that.

"Yeah you're like a fucking celebrity to these guys. Vic wouldn't stop talking about you, I swear he has been obsessed with you since the whole damn thing happened", Patrick said, almost sounding jealous.

Eddie looked at Patrick and he knew that look, Patrick _was_ jealous. His eyes betrayed him and Eddie had to try his damnedest not to giggle. The jealous look was gone quickly and his eyes sparkled with amusement. Patrick watched as Eddie was trying to figure him out. He had to admit he liked the attention. For someone who liked being alone and hated people, he did love attention. He loved feeling superior to others and looking down on those he deemed unworthy. His personality was always in conflict because he wanted credit for every fucked up thing he did but he didn't want to go to prison and lose the ability to do whatever he wanted.

"I should get inside", Eddie said as he started to stand up.

Patrick stood as well and threw the butt of the cigarette he was smoking on the ground and stepped on it.

"After you, cutie", Patrick said.

Eddie froze. Hearing the word cutie caused a flash of a memory to pop in his mind but instantly it was gone. He felt fearful and wasn't sure why he was even feeling this way. There was something about how Patrick had called him cutie. He couldn't remember it but he could almost feel it. It was on the tip of his tongue and he could almost brush it with his fingers. What was he reacting to? He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and just wanted to go home immediately.

"I can't!" Eddie bolted and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He got to Richie's truck and slammed the door shut. Richie looked startled and then concerned. He couldn't even get a word out before Eddie started yelling at him, "Just drive! Take me home!"

Richie quickly drove off and was lucky he didn't pass any cops since he was speeding at least ten miles an hour over the speed limit. He kept glancing over at Eddie now and then trying to make sure Eddie was still there. He was worried Eddie might try to bolt out of the moving vehicle. He was a wild card when he was panicking and Richie had to get him back home in one piece.

"What happened back there?" Richie asked.

Eddie kept trying to take deep breaths and not hyperventilate. He really didn't need to faint right now. He wasn't even sure how to explain to Richie what had happened. 

"I don't know".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you think? Did you guess Patrick was also at conversion therapy? I love hearing your thoughts and theories, it honestly helps motivate me to write. I hope y'all liked this chapter and as we get closer to more drama but also more reddie fluff, I just want to say I appreciate every comment and every kudos. Y'all are the best.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie burst through his door, startling Bill and Georgie, and jumped on his bed, covering himself with his blankets. He laid on his side facing the wall and was trying so hard not to cry. Richie stood in the doorway dumbstruck, still confused as to what happened. Bill and Georgie looked over to Richie but the look on Richie's face told them he was also in the dark. Georgie stood up from Bill's bed and stormed over to Richie.
> 
> "What the fuck did you do to him?!"
> 
> Richie's eyes widened and his expression turned angry.
> 
> "The fuck?! I didn't cause this dipshit!" Richie yelled and walked over to Eddie's bed and sat on it. He wasn't sure if he should say anything or keep his distance but he needed to do something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Towards the end of this chapter you start to see some darkness unfold.  
> But before all that a little reddie fluff.  
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 20**

Eddie burst through his door, startling Bill and Georgie, and jumped on his bed, covering himself with his blankets. He laid on his side facing the wall and was trying so hard not to cry. Richie stood in the doorway dumbstruck, still confused as to what happened. Bill and Georgie looked over to Richie but the look on Richie's face told them he was also in the dark. Georgie stood up from Bill's bed and stormed over to Richie.

"What the fuck did you do to him?!"

Richie's eyes widened and his expression turned angry.

"The fuck?! I didn't cause this dipshit!" Richie yelled and walked over to Eddie's bed and sat on it. He wasn't sure if he should say anything or keep his distance but he needed to do something.

"I don't believe that! He was fine when he left. Did you try something? I swear to god I will-", Bill interrupted Georgie.

"Shut up Georgie! He w-would never hurt Eddie", Bill said with a tone in his voice daring Georgie to argue.

Georgie sat back down on Bill's bed but glared at Richie the entire time. Richie was honestly getting sick of the hostility towards him but he couldn't bring himself to fight back with Eddie right there and clearly distraught. He slowly put his hand on Eddie's side and softly rubbed. Eddie stiffened at first under the blanket but relaxed and let the gentle touches try to comfort him.

Eddie fell asleep like that and Richie didn't stop rubbing his side. He was worried and wanted to make everything all better but he couldn't fix what he didn't know. His heart felt so broken for the beautiful boy next to him. Richie refused to leave him, even hours later when Bill announced that they needed to eat. Georgie was clearly pissed about leaving Richie alone with Eddie but Bill shoved him out the door and promised to bring food back for Richie.

Richie laid down next to Eddie and put his arm around the smaller boy. He was overwhelmed of the scent of Eddie. He couldn't get enough of the best smell in the world. Eddie stirred and mumbled something in his sleep and Richie moved the blanket over some.

"What?" he whispered.

Eddie mumbled again and just barely opened his eyes. His hair was a mess and his sleepy face was of the gods, he turned over facing Richie.

"Get under the blanket dumbass", Eddie mumbled, barely audible.

Richie almost snorted but managed to hold it in. Even half asleep Eddie was still feisty and he loved it. He obeyed the demand and soon had Eddie's face in his chest, one hand clinging to Richie's shirt and whispering nonsense. Richie could barely keep from laughing at how adorable his friend was. He wrapped his arms around Eddie and held him. A pleased sigh came from the smaller boy and he snuggled his head into Richie's chest before completely drifting back off to sleep. Richie was in heaven and he never wanted this moment to end.

"Hey Eds, can you hear me?" Richie whispered.

He waited a minute for a reply but the only sound he heard was the soft steady breathing from Eddie.

"Since you can't hear me, I have to say this. Eddie my love, you are so beautiful and I wish I could tell you how much I like you, how hard I'm falling in love with you. Fuck, I want to hold you forever and keep you safe. I want to be with you forever", Richie said softly as to not wake the angel he was holding.

He hoped Eddie could at least feel how much Richie cared about him. He hoped he could one day tell Eddie all these things without him being asleep.

"Bill, I don't like it. What if he takes advantage of Eddie while we are gone?" Georgie asked.

If looks could kill, Georgie would be dead. The "I will murder you" glare was keeping his little brother from speaking right away. He silently started eating his fries again and waited for the glare to end.

"You need to get a handle on th-this crush before you do something fucking stupid".

Georgie dropped the fry he was holding and stared at his older brother. What the fuck was Bill talking about. What crush? There wasn't any crush... Wait... Could that be why he was so protective and jealous over someone who was supposed to be like a brother to him? His face grew red as the realization hit him. Bill chuckled and took a bite out of his burger.

"You seriously didn't know you like Eddie?" Bill said with his mouth full.

Georgie looked away and ate another fry. He was so embarrassed. Could Eddie tell? Did the whole damn world know?!

"Its not a big deal. Calm down. He has no idea".

Georgie gave a weak smile and nodded. He felt like such a cliche and wanted to melt into a puddle and drift away but alas the human body is incapable of doing such things so he resided to drinking his milkshake.

Eddie awoke to being held by a sleeping Richie and he honestly felt so safe and cared for. He took a deep breath and Richie's scent filled his nose. Fuck he loved that smell.

"Richie?"

Richie didn't wake up when Eddie whispered so Eddie took this opportunity to get something off his chest.

"Fuck, I uh, I'm really glad you can't hear this but uh, I have a crush on you and you make me feel safe and give me butterflies and I really wish I was brave enough to try to kiss you", Eddie whispered.

At least he spoke it out loud, even with no one to hear, he still felt proud of himself for making a huge step into recovering. He smiled then snuggled into Richie's chest again. He felt the arms around him tighten just slightly and Eddie was so sure that this is what home is supposed to feel like.

Bill and Georgie finished eating and were chatting when Vic walked up to them.

"Hey Bill, do you know what happened to Eddie? He said he was going to come to group therapy today and my friend said he spoke to him but he suddenly ran away and he got worried so I promised to find out what happened".

"Hey Vic. W-we don't really know honestly. Eddie barged into our room and flung himself on his bed and covered himself in his blankets th-then fell asleep", Bill explained.

Georgie looked at the stranger and back at Bill so introductions were made and Vic sat at their table.

"I wonder what happened, Patrick said he seemed fine and then when they went to go inside Eddie freaked out. Maybe something triggered him?"

Bill nodded. He knew Eddie's triggers and didn't think any would be outside a church building but you never know.

"W-who is your friend? Is he nice?" Bill asked.

"Oh yes! Patrick is my best friend. A little odd and tends to go dark at times but he seemed to take a liking to Eddie", Vic explained.

Georgie sat and listened to the conversation. He thinks maybe this Patrick guy hurt Eddie or scared him. Maybe even made him mad but he had no proof so he kept those thoughts to himself.

"Well thanks anyway. I should get going, promised Mike I'd stop by, I think he is wanting to take me on a date", Vic said as his cheeked turned pink and a sweet smile spread across his face.

Bill grinned and internally thanked the gods for sending a cute and sweet guy for Mike. They were visually the opposite but they looked cute together, especially when they made googly eyes at each other. Bill and Georgie waved goodbye to Vic and got up to order some food for Richie so they could head back.

Bill and Georgie returned to find their friends cuddling and sleeping so naturally Bill took a couple of photos. Either group chat material or blackmail material, he would decide later. Georgie had a sad expression on his face but he looked away from Eddie's bed and tried to ignore his feelings. Bill grabbed his laptop and put on a movie for him and his brother to watch while their friends slept peacefully.

**Patrick: Hey buddy, do you have that short little dude's phone number by chance?**

**Victor Criss: Yeah I do. Why?**

**Patrick: I just wanted to check on him is all**

**Victor Criss: I guess, I don't really like doing that but I know he worried you.**

**Patrick: Yeah, like I hope he is ok**

**Victor Criss: I spoke to his roommate and they don't know anything. He went home and went to sleep.**

**Victor Criss:** _Sent contact_

**Patrick: Well hopefully he comes next week**

**Victor Criss: Yeah! I know everyone will love him**

**Patrick: Yeah, he's pretty fucking cute**

**Victor Criss: Patrick... He is not ready for any romance**

**Patrick: I need to get laid, after my failure last weekend I need some dick**

**Victor Criss: Not Eddie. He isn't ready for that either.**

**Patrick: fiiiine**

**Victor Criss: Besides, he is hung up over someone that returns those feelings so when Eddie is ready for all that, I'm pretty sure he is getting with that guy.**

**Patrick: Way to kick me when I'm down fucker**

**Victor Criss: Just trying to help. I do care about you.**

**Patrick: Then why don't we have some fun?**

**Victor Criss: Patrick, that was a one time thing. I'm kinda seeing someone now.**

**Patrick: Yeah, I know.**

**Patrick: why is it so fucking hard to find someone to fuck?!**

**Victor Criss: Because you only want twinks**

**Patrick: Ahh so you finally admit you're a twink?**

**Victor Criss: Fuck you**

Patrick stuck his phone in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lit it, then took a drag. He could get the little fairy under him again, he just knew it. He wanted to obliterate that twink. He sat on a bench across the street from the college campus and started to think of a plan on getting the feisty shorty alone. He is so furious with himself for chickening out when he saw the brand on Eddie's ribs. It took him by surprise and his own memories of being branded flooded in his head and he couldn't go through with taking what he wanted.

He touched where the letter Q would forever be seared into his skin. His brand wasn't on his ribs though. His brand was on his lower abdomen, left side, in between where his hip bone juts out and his happy trail. They had hoped it would be more painful and finally get through to him but he just laughed in their faces, even when the smell of burning flesh made a wave of nausea hit him. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction of showing pain, he just cackled about how they made him realize a new kink he had. Anything to make their attacks on him frustrate them more and hopefully cause them to give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, we are getting more into Patrick's part in this story. What do y'all think? Did you think he had a brand as well? I love hearing your thoughts on my fic, it really helps motivate me to write and it always brings a smile to my face! Thank you for reading!  
> Also y'all are welcome to talk to me on tumblr as well. My blog is fuji09.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a few days since Eddie had attempted to go to the group therapy Vic invited him to. It had been pretty uneventful for the past few days and everyone seemed to be grateful for life to become calm for a bit. Bill ended up taking Georgie home to their very angry parents.
> 
> Eddie laid in his bed, it was morning and even though his day was pretty empty, he still felt the need to get up and get the day started. Unfortunately his bed was just way too warm and comfy so he ignored that nagging voice telling him to get up. He thought about the weird interaction he had with Georgie before he was driven home by Bill earlier that morning. Something was off with him, his eyes looked pained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. I have been so drained and tired, I got new meds and a higher dose on another and my body was exhausted. Anyway I hope you enjoy.  
> Trigger Warning  
> the f slur once  
> a blowjob is given
> 
> That's pretty much it. Enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter 21**

It had been a few days since Eddie had attempted to go to the group therapy Vic invited him to. It had been pretty uneventful for the past few days and everyone seemed to be grateful for life to become calm for a bit. Bill ended up taking Georgie home to their very angry parents.

Eddie laid in his bed, it was morning and even though his day was pretty empty, he still felt the need to get up and get the day started. Unfortunately his bed was just way too warm and comfy so he ignored that nagging voice telling him to get up. He thought about the weird interaction he had with Georgie before he was driven home by Bill earlier that morning. Something was off with him, his eyes looked pained.

_Georgie stood outside of Bill's car, Bill already in the driver seat. Eddie was wishing them safe travels and telling Georgie goodbye when the younger boy suddenly wrapped his arms around Eddie and hugged him as tight as he could. Every breath he took felt like he was trying to stay calm and keep it together. Eddie was concerned but once the hug was broken Georgie looked into Eddie's eyes and tried to smile._

_"I'm glad I got to see you again. Be careful out here"._

_Eddie took both of Georgie's hands and gave them a little squeeze._

_"I always am careful, is everything alright? You seem like something is weighing you down", Eddie inquired._

_Georgie cleared his throat and squeezed Eddie's hands and then nodded his head._

_"I love you Eddie"._

_Eddie smiled at the teenager in front of him that would always be the little brother he never had._

_"I love you too Georgie! I'm sure Bill and I will come home soon for a visit. Then we can continue that video game we started last time we were home", Eddie said happily._

_Georgie nodded and felt his heart crumble just a little bit more. He knew Eddie would only see him as a brother and nothing more. He let go of Eddie's hands and turned to open the car door. He finally allowed his eyes to tear up but would not let those tears fall. Once Georgie had his seat belt buckled, Bill waved at Eddie and then drove off. Eddie waved until he couldn't see the car anymore and then headed back inside._

Georgie was silent for two hours before Bill finally spoke.

"I know having feelings for someone w-who doesn't feel th-the same w-way hurts, but it does get easier".

Georgie had been looking out the window, watching the scenery go by. He turned to look at his brother. Bill was keeping his eyes on the road but he was definitely able to listen without having to look over.

"What would you know about that? Everyone loves you. I swear everyone always threw themselves at you", Geogie snapped but Bill knew there wasn't as much heat behind it as was intended.

Bill knew that what his brother said was partly true, girls at school constantly would try to get his attention and flirt with him and he pretty much just ignored it. He wasn't interested in any of them, he actually had his eyes set on the one person he couldn't have.

"I used to have a crush on Eddie", Bill said softly.

Georgie had gone back to looking out the window but when he heard those words his head whipped back over to stare at his brother. He couldn't have heard that right.

"Its true. W-when w-we w-were younger, ugh Fuck W's! He only ever saw me as a brotherly figure and it stung but th-that sting doesn't last forever. Once he moved in w-with us and I started taking care of him, my love for him turned into th-the same love I have for you."

Georgie continued to stare at his brother like he had grown a second head. He honestly couldn't believe it, Bill, handsome, can get any girl he wants Bill, had romantic feelings for Eddie?! How did he not see this?

"How did I not see that?" Georgie asked.

Bill laughed. He knew his brother would be shocked.

"I'm good at hiding my feelings."

**Unknown Number: Hey Eddie, you doing any better?**

**Eddie: Who is this?**

**Unknown Number: Patrick, got your number from Vic. You kinda had me worried when you ran off.**

**Eddie: Shit I'm sorry. I uh, I don't want to go into details but when you called me cutie, it kinda triggered a memory that I'd rather not remember.**

**Patrick: Fuck I'm sorry.**

**Eddie: Its ok, you didn't know.**

**Patrick: Maybe I could make it up to you?**

**Eddie: Oh you don't need to! I'm perfectly fine now.**

**Patrick: Even if its me bringing you ice cream?**

**Eddie: You're playing dirty.**

**Patrick: When is a good time? Also what flavor?**

**Eddie: Well I'm free all day, my roommate is taking his little brother home and I don't have any classes. I like strawberry.**

**Patrick: Send me your dorm info and I'll swing by after I hit up the store.**

**Eddie: Ok! And thanks, you really don't have to but I appreciate it.**

**Patrick: Believe me, its my pleasure ;-)**

Eddie smiled at his phone as he sent Patrick his dorm info, he honestly didn't expect the guy to be that sweet, he looked a bit rough around the edges but looks can be deceiving. He didn't have the heart to tell him that he rarely eats ice cream, the calories and fat content alone was worrisome but he figured he could go for a run later.

Henry Bowers stood waiting for his next client to get there. He hated how late Patrick always was but he always paid extra so who was he to complain? He finally saw the taller guy walking towards him and so he got the pills ready to hand over.

"Sorry I'm late, got held up", Patrick said as he got close to Henry.

"Its fine".

Patrick took the wad of cash he had in his hand and slowly slid that hand into Henry's back pants pocket and left the cash in it. Henry's face grew bright red and he looked away as Patrick smirked. Henry handed over the pills and watched Patrick stuff them in his bag. Patrick took a few steps closer to Henry which made Henry back up until he hit the wall that he usually leaned on. Patrick licked his lips and stared down at his drug dealer. He had been trying to get into Henry's pants for months but the guy always swore he was straight. Patrick's hand reached out and grabbed the belt loops of Henry's jeans and tugged them towards himself. Henry's eyes widen and he put his hands on Patrick's chest to push him away.

"Come on dude, I know you got a hard on for me, why can't you just let me have some fun? It will feel so good", Patrick said as he looked at Henry hungrily.

"I ain't no fairy".

Patrick chuckled and slid one of his hands down at Henry's crotch and grabbed the erection that Henry tried so very hard to will away.

"Your dick says otherwise. At least let me blow you, I need more spank bank material".

Henry looked around and saw no one was around. Could it really hurt to try it? It was just a mouth, just like girls have. He could totally pretend it was a girl.

Patrick took Henry's silence as a go ahead and started undoing the button and zipper on Henry's jeans, pulled them down just a little until he was able to expose Henry's dick. Then he slowly slid down until he was on his knees and at the very start took Henry's entire dick in his mouth. The sound that came from Henry's mouth was damn near pornographic as he let his head rest on the wall behind him. He felt his dick hitting the back of Patrick's throat and he honestly had never had a blowjob that amazing. His breathing grew harder, he felt Patrick's tongue hit under the head, that sweet sensitive spot and then lick at the slit. Henry covered his mouth and tried to not come right then and there, he couldn't let himself come that fast!

Patrick looked up at Henry and smirked as best as he could with a dick in his mouth. He hummed and the vibrations felt amazing to Henry. He had grabbed Patrick's hair and the tugging was really turning Patrick on, his jeans were growing entirely too tight but he didn't touch himself. Henry looked into Patrick's eyes and he saw that dark hunger that shook Henry back to his senses. He pushed Patrick away which caused the taller guy to fall on his ass. Henry quickly shoved himself back into his jeans and quickly buttoned and zipped back up.

"Fuck off fag! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Just go!"

Patrick wiped his mouth and started laughing. Mission accomplished. He loved fucking with people and Henry was clearing having an internal conflict. He stood up and winked.

"Whatever, you were enjoying it, hit me up when you're finally ready to come. You can't stay in the closet forever", Patrick said and then turned away.

Henry was freaking out and sat on the grass and put his face in his hands. He can't believe he let that happen. He wasn't gay, he wasn't. Patrick just fucked with his head.

Patrick walked away grinning and popped a mint in his mouth then headed to the store to go buy the adorable twink he was about to see some ice cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well now didn't that take an interesting turn? What are y'all's thought on Patrick? And finally Henry is back in the story. Let me know your thoughts and feelings.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're really cute when you're nervous. You get all shy", Patrick said softly as he leaned in just a bit more.
> 
> Eddie started to panic but he was frozen in place. He didn't know what to do, obviously this guy was attractive and apparently into him, but he had feelings for a certain curly haired guy with huge glasses. He wasn't even ready to have feelings for anyone yet but here he is with another guy who seems into him and Eddie honestly has no clue on what to do. He starts to breathe a little harder and faster and when he feels Patrick's other hand that was around his shoulders slide down until his hand was just barely above Eddie's ass, Eddie jumped up, nearly headbutting Patrick.
> 
> Patrick looked a little confused and looked up at Eddie. That was definitely not what he had expected happening.
> 
> "I uh, sorry. I'm not- I should probably get started on my homework", Eddie said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning  
> sexual assault
> 
> I know this chapter will be hard for some to read and if you can't that's ok. You are always welcome to comment and I can give you a summery in case you don't want to miss anything important.

**Chapter 22**

Eddie put on some loose fitting plaid grey and black pajama pants and a band tee on. He contemplated whether to wear a hoodie or a sweater over it, it was a bit warm so maybe one of his thinner sweaters would work. He slid clothing across the bar his clothes hung on until he found a light pink sweater he had yet to wear. He slipped it on over his band tee but when he looked in the mirror it looked a bit weird so he took it off and took off the band tee. After putting the soft pink sweater back on it looked much better without a t-shirt underneath. Satisfied with how he looked he sat on the floor and played a mindless game on his phone until he heard a knock on his door. He stood up and opened the door and there was Patrick.

Patrick looked really nice, he wore dark blue skinny jeans, a grey t-shirt, and a leather jacket. Red _Converse_ shoes was the only real splash of color to be seen. He held a plastic bag with a half gallon of _Blue Bell_ strawberry ice cream in one hand and waved with the other. He had a nice smile and Eddie felt his cheeks warm up and wished he didn't blush so easily.

"Hey, come on in", Eddie said as he stepped away from the doorway to allow Patrick inside his room.

Patrick set his bag down on the floor at the foot of Eddie's bed and handed the bag of ice cream to Eddie. Eddie grabbed two plastic spoons from the box of spoons he and Bill shared so when they brought food up, there would always be utensils. Patrick sat on the floor with his back to Eddie's bed and Eddie plopped down next to him and took the lid off the carton of ice cream and handed Patrick a spoon. They both dug in and sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the frozen sugary treat. Eddie was the first to break the silence.

"I didn't realize you were bringing so much."

"Yeah well, its the tiny guys that tend to inhale the most food" Patrick said after he finished his bite of ice cream.

Eddie gave him a look and rolled his eyes. He wasn't exactly tiny but he figured to a guy over six feet tall that yeah, he was probably tiny. Once they finished eating what they could, about half the carton, Eddie put the rest in his freezer in the mini fridge. He sat back down beside Patrick and looked up at him.

"So... I'm totally going to have to go for a run later after eating all that ice cream", Eddie said with a smile.

Patrick smirked as he looked at the smaller boy, he was honestly so adorable and it made Patrick feel almost bad for wanting to destroy him. His tan skin made that pink sweater look amazing and his big brown eyes just looked so innocent, Patrick wanted to see the innocence in those eyes fade away. He felt a hunger to corrupt the beautiful boy and make him beg. The thought made Patrick's dick twitch and he shook his head to erase those thoughts before he popped a boner.

"Dude, you're so tiny you could eat the entire thing yourself and not gain a pound".

Eddie laughed which sounded nice to Patrick's ears but he quickly threw that nice thought out. He wasn't here to think nice things, he was here to take what he wanted so he could finally stop obsessing over the guy. One thing Patrick hated was obsessing over his prey for too long, it drove him nuts, and not in the good way. He would get to where he couldn't sleep and would have to get himself off every single night, sometimes more than once, just to temporarily satisfy the craving until he finally got what he wanted.

Eddie and Patrick sat and talked for a couple of hours, Eddie was clearly enjoying just hanging out and Patrick was actually a great listener. Unfortunately that was only because he liked to gain as much information as he could to possibly use against his victims. He found himself staring at Eddie on more than one occasion and when Eddie caught him, Eddie would fucking blush. Being this cute wasn't fair and Patrick's mind was battling on what he really wanted which was new. He hated it, he didn't want feelings, he wanted to induce physical and mental pain. He didn't account for Eddie being even more adorable than when he first saw him at the club. Eddie had looked fucking hot that night, now, Eddie looked fucking cute and it angered Patrick that he even thought those words. He should never think anything is cute. He doesn't do cute.

"I'm really enjoying hanging out with you", Patrick said as he slowly put his arm around Eddie.

Eddie stiffened and he wasn't sure what to do. Was Patrick just being friendly? Was he being too friendly? Patrick was impossible to read and Eddie had hoped he didn't give this guy the wrong idea.

"Yeah, me too. You're a nice friend to talk to".

There. That would show Patrick he was only interested in platonic friendship, but then he felt Patrick's fingers touch under his chin and lift up some until Eddie was looking into his eyes. He had pretty eyes and his face was pretty close to Eddie's.

"You're really cute when you're nervous. You get all shy", Patrick said softly as he leaned in just a bit more.

Eddie started to panic but he was frozen in place. He didn't know what to do, obviously this guy was attractive and apparently into him, but he had feelings for a certain curly haired guy with huge glasses. He wasn't even ready to have feelings for anyone yet but here he is with another guy who seems into him and Eddie honestly has no clue on what to do. He starts to breathe a little harder and faster and when he feels Patrick's other hand that was around his shoulders slide down until his hand was just barely above Eddie's ass, Eddie jumped up, nearly headbutting Patrick.

Patrick looked a little confused and looked up at Eddie. That was definitely not what he had expected happening.

"I uh, sorry. I'm not- I should probably get started on my homework", Eddie said.

Eddie sat on his bed and looked anywhere but at Patrick. His cheeks were on fire and he felt embarrassed. Patrick stood up and looked down at Eddie, standing in front of him, and once again used his fingers to tug Eddie's chin upward so he would look at him.

"Did I go to fast? I'm sorry. You just really do something to me", Patrick said as he slowly moved to straddle Eddie and gently push him down until Eddie's back hit the bed.

Eddie looked up at the taller guy on him and wasn't sure what to do. He didn't think Patrick would do anything to hurt him and maybe Eddie wasn't making it clear he didn't want anything to happen but his mind went blank and he couldn't think of a single thing to say. The weight of Patrick in his lap and the slight movements made Eddie start getting an erection. He felt panicked and hated how his body just seemed perfectly fine with what was going on when his mind definitely wasn't.

Patrick lightly caressed Eddie's cheek and then took his leather jacket off. He stared into those big brown eyes, pleading to slow down, but Patrick kept going. Eddie thought he was at fault for not saying no or stop, obviously Patrick thought he was into it, especially with his dick getting hard. He could understand the mixed signals and desperately tried to make his brain communicate with his mouth so he could speak again but nothing came to his mouth except Patrick's mouth. The surprised noise Eddie made as he felt Patrick's tongue touch his lips made Patrick chuckle. He felt Patrick's hand go under his sweater, touching his sensitive skin with cold fingers. Eddie rarely felt this gentle of a touch and his body responded positively but he still couldn't make himself say no.

Once Patrick finally stopped kissing him, maybe because Eddie was hesitant to kiss back, he never had kissed anyone before and he knew he wasn't that good. He didn't even know why he kissed back, he didn't want to kiss Patrick but he felt his body go with the flow. He felt Patrick lightly pinch one of his nipples and Eddie involuntarily arched his back and moaned. Patrick's eyes grew darker and he grinned.

"Ahh, you like that, good to know".

Eddie tried to think of a way to get out of this, since he couldn't make himself talk he could try pushing Patrick away, yeah that would show him he wasn't wanting this and he would stop. Pushing back at Patrick didn't make him stop though, instead he started to bite and suck at Eddie's neck and palmed Eddie's bulge over his pajama pants. So obviously pushing someone away didn't give off the red light like he thought it was supposed to. Maybe pushing away meant do more? Eddie had no idea how these things worked. He felt a harder bite on his neck and he whimpered but soon felt Patrick's tongue licking it soothingly.

Eddie then noticed that Patrick was unbuttoning and unzipping his pants and pushed them down a little until his dick sprung free. He took Eddie's hand and wrapped it around his dick, keeping his hand over Eddie's. He tried to make Eddie move his hand up and down but Eddie stayed in place. He had shut his eyes but when he felt Patrick move his hand away he opened his eyes and that's when he noticed the branding on the taller boy, near his happy trail and low over his pelvis. Eddie gasped and Patrick looked towards where Eddie was staring and then realized Eddie had seen the branding.

"They branded you too? But with the letter Q. They branded me with the letter F", Eddie said as he lifted his sweater to show Patrick the branding on his ribs.

Patrick felt all the color drain from his face. Flashes of the moment they shoved a hot piece of metal into his flesh made Patrick close his eyes and take deep breaths until it stopped. He hated when that happened. Just like last time when he was on top of Eddie. He felt Eddie's hand on his cheek and when he opened his eyes Eddie had the sweetest, most understanding look in his eyes.

"Hey, its ok. I get those flashbacks too. You're ok. You're safe", Eddie said in a soothing tone.

Patrick grew angry. He was seriously assaulting the guy and his victim is comforting him?! What the fuck? Patrick grabbed both of Eddie's wrists and pulled them above Eddie's head and held them there. He leaned close to Eddie's face, breathing heavily.

"How are you so nice?!"

Eddie looked confused. He wasn't sure why Patrick was upset and he thought maybe he said the wrong thing.

"The fuck man! I'm literally fucking taking advantage of you and you're comforting me?" Patrick yelled with tears building up in the corner of his eyes.

Eddie looked Patrick up and down as best as he could.

"Its my fault. I didn't say no or stop, I kissed you back because I didn't know what else to do. I froze and that sent you the wrong signals. I'm sorry", Eddie said.

Patrick was about to have an aneurysm. This kid didn't get what was happening. How fucking naive is he?

"I know you don't fucking want it! You didn't want it at the club either but your stupid fucking brand had to ruin my plans!"

Eddie stiffened. The club. Patrick spoke of the club and that's when it hit him. He got more flashes of that night and he saw Patrick's face. He remembered him. He was the assailant! Eddie's expression became scared and he tried to wiggle free.

"There you fucking go! Finally you get it!" Patrick yelled. His eyes looked wild and he started to pull Eddie's pants and underwear down while his other hand still held both of Eddie's wrists above his head. He saw the scars on Eddie's thighs and the words carved.

"Holy shit you have even more scars! So sexy baby".

Eddie kept struggling and tears started to fall. He felt so stupid and terrified. He wished Bill would be back that day but Eddie was all alone. He felt Patrick flip him over, now he laid on his front, hands behind his back and ass exposed. He yelped as he felt Patrick's hand touch his ass then something warm and wet hit his hole. The realization that Patrick had spit on his asshole for lubrication not only grossed him out but he knew what was about to happen. He felt the tip of Patrick's dick touch his hole and he started to beg.

"Please Patrick, stop! Don't do this! I don't want this! Please!" Eddie babbled.

Patrick laughed and started to apply pressure. That pressure did not feel good to Eddie at all, in fact it hurt. The tip had gotten past the ring of muscle and Eddie continued to cry and beg.

"Please stop! That hurts!"

Suddenly the room door swung open and there stood Richie in the doorway. Patrick had stopped pushing himself inside Eddie and stared at Richie confused. Eddie looked at the doorway and smiled.

"Richie! Please help me!"

Richie was at Patrick in an instant and he gently pulled Patrick out, as to not hurt Eddie, and then shoved Patrick hard to the ground. Eddie stood up and started pulling his pants up and watched as Richie started to punch Patrick in the face and yelling. He was on top of Patrick, straddling him and making sure he could not get back up. Each punch seemed to get harder than the last, blood ran from Patrick's nose, most likely broken, bruises already forming around the eyes, his lip busted, and his cheeks bled a little as well. Patrick was taken by surprise and just laid there taking the beating.

"How. Fucking. Dare. You. Hurt. My. FRIEND!"

Doors in the hallway opened and heads poked out, Richie was yelling and the whole hallway could hear the fight. Stan was one of the people who poked their heads out the room door and when he saw what was happened he ran to Eddie's room and dragged Richie off of Patrick, he still kept swinging and Stan had to hold his arms down and talk softly to him and run his fingers through Richie's hair to settle his friend down. Richie started to fall to the floor so Stan slowly slid to the floor as well and held Richie who was now crying. Patrick groaned but made no attempt to try to sit up. Eddie stood there shocked and crying. When Richie finally calmed down he sprang to his feet.

"Eddie!" he yelled as he wrapped his arms around Eddie and held him tight. Eddie returned the hug and they both cried.

"Thank you", Eddie whispered.

After one of the college employees that worked down at the front desk of the dorm was finished getting the story from Eddie and Richie, the police had arrived. Patrick had sat up and the front desk employee tried to get his side but Patrick refused to speak. The police spoke to Richie, then Eddie, and then attempted to speak to Patrick before they got a lovely middle finger. Patrick was hauled up to stand and when confronted by an officer he laughed and started to brag about how easy it was to take advantage of that twink. Handcuffs were put on him after Eddie said yes to pressing charges. Patrick's bag was collected and after inspection, drugs were found so that added another charge.

Richie asked if he would be charged with beating Patrick and the cop just shrugged and told him he didn't see any evidence that Richie had done anything. Richie was relieved that the cops were looking the other way, they understood Richie was defending his friend, maybe he went a little too far, although according to Richie not far enough.

Eddie sat on his bed with Richie next to him holding him. The adrenaline rush was going away, leaving them feeling a little nauseous. The last cop explained that Eddie needed to go to the hospital and have a rape kit done. Eddie shook his head and refused but with Richie and Stan's coaxing he finally agreed. The cop gave Eddie and Richie a ride to the hospital, Stan said he would call Mike and get a ride up there and would be there soon.

The hospital was cold. Eddie hated hospitals. He trembled and Richie took off his zip hoodie and put it on Eddie. It was swallowing Eddie but it was warm and smelled like Richie. Eddie was taken back to have the rape kit done, Richie promising to be in his room when Eddie got back. Eddie tried to block out everything the doctors did.

Once they were done and he got back to his room, he found that not only was Richie there but also Stan, Mike, and Bev. Eddie walked to the bed and laid down, only wearing a hospital gown and Richie's hoodie and Richie put blankets on him to try to keep him warm. Stan, Mike, and Bev sat in chairs and Richie got into the bed next to Eddie and just held him. Eddie didn't say anything, he just cried.

Later that night when visiting hours ended, Stan, Mike, and Bev had to leave but Eddie begged for Richie to be allowed to stay which the doctor allowed, he was under the impression that Richie was Eddie's boyfriend and neither boy corrected it. Richie sang to Eddie softly, played with his hair, and just held him for most of the night until he fell asleep. Eddie had long since passed out but Richie tried to stay up and make sure Eddie was fine and didn't have any nightmares. His knuckles were killing him but he ignored the pain, only focused on Eddie. He vowed to protect Eddie for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go, this was a hard chapter to write and I'm sorry if its hard to read. I will give y'all extra fluff next chapter to make up for it.
> 
> Let me know what you think and if you think I need to add to the trigger warning. All I put was sexual assault and that covers it but if anyone feels I need to specify anything then please let me know.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey sleeping beauty", Richie whispered.
> 
> Eddie's cheeks flushed and he tried to playfully glare but it came out more amused than annoyed.
> 
> "How are you feeling Eddie?" Bill asked.
> 
> "Sore and exhausted. When did you get here?"
> 
> "Like twenty minutes ago, Stan is on his way w-with coffee, should be here soon", Bill said.
> 
> Richie cheered at that and Eddie smiled, coffee was very much needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all might not like the turn this goes at the very end but as a lot of people know, assault victims respond in different ways and none of those ways are wrong, its how the mind protects itself from more pain.

**Chapter 23**

Sunlight invaded Eddie's hospital room and woke Richie from his restless sleep. Eddie was still fast asleep so Richie refused to move and let his friend sleep as long as he could. Richie's knuckles were purple and red, the pain was worse today but he didn't regret his actions. A doctor walked in holding a clipboard, Richie tried to sit up slightly but with Eddie on his arm he couldn't move much.

"Hiya doc, Eds is still sleeping".

"I see. Well you're the boyfriend? Then I'll just give you the update. Thankfully there isn't much damage physically. There are some tears but they will heal and we can prescribe some painkillers depending on how bad the pain is. He was given medication in case the assailant had any STD's and the rape kit was handed over to the police, it showed evidence of assault and any DNA found will prove who it was, Eddie said no condom was used so that helps his case. Now I have his medical history and given the extensive mental and physical abuse he endured in the past, I highly recommend he speak to one of our counselors, he will be given a psych evaluation, we have to when we see there has been recent self-harm. Once he is cleared of not being a danger to himself or others then he will be released, until then he will have to stay here. Any questions?" The doctor said before Richie could get in a word.

Richie just stared and tried to take in everything the doctor had said. He knew Eddie's past was bad but he didn't know how bad, to what degree, he just knew the big picture of it. He worried that the small boy cuddled up to him would get worse mentally, he had been doing so well and fucking Patrick had to ruin it.

"Uh yeah, doc..." Richie squinted at the doctor's nametag, "Dr. Bennett, um that was a lot to take in after just waking up and I haven't had my ADHD meds since yesterday morning so my mind is kinda all over the place. I will probably forget most of that, would you be able to come back later once Eddie is awake?"

Dr. Bennett nodded and walked out, leaving Richie and Eddie alone again. Now would be a great time for Bill to get back. He knew Bill was driving back today and he had already texted Bill to let him know to go to the hospital. Half of him hoped Eddie would wake soon, but the other half hoped he would sleep for a few more hours.

Bill arrived at the hospital and rushed into Eddie's room but was greeted with Richie pressing a finger to his lips to signal to be quiet. Bill calmed himself and walked in.

"How is he?"

"Honestly, after the doctor spoke to me I'm kinda worried", Richie admitted.

Richie explained everything that happened, well everything he knew, he tried to remember everything he heard Eddie say to the police because he was not going to make Eddie repeat it unless needed. Bill listened without speaking a word, he felt angry, he felt to blame for not being home, but he mostly felt worried. He saw what that conversion camp did to him, he can't imagine how much of a backslide this would be after all the progress that was made.

Bill sent a text to Jerome, he wanted the man to be prepared for anything once Eddie was able to go back to seeing him again. Eddie started to awake as Bill hit send and both boys waited for Eddie to fully awaken. Richie thought he looked so precious and innocent, like an angel, his big brown eyes coming into focus as he looked up at Richie.

"Hey sleeping beauty", Richie whispered.

Eddie's cheeks flushed and he tried to playfully glare but it came out more amused than annoyed.

"How are you feeling Eddie?" Bill asked.

"Sore and exhausted. When did you get here?"

"Like twenty minutes ago, Stan is on his way w-with coffee, should be here soon", Bill said.

Richie cheered at that and Eddie smiled, coffee was very much needed. They didn't have to wait long, Stan popped in a couple minutes later and handed out everyone's drinks.

"Mike said he would come by after his shift, might bring Vic", Stan said.

Eddie stiffened and almost choked on his coffee. Richie softly patted his back until the coughing stopped.

The doctor had come back to give Eddie all of the information he had given Richie earlier and Eddie nodded, he knew the drill for a lot of it. A nurse brought him food but he wouldn't touch it. He gave Richie the cookie, Bill the pancakes since he hadn't eaten anything since last night, and Stan the apple. Richie tried to get him to eat the jell-o but Eddie refused. He couldn't even think of food, when he was stressed, it made it so much harder to try to eat so he usually refused.

"Thanks for the coffee Stan", Eddie said softly.

Richie had wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, letting the smaller boy lean against his chest and then started played with his hair. He wanted to help Eddie stay as calm as possible. Eddie was more than happy to indulge in the sweet touches, even when the panic from a boy touching him was in the back of his mind. It was just Richie, this was perfectly acceptable. He was comforting him.

"I dunno about this Mike, I feel like this is my fault, I don't think he will want to see me".

Mike placed his hand on Vic's cheek and smiled.

"He knows you had nothing to do with it, you didn't know", Mike said soothingly.

Vic felt horrible, he blamed himself. He gave Patrick Eddie's number. He trusted a psychopath. He couldn't see right though the facade. Vic felt like a shitty friend and had cried all night in the arms of Mike. He felt like he didn't deserve Mike holding him and whispering sweet things to him, he felt bad he kept Mike up all night when he had a morning shift at the cafe. Vic felt guilty for feeling this way because he was making this about him and it was about Eddie. Mike tried hard to keep Vic from spiraling, he knew what it looked like and he would do everything he could to help.

Which is why he had packed lunches for everyone at the hospital, Eddie and Bill's favorite cafe meals, what he knew Richie and Stan liked, and something for himself and Vic. He grew up believing in the comfort of food and the healing powers of a nice hot meal. Vic had helped him load it all in his car and now was unloading it all at the hospital. He wanted to just stay outside but Mike would'n't have it. Vic was not at fault.

"We come baring the gift of food!" Mike said excitedly as he and Vic walked into Eddie's room.

The happy faces of everyone as they saw all the food was priceless to the chef in Mike. He always fed Bill and the times Eddie would eat, Eddie as well. He knew Eddie couldn't resist his mac and cheese so, yes he played dirty and brought Eddie just that, but that was only because he knew Eddie needed to eat and he knew Eddie hadn't eaten today. Vic passed out the boxes of food, each one with a name on it and when he handed a box to Eddie, he smiled, hoping Eddie didn't toss him out.

"Thanks Vic", Eddie said softly without looking at him.

Vic felt relief but also guilt. He knew that Eddie thanked him out of politeness but he could feel Eddie really didn't feel comfortable. Who could blame him? Not Vic.

"Eds! Bev and Ben will come by in a few hours!" Richie yelled excitedly and was shushed by Stan.

Eddie giggled at the sheepish look on Richie's face as he realized how loud he had gotten. He didn't have the heart to tell Richie not to call him Eds. The space in the room was limited but they made due. Thankfully the window had a window seat and there were four chairs in the room so Ben and Bev had a spot for when they got there. Eddie felt loved, he had people who truly cared about him. He felt the most love from Richie, he stayed when he didn't have to, he slept in the uncomfortable hospital bed with Eddie and stayed up most of the night to make sure he was doing fine.

Later a nurse walked to check on Eddie and give him some news.

"Mr. Kaspbrak, we received a phone call from someone who claims to be your mother, Sonia".

All the color drained from Eddie's face and he looked terrified. His breathing started to become erratic and tears started to stream down his face and Richie tried to calm him down.

"Can I speak to you outside the room?" Bill said as he stood up and grabbed the nurse by the arm and pulled her out of the room.

"I know its not your fault but th-that bitch is not Eddie's mom. She lost th-that privilege the minute she started to abuse him. My mom is Eddie's mom, and Eddie w-was emancipated in high school so Sonia has no legal ground to even th-think about Eddie. Make sure she is not allowed in th-this place w-while w-we are here or th-there w-will be a lawsuit th-this hospital w-won't recover from", Bill said in a low voice.

The nurse seemed a bit nervous but she nodded her head and walked away. Bill shook his head and clenched his fists. Fucking Sonia. How did she even know Eddie was there?! He walked back into Eddie's room to find Richie holding Eddie as he laid on his side curled in the fetal position. Richie was whispering in Eddie's ear and it seemed to be helping. His face wasn't white as a ghost anymore and he had stopped crying. He was shaking but thankfully the panic attack didn't get to come out in full force.

"Don't w-worry Eddie, I took care of it. Nothing to fear, th-that bitch w-won't get anywhere near you", Bill stated.

Eddie nodded his head and sniffled.

When Bev and Ben arrived it felt right. Everyone was together and really helping Eddie forget about all the bad shit that was happening. They distracted him, told embarrassing stories, mainly about Richie, to which Eddie almost had an asthma attack from laughing so hard.

"Oh and I have to tell you about the time Richie stuffed so many marshmallows in his mouth that we had to take him to the hospital to get them removed!" Bev said while laughing.

"Bevvie! No! Let me have some dignity!" Richie begged.

"Sure Rich, he had stuffed thirty jumbo marshmallows in his mouth. There, now at least you sound slightly cool for that feat."

Eddie had been given the psych evaluation and passed it, he knew how to do that since the first time he had to take one. He was released and given some pain medication with instructions to come back if his pain worsened or if he felt ill. Eddie was relieved to go back to his room and everyone had broken off and said their goodbyes once they all got back to the dorms. Richie, Eddie, Bill, and Stan headed upstairs and broke off once they got to Richie and Stan's room.

"Goodnight Eddie dear, I shall see you tomorrow", Richie said moving his arms in a grand gesture and bowed causing Eddie to giggle.

Stan shook his head and grabbed Richie by the back of his shirt.  
"Come on prince charming."

Bill and Eddie walked into their room and Eddie's face fell as the room still looked exactly the same as he had left it. Bill noticed and quickly grabbed pajamas for Eddie and started to take the sheets off Eddie's bed and put on new clean sheets. Eddie took a shower and came back to a nice clean bed and the room straightened up to where you couldn't tell anything happened. The spots where blood had landed from Patrick being beaten, Bill put a small rug over it to hide it until he could clean it. Bill was already in bed asleep so Eddie quietly walked to his bed when he noticed a leather jacket on his desk chair. He picked it up and instantly smelled the scent of Patrick. He felt scared but then oddly he felt unexplained comfort. He put the jacket on and climbed into bed and fell asleep thinking how fucked up he is for wanting the scent and feel of Patrick's jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end to this chapter is in no way saying Eddie is ok with what happened, he is dealing with the trauma and sometimes those who have this trauma seek out those like their abusers or things that remind them of their assailants. His trauma is still valid no matter how he responds to it. Some become sex repulsed and some become hyper sexual. None of these responses are wrong.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The entire group had tried to get Eddie out of his bed. Richie sent him texts every day, nothing pushy, just letting Eddie know that even in his absence, Eddie was still on his mind. He sent stupid memes, funny things that happened during Richie's day, selfies of him doing ridiculous things or just spending time with the others, and of course many many jokes. He never felt bad when Eddie didn't reply, he understood his friend needed time. He just wished he could hold Eddie, wrap him in a blanket, and give him hot cocoa, yes Richie was quite whipped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope y'all enjoy this chapter. It was fun to write.  
> Trigger warning  
> There is a bit of sexual content but nothing really graphic. Making out, handjob, touches...

**Chapter 24**

Sadly for Richie he did not see Eddie tomorrow, in fact Eddie had evaded everyone for a week. He only left his room to shower and always in the middle of the night so everyone else was asleep, he messaged all his professors that he was ill and he wouldn't be in class for that week and possibly the next. He sent a text to Jerome saying he couldn't make it to their next session for he was too sick. Eddie wasn't dumb, he knew Jerome would know it was a lie but of course Jerome was understanding and told Eddie to take care of himself and feel better soon.

Bill was concerned for his roommate but he never got the chance to speak to Eddie. Every time he went into their room, Eddie would pretend to be asleep. No matter the time of day, Eddie would always be taking a nap. He even had Stan over once, Eddie pretending to be asleep, and Bill truly believed Eddie was asleep so he spoke to Stan about how worried he was.

"I don't know w-what to do, he is somehow always asleep w-when I come in, I have played music, w-watched movies and he never w-wakes up. I'm scared and I know he's not eating. Maybe I should call the hospital..." Bill trailed off.

Stan rubbed Bill's shoulder sympathetically, he really wasn't the best at these things.

"I don't think you need to do that, but honestly, Eddie probably isn't _always_ asleep when you are here. I'm willing to bet that he just doesn't feel like talking to anyone. He's been through a lot. I agree this probably isn't the healthiest thing, you might end up needing to call your parents, maybe he needs a parental figure." Stan suggested.

Bill took Stan's words to heart and decided if within the next few days if Eddie still hadn't spoken to any of them he would call his parents. Bill was endlessly supportive of Eddie but this was becoming too much and clearly not healthy. He just hoped Eddie wouldn't be angry, unaware that Eddie had heard everything. Eddie felt bad, he didn't want to worry anyone, he just wanted to be alone and just not have to talk about anything. He was too exhausted to act normal, or at least normal for Eddie, he didn't even feel the urge to self-harm, he was that tired.

The entire group had tried to get Eddie out of his bed. Richie sent him texts every day, nothing pushy, just letting Eddie know that even in his absence, Eddie was still on his mind. He sent stupid memes, funny things that happened during Richie's day, selfies of him doing ridiculous things or just spending time with the others, and of course many many jokes. He never felt bad when Eddie didn't reply, he understood his friend needed time. He just wished he could hold Eddie, wrap him in a blanket, and give him hot cocoa, yes Richie was quite whipped.

The day after Bill and Stan talked, Richie decided to try a new approach. Asking Bill what snacks Eddie could not resist, he decided to spend almost fifty dollars on any and everything Eddie would eat, even when he was worried about calories. So Richie left the store with _Twizzlers, Diet Sunkist,_ some weird Japanese candy Richie had never heard of, _Pocky,_ chocolate croissants, and he even stopped at _Starbucks_ to grab Eddie a cinnamon shortbread latte that was apparently the new flavor that Eddie was dying to try. He grabbed himself a vanilla latte and then walked back the dorms. He hoped that Eddie would let him in. He spent quite a bit of money to try to help get Eddie out of rock bottom.

Richie knocked obnoxiously loud and even yelled knock knock each time he knocked on the door. It was infuriating to Eddie and all he wanted to do was sleep. He covered his head with his pillow to try to drown out the sound. Maybe if he ignored Richie, he would go away.

As if Richie could read his mind he heard Richie yell, "I'm not leaving Eds, so open up or I'll keep knocking and yelling!" Eddie swore under his breath and got out of bed. His hair was beyond bedhead and he looked rough. He opened the door and crossed his arms.

"What?!"

Richie shyly held up the bag of snacks and handed one of the lattes to Eddie.

"I know you haven't eaten all week, I asked Bill what snacks were your favorite and went out and bought them," Richie blushed as he explained himself.

Eddie's facial expression softened.

"Thanks Richie, but I really don't feel like eating. I just want to go back to sleep."

Richie's face fell a little but he handed the bag of snacks to Eddie.

"Well here, keep them in case you change your mind. It was nice seeing you Eddie." Richie said trying to keep the sadness out of his voice but Eddie heard it.

"Wait, you can come in. I'm sorry, here you are being really nice and I'm being a dick".

Richie's face lit up and his eyes sparkled. He walked in and Eddie shut the door. He motioned for Richie to sit on the bed and after both of them were sitting against the headboard, side by side but space in between them, Eddie looked through the bag.

"Damn, Bill really gave you my ultimate snack list, huh? This had to have been a lot of money, you really didn't need to spend money on me", Eddie said softly.

He felt a lump in his throat and he knew tears were threatening to well up. He would not cry, even if this was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for him. Even when Eddie flat out ignored Richie, he was still there treating Eddie like he hung the moon. It was overwhelming but Eddie couldn't bring himself to hate it. He glanced over at Richie and noticed the taller boy was looking at anything but Eddie and was blushing furiously. He picked at the lid on his latte, always needing to fidget.

"Its no problem. I''ll always do stuff to help you feel better, and you're worth the money."

Eddie had to strain to hear Richie's words. That was literally the softest he had ever heard the loudmouthed boy speak and it tugged at his heart. Why was Richie so sweet? He didn't deserve Richie. He felt like a waste of time to someone as wonderful as Richie. Richie deserved better, he deserved the fucking world and yet he looked at Eddie like he was the whole world. Eddie felt his chest tighten so he grabbed his inhaler. He took a puff and when it didn't help he took another. He looked at his inhaler confused. Why was it not working? Richie watched a little puzzled and Eddie felt the tightness even more. He tossed it back on his table, oh well.

Eddie picked up some of the candy and ate it. Richie smiled and grabbed a _Twizzler._ Eddie picked one of them too and started to poke Richie in the face with it. Richie made silly faces and after about five minutes Richie ended up biting the _Twizzler_ Eddie had been poking him with and began to chew with a smile. Eddie giggled and ate the other half, not even thinking about the fact he was eating after Richie.

Hours later, the boys had their sugar crash. They had watched movies and fell fast asleep. Richie was laying on his back, glasses still on, and Eddie was on his side facing Richie. He had grabbed Richie's arm in his sleep and was still holding it, his face cuddled up to it. Eddie snored softly and finally had a restful sleep. Richie briefly woke up and when he saw Eddie his chest felt warm. He smiled and very carefully grabbed the blanket that was on his legs and managed to slide it over so it covered Eddie. He heard the smaller boy sigh in contentment and nuzzled his face against Richie's arm. Richie's brain short circuited and he forgot how to breathe for a moment. Once his brain began working again he kissed the top of Eddie's head and rolled on his side, careful not to move the arm Eddie was holding and Richie fell asleep at a weird angle that he knew would make his shoulder hurt after he woke up but he couldn't bring himself to care. He looked at the boy he was definitely in love with and fell back asleep with the sweet innocent face of Eddie asleep being the last thing he saw before closing his eyes.

Bill opened the door to his room and saw Richie and Eddie asleep. He quietly flipped the light off and shut the door. He wandered to Stan's room and knocked. Stan opened the door and smiled.

"Hey, come in. What's up?" Stan asked as he and Bill went to sit on his bed.

"Richie. He is w-with Eddie. Th-they are asleep but Eddie actually let him in. I honestly can't believe it but I'm so happy. I w-was going to call my parents tonight and now it looks like Eddie is making progress."

"That's great Bill! You can stay over if you want until Richie gets back, or even if he comes back", Stan rushed the last part out.

Bill smiled and nodded then leaned in to kiss Stan softly. Stan gasped but melted in the kiss and put his hand on the back of Bill's neck and pulled him closer. Bill was more than happy to comply to Stan's pulling and he slowly pushed Stan down until they were laying down with Bill on top of Stan. Their kiss became more heated and Stan really hoped that Richie wouldn't come back for a while. Bill and Stan had not had sex yet and Stan was hoping that maybe this would be it, they would finally go past making out. Considering what Stan felt against his thigh, he really hoped Bill was wanting the same thing.

_Eddie felt hands roaming his body. He wasn't afraid though, in fact the touches felt good. The next thing he knew he was kissing someone, someone who really made Eddie feel wanted. Eddie opened his eyes and saw large glasses and black curly hair. Eddie's eyes widened as he realized it was Richie. How was this happening? He felt himself about to moan and tried to hold it in. He felt Richie start kissing his jaw then down his neck. He felt Richie's mouth sucking and biting his neck and he knew there would be marks. He felt Richie's hands move up and down his back then slowly started going lower until they firmly gripped his ass. Eddie gasped and he felt his body responding to it. He really liked the way that felt. He started to grind against Richie and he heard Richie moan and that really got Eddie feeling hot. He whimpered and felt Richie start grinding as well and his hands were in Eddie's hair and lightly tugging. Eddie was in pure bliss and he felt a heat pooling low in his abdomen. Once Richie's hands were under his shirt feeling his chest and moving slowly down until they hit the top of his pajama pants, Eddie nodded. Richie's large hand dipped under Eddie's pajama pants and boxers and Eddie felt the cool skin on his dick as Richie wrapped his hand around it. He felt Richie start pumping his hand up and down and Eddie really felt that heat begin to build until-_

Eddie moaned loudly and shot up and slapped his hand over his mouth. Richie woke up startled and sat up looking worried.

"Eds, you ok?"

Eddie felt his face blush and he was honestly so confused. What the fuck had happened?

"What the fuck?!" Eddie yelled.

Richie looked around, unsure what happened.

"Hey look at me, what's wrong?" Richie asked as he cupped his hand on Eddie's cheek.

Eddie shook his hand away and wanted to cry. He was honestly so confused and really embarrassed. How the fuck does he even explain that to Richie? How was that even possible?

"I don't know! It doesn't make sense!"

Eddie could feel the wet spot in his boxers and it started getting cold and even drying a little. It felt so gross and he wanted to change but then he would have to explain to Richie why. He started to shake and a few tears slipped down his face. Richie looked really worried and grabbed his phone.

"I'm gonna call Bill-"

"NO!" Eddie yelled and slapped Richie's phone out of his hand.

Richie looked at Eddie with wide eyes. What on earth was going on? Did he have a nightmare? Why doesn't he want Bill?

"Eddie, you're really scaring me. You can tell me anything. What's wrong?"

Eddie groaned and moved the blanket off him. He pointed at the wet spot that had seeped through his boxers and now his pajama pants. He was mortified, absolutely mortified.

"Oh! Its ok. Just go clean up and change. No judgement here. Happens to all of us", Richie said as his cheeks grew a pink tint.

"What do you mean? Why did this happen? I was asleep and this has never happened before!"

Richie looked at Eddie like he was crazy. All guys had this happen. How in the world can Eddie just now be having his first wet dream?

"You mean you have _never_ had a wet dream before?" Richie asked almost in awe.

Eddie squirmed, the name sounded gross and he was really hating being alive at the moment.

"No this has never happened to me!"

So that was how as Eddie was cleaning himself up and changing clothes, Richie had his eyes closed and explaining to Eddie what a wet dream was and why it happened. He never thought he would have to tell an adult man about this but life is weird that way. He felt Eddie sit back on the bed and he opened his eyes. Eddie was still blushing madly and couldn't even look Richie in the eye.

"I've never had a sex dream before either..."

Richie felt so bad that Eddie had to learn about this in a really awkward way but it could have been worse, could have been around parents or in class.

"Well I just hope I was amazing in that dream Eds", Richie teased and winked. He hoped that would ease the tension and make Eddie feel better but the look on Eddie's face said the opposite. Eddie's eyes widen and his cheeks grew even more red and his ears started to blush as well.

"Wait... your sex dream _was_ about me? I was just kidding but are you serious?" Richie asked shocked.

Eddie wouldn't answer or look at Richie and there was his answer. Richie was internally combusting and he was for the first time, totally at a loss for words. His brain was blank and he wasn't even sure if his body was still functioning properly. Was he still breathing? Was he blinking?

Eddie groaned and covered his face with his hands, "Can you please leave? I want to be alone", Eddie's words were muffled by his hands.

Richie rubbed the back of his neck and stood up.

"Uh yeah, I'll see you later."

Eddie didn't remove his hands from his face until he heard his door close. Well that was it, he could never show his face to Richie ever again. He wanted to melt into a puddle and disappear. Richie had explained it was normal but he felt so disgusted with himself. Richie was right next to him in bed and he creamed his pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so bad putting Eddie through that awkwardness but we all have embarrassing things happen. Let me know what y'all thought. How was the bit of sexual content? Was it any good? I've never written anything like that before and I'm a little nervous is isn't that good.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A knock on the door interrupted him, he was so close to being done with all his work but a small break would be nice so he stood up and opened the door. Standing there was Richie with a shy smile.
> 
> "Hey", Richie said softly.
> 
> Eddie felt his heart burst with warmth but he also felt embarrassment wash over him. He rubbed the back of his neck taking in the beautiful boy in front of him. Richie was wearing purple skinny jeans, a black ripped Misfits t-shirt that just barely touched the top of his jeans, slip on Vans, his nails were painted black, and he was wearing black eyeliner. He looked fucking hot and Eddie felt a raging blush form on his cheeks and spread down his neck and chest, his ears also beginning to feel warm as well. Of course Richie comes by looking like a rock star while Eddie looked like a hot mess, emphasis on mess. His hair was all sorts of sticking up everywhere, he wore jean shorts that came to mid thigh, a thin over-sized white t-shirt, and a blue and black flannel. Also didn't help that Eddie was maybe just a little bit drunk.
> 
> "Well fuck".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So towards the end things get a little steamy but nothing nsfw. Mostly just tension.  
> I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, it as fun to write.

**Chapter 25**

Eddie sat on the couch in Jerome's office telling him everything that happened, the assault, the hospital stay, Patrick's jacket, the week of staying in bed alone, the sweet gesture Richie had made days ago, and the unfortunate embarrassing wet dream right next to Richie. Jerome typed up notes and listened intently, he hadn't spoken a word since Eddie started to explain all that had happened to him. Eddie would talk a little fast at times but Jerome could understand him.

Once Eddie stopped talking, he was breathing a bit hard and his eyes were wide. They both sat in silence for a bit, Eddie calming down, and Jerome taking it all in.

"Well Eddie, the first thing I think we should cover is the assault and the thing you mentioned about Patrick's jacket."

Eddie squirmed and wrung his hands, he had a feeling Jerome wouldn't miss that last part but he could only hope.

"I uh, didn't mean to blurt out that I slept in Patrick's jacket. I don't know why I did it."

Jerome looked at Eddie, his eyes always kind and comforting. Eddie loved that about his therapist, but right now he felt mortified and wanted to sink into the couch and disappear. Maybe he watched _Get Out_ one time too many.

"Everyone is different when they handle these things. Some coping mechanisms are healthy, some aren't so much, but other than shutting yourself away you have been doing fine. I definitely want to come back to that because that was very unhealthy, you said you didn't eat for a week and that is concerning considering your eating disorder, but finding a little comfort in Patrick's jacket, it smelling like him, your mind will do what it can to protect itself, when you are in that much pain, your mind will try to rewrite it or completely block it. As long as you aren't trying to find this guy and be around him or stay in contact, then I don't see it being really bad. Some victims will actively search for their abusers or other people just like them because its what they know so they find comfort in what they know, the unknown is what is more scary to them." Jerome took a deep breath after saying all that.

Eddie was deep in thought for a moment, he knew the words his therapist spoke were true but he found little comfort. He just wanted to be normal and the moment he starts to feel somewhat better, he gets even worse.

"Eddie, would you like time to think on all that and we can talk about Richie instead?"

"No!" Eddie yelped then blushed. "I mean, I can never look Richie in the face again so why talk about it?"

Jerome chuckled and Eddie started looking at the floor that just became incredibly interesting.

"I know that you know that isn't the case. Richie was kind and walked you through it. He didn't tease, and took it well. I think you should take that into account before writing him off. He cares about you and I know you have romantic feelings for him, and well now I know you also have sexual feelings for him".

"Eww don't say it like that! Fuck!" Eddie said a bit loudly.

Once Eddie was back in his dorm room from his awkward therapy session he flopped on his bed and curled in a ball. Could he realistically find out how to gain the power of invisibility so he could disappear? Probably not but he wasn't against trying.

"Biiiiiiill, I need alcohol", Eddie grumbled into his pillow.

Bill being the best brother/roommate ever, tossed him a bottle of coconut rum he had stashed under his bed.

"Bill, I love you," Eddie said then took a swig from the bottle.

Bill laughed and started to work on some homework while Eddie sipped on the rum and worked on finishing a paper that was due soon. He typed until his fingers cramped, took a break by throwing balls of paper at Bill, then began typing some more. After two hours, his paper was done and he only had a little bit of the extra credit he asked for to bring up his one bad grade. Bill ended up leaving for a while to grab some energy drinks and get some air, he asked if Eddie wanted to come with but Eddie declined, he really wanted to finish up this last bit of homework.

A knock on the door interrupted him, he was so close to being done with all his work but a small break would be nice so he stood up and opened the door. Standing there was Richie with a shy smile.

"Hey", Richie said softly.

Eddie felt his heart burst with warmth but he also felt embarrassment wash over him. He rubbed the back of his neck taking in the beautiful boy in front of him. Richie was wearing purple skinny jeans, a black ripped _Misfits_ t-shirt that just barely touched the top of his jeans, slip on _Vans,_ his nails were painted black, and he was wearing black eyeliner. He looked fucking hot and Eddie felt a raging blush form on his cheeks and spread down his neck and chest, his ears also beginning to feel warm as well. Of course Richie comes by looking like a rock star while Eddie looked like a hot mess, emphasis on mess. His hair was all sorts of sticking up everywhere, he wore jean shorts that came to mid thigh, a thin over-sized white t-shirt, and a blue and black flannel. Also didn't help that Eddie was maybe just a little bit drunk.

"Well fuck".

Richie looked at him with an amused curiosity and tilted his head trying to figure out the smaller boy. He grinned as he the scent of alcohol hit him and he noticed how Eddie swayed just a bit.

"Did I interrupt some partying?" Richie asked.

Eddie giggled and shook his head but he gestured for Richie to come in so Richie walked in and sat on Eddie's bed. Eddie stood in front of Richie, just looking at him.

"What did you need?" Eddie asked.

Richie honestly was distracted by how adorable Eddie was when inebriated. How come someone be this adorable? It wasn't fair. Richie reached for Eddie's hands and held them as he looked into Eddie's eyes.

"I actually wanted to ask you something, this weekend is a holiday weekend and since we get four days off, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to visit my family. They live like three hours away so not a far drive, but I was hoping you would be interested in meeting my family."

Eddie's eyes grew comically wide and he just stared at Richie in disbelief.

"You want me to, to meet your family? Me?" Eddie asked still shocked.

"Well yeah, they want to meet the friend I talk about all the time", Richie said with just a hint of pink dusting his cheeks and nose.

Eddie was delighted to find out Richie talked about him, a lot! It made him feel special, he wanted to be special to Richie, even if that want scared him most of the time. He couldn't exactly deny his feelings for Richie, even though everything was still complicated. He honestly didn't feel like Richie could possibly feel the same way, after he had seen Eddie at his worst, multiple times, there's no way this beautiful tall man could ever feel the same way about Eddie.

"I uh, I'm a bit tipsy..."

Richie laughed and smiled so lovingly at Eddie.

"I know Eddie, my love. You can give me an answer once you sober up some if you like. I just hope you come with me. Would be nice to have you all to myself for a few days."

The guy really knew how to make Eddie feel shy. He could barely look Richie in the eye but all he wanted to do was lean in, and... No, he does not need to be thinking about that. He did not need to think about feeling Richie's warm breath on his lips, he didn't need to think about how soft Richie's lips probably were. He really didn't need to think about how amazing Richie would feel pressed against him.

"I, um. You look too attractive right now, I can't think straight", Eddie said as he shook his head.

Richie smirked. He leaned in and his mouth was so close to Eddie's ear, he felt hot breath and it made Eddie shiver.

"Oh I do now? I can never think straight around you", Richie whispered then leaned back to where he was.

Yep, that definitely went straight to Eddie's dick. He whimpered, the sexual tension was strong around them, and Eddie felt like he was burning up. The room door opened and Bill instantly felt the tension. Eddie and Richie didn't even take their eyes off each other, they didn't even notice the door open.

"Oh, yeah I'm out", Bill said and shut the door.

Eddie gazed into Richie's eyes and he saw the hunger and desire in the taller boy's eyes. He liked it, that gaze didn't make him feel dirty, it made him feel desired. Richie felt the tension building and he knew he should leave, Eddie was drunk and not thinking clearly but it was so damn hard! In more ways than one.

"Eddie, fuck, I need to go."

Eddie whined and frowned. That was the last thing Eddie wanted. His mind was foggy and he knew the words Richie spoke were right but they didn't agree with what he felt. When Richie let go of his hands they didn't pull away, they landed on Eddie's waist and gently squeezed. Eddie practically purred and he took another step closer. His legs were touching Richie's knees and he looked down, then back up at Richie's face. He slowly crawled onto Richie's lap, never breaking eye contact as he straddled Richie. His arms around Richie's neck, one hand playing with that wonderfully soft black hair, Eddie smiled. He let his forehead rest against Richie's and closed his eyes, just taking in everything Richie.

Richie felt good. Richie smelled good. Richie looked good. Richie sounded good. He was pretty sure Richie would taste good and boy did he want to taste. His mouth watered at the imagery of tasting Richie. 

Richie was really doing his best to behave himself. He knew they had been in this position before and he had to be the one to stop it, but this time it was really hard to listen to reason. He pulled Eddie's body closer to him, until their chests were pressed together. Both of them were breathing heavily and their faces were inches apart.

"Richie", Eddie whispered.

"Yes, Eds?"

"Make me feel good? Please? I can't stop thinking about that dream I had about you".

This was really testing Richie's resolve and he felt it crumbling. He wasn't intoxicated, Eddie was. That meant no consent and no consent was a no go.

"Eddie, you're killing me here. I can't baby. You're drunk", Richie told him.

Eddie whined and put his face in the crook of Richie's neck and shoulder, the hot breath teasing Richie's neck and the little whines coming from Eddie, especially after Richie called him baby, were going to be the death of him. Why must whatever higher power that might be out there be testing him like this? He was only human but still he knew he had to do the right thing, especially the right thing for Eddie.

:Eddie, believe me when I say you are a wet dream, but I can't do this, not yet. Not until you are truly ready, and I'll wait for as long as I have to until you are ready, because I really like you Eddie. I don't want to fuck this up", Richie poured his heart out.

Eddie tensed up and sat back up and looked straight at Richie in a surprised expression.

"You like me?"

Richie nodded and gave a small smile. Eddie felt his heart soar, he felt weightless, he felt loved. Eddie leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Richie's lips and then smiled.

"I like you too, Rich".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you go. You get a Reddie kiss. I hope the sexual tension was nice. Let me know what y'all think. Next chapter will be about Richie and Eddie visiting Richie's family so get ready for some Went and Maggie!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Home sweet home!" Richie announced as he pulled into a driveway to a very nice looking two-story house. It looked very modern and clean, the yard was professionally well kept, and the neighborhood itself was a gated community. Eddie had never seen a place so nice, every house had at least two floors, some even had three! Every backyard was fenced in, every house had a pool, and if Eddie didn't know that Richie grew up in that house, he would have thought the house was brand new.
> 
> "Wow", Eddie said in awe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter to bring in the Toziers! I love Maggie and Wentworth, they are such good parents! Plus I like to write them as the cool parents who swear.  
> Trigger Warnings:  
> mentions of anorexia

**Chapter 26**

"I can't do this Bill! I just can't!" Eddie yelled.

He was pacing their room while Bill was packing a bag for Eddie to take on his trip with Richie. This would be the first time Eddie would be hours away from Bill since he had moved in with the Denbroughs. He was going to meet the parents of the guy he had romantic feelings for. He was going to be in someone else's house.

"Yes, you can. Now if you don't w-want to go, you don't have to. But I th-think you w-want to go, right?"

Eddie nodded. He really did want to go. Spend a whole weekend with Richie, meet his family, and be in a truck with Richie for a few hours. It all sounded nice until he began to realize how real it was becoming. He was supposed to be leaving in an hour and he was panicking. What if Richie's family were really mean? What if they hated him? What if he had a terrible panic attack and freaked everyone out? Bill wouldn't be there to protect him.

"Eddie, I can hear you panic th-thinking, you know all you have to do is call me and I'll be th-there. I mean it, no matter w-what time it is, if you need me to come get you, I w-will", Bill assured.

He knew how scary this was for his friend but he knew it would be good for him. Richie was a great guy, he knew he would take care of Eddie. He also knew Eddie needed to branch out just a little. He couldn't hide behind Bill forever, even though Bill would have totally allowed it if that's what Eddie wanted. He figured He and Eddie would be living together forever and it honestly didn't bother him. He was protective and loved Eddie and if Eddie needed him forever then he would be there.

"Thanks Billy", Eddie said softly.

Bill stopped shoving clothes into Eddie's bag and turned to Eddie. He looked so small and scared, he couldn't help but wrap his arms around Eddie and hold him. Eddie melted into the hug and wrapped his arms around Bill and just took in everything Bill. He felt safe, Bill was his safe place and no one could take that from him.

"I packed all th-the clothes you said you w-wanted to bring, your bathroom stuff, your meds, and I also packed you one of my shirts, now pick some clothes for today and you'll be ready to go".

Eddie nodded and broke the hug to go to his closet. He saw Patrick's leather jacket hanging in there and he took a deep breath and slid the hanger over. Now was not the time to think about that. He grabbed his black sweater that hung off his shoulder and black skinny jeans. He put on his slip on _Vans_ and then used the straightener Bill owned since his own was already packed. Once done with his hair he grabbed a black beanie to complete his outfit. He put on a thin line of eyeliner and he was ready to go.

"You look great! His parents w-will love you!" Bill said as he looked up from his laptop.

Eddie smiled and his cheeks grew a pink tint.

"Alright Eds, lets hit the road!" Richie yelled excitedly as he ran to the driver side of his truck.

Eddie hugged Bill one more time and waved at Stan then got into Richie's truck. Bill and Stan waved until the truck was out of sight.

"So, since I'm driving, why don't you pick the music?" Richie suggested.

Eddie smiled and grabbed Richie's phone to look through his _Spotify_ playlists. He found one titled 'Road Head' and pressed play. Richie smiled as he realized which one Eddie had picked.

"You picked my road trip playlist, good choice!"

Eddie smiled shyly and felt proud. He was excited and honestly in a great mood. Even though neither boy had mentioned to the other about their declarations of feelings, it wasn't awkward. They felt comfortable, whether Richie was telling stories about his family or just sitting neither of them talking, it was comfortable.

"Hey Eddie, uh I just wanted to ask, I haven't told my family anything about your past, like nothing at all, and I just wanted you to know if you get asked a question you aren't comfortable answering, I will change the subject or just flat out tell them not to ask you any questions at all. How do you want to go about it? They mean well, aren't nosy, just care".

Eddie thought about it. How did he want to go about things? After all, Richie didn't even know everything. He didn't want to make his family feel like they can't ask him anything, but he also didn't want them treating him like he was made of glass.

"I don't know. I don't want pity but I don't want to make them uncomfortable not being able to treat me like any other guest", Eddie said.

"How about this, lets see how it goes and if they get too personal with you, then I'll tell a story and they will forget about their question, its not my first rodeo!"

Eddie laughed at that. It was so sweet how Richie was trying to help Eddie be as comfortable as possible and he really appreciated it. He nodded in agreement with Richie's suggestion.

After about an hour of driving they stopped at a gas station to fill up Richie's truck and grab road trip snacks because no road trip was complete without road trip snacks according to Richie. Eddie just grabbed a sugar free _Monster_ while Richie grabbed a _Dr. Pepper_ and a _Red Bull_ and a bag of chips, a bag of _Chex-Mix_ , a _Snickers_ candy bar, and a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. Eddie laughed at the amount of snacks Richie bought, not realizing the reason was to hopefully get Eddie to eat a little bit.

Back in the truck they continued the drive to the Tozier house.

"I'm telling you Eds, these are the best chocolate covered pretzels in the world! Try one, you won't want any other kind ever again!"

Eddie giggled but took the pretzel from Richie and ate it. He agreed it was amazing and after Richie opened the bag of _Chex-Mix,_ he had Eddie try one of each piece to get his vote on which piece was truly the best. His vote was the bread sticks while Eddie picked the rye chips. He even noticed Eddie ate a couple more handfuls of it which made Richie really happy. He was going to have to figure something out with meals at his home. His mom always made sure everyone got plenty to eat and he didn't want Eddie getting overwhelmed or feel like he's being forced to eat.

"Home sweet home!" Richie announced as he pulled into a driveway to a very nice looking two-story house. It looked very modern and clean, the yard was professionally well kept, and the neighborhood itself was a gated community. Eddie had never seen a place so nice, every house had at least two floors, some even had three! Every backyard was fenced in, every house had a pool, and if Eddie didn't know that Richie grew up in that house, he would have thought the house was brand new.

"Wow", Eddie said in awe.

Richie laughed nervously, he seriously hoped Eddie didn't start treating him different after realizing that his parents were fucking loaded. His dad was the number one dentist in the state and his mom was a realtor for only the nicest and most expensive houses and neighborhoods. Richie never told anyone how loaded his family was, in fact he rarely brought people over, only those he trusted like Stan and Bev.

Richie grabbed both of their bags and he and Eddie walked to the porch. Richie just opened the door and walked on in so Eddie followed.

"Mags! Went! I'm home!" Richie yelled.

Eddie saw a beautiful woman walk out of the kitchen. She was shorter than Richie and very thin, but her pale skin was vibrant and her black curly hair was set perfectly in place. Richie had her eyes and her smile.

"Richie! I'm so happy to see you!"

His mom hugged her son tight and Eddie saw Richie's father walk up from sitting in the living room. He was actually taller than Richie by a few inches and his hair was a warm brown and he wasn't as pale as his wife. Richie got most of his looks from his mom but he saw similarities with his father as well. His father had that gentle giant air to him and his kind smile made Eddie feel relieved.

"Trashmouth! You're home!" a girl yelled while running down the stairs and nearly knocked Richie over. She looked like a female version of Richie, just shorter and younger and her curls were more like their mother's, Richie was the only one with unmanageable curls, unless he used a straightener.

Eddie smiled at the family reunion, it was so sweet and loving and even though he wasn't part of their family, he felt so warm inside.

"Fuck Riley! You nearly knocked me on my ass! Eddie! This is my little sister Riley, she's a pain in the ass, my mom Maggie, and my dad Wentworth. Everyone, this is Eddie!" Richie introduced.

His family welcomed Eddie and they were all smiles. Riley looked at Eddie, then back at her brother. You could see the wheels in her head turning and a grin spread on her face.

"When did you get a boyfriend?" Riley asked.

Richie punched her in the arm and glared at her.

"Shut up! He's my friend", Richie told her after seeing Eddie blush.

"Alright lets let the boys get settled in, dinner will be ready in an hour, Riley leave them alone until they are settled in", Maggie stated. Wentworth nodded and went back to the living room to continue what he had been watching on the t.v. while Maggie headed back to the kitchen. Riley had a mischievous look on her face and was about to speak when Maggie could be heard from the kitchen, "I mean it Riley! Let them settle in".

Richie smirked at his defeated sister while Riley sulked and went back upstairs muttering under her breath.

"Onward my dear Edward!"

Richie took Eddie up to his room and Richie's room looked very much like his personality. Posters of bands and movies were everywhere very crooked, records and cds completely covered what was supposed to be a bookshelf, there was a computer on a large desk, a record player on a small table, a queen size bed, bedside tables on both sides, one had a cd player on it, a standing lamp, three different guitars on stands, a dresser covered in figurines and stacks of comics, a large cloth bisexual pride flag hanging on the wall above the bed, a large walk in closet, and a bathroom connected to his room.

"This feels right, your room is very, you", Eddie said with a grin.

Richie smiled and closed the door then flopped on his bed.

"This is my favorite place in the world. I love my room. Its all mine and exactly how I want it to be", Richie said sweetly.

Being home felt so good to Richie and he was really happy to share the experience with Eddie. He felt the bed dip a little and he noticed Eddie climbed on the bed and laid down next to Richie. His bed smelled like fresh linens and felt soft and clean. Eddie instantly loved it. Richie turned on his side to face Eddie and he smiled.

"I'm glad you're here".

Eddie blushed and hid his face.

"Hey! Don't cover up that fucking adorable face!" Richie yelled and grabbed Eddie's arm to try to move his hand away.

Eddie laughed but tried to keep his face hidden which turned into Richie trying even hard to move his arm and then it turned into a tickle fight. Richie's fingers were long and easily tickled Eddie's sides, Eddie's giggles were loud and honestly Richie would have tickled Eddie forever if he could keep hearing those giggles. Eddie squirmed, trying to get away, but Richie was fast and he got on top of Eddie, straddling him, to pin him down and claim being the winner.

Eddie wasn't going down without a fight and tried to block the tickles but also tickle back, it wasn't so easy, especially since he was giggling.

"Richie!" Eddie shrieked.

Richie ended up grabbing Eddie's wrists and pinned them above his head and he leaned down close to Eddie's face. A blush crept up his neck as he realized the position he was in. Eddie was panting and his cheeks were bright red. He could see when Eddie noticed their position and a nervous giggle left Eddie's mouth.

"Fuck, you're so cute", Richie said softly.

Eddie looked away but was smiling. He liked the weight of Richie on him. It felt nice, he also liked his wrists pinned above his head. He could feel how close Richie was, he turned his head back to look at Richie and their noses brushed together.

"Rich..." Eddie whispered.

Richie felt nervous, he could so easily close the gap between them but he knew that wouldn't be fair to Eddie. It also wasn't fair how cute Eddie looked, how pink and soft his lips looked, how his eyes were slightly drooping, Eddie looked almost blissed out and he was breathing heavily.

"Eddie".

Neither knew what to say, both were too scared to move. Before either of them could even attempt to speak again, Richie's door swung open and scared them both. Richie quickly jumped off Eddie and landed next to him and Eddie sat up quickly. Riley was standing in the doorway smirking.

"Not your boyfriend huh? Sure Rich".

Riley walked away and you could hear her voice get softer and she made her way down the stairs, "Mom! Richie was on top of Eddie in his bed!"

Richie groaned and swore under his breath.

"Excuse me, I have to go kill a teenager", Richie said as he ran after Riley and spewing profanities aimed towards her.

Eddie giggled and waited for Richie to return.

"I swear mom, nothing was happening, Riley barged into my room while I was having a tickle fight, I was winning", Richie explained.

Riley wasn't buying it, she was shaking her head like the explanation was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

"He was straddling him! Their faces were so close together!" Riley argued.

Maggie was pulling a dish out of the oven. After setting it down on the counter and taking the oven mitt off, she began to work on the salad.

"Rich, does your father and I need to give you the safe sex talk?" Maggie asked with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Richie turned bright red and choked on his own spit. Riley was cackling.

"What the fuck mom! No! We aren't fucking! We aren't together!"

"Maggie, leave the boy alone, if he wants to fuck his "friend" in his own room we can't stop him, they're adults, wait Richard, Eddie is an adult right?" Wentworth yelled from the living.

Richie rolled his eyes and replied "No dad, surprise! I'm a pedo...", the sarcasm was dripping with those words and Maggie softly smacked the back of Richie's head.

"Richard! That is not something to joke about!" Maggie exclaimed.

Riley was laughing so hard her stomach was hurting and there were tears in her eyes. Richie was glaring at her and groaning.

"Fuck all of you", Richie said as he left the room holding up a middle finger.

His entire family was laughing at that point. Richie walked back up the stairs, walked back into his room, closed and locked his door, and flopped back on his bed.

"I know I look young but fuck Rich, I'm not a child".

Richie looked up at Eddie and gave him the middle finger as Eddie laughed.

Dinner at the Tozier dining table was an experience. Maggie had made a roast, roasted veggies, and a salad. Everything smelled amazing and Richie was salivating. He missed his mom's cooking. Maggie had served everyone before sitting down herself then everyone dug in. Eddie felt awkward and took a few bites of the salad, he wasn't looking forward to this part.

After a while of quiet eating, Maggie noticed Eddie wasn't eating.

"Oh honey you aren't a vegetarian are you? I can make you something else, I didn't even think to ask about any dietary restrictions!"

"Oh no, Mrs. Tozier, I'm just not really hungry, I'm sorry", Eddie replied as he looked down.

Eddie always hated eating meals in front of people, he was always criticized for not eating or picking at his food. Usually someone got offended or tried to force him to eat which would cause him to panic.

"I'm sorry mom, its my fault. I kept giving him road trip snacks." Richie said.

Maggie shook her head but continued eating. Eddie smiled at Richie and mouthed 'thank you'. Riley noticed and she squinted her eyes, she knew something was up. 

Once dinner was over, Eddie insisted on helping Maggie clear the table, put leftovers away, and clean the dishes. Maggie assured him it wasn't necessary but Eddie insisted. Wentworth went back into the living room and Riley dragged Richie upstairs into the hall.

"What the hell Rich, that was a lie, why wouldn't Eddie eat?"

"It wasn't a lie Riley, I bought a lot of snacks", Richie insisted.

Riley glared at her brother, she knew when he was lying to their parents. He always touched his face right before lying and he had done just that and he did it as he insisted he wasn't lying!

"Seriously dude, I know when you're lying, why are you lying to me? Does the guy have anorexia or something?" she joked but the look on Richie's face made the smile on her face drop and turn into a frown, "Shit, I was kidding, he does? He needs to eat!"

Richie looked away, he couldn't get into this, it wasn't his thing to tell. He felt trapped, he told his sister everything and she told him everything but he didn't feel right about tell her about this.

"Look, he's getting help, he sees a therapist. Just drop it. Its not my thing to tell."

Riley studied his face and then nodded.

"I just don't want you or him getting hurt. That is a serious thing. A girl at my school had bulimia and she died from it because the one person who knew, her best friend, didn't tell anyone", Riley said as she went to hug her brother.

Richie hugged her back and took a deep breath.

"Please don't tell mom and dad, he is recovering. I don't want to cause him to get worse", Richie said a little choked up.

Riley stiffened at the sound of her brother's voice.

"Of course Rich, and if you ever tell anyone I hugged you, I'll murder you in your sleep", Riley said as she looked up at Richie and smirked.

Richie breathed a sign of relief and laughed.

"Deal!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you just love having Richie's family in the picture? I know I do! Do you think I wrote them well? Let me know your thoughts!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night at the Tozier house was comfortable, the entire family played board games, which Richie and Riley always helped each other cheat, they really thought they were being sneaky but the truth was they were incredibly obvious. Maggie and Went would pretend not to notice and Eddie giggled throughout every game seeing how cute and loving the Toziers were. It tugged at his heart a little, he wished he could have been raised by a family like Richie's.
> 
> Next they watched a movie, Richie insisted on a horror movie, hoping to get some scared cuddles for protection from Eddie, but it bit him in the ass for he was the one scared cuddling into Eddie for protection. Riley teased Richie relentlessly for that even though Richie insisted he wasn't scared, Eddie's clothes just smelled nice. Maggie and Went munched on popcorn, Riley and Richie were sharing a bag of gummy worms and a pack of cookies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I have given you another chapter the day after I posted the last one. Yeah I was in a writing mood so here y'all go!

**Chapter 27**

That night at the Tozier house was comfortable, the entire family played board games, which Richie and Riley always helped each other cheat, they really thought they were being sneaky but the truth was they were incredibly obvious. Maggie and Went would pretend not to notice and Eddie giggled throughout every game seeing how cute and loving the Toziers were. It tugged at his heart a little, he wished he could have been raised by a family like Richie's.

Next they watched a movie, Richie insisted on a horror movie, hoping to get some scared cuddles for protection from Eddie, but it bit him in the ass for he was the one scared cuddling into Eddie for protection. Riley teased Richie relentlessly for that even though Richie insisted he wasn't scared, Eddie's clothes just smelled nice. Maggie and Went munched on popcorn, Riley and Richie were sharing a bag of gummy worms and a pack of cookies.

Once the movie ended, Went and Maggie went up to their room to go to bed. They weren't used to staying up so late since Richie went off to college. Riley, Richie, and Eddie went upstairs and Riley showed Eddie the guest room and carried his bag in there for him. 

The guest room was really nice, it looked like it was just cleaned, not a speck of dust to be found, it had a bathroom connected to it that also connected to Riley's room. Riley insisted that her bathroom was much cleaner than Richie's and she assured Eddie that she just cleaned her bathroom this morning. After Riley left to go to her room, Richie popped his head in the door, it was still open, and he made a 'psst' sound to get Eddie's attention. Eddie looked over at the door and smiled.

"Hello Richie, you can come in", Eddie said.

Richie stepped fully inside the room and bounced on the bed.

"You can hang up your clothes in the closest, and use the dresser as well, I hope the room is alright", Richie said searching Eddie for any sign of discomfort.

"Rich, its amazing, I've never had a room this big, and never one with a connected bathroom. Its way more than I expected".

Richie smiled and held his arms out, signaling he wanted a hug so Eddie obliged.

"If you need anything, you know where my room is", Richie said as he got up and headed to the door.

Eddie nodded and began to hang up his clothes as Richie shut the door. Eddie was blown away by everything the Toziers had to offer. The kindness every single one of them shown, they truly cared about others and it made Eddie's heart feel warm.

Once everything was put up, he slipped into the bed and sent a text to Bill letting him know he was doing great. He hoped Bill would be proud of him when he got back. He knew this was a huge step towards getting better, trusting others, not being attached to Bill, he was really showing progress. The wind outside picked up and Eddie noticed tree branches near the window sway, he could hear the leaves rustling, almost sounding like a waterfall.

It had been two hours of Eddie trying to fall asleep, tossing and turning, but his mind wouldn't let him sleep. His fears were clawing at him, he felt suffocated yet completely alone. Every single bad thing that ever happened to him was swirling around in his head and he started to feel tears run down his cheeks. When had he started crying? He got out of the bed and opened the window, maybe the cold air would help. He was only wearing a thin t-shirt and sleep shorts but sometimes the cold helped ground him.

He got back on the bed and sat with his back against the headboard, he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs and bowed his head to cry into himself. He was pretty sure being alone was the cause, he still hadn't slept alone at night since he moved in with Bill and now he felt vulnerable. His body shook, but he didn't know if it was from the cold or from the crying. He tried to cry as quietly as possible, he didn't want to wake anyone, what if they got angry at him for waking them? They could kick him out and realize how big of a mistake it was to invite Eddie into their home. Richie would hate him, he couldn't handle Richie hating him. His thoughts spiraled downwards but he tried his hardest to just suck it up. He was terrified of so many different things all at once.

Eddie really wanted to go home but he didn't want to wake Bill up. He knows Bill had said any time of day or night he would come get him but he felt that wasn't fair to Bill, not for something like this. This was Eddie's issue and he needed to just deal with it. He took one of his anxiety meds that is take as needed and he hoped it would just knock him out.

Richie sat at his computer playing a game and his record player had music playing. He didn't hear the first knocking on the door but he heard the second.

"Come in!"

Riley opened the door and saw her brother not even looking over to see who knocked, She rolled her eyes and walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. Richie looked up and was about to make a sarcastic comment when he saw the look on his sister's face.

"Riley, what's wrong?"

Riley shifted her weight from one foot to the other and she honestly looked uncomfortable.

"I think something is wrong with Eddie", she said quietly, "I'm pretty sure I heard him crying, I wasn't being nosy, I had to use the bathroom and I could hear crying, also could hear the wind which is weird since its too cold out to sleep with a window open".

Richie stood up without saying a word and walked to the guest room and knocked on the door. Richie heard a muffled, "What?" and it definitely sounded like Eddie was crying.

"Eds, can I come in?"

He didn't get an answer right away and he was starting to get worried when he heard a soft, "I'm fine".

"Eddie, if something is wrong let me help, can I please come in?" Richie tried again.

Once he heard Eddie say ok, he opened the door and saw the smaller boy sitting in bed holding his knees to his chest. He saw the window open and shivered. How the hell was Eddie sitting in this? Richie quickly got to the bed and sat down facing Eddie. He wiped away tears from Eddie's cheek and Eddie leaned into the touch, Richie couldn't believe how cold Eddie's skin felt.

"Talk to me Eds, why are you sitting in the cold with only shorts and a t-shirt? You're freezing! Did you have a nightmare?"

Eddie shook his head and sniffled. Riley was standing in the doorway and just watched. She was worried and didn't know what to do.

"I can't do this Richie, I just can't. I'm sorry, please don't hate me. If I woke you or Riley up I'm so so sorry!"

Eddie had started crying harder and Richie pulled Eddie into his lap and held him, stroking his hair and rocking side to side.

"Shh, its ok. You didn't wake anyone up. What can you not to? Is it something I can help with? You don't have to do things alone, I'm always right here. I always got you", Richie said very softly.

Eddie buried his face into Richie's neck and both of his hands where clutching Richie's shirt and holding as tight as he could. He was so embarrassed, why can't he just be a fucking adult like everyone else? Why couldn't he just be normal?

"I can't sleep alone. I haven't slept in a room alone since I moved in with Bill. I can't do it. I really tried but its too much", Eddie explained.

"Would sleeping in my room help? I can even sleep on the floor if you don't want me in the bed, I know when some people have panic attacks they don't want anyone near them or touching them, so just tell me what you need and that's what will happen".

Riley smiled as she listened to her brother comfort Eddie. She could see that Richie really did love Eddie even though he may be a bit oblivious to how much. She had seen her brother date many people but he was never like this with them, he treated past partners wonderfully, it just wasn't _this_ loving.

"Thanks Richie, you can be in your bed, have you been doing research on panic disorders?"

Richie felt his neck grow warm and spread to his face and ears. Even in the dark Eddie could see that Richie was blushing and it made him smile.

"You did! Because of me? That's honestly so fucking sweet. Not many people care enough to do that", Eddie said as he wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and hugged him.

Riley noticed the scars on Eddie's arms and her eyes widened. She had never seen scars that severe. His arms were covered and it looked painful. Eddie could feel eyes on him and looked towards the doorway and saw that Riley had locked on to his scars. He quickly moved his arms back to where he first had them, at Richie's chest.

"Rich, can you grab me my hoodie and pajama pants?" Eddie whispered.

Richie looked at Eddie then turned back towards Riley and it clicked. He was self conscious and Riley had probably already seen. Eddie quickly put the blanket over himself as Richie got up to grab the hoodie and pajama pants. He handed them to Eddie and using the blanket to shield his body from Riley's sight, he shoved his legs into his pajama pants and then put his hoodie on and zipped it up. Once he was covered he got out of the bed so he and Richie could make their way to Richie's room. As they passed Riley she grabbed Eddie's arm softly and he stopped walking and looked at her.

"I'm actually going to make some lavender and chamomile tea, it helps when I can't sleep, would you like me to make you some too?"

"Yeah, thanks, that would be really nice", Eddie replied and smiled.

Riley left to go to the kitchen and Eddie followed Richie into his room. They both got on the bed and Eddie began to get under the covers while Richie stayed on top of the covers.

"She doesn't judge. She just wasn't expecting it. I promise she doesn't think any less of you" Richie spoke after a moment of silence between them.

Eddie nodded but still felt worried. He had realized a lot of people saw his scars here lately and it felt out of his control who he allowed to see. He felt like if he still didn't do it then maybe he wouldn't care who saw, but since he still makes new ones, he doesn't want anyone thinking he wants attention or be put in the hospital again.

Riley was back within ten minutes and handed a nice hot mug to Eddie which he took gratefully. He was already feeling much warmer and when he took a sip the tea tasted amazing. Riley began to tell him how she makes it taste so good, she never uses sugar, she uses honey, and then she adds just a splash of milk. She swears by it, plus she very much admit to being a tea snob and only buys loose tea leaves. Her lavender and chamomile tea had not only tea leaves but also pieces of lavender and some fruit to also help sweeten the tea and give it a light flavor.

"I'm glad you like it! I'll have to take you to the shop I buy my tea at, there are so many to choose from!"

I'd like that Riley, thanks", Eddie said with a smile.

Eddie was feeling a lot better and a lot more relaxed. He needed to get himself this magic tea for at home. Riley shortly left to go to bed and once the door was closed, Richie smiled at Eddie and softly caressed his cheek then he got under the covers as well. They both laid down, Richie on his side facing Eddie and Eddie on his back.

"Thank you", Eddie whispered.

Richie looked at Eddie adoringly and leaned over Eddie to press a kiss on his forehead. He lingered for a moment and then moved down just a little to kiss Eddie's nose. Eddie giggled and started to blush.

"I could listen to you giggle forever, its the sweetest sound my ears have ever heard", Richie said still close to Eddie's face.

Eddie lifted his hands to cup Richie's face and took a deep breath before pulling Richie in to softly kiss him. It didn't last as long as Richie would have liked, but it was sweet and full of love and that made it the best kiss he ever had. Richie smiled as he pulled away from Eddie and he swore Eddie needed to stop looking up at him like that with his brown doe eyes. He was a strong man but those eyes really made him weak and want to scoop Eddie up and kiss him until the sun rose in the sky. Of course he knew he couldn't do that but it was those big beautiful brown eyes that gave him the thought. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts he couldn't act on.

"Richie?"

"Yeah?"

"I know we haven't talked about it but I meant what I said when I told you I really like you. You make me feel like the thoughts I have about you aren't evil", Eddie said.

Richie smirked and arched one eyebrow.

"Now what thoughts are you having about me babe? Because I would love to hear them", Richie said in a sultry voice.

Eddie gulped and felt himself blushing again.

"R-Richie, I'm serious!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that, well I mean I know _why,_ but I just meant like- fuck, I'm sorry".

Eddie giggled and rolled his eyes. Its a good thing Richie is cute because he could be a total dork sometimes.

"Its ok, just don't ruin my moments anymore!" Eddie exclaimed.

The look on Richie's face changed after he nodded and he leaned back down close to Eddie again, their noses almost touching and Eddie gasped.

"You're worth the wait Eddie, if I have to go the rest of my life without anything further than a short sweet kiss, I'd still be a happy man. I must say though, you grabbing my head and pulling me to you was really hot, damn Eddie, the things you do to me".

Eddie swore Richie's eyes got a little darker and he felt his stomach twist around. He rarely got this feeling, things that would lead up to feelings like this would send Eddie spiraling and feeling guilty, but right now, Eddie was feeling so much want that it was blocking out some of the guilt his mind tried to throw his way. He remembered the way he felt when Richie was on top of him earlier when Riley caught them in the compromising position, he remembered how it felt to have Richie hold his wrists above his head, with one fucking hand at that! He remembered how his body felt warm and like he was craving something. He wasn't sure what his body was craving but he liked the feeling. Richie leaning over him was intoxicating, he could smell his hair and a bit of sweat, he could feel the intense gaze Richie held.

"Richie, I uh, you make me feel things I haven't felt before, things that my mind is screaming at me to feel guilty for but, the way I'm feeling blocks some of that out, does that make sense?"

Richie moved back but still stayed on his side. Eddie looked at him confused and began to worry he said something wrong.

"It makes sense. I really need to cool it. You're feeling, well desire, it can make your head feel like its underwater, and like how you really feel gets muffled because the feeling you're having now feels so good, your body makes you feel good when you feel like that. I feel like if I do anything more then I'll be taking advantage of that and I never want to do that", Richie explained.

Eddie frowned, he didn't feel like his body was making him like how he is when he's drugged or drunk, its different. How to explain the difference? He felt like he was finally starting to feel like what he feels is ok, that its not disgusting. He felt like this is how it feels to have made progress in how he thinks and feels about his sexuality.

"I'm not saying my body is making me like drunk or drugged, its me actually feeling a little at peace with me being gay. I feel less guilty, I feel less disgusted with myself. I'm by no means magically cured but I actually feel a difference then how I have been".

Richie sat up and Eddie followed along and they both sat criss cross facing each other. Richie looked at the smaller boy intensely, Eddie just hoped Richie could see that he felt lighter. He liked how it felt to not just be completely terrified of what he is attracted to. That he is seeing the progress of coming to terms with himself.

"I'm proud of you Eddie".

Eddie froze as he heard those words that he is always desperate to hear. He felt his eyes tearing up and he was smiling. Rarely did he have happy tears, but they felt nice. He crawled closer to Richie and instead of sitting back down with their knees touching, he put a hand on Richie's cheek and softly kissed Richie. His eyes were closed and felt Richie put his hand on the back of his head and pulled just slightly to show he wanted Eddie closer. Eddie crawled on Richie's lap and wrapped his legs around Richie's waist, he felt Richie gasp and he took that as the perfect time to slide his tongue over Richie's bottom lip. He must have done the right thing since he felt and heard Richie moan.

Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and Richie had one hand on Eddie's back and the other on Eddie's waist. They were chest to chest but it still felt too far away and Richie still kept tugging Eddie. Richie pulled away to get some air and he looked into Eddie's eyes looking for regret but only finding happiness. He pulled Eddie back into another kiss and softly bit Eddie's bottom lip. The surprised squeak Eddie made went straight to Richie's dick and he groaned.

"Fuuuuuuck Eddie..."

"Stop talking, just kiss me".

And who was Richie to say no? Every wiggle Eddie's body made, every sound that left Eddie's mouth, drove Richie nuts. He had the hottest guy in his lap, kissing him, and he honestly never thought he'd get this much from him.

"Eds, I need to stop", Richie said out of breath.

Eddie pulled away and looked at Richie in concern.

"Its nothing bad, its just uh, I react to this kind of stuff and I'm getting really into it, if you know what I mean", Richie said with a pink tint to his cheeks.

That's when Eddie noticed the hard thing under his ass and it clicked.

"Right! Shit I'm sorry! Damn Tozier, I didn't even stick my tongue in your mouth", Eddie teased.

Richie groaned and pressed his forehead to Eddie's.

"Fuck you Kaspbrak. I can't help that my dick likes having a hot as fuck guy in my lap. That little sound you made went straight to my dick. I'm telling you now, my body reacts easily, I can't tell you how many random boners I got when I was a teenager".

Eddie laughed as he got off of Richie's lap but still gave Richie a sweet smile. Richie adjusted himself and started thinking about his usual boner killers, he laughed when he noticed Eddie looking at him and he had to explain he has thoughts stored away just for killing his boners. Eddie shook his head but he found himself finding it cute. Everything Richie did was cute, unless it was hot, then it wasn't cute. Like when they were kissing, Eddie found that extremely hot and he touched his lips, they were red and a little swollen, he liked how it felt.

"There we are! Back to having a limp dick!" Richie yelled.

"Eww," Eddie said but he couldn't keep from laughing.

Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist and put himself and Eddie under the covers. He still held Eddie, he loved having Eddie as a little spoon, and he smiled as he realized that maybe, he and Eddie could end up having a relationship, they could end up fucking, and he could continue to help Eddie recover, maybe even get to a point where he is healed. That thought gave Richie hope, he wanted them to have a happy ending, he knew it was cheesy but he wanted to end up marrying Eddie one day. Have a house and maybe even kids and grow old together. Richie fell asleep smiling at his dreams for the future.

Eddie stayed awake thinking about how amazing it was to kiss Richie and not immediately want to punish himself. He felt a little bit of guilt but he did what Jerome always told him to do when his feelings were wrong, use logic. Its ok to like boys. Its ok to kiss boys. Its ok to- wait... Why hadn't he gotten hard? Richie did. Eddie didn't even get a semi, what if his dick was broken? What if conversion therapy made it to where he can never get it up? Richie didn't even say anything so maybe some dicks take longer to get hard. He would have to talk to Jerome about it.

_I can't have a broken dick. Please oh please don't let my dick be broken._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you think? Did you enjoy getting a reddie makeout session? I had to give y'all a treat for being super kind and wonderful readers! I love every single one of you who take the time to read my fic. Seriously, y'all give me the motivation to keep writing with your comments and questions.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie started to begin waking up, he was in that glorious realm between asleep and awake and he felt warm and fuzzy. He would have been content staying in this limbo longer, but he began to realize he was still in Richie's arms. He felt himself waking up more, he was aware of the sunlight shining through the window, he could hear Richie breathing and feel Richie's hot breath on his ear. The tickling sensation made him giggle and he opened his eyes and started turning over in Richie's arms to face him. He was met with a goofy grin on Richie's face and a wonderfully adoring look in his eyes.
> 
> "Good morning Eds, don't you just look fucking adorable".
> 
> Eddie flushed and he buried his head in Richie's chest to prevent the taller boy from seeing. Richie was a dream in the morning, at least to Eddie, he honestly was a fucking wreck but Eddie thought he was the most beautiful sight. Curls going everywhere like he was in a tornado and his voice rough from sleep, it was beautiful to Eddie.
> 
> "Shut up, and don't call me that", Eddie grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Tozier fun and some awkward moments. I hope you enjoy. Things get slightly heated, just making out but figured I'd mention it.

**Chapter 28**

Eddie started to begin waking up, he was in that glorious realm between asleep and awake and he felt warm and fuzzy. He would have been content staying in this limbo longer, but he began to realize he was still in Richie's arms. He felt himself waking up more, he was aware of the sunlight shining through the window, he could hear Richie breathing and feel Richie's hot breath on his ear. The tickling sensation made him giggle and he opened his eyes and started turning over in Richie's arms to face him. He was met with a goofy grin on Richie's face and a wonderfully adoring look in his eyes.

"Good morning Eds, don't you just look fucking adorable".

Eddie flushed and he buried his head in Richie's chest to prevent the taller boy from seeing. Richie was a dream in the morning, at least to Eddie, he honestly was a fucking wreck but Eddie thought he was the most beautiful sight. Curls going everywhere like he was in a tornado and his voice rough from sleep, it was beautiful to Eddie.

"Shut up, and don't call me that", Eddie grumbled.

He felt Richie's body shake as he laughed and began rubbing Eddie's back softly. That's when Eddie noticed he wasn't wearing his pajama pants and hoodie anymore, just the t-shirt and shorts. He must have gotten too warm in his sleep.

"Weren't you wearing more clothing when we went to sleep? Not that I'm complaining, Seeing and feeling more of you is always preferable", Richie said with a bright smile and a wink.

The sweet smile Eddie had on his face when he looked up at him was the most angelic thing Richie swore he had ever seen. He took a deep breath, he really wanted to kiss Eddie, he kept glancing at the smaller boy's lips and the temptation was getting stronger the more Eddie kept looking Richie in the eyes.

"I must have gotten too warm last night, you are a fucking furnace I swear!"

"Well maybe one day I'll burn so hot you will have no choice but to sleep naked", Richie teased.

Eddie playfully slapped him and rolled his eyes. Richie could be very... Richie. He felt Richie's hand slowly move up his back until he felt Richie's fingers slowly brushing through his hair. It felt so nice, he loved the feeling of his hair being played with. It was calming and his little sounds of contentment was all Richie needed to know Eddie was definitely enjoying it. When Richie heard a soft moan slip from Eddie's lips he froze and looked down at Eddie. The smaller boy was blushing and his hand was over his mouth, he did not mean for that to happen.

Richie moved Eddie's hand away and he slowly leaned in for a kiss. Eddie felt the movements were much too slow so he quickly met him halfway and smashed their lips together. Richie made a surprised noise but wrapped his arm around Eddie to pull him closer. Richie softly ran the tip of his tongue across Eddie's bottom lip, Eddie without even thinking parted his lips and soon felt Richie's tongue explore his mouth. Eddie was very new to this but his body seemed to know what to do, his tongue began rubbing against Richie's and the moan that came from Richie made Eddie feel a nice warm heat low in his stomach.

Richie moved himself on top of Eddie, in between his legs, and as Eddie's thighs gripped tight to Richie's body, Richie ran his hand up from Eddie's knee all the way to the hem of those short sleep shorts. That brought out a very loud moan from Eddie so he slipped his hands into Richie's hair and pulled a bit roughly. Richie had to pull away from the kiss to breathe, and Eddie was panting under him, it was a gorgeous sight, Eddie's lips swollen and very pink, his eyes half lidded, and a lazy smile on his face, Richie dove to Eddie's neck and began to bite and suck marks that Eddie would probably bitch about later. In the moment Eddie was enjoying the attention to his neck, it tickled, slightly hurt but in a delicious way, and it made Eddie putty in Richie's hands. His back arching and hips bucking up to meet Richie's sent the most glorious jolts down to Eddie's dick and feeling Richie grind down into him made those jolts even more intense.

" _Richie,_ fuck!" Eddie's breathless words went directly to Richie's dick. He hummed in response as his kisses started to make their way back to Eddie's lips.

"Richie _please..._ "

"Tell me what you want baby", Richie whispered as he brushed their lips together.

Eddie whined at the brief contact and whimpered once Richie crashed their lips back together.

"Richie dear, breakfast is on the- Oh my god! I'm sorry!" Maggie said as she opened Richie's door and walked in. She covered her eyes with her hand and she saw her son, on top of his supposed _friend_ and seeing Eddie's bare legs gripping tightly to her son was not the sight she ever wanted to see. She didn't miss all the scarring on Eddie's leg which would have concerned her more if she hadn't just walked in on her son humping him. She could hear the two boys quickly move apart and shift around in bed.

"Mom!"

"I didn't realize Eddie slept in here or I would have knocked, I'm so sorry! I thought you were just friends! Oh my god I'm so sorry!" Maggie said as she moved her hand away. She saw Eddie covering himself with the sheet and Richie strategically clasped his hands together over his crotch. Both their faces were burning red and Maggie was sure her's was as well.

"Breakfast! Table! Whenever!" Maggie said awkwardly and left the room and shut the door.

She quickly went downstairs to confide in her husband what just happened. Went's laughter was loud and contagious, soothing Maggie and they both began to start their breakfast.

"Holy fuck! What the fuck! Oh my god!" Eddie screeched covering his face.

Eddie was mortified, he could never show his face to the Toziers ever again. He wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear forever. He couldn't even look at Richie. He knew Richie must feel just as awful, maybe he would hate Eddie form now on. What Eddie didn't expect to hear was Richie laughing. He removed his hands from his face confused, but the amusement on Richie's face almost made Eddie smile. Almost.

"How are you laughing?! I'll never be able to look at your family ever again!"

"Eddie, baby, Mags has literally walked in on me balls deep in a dude's ass, she has seen a lot worse. First time it happened, I swear all three of us froze and she stared at us and we stared at her for like twenty seconds before she finally turned around and walked out of the room. We never spoke of it. She saw his very large dick and I'm sure she saw my sack so this", Richie gestures back and forth between them", is fucking tame compared to what the old girl has seen".

Eddie scrunched up his nose and tried his hardest to not laugh but he couldn't help it. The entire mental image was too hilarious. Once it clicked Richie had said the first time, meaning it had happened more than once made Eddie wonder what else had Maggie seen over the years.

"Now I have another boner killer stored away for later!" Richie yelled happily.

Eddie shook his head and threw the sheet over his head to hide. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie and kissed his cheek through the sheet.

Richie and Eddie had gotten dressed and walked downstairs to see Riley eating breakfast and Maggie and Went sipping on coffee. The table was covered with eggs, bacon, grits, hashbrowns, and sausage. Richie looked ravenous and happily sat down to fill his plate up. Eddie walked to the coffee pot and poured a cup for himself and Richie. He sat the mug for Richie by his plate and Richie smiled with his mouth full and tried to thank him.

"Eww, don't try to talk with your mouth full idiot", Eddie giggled as he reprimanded Richie playfully.

Maggie and Went hadn't looked at the boys and Riley quickly realized something was going on. She looked at her parents, then the boys. Eddie sipped on his coffee trying to look as innocent as possible, he hadn't put any food on his plate, everyone noticed that but nothing was said about it. Riley noticed the hickies on Eddie's neck and that's when she realized what had happened.

"Richie, did mom walk in on you fucking again?" Riley blurted out.

Eddie's eyes widen, Maggie was taking a sip of her coffee and thankfully the mug was still at her lips because she spat out her coffee and started coughing, Went laughed so hard he actually snorted, and Richie beamed and smiled proudly as best as he could with his mouth closed.

"Eww! Mom is gonna have to rinse her eyes out with bleach! And I thought you said he was 'just a friend'."

Richie laughed at that, thankfully he was able to swallow his food before Riley finished that sentence. Maggie giggled and Went shook his head. Eddie was blushing furiously and not looking at anyone.

"We weren't having sex, just a heated makeout session, we were still clothed", Richie finally said hoping to ease some of Eddie's embarrassment.

"Suuuuuure", Riley said while rolling her eyes.

Maggie got on to her daughter, and tried to change the topic to a more light subject.

After breakfast was over Richie was helping Maggie do the dishes while Riley was showing Eddie old photos of Richie growing up. Richie could see into the living room from the kitchen and he would smile every time he saw that cute little nose scrunch or the dimples that appeared when Eddie smiled.

"Rich honey, Eddie hasn't eaten since he's been here, does he only like certain things? I can pick up whatever he wants".

Richie stiffened and tried to think of an excuse but he was caught off guard. He couldn't just tell his mom about everything, she might freak out. She cared so much about her kids and their friends. Her trying to help could scare Eddie away.

"No, he's fine. He just doesn't eat much", Richie replied hoping it sounded nonchalant.

"Does he have an eating disorder?" Maggie asked as she placed the drying towel on the counter beside the sink and turned to face Richie.

Richie dropped the cup he had been washing but thankfully he caught it before it hit the ground.

"What? No..."

Maggie stared at her son and her face softened as she cupped her hand on her son's cheek. The sweet expression on her face brought tears to Richie's eyes but he quickly turned away. Hearing Eddie's laughter in the living room made him feel just a little bit more sad.

"Honey, its ok. You can be honest with me. Don't think I didn't see those scars either, and were some of them words?"

All Richie could do was nod, those damn tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. Maggie wrapped her son in a hug and held him while rubbing his back. Now Richie's tears did fall. He softly apologized for lying but he felt Maggie shake her head, she wasn't concerned about the lie. Richie hugged his mother back, even though he towered over her, he still was able to rest his head on top of his mother's head.

"If he needs help, we can get him help", Maggie said softly, barely audible.

"He sees a therapist, he's actually been getting a lot better, when we first met he had a panic attack when he woke up to leaning against me and his arm around me, now he is able to kiss me without being drunk or high. He's making progress, I swear".

Maggie pulled away from the hug to look at her son.

"He drinks and does drugs too?" she asked.

"No, I mean yeah he has had a drink a couple of drinks since I've known him, but he was also drugged at a club we were at so I know how he is high, plus he and I may have smoked just a little bit of weed once", Richie's voiced cracked towards the end.

Maggie looked like she wanted to get into so much of all that but in the end she chose not to, she wasn't against her son smoking weed, she just didn't exactly like hearing about it.

"This is a lot for you to take on, are you sure you can handle all that baggage? Its not a bad thing if you can't".

"Of course I can! He's worth the wait, he's worth the baggage, he's worth the whole fucking world!"

Maggie nodded and they went back to the dishes, a small smile crept on Maggie's face, she was a little worried but it was nice seeing her son in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Eddie is always having these awkward moments, maybe I'm projecting too much lol anyway let me know what you thought of this chapter, I was smiling the whole time I was writing it.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We should go get a piercing", Richie suggested.
> 
> Eddie sat up and looked at Richie like he was nuts.
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "We should go to a tattoo shop and get a piercing, I've been wanting my tongue pierced, you would look fucking cute with like a septum piercing".
> 
> Eddie flushed and thought about it, he never did anything this wild, not to say he wasn't intrigued by the idea but could he really do it? It would hurt and he wasn't a fan of needles. The thought of Richie getting his tongue pierced was kinda hot so after a few minutes of thinking it over Eddie agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a super sweet chapter.  
> The f slur is mentioned due to Eddie's scar on his thigh.  
> Needles since the boys are going to get piercings.

**Chapter 29**

Once Richie was finished helping his mom do the dishes he quietly made his way upstairs and locked himself in his room. Riley would be keeping Eddie busy for a while so he could work on his project he had been hiding from Eddie. He grabbed his notebook and a pen and began to draw. He really hoped Eddie would like the surprise once it was ready. This was the first time he was doing something like this.

Drawing was something Richie could focus on, once he got into the zone, hours could fly by and he would be in his own world. He would forget to eat sometimes if it wasn't for Stan or his family. He really wanted this project to be perfect, he had been working on this for weeks, usually at night when he couldn't sleep and it kept him quiet so he wasn't keeping Stan up. He was nervous, would Eddie even like it?

Eddie knocked on Richie's room door a few hours later but there was no answer. He tried again after two minutes and finally he heard Richie.

"Just a minute!" Richie said as he went to hide his supplies.

Richie ran to his bedroom door and opened it. Eddie walked in and sat on the bed. He was smiling and Richie felt his stomach do a flip, that damn smile. He was whipped and he honestly loved it. Eddie's eyes were sparkling and he seemed happy, such a beautiful sight. He smiled his goofy smile and he fought the urge to pick Eddie up and ravish him.

"Riley showed me so many photos of you as a kid, you were so cute! What happened?" Eddie teased.

"You little shit! I just got hot was all, duh".

Eddie giggled and rolled his eyes then laid back on the bed. Richie laid down beside him and both of them just stared at the ceiling.

"We should go get a piercing", Richie suggested.

Eddie sat up and looked at Richie like he was nuts.

"What?"

"We should go to a tattoo shop and get a piercing, I've been wanting my tongue pierced, you would look fucking cute with like a septum piercing".

Eddie flushed and thought about it, he never did anything this wild, not to say he wasn't intrigued by the idea but could he really do it? It would hurt and he wasn't a fan of needles. The thought of Richie getting his tongue pierced was kinda hot so after a few minutes of thinking it over Eddie agreed.

Richie drove to a tattoo shop called Ink Stains, he would always go to this shop when he had still lived with his parents, they were really nice and talented, also really good with anxious people. They got out of Richie's truck and walked inside to hear heavy metal music playing and Richie smiled. The girl at the desk looked over at them and smiled and seemed excited. She was quite pretty, black and pink short hair, covered in tattoos and piercings, she wore short ripped jean shorts and a purple tank top with the shop's name on it in white.

"Rich! Its been so long!" the girl squealed and hugged Richie.

Richie hugged the girl back and was laughing. Eddie thought it was cute, they seemed like really good friends. A few of the guys in the shop walked up and were greeting Richie. They all knew Richie and were happy to see him, the girl, who turned out to be named Lee, asked about Eddie and so Richie introduced Eddie to Lee, she handled money, paperwork, and scheduling.

Next was a tattoo artist named Luke, he was young, maybe around Richie's age, he was also covered in tattoos and his tattoos were all beautiful bright colors like white and turquoise that stood out against his dark skin, anyone who says black people can't have colorful tattoos are idiots according to Richie, Luke specialized in colorful tattoos for darker skin tones and made sure everyone knew any skin tone can have beautiful artwork.

The next person Richie introduced to Eddie was the owner of the shop Jordan, he was a tall white man, middle aged, and of course covered in tattoos. He also had several piercings. His wife Alejandra was a beautiful Hispanic woman, she didn't have as many tattoos as everyone else but she was a tattoo artist. Eddie loved her heavy Cuban accent, he found out she was originally from Cuba and English was her second language. She had that sweet motherly vibe.

The last tattoo artist that Eddie met was Quinn, she was a plus-sized model for a few tattoo magazines and her bright blue hair matched her bright personality. She was naturally a redhead, her pale skin not only covered in tattoos but freckles as well. She proudly sported a gay pride t-shirt and had photos of her wife scattered all around her work area. She also did piercings for the shop so she was who Richie and Eddie would be dealing with.

"What can we do for ya Rich? Finally gonna stop chickening out and get your dick pierced?" Lee asked while giggling.

Eddie whipped his head around to gawk at Richie which made the taller boy laugh. He assured Eddie that was not happening, he made a big deal while drunk one time how he was brave enough to do it and would get it done one day but he never had the guts to actually do it.

"Seriously, don't scare Eddie away Lee", Richie joked.

Lee winked at Eddie and her knowing look made Eddie blush.

"Anyway, we are here because I want to get my tongued pierced and Eddie agreed to getting his septum pierced!"

"Oh my god that will look adorable on him! I have a ring that will be perfect for him!" Quinn said excitedly.

Eddie liked this group of people, they were all so different but a lot alike. They were nice and quirky and made Eddie feel welcome. Lee got the paperwork in order, scanned their IDs, and they paid the initial price upfront. Quinn then led them back to her station and laying in front of her chair was a gorgeous grey pitbull wearing a light blue collar that matched the dog's eyes.

"This is Leia, she's the shop's guard dog and my baby, at night she gets to sport her bulletproof vest", Quinn told Eddie.

Eddie's eyes were wide but he smiled at how sweet the dog looked. Leia instantly got up and made her way to Richie, then she sniffed at Eddie, he held his hand out in a fist and once she nudged him he started to scratch behind her ears.

"You're good with dogs, most people try to start petting her and it makes her a little nervous if she can't sniff a little first".

"I sorta know the feeling", Eddie said softly.

Richie sat in the chair first and Quinn got all the supplies ready, put gloves on, and unsealed the new needle, unsealed the new jewelry, and then grabbed her pen to make a mark.

"How about here? Look good?" Quinn asked after making a spot on Richie's tongue.

He looked in the mirror and gave a thumbs up and winked at Eddie. Eddie giggled and watched as Quinn got the clamps to hold his tongue in place, told Richie to take a deep breath and then in a second the needle was in Richie's tongue. Next the jewelry was put in and he was all done. He didn't even flinch. Eddie was proud of him.

"Wha do ya thin Edths", Richie tried to ask. His tongue was swelling a little which was normal and it made him talk funny.

"Looks good Rich", Eddie told him.

"Alright darlin', you ready?" Quinn asked.

Eddie nodded and made his way to the chair. He was nervous, he could hear his heart beating so hard, could everyone else hear it? He looked over at Richie and he was smiling. Seeing Richie's smile helped him feel a little more at ease.

"Now, do you want me to explain the process as I go or do you just want me to do my thing? I know some people find it less anxiety inducing to know every single thing that happens and some don't want to know at all".

"Just do your thing", Eddie said nervously.

Quinn smiled and got her things ready, she had cleaned the area, changed gloves, and grabbed the new tools for Eddie's turn beforehand so she was all ready to go. She made a mark and asked Richie if he felt it was good. He felt it was so she grabbed the needle.

"Take a deep breath".

Next thing Eddie knows its over and he only felt a slight pinch.

"Now if you don't like the jewelry I can switch it out but I really think you'll like this", Quinn said as she handed Eddie a mirror to see the piercing.

The ring was a decorated silver ring, like those clicker rings a lot of people wear but only a little smaller, it fit Eddie's face perfectly. Eddie smiled and couldn't believe how amazing it looked on him. He looked over to Richie and it almost seemed like Richie was blushing, did Richie really like how it looked?

"Looks good", Richie squeaked out.

"Thank you Quinn, I love it."

"Of course, I'll send you home with instructions on aftercare and cleaning solution", she said as she gathered it up for him and handed it to him.

"So, you seriously look cute, almost too cute, but uh, I also have a surprise for you", Richie said as he put his arm around Eddie and led him deeper into the shop.

They got to a tattoo room with Jordan's name on the open door and he seemed to be getting ready for a tattoo. Different colored inks were out, the tattoo gun, cleaners, paper towels, and anything else he may need. Eddie was confused, maybe Richie wanted to get matching tattoos or something, he didn't know how he felt about that but his thoughts were interrupted by a very nervous looking Richie.

"Uh so, um ok. This shop does something special for people. They do tattoos to cover up scars for free as a service to anyone who has suffered with self-harm. I've been drawing up designs for you so you could cover the words on your thighs, I know not every single scar can be covered but I know the words are the ones you are the most self conscious about. I'm not done with all the designs but if you like the idea, Jordan can do one for you today", Richie said.

Eddie stared at the taller boy and tears filled his eyes. He had never felt so loved before, here Richie was trying to help Eddie feel better about himself and he even put his heart into it by creating designs for him. He could tell Richie was getting more nervous the longer Eddie didn't say something so he moved closer to Richie and stood on his tiptoes and pulled Richie down and kissed him softly. Richie was surprised but he smiled into the kiss. Eddie was careful to not hurt Richie, just kept the kiss a closed mouth kiss. Eddie had wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist.

"You are the sweetest person in the world", Eddie whispered once he pulled away from the kiss but pressed his forehead to Richie's.

"I care about you, I'd do anything to help you feel better about yourself", Richie whispered back.

Richie led Eddie to the chair to sit in and Jordan began explaining how he got into this service, his daughter had a friend in high school who confided in her that she was cutting. As a graduation present, Jordan had tattooed his daughter's friend over her scars on her arm and he knew he wanted to help other people like that.

Richie handed Jordan the design, Eddie wasn't allowed to look yet, and Jordan transferred it to transfer paper.

"Where we putting it at?" Jordan asked.

"His thigh, over the word 'fag'. Eds you'll have to take your pants off but don't worry, I'll close the door and Jordan will cover the rest of you if you want", Richie said.

Eddie stood up and pulled off his pants and sat back down, he was blushing furiously as someone new was seeing his scars.

"Ahh ok, I'll transfer the design to his skin and get started".

Richie had been talking to Eddie the entire time to distract him so he wouldn't accidentally see until it was done. He was so excited to see it on Eddie and he was bouncing a little in his seat. Eddie didn't feel much, the vibrations mostly.

"How is that not hurting you? When I got a tattoo on my thigh that shit hurt!" Richie said a little loudly.

"I have a high pain tolerance", Eddie deadpanned.

"Oh, right".

"Rich, its ok. Really. If this helps the experience be better then that's good for me".

Four hours later and the tattoo was finished. Eddie had closed his eyes and stood up from the chair and Richie guided him to the mirror. Once Eddie opened his eyes he was shocked and overwhelmed. Over where he had carved the word 'fag' on his thigh was a beautiful design of stars and a crescent moon in the night sky. You couldn't see the word carved in his skin under it at all. Tears began to fall from Eddie's eyes and Richie hugged him from behind.

"You're beautiful, you always have been and now you'll be able to start seeing it too", Richie whispered in Eddie's ear.

"Thank you Rich, this means the world to me".

After having the tattoo wrapped, Eddie slipped on some pajama pants Richie brought so he could have something loose on and not risk hurting himself. Eddie thanked Jordan over and over again and even hugged the man. Jordan was smiling and took a photo of his work for his portfolio of his cover up art for scars. Eddie looked through the photos and seeing his clients happy and feel pretty again like he did made Eddie so happy. They left the shop with heartfelt goodbyes and smiles.

"Now we just have to come back five more times!"

Eddie giggled as he turned to Richie and gave him a quick kiss before getting inside Richie's truck. Richie smiled and walked around to get in the driver's seat. He was so giddy, he felt on top of the world and he was excited for everyone to see when Eddie was ready to show their friends.

"Richie".

Richie started up his truck and then turned to face Eddie.

"Yes Eddie, my love?"

"I love you". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How sweet was that? I hope it was tooth rotting sweet for y'all! Let me know what y'all thought! I really enjoyed writing this chapter and honestly had this part figured out before I had decided to have them go to the Tozier's house.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ride back to the Toziers was silent. Eddie had said those damn three words to Richie and he wasn't sure if he broke Richie or if the feelings were not reciprocated. Eddie was afraid to even look at Richie. Once those words left his mouth, Richie's eyes widen and then he started to drive home. He hadn't said anything but his face was still in shock. He honestly couldn't believe he had heard Eddie profess his love for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so in this chapter Eddie does mention some of the assaults he had in the past, doesn't go into details but it is mentioned.  
> This chapter has someone talk about their mentally abusive relationship.  
> Other than that y'all should be good!  
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 30**

The ride back to the Toziers was silent. Eddie had said those damn three words to Richie and he wasn't sure if he broke Richie or if the feelings were not reciprocated. Eddie was afraid to even look at Richie. Once those words left his mouth, Richie's eyes widen and then he started to drive home. He hadn't said anything but his face was still in shock. He honestly couldn't believe he had heard Eddie profess his love for him.

Eddie was wringing his hands together, he felt like he blew it, he thought Richie had feelings for him, he really thought there was something there, they fucking made out in Richie's bed! How could there not be something there? Maybe he was scared? He wanted answers but was afraid to ask because of the answers he might get.

Once the truck made a full stop at the Tozier house they both unbuckled but neither got up from their seats. They had to clear the air now, Eddie didn't want to bring in that awkward tension.

"Richie I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out."

Richie looked over at Eddie and took a deep breath. He took Eddie's hand in his, Eddie just looking into Richie's eyes, he could tell the shorter boy was scared, he was scared too. He rubbed the back of Eddie's hand softly with his thumb and and brought Eddie's hand up to his lips and lightly kissed Eddie's fingers. That at least made Eddie smile, it was still worried and unsure but at least it was a smile.

"You don't need to be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry I freaked out on you", Richie said quietly.

"I honestly didn't mean to say it, I try to keep my feelings inside, I know that I'm... a lot. I'm a burden to those that care about me and no one deserves that. No one deserves the issues, the mental strain, or anything that happens because of me and my problems".

The look on Richie's face as Eddie said those words almost looked like he was in pain. Eddie's eyes began to water and he really felt like he ruined everything.

"Eds".

"What?"

"You are not a burden, to anyone, and if anyone ever makes you feel like you are then they suck ass and don't deserve you. You have a heart of gold and almost everyone has issues. I have ADHD, that can sure be a burden to my family, friends, partners, but the people who matter most stick around anyway. Yeah your issues may be worse than others but that doesn't mean you aren't worthy of the same love that someone who is mentally perfect has. In fact I'd say you deserve even more for all the shit you fucking survived. I don't know everything but dude, what I do know, you fucking _survived_ things that I honestly don't think I could survive. You are strong as fuck and to hear that you love me, the goofy, weird, scrawny, way too tall idiot who can't stay fucking still for more than ten seconds, I'm honestly shocked. There are way better people out there than me, but you trusted me. You worked through shit just to be able to even touch me because to you, I was worth it. How the fuck would I not see you as worth all the baggage?" Richie said as slowly as he could even though he sped up a few times.

Tears were already falling down Eddie's face, his eyes were filled with love and he felt warm all over. Richie basically took a hammer to Eddie's insecurities and crushed them into oblivion. The words Richie spoke made Eddie feel loved. Richie felt that Eddie was worth all the shit, Richie told him he was worthy of love. The person Richie saw wasn't a delicate broken doll, Richie saw Eddie as a strong survivor. He saw the real Eddie, he saw through Eddie's walls, he walked through the sludge that surrounded Eddie.

"Wait, if you aren't disgusted or weirded out then why did you freak out?" Eddie asked.

"I have a bad habit of falling for someone too fast and too hard. I am the one who loves the other person more than the other loves me. I come off as clingy when I just truly love to be around my partner. I have always been the one to say 'I love you" first, I have always been the one dumped because I'm too much. I scare people off, I try so hard to dial myself back so no one will leave me anymore but something always happens and I end up chasing my partner away into someone else's arms because I can't go a day without sending a good morning text or I touch too much", Richie explained.

Richie shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with what he was about to say, he took a deep breath and continued.

"My last ex was um, please don't think I'm weak but he was abusive. He only hit me once, it never happened again because I threatened to leave him, but he mentally broke me, he treated me like shit, he would tell me he loved me and then insult me and make fun of things I was passionate about. He would gaslight me, he cheated on me the entire time we were together with this girl, and when I grew suspicious, he acted like I was crazy, he made me feel insane. I literally saw them on our couch, his head between her legs, and of course he told me since I was behind the couch I took what I saw wrong and he wasn't doing anything, he happened to drop a pencil the moment I walked in and he bent over to pick it up. He berated me for a week after that until I gave in and admitted to seeing things wrong. Anytime I gave in I was told he loved me, then he would break me all over again and repeat the ugly cycle. He hated how I dressed, he was annoyed by my voice, my voice which I can't just change, he made fun of how skinny I am and was pressuring me to gain weight even though its impossible for me to gain weight."

Richie's voice sounded choked up but he pushed through to finish sharing his ugly past with Eddie.

"Then came the day he dumped me. I walked in on him and his side piece fucking in our bed. I literally saw his dick inside her. I yelled and cried, I begged for an explanation and he told me that everything I did, who I fucking _am_ , made him get with her. I made him miserable apparently. I sat on the floor brokenhearted, a naked girl in my bed covering herself with the sheets, and my ex telling me how everything was my fault and I should deal with it because he wasn't stopping. Well now here comes the real kicker. Naked chick was told by fuckhead that we were in an open relationship, that I knew everything and was completely fine with it. He lied to her as well and when she saw all this go down she got dressed, slapped him in the face, literally got on the floor and apologized to me and hugged me, promising she didn't know I was in the dark. Then she stood up and left without another word. Now I was in trouble because I ruined their relationship. So on top of everything else, now all this shit is my fault and he left me on the floor crying, left the door open, and I was lucky Stan was coming over. He found me laying on the floor sobbing in the fetal position. He held me for hours on the floor, he ran his fingers through my hair, he brushed my hair out of my eyes, and he kissed the top of my head. My best friend was showing me more love than my ex ever had."

Eddie sat there in shock. He couldn't believe someone could be that cruel, he couldn't believe someone could do that to Richie. Richie, the kindest person he had ever met. Richie, the one who barely knew him but held him when he had nightmares. To know someone out there, multiple by the sound of it, could hurt someone so sweet, it was absolutely deplorable.

"I'm so sorry Rich, you did not deserve any of that. I'm so sorry that what I said scared you".

"Its not your fault. I have my issues and to hear someone say they love me, its scary as fuck and it brings me back to all the times I was told that then immediately broken. I never expected you to say it first, I was not prepared. I have been holding it in for a while now because I didn't want you to be uncomfortable", Richie said.

Eddie grabbed Richie's shirt and pulled him forward into a passionate kiss. He needed Richie to know that what he felt for Richie was true. He needed Richie to feel it in that kiss. He wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and Richie had wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist. Richie ignored the dull pain from the new piercing and kissed back just as hungrily. Eddie was careful not to hit his nose so he wouldn't irritate his new piercing.

Richie's hands started to slide lower down until they were on Eddie's thighs, being mindful of where the new tattoo was, and pulled Eddie into his lap. Eddie liked being manhandled into straddling Richie and he moaned into Richie's mouth.

They both needed air, the only downside to making out, and even though they pulled away, they still stayed close, their foreheads touching and both of them smiling sweetly and panting. Richie was stroking Eddie's back and buried his face into Eddie's neck. He lightly kissed where his mouth was at but he mostly just sat their content. Eddie closed his eyes, taking in the scent of Richie. Today he smelled of cinnamon and mint, a hint of something that was just Richie, and it was intoxicating. Eddie buried his face in Richie's curls and used one hand to stroke the taller boy's hair.

"I love you too Eddie."

Eddie swore he could feel his heart expand in his chest, like the grinch in that movie, and he felt happy.

Entering the Tozier house was more quiet than expected, no one was home so Richie and Eddie went up to Richie's room and they snuggled and took a much needed nap. They didn't stir when Went and Maggie returned, even when Maggie went to check on them, finding their cuddling endearing. They slept through Riley barging into the house yelling to her parents about how happy she was. They even slept through dinner. Maggie was so sure the smell of a home cooked meal would wake Richie and Eddie but they were dead to the world. They didn't wake up until about three in the morning, both needed to pee like they had guzzled a gallon of water and when they returned to Richie's room, they undressed and put on pajamas, might as well go back to sleep since it was extremely early.

Eddie was standing by the bed, about to get in when Richie came up behind him and wrapped him in his arms. Eddie hummed happily and felt Richie bend down to put his mouth to Eddie's ear.

"You look so hot right now", Richie whispered.

Eddie felt a jolt run down his back and the way Richie was speaking was incredibly hot.

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do about that?" Eddie asked flirtatiously but as he turned his head to look at Richie, he gave his most innocent look.

Richie groaned and shoved Eddie down, bent over the bed, and he rubbed himself against Eddie's ass.

"Something like this, you look so sexy", Richie whispered in Eddie's ear.

What happened next was quite unexpected to Richie.

"No! Stop!" Eddie cried.

Richie instantly backed off, holding his hands up, and watched Eddie turn himself around and sit on Richie's bed, wrapping his arms around his stomach and crying. Richie was terrified, had he hurt Eddie? Did he scare Eddie? He didn't know what to do, he didn't want to touch Eddie in case it freaked him out, he had no idea how to make Riley's damn tea, and he was afraid to speak because he didn't know if it was something he said.

He decided to grab the blanket in a chair and without touching Eddie, put it on him while keeping as much distance between them as possible. Maybe having that barrier would help him feel safe. Richie always used his blanket as a shield when he was little. Being under the blanket always protected you while your teddybear sat on your pillow, ready to defend.

Eddie's crying began to slow down and Richie had tossed a box of tissues on the bed next to Eddie and Eddie wiped his eyes and nose. He was trying to calm himself down and finally he was able to breathe normally again.

"I'm sorry Richie".

Richie looked at Eddie and shook his head.

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry. If I hurt you or scared you I'm so sorry. When you can, tell me what it was and I won't ever do or say it ever again", Richie said shakily.

"Patrick was behind me that day, he told me I looked sexy. He was pressed up against me like you were just now. At conversion therapy camp I was bent over a table and held down. They assaulted me every day, and sometimes they used objects. They would scream at me how I was a dirty sinner while they assaulted me. I don't think I can handle being bent over things", Eddie explained.

Richie's eyes grew wide and he almost started to tear up. What the fuck kind of messed up shit was Eddie sent to?

"Can I come closer and touch you? Wrap my arms around you, if not that's completely ok".

Eddie nodded so Richie sat down next to Eddie and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

"I'm so sorry Eddie. I didn't even think about how Patrick had you that day, I heard you in pain and scared and I saw red. I honestly don't remember how he was until he was under me on the floor with my fist repeatedly hitting his ugly face. I did not know about all that conversion camp bullshit. I will never do anything sexual to you from behind and I will never bend you over anything. I'm really sorry."

"Its ok Rich, its not your fault. I was fine when you were just hugging me, I don't mind that at all", Eddie said.

"Eddie, I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to help you always feel safe. You can always tell me when something I do is harmful to you, even if you think its silly, please always tell me and I will correct it".

Eddie smiled up at Richie, he honestly couldn't believe how caring and understanding Richie was. Richie respected Eddie, respected Eddie's body, and he fucking stopped what he was doing the second Eddie said no. Richie was good, he treated Eddie the right way, he put Eddie's needs before his own wants. Eddie moved closer to Richie's face and softly pressed his lips on Richie's. Eddie attempted to deepen the kiss so Richie cupped Eddie's cheek in his hand and Eddie turned to face Richie a little to get a better angle.

Richie leaned back on his bed, pulling Eddie with him. Eddie was straddling Richie and had all the power. Richie made sure Eddie could feel that, that Eddie called the shots and they only went as far as he wanted to go.

Eddie kissed Richie's neck, leaving a few bite marks in his wake, and agonizingly slowly, he made his way back to Richie's lips and Richie moaned deep in his chest. Eddie smiled into the kiss and sighed contently as Richie ran his hands up and down Eddie's thighs and ass.

"Rich, I gotta slow down", Eddie whispered breathlessly.

Richie stopped his movements and nodded his head.

"Everything good?"

"Yeah, I just uh, I got hard", Eddie said in a way that Richie saw as pure surprise.

"Then boners are the stopping points for us, but uh, is it both of our dicks or just yours?" Richie asked wanting to make sure he understood.

"Oh uh, well honestly I thought my dick was broken. All those times we made out, I never got hard and I was worried something was wrong with me. This time it actually happened and I'm shocked".

"Eds, your dick wasn't broken. Assault survivors can have a harder time getting it up. It doesn't mean something is wrong with your dick, just means there's a mental block. Tell your therapist about it and maybe you'll be getting boners as often and fast as me!" Richie said triumphantly.

Eddie giggled and shook his head. How was Richie so darn cute? Just when Eddie thought Richie couldn't possibly get any cuter, he was proven wrong by that adorable goofy grin.

"Thanks Richie. I just know you would get hard like as soon as we would start making out and I thought I was supposed to be like that too".

"Oh no my dear Eddie. Everyone with a penis is different, for some it takes a fucking breeze and you're at attention. For some like me, once I start getting physical then my dick is ready to play. Then for some it takes a while, not like need _Viagra_ to get it up, but just it takes a bit for your body to get completely aroused. There is nothing wrong with any of those. Sometimes it can get annoying, like when I put on the brakes during our first kiss, but sometimes it can be a good thing."

Eddie smiled at Richie. This guy was smart, and he did research on things that pertained to Eddie so he could help when Eddie needed it and that was so thoughtful. Most people wouldn't care but Richie cared. Richie proved himself over and over again. He mentally thanked whatever deity out there that placed Richie into his life.

They both got into spooning positions and quickly fell into a restful sleep. Richie had his arm around Eddie and Eddie was pressed up against Richie completely, he felt safe spooning, knowing Richie wouldn't do anything except cuddle. Right before Eddie drifted off to sleep, he felt Richie press a light kiss on his head and he smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did y'all think of that? Richie constantly in bad relationships, being scared of being told he is loved. Remember that even if they don't hit you, or even if they hit you only once, its still abuse. Emotional/metal abuse is very real and harder to see since it doesn't leave physical marks.  
> If you go through similar things please leave that relationship, you are NOT crazy, you are NOT clingy, and you are NOT seeing things wrong.  
> I have endured it and it does break you. I have literally been made to feel that I was insane. Its damaging and no one deserves that. If anyone ever needs to talk, I'm always here for y'all, my tumblr is the same as on here, fuji09  
> I love y'all and thank you for continuing this wild ride (haha see what I did there?) with me. Your comments and kudos are everything to me and help me stay motivated and sure about my writing.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie sat in the chair, waiting to get disgrace covered. He honestly felt weird at first not being able to see those words but he noticed he started feeling better about himself when he saw beautiful art instead of hateful words. He was practically vibrating with excitement as he watched Richie show Jordan the design. Both of them were whispering to each other and when they finally broke apart, Jordan began to get everything he needed out. Richie sat down next to Eddie and grabbed his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning  
> cutting and some blood mention  
> eating disorder
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 31**

Over the next few weeks Eddie and Richie would make a trip out to the Tozier house, spend time with the family, and get more tattoos for Eddie, and sometimes Richie got one as well, but mostly they only went to continue Eddie's cover up journey. One leg was already done, He got the words ugly and dirty covered, ugly was covered by beautiful flowers, with their colors rainbow. Dirty was covered by an hourglass with a starry background.

On his other leg he got alone and shame covered, shame was covered up by a gorgeous tree with vibrant red, orange, and yellow leaves. Alone was covered up by a watercolor tattoo, it looked like he was splotched with pink, purple, and blue paint and in black drawn over it was a heart.

Now he was there for the last one. He was excited to see what the last tattoo design was going to be, he was nervous as he always was beforehand but Richie held his hand in the truck. Richie was smiling the entire drive to the tattoo shop and it made Eddie's chest feel warm and fuzzy.

Eddie sat in the chair, waiting to get disgrace covered. He honestly felt weird at first not being able to see those words but he noticed he started feeling better about himself when he saw beautiful art instead of hateful words. He was practically vibrating with excitement as he watched Richie show Jordan the design. Both of them were whispering to each other and when they finally broke apart, Jordan began to get everything he needed out. Richie sat down next to Eddie and grabbed his hand.

"Ready for the last one?"

Eddie nodded and smiled. He was so ready to see what it was, Richie kept hyping it up the entire week, knowing it was driving Eddie crazy. Soon the Jordan began and Richie and Eddie talked, sometimes to Jordan but mostly to each other. Eddie still didn't really feel the pain but the vibration could get a little annoying. Quinn had popped her head in to see how they were doing, if they needed anything, Richie asked for a _Coke_ and Eddie asked for a _Diet Coke._

Five hours later and the tattoo was done. Richie took a photo of it before Eddie was allowed to look at it and when he did, his jaw dropped. The design was similar to a Mandela but it wasn't circular. The colors all faded perfectly into the next, it was every color of ink they had. Eddie was at a loss for words which made Richie nervous.

"Uh, what do you think Eds?"

Eddie snapped out of it and looked at Richie with a huge smile, "I love it, oh my god, I love it! Thank you!"

Eddie and Richie came back to their college late that night so they ended up running to _Taco Bell_ and stayed in Richie's truck talking for hours, Eddie was getting sleepy but he was enjoying himself way too much. He even ate one whole taco! Richie noticed that if he kept Eddie's attention and talking to him, Eddie would tend to eat more than if he was paying attention. Richie felt slightly bad about it but he also knew the smaller boy needed to eat more and was still underweight.

They finally went to their rooms at three in the morning and kissed each other goodnight before going their separate ways. They had plans with the rest of their friends the next day and that was when Eddie was going to show everyone the last tattoo. He hadn't even told Richie, but he was planning on wearing shorts, the short ones he bought but this time without the fishnets. He was so nervous and he knew the scars would be seen by everyone but he felt braver since all the words were covered. He knew he could do it.

The next morning Eddie was woken up by Bill, and Eddie was not in the mood to be woken up. He groaned and turned onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. His hair stuck out everywhere, he looked like he had a lion mane. He mumbled something Bill didn't understand but Bill still shook him.

"Come on Eddie, w-we are supposed to be going to _IHOP_ soon. Get up", Bill said as he still shook Eddie.

Eddie groaned again but he sat up, stretched and yawned. He was a bit hungry so he got his ass up and went to take a shower. He was washing his hair when he heard someone come in, he didn't think much of it until he heard the person start talking quietly.

"I don't have all day Tozier. What is it you want? I literally sold to you three days ago", a voice Eddie didn't recognize spoke.

"I know that you are friendly with Patrick, I need to know if he is actually out on bail like I heard", Richie said sounding almost scared.

"Why? Afraid he's gonna fuck that little twink of-" Eddie heard the voice cut off with a yelp.

"Bowers I swear to god I will fuck you up just like I did with him. Now tell me!" Richie almost yelled.

Eddie was shaking as he stood in the shower. What could he do? Richie was talking to someone about Patrick not knowing Eddie was in there and he felt like he was doing something wrong, he wasn't trying to hear but he was hearing it all. The water still ran hot and Eddie hoped that it would stay that way until Richie left. He didn't want Richie knowing he was there hearing everything.

"Fuck! Fine! Yeah he's out, bail wasn't that much. His parents payed it. Not like he's gonna go to prison or anything", Bowers said in an annoyed tone.

"Fuck!" Richie yelled.

Sounds of running was heard, must have been Bowers, because Eddie heard Richie repeating "fuck" over and over. Eddie wanted to comfort him but he was also terrified, what if Patrick came back? He still has his jacket! He still sometimes slept in it and he knew it was starting to smell more like him the more he slept in it. Eddie began to cry and he looked around, searching for something sharp, looked through his shower caddy and he found another hidden stash of razor blades. Bill never thought to look there so once the hidden spot in Eddie's drawer was exposed he used the caddy. Eddie took the blade and sliced through the skin on his arm, his breath hitched from the pain and he whimpered. He tried to stay quiet so Richie wouldn't hear.

"Uh, are you ok?" Richie asked.

He sounded like he had come a little closer but still far enough away that he wouldn't see the blood in the water pooling on the ground. Eddie watched it swirl around to go down the drain and he made another cut. That one hurt even more, Eddie accidentally cut a little deeper than intended and he made a pained sound as quietly as he could.

"Dude, are you hurt? Do I need to call someone?" Richie asked sounding closer.

Eddie made one more cut and dropped the blade, the metal made a ding sound as it hit the tile. Footsteps sounded like they were getting closer and Eddie was trying to think of something to say.

"Fine!" Eddie squeaked out.

"Holy fuck! You're bleeding!" Richie yelled and whipped the shower curtain open. 

Eddie jumped and yelped and tried to cover himself but Richie paid no mind to his nudity. Richie was inside the shower, water streaming on his fully clothed body and he grabbed Eddie's arm. Tears glinted in Richie's eyes as he stared at the cuts.

"Eddie, baby, why?" Richie asked trying to hold back sobs that were threatening to come out.

"I'm scared... P-Patrick", Eddie sobbed out.

Eddie was full on crying now, he tried to yank his arm away but Richie held on tight.

"You heard that? Fuck I'm so sorry! This is all my fault. Hold on", Richie said as he started to take his Hawaiian shirt off that was now soaked. He wrapped it around Eddie's arm as tight as possible and yanked one of his shoelaces out of his shoe and tied the shirt on Eddie's arm. Eddie just stood there shaking and crying. Richie knelt down to grab the razor and stuffed it in his pocket. He turned the water off and grabbed Eddie's towel wrapping it around him.

"I'll get your stuff. Let's get you to your room".

Richie grabbed Eddie's clothes and his shower caddy and held them all in one arm, his other arm around Eddie as he walked him to his room. Once inside Richie helped Eddie dry off, then helped him put on some underwear. Eddie sat on his bed, staring at the wall on Bill's side of the room while Richie started going through Bill's first aid kit. He found gauze, bandages, and alcohol wipes. He untied the shoelace and unwrapped the shirt off Eddie's arm, blood trickled out of the cuts, the deeper one with more blood coming out. Richie kept his shirt under Eddie's arm so blood wouldn't fall on the floor.

Richie grabbed the alcohol wipes and began to clean the cuts, Eddie cried out in pain but Richie made sure he wiped all the cuts. He then grabbed the gauze and put it over the cuts and grabbed the bandaging. He began wrapped it around Eddie's arm, keeping pressure on the gauze. Once he felt satisfied with the amount of bandaging he grabbed the medical tape and cut a piece off and placed it on the end of the bandage.

Eddie still had that far away look in his eyes as he stared at the wall, Richie grabbed a sweater and pajama pants and tried helping Eddie get dressed, it wasn't easy. Eddie was out of it, Richie thought maybe he was disassociating or something. He finally got clothes on Eddie and sat him back down but Eddie ended up laying down on his side. Richie was so scared, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He was still in soaking wet clothes that were getting colder. Thankfully as Richie started to really freak out, Bill walked in. Before Bill could speak he saw how frazzled Richie was and how out of it Eddie was, still having tears flow.

Bill ran to Eddie and pulled his sleeves up and then sighed. He stood up and looked at Richie.

"W-what happened?"

"I was questioning Bowers in the bathroom about Patrick getting out on bail, I didn't know Eddie was in there showering. He heard it all and got scared and did that!" Richie said as he pointed to Eddie's arm.

"Patrick is out on bail?!"

Richie nodded sadly. Bill grabbed a bottle of sweet tea out of their mini fridge and opened it. He grabbed a straw and stuck it in the bottle. He held it up at Eddie's face.

"Drink".

Eddie began to drink, and his eyes started looking less glassy. Once the tea was gone Eddie sat up shaking his head.

"Something really cold can help ground him", Bill explained to Richie.

About twenty minutes later Bill started to question Eddie.

"W-where are th-the razors Eddie?"

"Richie took it".

Richie pulled out the razor and handed it to Bill.

"And th-the rest?" Bill asked.

Eddie just stared at the ground. It was quiet for a minute and Bill asked again but still Eddie didn't speak. That's when Richie thought about how Eddie cut because of what he heard, he wasn't planning on it so the rest must be-

"In the shower caddy!" Richie held the pack of razors triumphantly.

Bill grabbed those as well and left to discard of them where Eddie wouldn't see.

"You should get away while you still can", Eddie whispered.

Richie looked hurt but sat down on his knees in front of Eddie.

"No way, I don't scare that easily. I'm gonna stay right here and protect you from that asshat".

A small smile escaped Eddie's lips and he put his forehead on Richie's. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, Eddie spread his legs open to let Richie get closer. Richie moved to place his head at Eddie's chest and he could hear the smaller boy's heart beating. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie and they stayed just like that for a while. Neither spoke, only their breathing was heard.

Bill came back and told them they needed to finish getting ready if they were still going to meet up with everyone. Richie left to get his things and put on dry clothes and Eddie took the pajama pants off and grabbed his pair of shorts. Even after his shitty morning he was still going to be brave about this, even though he felt like a coward. He also put on a short sleeved shirt and Bill's eyes widen when he saw that Eddie was going to go out without being completely covered.

"W-wow, th-the tattoos look amazing."

"Thanks Bill."

Bill, Eddie, Richie, and Stan all walked together to meet up with the rest of their friends. Eddie and Richie held hands and joked around while Bill was discreetly explaining to Stan what happened that morning. They got to _IHOP_ at the same time as Ben, Bev, Mike, and Vic. Everyone gawked at Eddie's tattoos, not a word was said about his scars and Eddie actually felt confident. They all walked in and once they got a table, the waitress took their drink order and everyone passed around menus.

"I'm going to get the biggest stack of pancakes they have, then get another on top of that stack and eat my tower of pancakey goodness!" Richie yelled.

Everyone either booed him or laughed. Eddie smiled and looked at Richie with such love in his eyes that Richie almost had to look away. They ordered their food and chatted among themselves.

"Seriously Eddie, you look amazing, Richie did a fantastic job designing your tattoos", Bev said once the table got a little quiet.

Eddie beamed at her and it made her smile.

"Yeah Eddie, You'll have to wear shorts from now on to show them off!" Mike said cheerfully.

Their food came and went, not much was said while they ate, everyone was hungrier than they realized and once they were done, everyone sat back and groaned.

"So full", Richie said as he rubbed his belly.

"I didn't know I could eat that many pancakes", Mike said laughing.

Eddie was the only one with food still on his plate. Richie managed to distract him enough to eat half a pancake but that was all. The waitress came back with another waitress to help and they started to pick up their empty dishes.

"Was something wrong with your food darlin'?" the waitress helping their's asked Eddie.

"Oh no, it was good. I just don't eat much", Eddie said softly, hoping the question didn't gather everyone's attention.

"Sweetheart, you need to start eatin' more! You're looking a bit anorexic there".

Eddie's eyes widen and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He stood up and ran to the bathroom and Richie promptly followed after him after giving the waitress the finger.

"Eddie! Don't listen to-"

Richie's words were cut off by the sound of vomiting. Richie ran to the stall Eddie was in and pounded on the door.

"Eddie, let me in, please".

Eddie ignored him at first but Richie persisted so finally Eddie unlocked the stall. Richie rushed in and wrapped his arms around Eddie.

"Fuck that bitch! People need to stop commenting on other people's weight! Fuck!" Richie yelled still holding Eddie tight.

The bathroom door opened and Bill walked in.

"Hey, uh, w-we should go, like now!"

Eddie and Richie looked confused until they were out of the bathroom and heard angry shouting, at first they didn't know who it was but as they got closer to the door they saw it was Ben yelling at the waitress.

"You don't fucking say anything about people's weight! What the fuck is wrong with you?! His weight is none of your goddamn business! How much or how little he eats is none of your fucking business! People like you are why so many people hate their own fucking bodies!"

They saw Mike, Stan, and even Vic try to pull Ben away from the terrified waitress. Ben was strong and he wasn't going to leave until he was done without a fight.

"You should say sorry to my FRIEND because he didn't deserve that shit! You need to learn some goddamn manners!"

Eddie and Richie's jaw dropped as they heard Ben, sweet quiet Ben yelling profanities. Bev stood near the door looking completely shocked but also seemed proud.

"I'm sorry!" The waitress yelled and finally ran into the kitchen.

Ben stopped struggling and cleared his throat.

"My apologies to everyone who had to witness that. Ma'am, here is an extra twenty for being so nice to us", Ben said as he gave their actual waitress the money.

They all left and instantly everyone was talking all at once.

"Holy shit! I didn't know you knew how to swear!"

"You were amazing!"

"Thank you, for defending me", Eddie said and everyone stopped talking.

Ben hugged Eddie and it was quiet. Everyone let them have their moment.

"I know how it is to struggle with weight, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at all. It just triggered something in me and I got so angry she hurt you", Ben whispered low enough that only Eddie could hear it.

Eddie nodded and squeezed just a little tighter to assure Ben he was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who else loved Ben coming to the rescue so fierce? Its always the quiet ones you have to watch out for. Eddie is starting to feel like his friend group is becoming family, especially after Ben defended him.  
> Let me know what y'all think!


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a week since the IHOP incident, as it came to be known, and life seemed to be going back to normal for everyone, well everyone that is except Eddie. He was constantly looking over his shoulder, double checking that his dorm room was locked, and anyone that even remotely looked like Patrick made Eddie freak out for a second. He hated feeling this way but he knew he had to be wary, he knew Patrick would come for him. He wasn't sure how he knew it but he did and it frightened him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I am sorry for the wait, I know I didn't update last week, I worked on my other fic because that was what I was inspired to write. I'm back now and I hope its worth the wait.
> 
> Trigger warning  
> sexual assault, it isn't described, it just cuts to afterwards but the aftermath of it is detailed. I didn't feel like writing another assault scene.

**Chapter 32**

It had been a week since the _IHOP_ incident, as it came to be known, and life seemed to be going back to normal for everyone, well everyone that is except Eddie. He was constantly looking over his shoulder, double checking that his dorm room was locked, and anyone that even remotely looked like Patrick made Eddie freak out for a second. He hated feeling this way but he knew he had to be wary, he knew Patrick would come for him. He wasn't sure how he knew it but he did and it frightened him.

Classes had been going well for Eddie, he had aced the test he had taken and was walking across the campus happily. He stopped at the cafe to get a coffee from Mike, it was a bit chilly so he felt like a nice hot cup of coffee would really hit the spot. He wore a borrowed hoodie from Richie that the taller boy had given him to wear for his test, swearing it was lucky. Eddie preferred the fact that it smelled like Richie over the supposedly luckiness. It was black and grey, an obscure band name written across it, it was too big for Eddie but he loved how it made him feel cozy and warm. Black skinny jeans and a grey beanie to finish the look, he looked adorable and small.

"Mikey! Guess what! I passed the test!" Eddie yelled excitedly as he entered the cafe.

Ben stood at the register smiling, flour all over himself as usual. Amazingly enough, his apron was the cleaning part of him!

"That's amazing! Mike is in the back, I'll go get him", Ben said then went through the door leading to the back area.

Mike ran out smiling and wrapped his arms around Eddie and picked him up and spun him around, Eddie giggling and Mike laughing, it was a sweet sight. Once Mike put Eddie down they sat at a table, Mike asked Ben for some coffees and then gave all his attention to Eddie.

"I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do it!" Mike said happily.

Eddie smiled and felt a flush crawl up his neck and cheeks. He always got bashful when someone complimented him, especially Mike because it was always so sincere. Ben brought them their coffees and they chatted away for a while, enjoying each other's company.

"So how are things with Vic?"

"Amazing, he's taken me out on a few dates and sometimes we stay in at his place and watch movies and cuddle. He really is sweet", Mike said dreamily.

Eddie smiled. He loved when his friends were happy, Mike deserved to meet someone who made him smile like this, he hadn't been lucky in the dating department growing up, he was one of the few black kids where he grew up and a lot of the people there weren't friendly to anyone even remotely "different".

"I'm really happy for you Mikey".

Eddie arrived back at his dorm to find a note on the door inside letting him know that Bill had gone out with Stan and would be back later that evening. Eddie rarely had time alone so he used it to clean up his side of the room, and let's be real, Bill's side too. He was in a good mood and even sent a text to Richie inviting him over.

A knock at the door brought him back to the present from thinking of a few things he could do with Richie, he walked to the door and opened it and his smile immediately disappeared and he looked terrified.

"Hey cutie, you miss me?"

Patrick fucking Hockstetter stood in the doorway smirking as he looked Eddie up and down with lustful eyes. He wore skinny jeans and a vintage looking tee with a flannel shirt over it, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. If it wasn't for the scary look on his face, he would almost look attractive.

He shoved his way through and shut the door, this time making sure it was locked. Eddie backed up slowly, unsure of what to do, he couldn't make himself scream or run. Patrick looked around and saw his leather jacket hanging in Eddie's closest.

"I see you kept my jacket huh? Needed a reminder of the best dick you'll ever get?"

Eddie still couldn't find it in him to speak. He was violently trembling and his eyes were tearing up. Patrick walked up to Eddie who was now pressed up against his desk, and he guided him to the bed and made Eddie sit. Patrick sat down next to him and honestly looked at a loss on where to start. A single tear slipped down Eddie's cheek and Patrick chuckled.

"I don't know why you're so jumpy, you should be happy I'm back. Now you don't have to wear my jacket to get off", Patrick said with a grin.

Eddie scrunched up his nose and shook his head. He did not do that and certainly not with Patrick's jacket on.

"Oh? Then what? You sleep in it like a little bitch?"

Eddie felt his face blush furiously and he looked away, he did not want to give Patrick that satisfaction.

"You can't stand that I haven't been here to take care of you. Oh you are too cute!"

"Please just go, please", Eddie begged softly.

Patrick laughed and pulled Eddie onto his lap, with a bit of struggle he finally got Eddie straddling him and had a death grip on Eddie's hips, there would surely be bruises there later. Eddie kept his arms over his chest, his fists under his chin and refused to look Patrick in the eye.

"Alright cutie, don't be a fucking brat, I'm not into bratty twinks so be good!" Patrick demanded.

Eddie jumped and whimpered, he was scared and unsure of what to do. He felt one of Patrick's hand move to cup Eddie's cheek, rubbing softly with his thumb, then slowly slid his hand down to Eddie's neck and inhaled sharply.

"I don't think you understand how fucking hot it is that I can wrap my hand around your whole throat. You are so tiny, I just want to _wreck_ you", Patrick whispered as he lightly squeezed Eddie's neck.

Eddie wondered if this was it, did he really go out by being strangled by his assailant? He felt Patrick's grip tighten, it was slow but it got to where he couldn't breathe. He struggled for air, just a little bit of air and he would be fine. Instead he began to feel fuzzy, his vision darkened and he saw colored spots. He could hear Patrick laughing but it sounded distant.

"Oh you are hard! See? I knew you enjoyed this! Now let go and let me take care of you."

That was the last thing Eddie heard before his vision went completely black, and shame was the last thing he felt.

Eddie awoke in his bed, it was dark and cold. He realized he was completely naked and he froze as he remembered that he blacked out with Patrick in his room. His body ached, he felt gross and even sticky. He tried to breathe but he ended up laying on his stomach sobbing. His knees were bent and his ass was in the air as best as it could with him being dead weight for so long. He heard voices in the hall but he paid no mind, that is until he heard the door opening and then the room was filled with blinding light.

"Holy fuck! Eddie!"

Bill, Stan, and Richie ran to Eddie's bed but before anyone could do anything Eddie yelled, "Don't you fucking touch me!"

All three boys took a step back, their hands up in surrender, afraid to scare their friend even more. He was covered in dried semen on his back and his ass, there was semen dripping out of his asshole, his hair was a wreck and honestly looked as if semen had been spread around in his hair. His neck was a bright red all around, he had bruises on his hips, thighs, ass cheeks, and arms. He had bite marks on his thighs, a few looked to have bled. Eddie's cheeks were tear stained with fresh tears cutting through. There was a little blood mixed with the semen coming out his ass, and a pool of blood under his stomach. He was afraid to find out why his stomach burned so badly. Cigarette burns were peppered on his arms and back.

"Eddie, w-we gotta clean you up and tend to your w-wounds."

"And cover you up, I'm sure feeling this exposed doesn't help", Stan added.

Richie stood there in silence, Eddie was hurt, Eddie was assaulted again and Richie had been unable to prevent it. He tried so hard to find out where Patrick was and make sure he had no way to get to Eddie. He felt useless and in that moment he wanted to murder Patrick.

Eddie sat up on his knees, his ass touching his heels, he felt more semen slide out his ass and he cringed at the feeling, and that's when everyone saw why there was blood pooled on the bed. Across his stomach, the words Property of Patrick were carved crudely into his skin. Eddie felt faint as he saw the cuts and he passed out, unaware of Richie catching him before he fell off the bed.

Eddie awoke in a hospital room, the room was darkened but he could see all around the room. All his friends were there, Ben, Beverly, Mike, and Vic sat on the floor with their backs against the wall and leaning on each other asleep. Stan and Bill were sitting in a chair asleep, Stan holding Bill in his lap. Eddie looked around but didn't see Richie until he felt movement next to him. Cuddled up to Eddie was Richie. His tall lanky ass looking uncomfortable on the small bed only meant for one person, his arm around Eddie's waist and his head on Eddie's arm and chest. He was sound asleep, light snores could be heard and his glasses were still on. Eddie was wearing a hospital gown but thankfully the bed had extra blankets.

Eddie looked around to find a clock and when he found one he saw that it was two in the morning. No wonder everyone was asleep. He tried to remember why he was here, he vaguely remembered feeling achy and then it hit him like a train, Patrick. This was all because of Patrick. Eddie took a deep breath and felt Richie stir. He tried to stay still so he wouldn't have to talk to Richie but Richie awoke and saw that Eddie had woken up and he smiled a dopey smile.

"Hey Eds, how are you feeling?"

"I- I don't know. I don't really feel anything right now."

Richie chuckled but it felt strained.

"Yeah, that's because they gave you some strong painkillers. Oh shit! Is it ok that I'm touching you? I can get off the bed!" Richie asked as he started to move around.

"You're fine, I'm sorry I yelled earlier."

Richie relaxed and looked at Eddie.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I swear I'll never leave your side again," Richie whispered as he scooted up so he could wrap his arm around Eddie.

Eddie leaned against Richie and let the warmth overtake his cold weary body. Richie held him securely but not too tight or overbearing.

"What all is wrong with me?"

Richie inhaled and was quiet for a moment.

"You uh, have cigarette burns, apparently some tears... down there, bruises and bite marks, no permanent damage to your neck thankfully but he squeezed hard, you uh, have irritation in your throat, and you stomach is cut up. They gave you meds for any possible STDs, antibacterial cream for the cuts, and painkillers for the pain, well yeah you know that. Sorry. They did a rape kit on you. I'm sorry if you didn't want one. Bill called his parents and asked if he should allow it and they said yes. I didn't want to until you woke up but it was done", Richie explained.

Eddie sat there for a minute just thinking. He wasn't angry about the rape kit, he knew it was in his best interest, he also was grateful for his friends. He knew they were tired and uncomfortable, all to make sure he was going to be ok. Richie shifted a little, he was nervous at what Eddie would say.

"Thank you", Eddie said softly.

Richie squeezed a little as a hug and Eddie looked up at Richie, his face was close to Richie's and he could tell Richie was unsure of what to do. Eddie pressed a soft kiss on Richie's lips and then nuzzled his face into Richie's neck. Richie wrapped his other arm around Eddie and held him. Eddie felt his hair get wet and he realized Richie was crying.

"I'm so so sorry baby", Richie whispered, "I love you and I'm here for you."

Eddie teared up at Richie's words and simply nodded. He was saying "I love you too" and Richie knew that, he didn't need the words right now. He was going to protect Eddie, he was going to use some favors he had to make sure Eddie would never be in harm's way again. His phone dinged and he pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the message.

**Belch: I was told you had a job for me?**

**Richie: yeah, you are going to be my boyfriend's bodyguard**

**Belch: No problem. $800 a week.**

**Richie: you will be at his side when I'm not around. you will go to classes with him, to the fucking bathroom, you will not let him out of your sight for a second**

**Belch: Sure. Days and nights?**

**Richie: yes, not every night though because I plan on staying with him some nights too**

**Belch: Alright. I'll bring a contract when I start for all three of us to sign.**

**Richie: sounds good, I'll explain the situation then so you can be on the lookout for a specific person**

**Belch Got it boss.**

Richie put his phone back in his pocket and realized the smaller boy had fallen asleep. He smiled softly and lightly squeezed one more time before closing his eyes, not even realizing he had called Eddie his boyfriend for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I'm sorry I keep putting our baby through so much! What did y'all think? Did y'all prefer not having an assault scene and just detailed aftermath? Let me know what y'all think. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, even though its pretty heavy.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie was released from the hospital two days later. Belch had stood at the room doorway any time Richie had to leave. The rest of his friends left after Eddie's insistence that they didn't need to stay cramped in a small room the entire time he was there. Richie was the only one who stayed day and night, only leaving a few times but coming back as soon as possible.
> 
> Eddie found he liked Belch, he was a bit crude but he was soft towards Eddie and any thing Eddie needed, Eddie got. Belch told him jokes, told him stories about his life, where his nickname Belch came from, and overall treated Eddie like a friend. He never left Eddie's sight when Richie was gone, not even to use the bathroom. Belch had a suspicion that Eddie didn't fully comprehend why he was there but he didn't mind, Eddie was kind to him so this job was quite easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to make up for all the angst, this chapter is pure sweet fluff. Enjoy!

**Chapter 33**

Eddie was released from the hospital two days later. Belch had stood at the room doorway any time Richie had to leave. The rest of his friends left after Eddie's insistence that they didn't need to stay cramped in a small room the entire time he was there. Richie was the only one who stayed day and night, only leaving a few times but coming back as soon as possible.

Eddie found he liked Belch, he was a bit crude but he was soft towards Eddie and any thing Eddie needed, Eddie got. Belch told him jokes, told him stories about his life, where his nickname Belch came from, and overall treated Eddie like a friend. He never left Eddie's sight when Richie was gone, not even to use the bathroom. Belch had a suspicion that Eddie didn't fully comprehend why he was there but he didn't mind, Eddie was kind to him so this job was quite easy.

The day Eddie was released, Richie brought him back to his dorm, he wanted Eddie to stay in his room for a couple of nights, hoping Belch might find Patrick quickly. When Belch wasn't guarding Eddie, he was searching for Patrick. Eddie didn't know about that, he was just happy to be staying in Richie's room for a while, he hadn't gone back into his room since the assault, Bill and Stan were kind enough to clean the entire room after the police collected everything they needed to build their case. The bed sheets were changed and thrown out. Every inch of that room was cleaned, Stan made sure he bought the cleaning supplies Eddie trusted, only name brands and specific name brands, poor Bill never remembered which ones were Eddie certified.

Eddie appreciated everything his friends were doing for him, Mike and Ben delivered food to Richie's dorm room every day so they didn't need to leave the room to get food, Bev actually made Eddie a pair of pajamas and a few sweaters which Eddie appreciated dearly. Vic would come by to check on Eddie, talk to him and listen if he needed someone who understand a lot of what Eddie went through, those times Richie would leave the room but sit in the hallway by the door. He never minded the times Eddie spoke to Vic instead of him, he was glad Eddie was talking to someone, even if it wasn't always him.

This carried on for three weeks, Eddie didn't leave Richie's room except to shower and use the restroom, and Richie or Belch always went with him. Eddie was starting to feel safe again, he felt he was almost ready to go back to his room. He loved sleeping in Richie's bed but he knew he needed to go back to his own bed eventually. He felt bad leaving Bill alone but Stan sometimes stayed the night with Bill.

"Rich, I think I'm ready to go to back to my room", Eddie said while watching _Steven Universe_ with Richie.

Richie paused the show and smiled.

"You sure?"

"Yes, you'll go with me though, right?" Eddie asked softly.

"Of course Eddie my love."

Richie and Eddie walked into Eddie's room and it smelled clean, it looked clean, and Eddie was able to let out the breath he was holding. He looked around and saw no evidence of Patrick ever being there until his eyes landed on his closet. Still hanging in his closet was Patrick's leather jacket. Eddie walked over to it and noticed paper sticking out of the pocket. He pulled it out and read the note that was for him.

**Left my jacket here for you cutie.**

**I know how much you enjoy it.**

**I can't wait until I see you again.**

**Patrick**

Eddie gasped and dropped the note. He knew Patrick would come back, Patrick was relentless. He bent down to grab the note again and silently handed it to Richie. Once the note was read, Richie crumpled it up into a ball and threw it. He was livid, Patrick was threatening Eddie, he needed to find him soon and put a stop to all this.

"Let's go back to my room, yeah?" Richie asked.

Eddie nodded and felt a small amount of relief when Richie put his arm around his shoulders and walked him back. They started up the next episode of _Steven Universe_ and cuddled each other, trying to distract from the unsettling note. Richie was going to find Patrick, he was going to find him and make him pay for what he did to Eddie. He thought of so many different scenarios for how he would make Patrick pay. Eddie was unaware to all of it, Richie didn't want his sweet Eds to know how far he was willing to go to protect the boy he loved. He didn't want to scare him or make him feel unsafe.

Bev and Ben came over a few days later to hang out, they had been spending a lot more time together and officially started dating. Ben's sweet face constantly had a smile and Bev was practically glowing. They were both so incredibly happy and it showed, always touching in some way.

"You liking the color Eddie?" Bev asked as she painted one of his nails.

She brought over nail polish and everyone agreed to let her paint their nails. Richie had picked out black of course, Eddie picked out a bright but dark purple, and Ben picked a pale shade of yellow. Bev already had neon blue nails and was happy to paint her friend's nails, she was in a mood to paint nails.

"Yes, its really pretty", Eddie said with a smile.

Eddie had been wearing a black and purple striped sweater Bev made him, it was a little big on him but it was cute. He picked out the purple nail polish because it was almost the exact same shade of purple as the stripes on his sweater. Richie's nails had already been painted and he was trying extremely hard to not touch them until they were completely dry. Bev had to fix a nail twice before she threatened to tie Richie up, cue innuendo from their beloved Trashmouth, Ben blushed, and Eddie giggled. It was a nice day spending time together and just relaxing.

"Oh Eddie, did you like those muffins I brought yesterday? Mike did something different with them and wanted input."

"Ben, those muffins were the best damn things I've eaten in a while, I almost ate an entire muffin! I'm guessing lemon juice was added", Eddie responded.

Ben nodded and sent a text to Mike letting him know that his lemon blueberry muffins were a hit. Bev finished Eddie's nails and began to start on Ben's. He had never had his nails painted before but he held as still as he could, sometimes holding his breath which made Bev smile.

Stan and Bill walked in and chuckled at the sight. They set their stuff down then joined everyone else on the floor.

"Nail painting party I see?" Bill teased.

"Pick a color because you boys are next!" Bev said in a sing-song voice.

Stan picked out a pretty lime green while Bill took a while to pick but he finally decided on a silver polish. Once Ben was finished it was Stan's turn. He tried to hide how much he was enjoying it but the twitches at the corner of his mouth gave it away. All they needed was Mike and Vic to join and they would be complete. Of course Mike and Vic knocked on the door ten minutes later, Richie let them in, his nails finally dry.

"Ooh can you do my nails too?" Mike asked sweetly.

Bev nodded and pointed at her case of polish. Vic instantly grabbed a bottle of neon orange nail polish and Mike grabbed a bottle of white nail polish. Once Bill was done, Mike sat next to Bev. Vic handed out bottled juices from the cafe he and Mike brought for everyone. The room was crowded but they didn't mind, Richie had put Eddie on his lap to open up some space, and to hold his favorite person, while Stan and Bill sat on Richie's bed.

"Alright! Everyone is done! I'm honestly so excited that everyone wanted their nails done", Bev said happily.

Vic was blowing on his nails to help them dry faster while the group tried to decide what they should do. Each of them had an idea, it was a matter of picking which idea and since everyone voted for their own idea, they had to rule that you couldn't vote for your own idea.

"Ok, so Bill suggested going to an escape room, Vic suggested going somewhere for dinner, Bev suggested going to the mall, Eddie suggested going to see a movie, Ben suggested going to the park, Richie suggested going swimming at the lake, Mike suggested going clubbing, and I suggested going to the arcade. Write on your paper your vote, fold them, then pass them up to me", Stan instructed.

The votes were counted and Richie's idea to go swimming at the lake won. Richie cheered loudly and Eddie covered his mouth with his hand to silence the loud boy. Of course Richie decided that licking Eddie's hand was fair game. Eddie yanked his hand away, wiping it on his pants, and glaring at Richie.

"Gross!"

Richie laughed and just squeezed his arms around Eddie. Now that it was decided what to do, each of them went to grab the things they would need, swimwear, snacks, towels, a change of clothes, drinks, and sunscreen. The lake was surprisingly not too far from their college so they walked all the way there, took about half an hour but no one minded. Richie was giving Eddie a piggyback ride since he got worn out too easily, he hadn't been exercising or doing much since his hospital visit, it didn't help that the medication they gave Eddie made him sleepy so he had been sleeping a lot more.

Finally they got to the lake and it was perfect, no one was there, they had the whole lake to themselves, the sand was warm, and the water was cool. Stan being the most practical of them all, started setting up their area with towels, spraying sunscreen on everyone, even Richie to his disdain, he insisted he didn't need it but Stan gave him _the look_ and Richie gave in. They started to undress, their swimwear underneath, and put their clothes in a bag to keep sand from getting in their clothing.

Bev had a cute red bikini, and the rest of the boys had varying colors of swim trunks, although Richie's were a loud Hawaiian floral print. Eddie wore a t-shirt with his trunks, not ready to be so exposed to everyone. They all ran into the lake and they were splashing and laughing and having a great time just having fun. Richie stayed close to Eddie, sometimes pulling him close and giving him a kiss. Eddie's smile each time he did that made Richie's heart soar. Then Richie being Richie, ruined the moment by splashing Eddie in the face. Eddie squealing in pretend anger and trying to splash Richie back, they were blissfully unaware that everyone else was watching and finding amusement in their friends blatantly flirting.

Later on everyone grew hungry so they all went to their towels and had something to eat and drink, laying out sunbathing, and reapplying sunscreen.

"This was the best idea Rich", Eddie said softly laying next to Richie.

Richie hummed in response and turned on his side to face Eddie. He looked at the beautiful boy next to him, the sun kissing his tan skin, his freckles very noticeable, the wind blowing through his hair, and the most perfect smile on his face as he closed his eyes. Richie wanted to have that mental image forever, he also wanted an actual image of it as well so he quietly grabbed his phone and took a photo of how peaceful Eddie looked. The sun was setting in the background and it made Eddie look even more angelic. If Richie wasn't surrounded by his friends he would have pounced on Eddie to have a nice makeout session.

"I can feel you staring at me", Eddie mumbled, still with his eyes closed.

Richie chuckled and leaned over to leave a soft kiss on Eddie's lips. Eddie smiled and wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and held Richie over him for a moment, just looking at him and smiling. He was having a perfect day, he hadn't had a day like this in a long time and he was living for it.

"I love you Eds", Richie whispered.

"I love you too", Eddie whispered back.

They stayed at the lake way past dark, there was a spot that was set up for making a campfire so Mike and Bill set it up and a nice fire kept them warm and kept the area lit up. Everyone huddled around the fire, telling jokes and stories, drinking some beers Vic had grabbed, and roasting marshmallows Bill brought, thankfully Stan saw and brought along pokers just for roasting marshmallows or hotdogs.

Richie and Eddie and been sitting at the edge of the water, looking at the lake under the moonlight. It was kind of romantic, Richie had his arm around Eddie, Eddie had his head laying on Richie's shoulder, it was a perfect moment just for the two of them. No one bothered them, they were left alone to just be.

"This is beautiful", Eddie said breathless.

"Yeah, you are."

Eddie moved his head off of Richie's shoulder to look at the taller boy when Richie swooped in and kissed Eddie. Eddie placed his hand on Richie's cheek, the gesture soft and comforting. Richie pulled the smaller boy on him to where Eddie was straddling him but it wasn't sexual. They kissed softly, taking each other in, Eddie's hands in Richie's hair, Richie's hands lightly rubbing Eddie's back. They kissed by the lake, under the moonlight, and it was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does everyone feel better now? I hope so! I figured some fluff was needed after that intense chapter. Let me know what y'all think!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie sat on his bed, his back against the wall, typing on his laptop to finish the essay that he had to turn in next week. He hated writing essays so he always did them a little early to give himself plenty of time to work on it.
> 
> He was able to be in his room for small increments of time, usually just for doing homework because Richie was way too distracting to try to do homework in his room. Belch sat on Bill's bed, quiet as usual, and Eddie almost had that essay done when he heard a knock at the door.  
> Belch stood up and opened the door, about to ask whoever it was what they wanted when the person shoved himself through the doorway.
> 
> "Kaspbrak, I need to speak to you", a guy Eddie hadn't seen before said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update.  
> Trigger warning, there is mentions of awful homophobia, someone dying because of it, its in the past but it is talked about. Some of the people in the past are killed as well.

Eddie sat on his bed, his back against the wall, typing on his laptop to finish the essay that he had to turn in next week. He hated writing essays so he always did them a little early to give himself plenty of time to work on it.

  
He was able to be in his room for small increments of time, usually just for doing homework because Richie was way too distracting to try to do homework in his room. Belch sat on Bill's bed, quiet as usual, and Eddie almost had that essay done when he heard a knock at the door.  
Belch stood up and opened the door, about to ask whoever it was what they wanted when the person shoved himself through the doorway.

  
"Kaspbrak, I need to speak to you", a guy Eddie hadn't seen before said.

  
Belch grabbed for him but Eddie motioned for him to stand down and let the guy talk. If needed, Belch could kick the guy.

  
"Look you don't know me, your boyfriend does-"

  
"Richie isn't my boyfriend, he hasn't asked me yet", Eddie interrupted.

  
"What the fuck ever. Just listen. I'm his dealer Henry, don't freak out, only weed, anyway, I also deal to someone else. Someone that seems to know you very well", Henry said.

  
Eddie looked puzzled, his voice was familiar, and that's when Eddie remembered hearing Richie talk to someone in the bathroom. That voice was Henry's. Eddie sat his laptop on the bed and gave Henry his full attention.

  
"I'm listening."

  
"That guy Patrick, he has been talking about you and it's honestly kind of sick, like I don't scare easily but he seems like he could kill someone", Henry explained.

  
"What has he said?" Eddie asked.

  
"He talks about raping you... again. Like he's planning it out."

  
Eddie looked at Belch who glared at Henry, ready to kick some ass, he was hired to protect Eddie and protect Eddie he would do.

  
"Why are you telling me this?"

  
"Because I know how he gets in your head. No one deserves the shit he was saying, I'm just warning you, do with it what you will. I'm an asshole but I'm not that much of an asshole that I'd ignore that", Henry said and then left.

"He did what?!"

  
"Rich, calm down. He was warning me, not threatening me", Eddie said trying to soothe the taller boy.

  
Richie's hands were in his hair and he was pacing. He did not like Henry talking to his boyfr- his friend who he loved. He really needed to ask Eddie to be his boyfriend. Every time he thought about it, it wasn't a good time. He wanted to be alone with him and in a nice setting at least.

  
"I'm gonna kill him Eds, they will never find a body!"

  
Eddie's eyes widened and he grabbed Richie to stop him from pacing and looked Richie dead in the eyes. He had to calm down Richie before he did something stupid.

  
"It will be ok. We know he's coming. We can plan and prepare for it."

  
Richie nodded and wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him as close as he could. He knew he needed to stay calm for now, for Eddie. He couldn't fall apart, he needed to protect Eddie. He kissed Eddie softly on the top of his head and took a deep breath. Eddie always smelled good, if only he could take Eddie's scent and make it into a candle or cologne.

Patrick made his way to Eddie's dorm, it had been a week since Henry had warned Eddie. He had no idea Eddie was hypervigilant in his arrival. How could he know his dumbass dealer would rat him out?  
He had been watching the dorms, getting a feel for when Eddie's friends would come and go, for how long, and when Eddie would leave, which wasn't often. Maybe he scared the little gremlin, that sounded really nice to Patrick, having that power over the small boy.

  
He watched as Richie walked out to head to his class, blissfully unaware of what he was going to do to Richie's little boytoy. He wanted to hurt Richie almost as much as he wanted to hurt Eddie. He made his way to Eddie's floor and walked to his door. He knocked and grinned, waiting for his prey to see him.

  
What Patrick hadn't expected was the look on Eddie's face, like he was bored. Patrick forced his way in and still Eddie seemed unimpressed. Patrick was about to ask what the fuck was his problem when he saw why Eddie wasn't freaking out.  
Sitting on Bill's bed was a big beefy guy, Belch, who looked pissed. He motioned for Eddie to leave and once the door shut, Belch walked up to Patrick and smacked him on the head with something hard. Patrick felt intense pain and his vision began to darken.

Patrick woke up in a completely different place tied to a chair and duct tape over his mouth. He felt the dull ache in his head where he was knocked out and looked around to see an entire group of people, those he saw at the club, Vic that traitor, and the guy who knocked him out. The only person who was missing was Eddie.  
He started to mumble behind the tape, Richie of course came to rip the tape off, and once the burn subsided Patrick tried to speak, only to have Richie put his finger on his lips to shush him.

  
"You must be wondering what the fuck is going on, well I'll tell you. You are going to disappear, forever, I'm giving you a chance to leave this place forever, do you accept it?" Richie said.

  
"So where is my favorite piece of ass?" Patrick countered with.

  
Richie growled and turned away, motioned for something and Belch was walking to Patrick. Now Patrick had a high pain tolerance, he figured whatever these weirdos were going to do, he wouldn't really care. What Belch did though was hitting him where it really hurt. He held up a photo and the color drained from Patrick's face.

  
"Did you take that out of my wallet?!" Patrick yelled.

  
"This is the only photo left of him correct?", once Patrick nodded, Belch continued, "He is why you were sent to that awful place? Your parents caught you with him?"

  
Patrick nodded again and Richie walked back up to him, his eyes dark and a smirk on his face.

  
"I had some research done on you. You weren't always this piece of shit person. You were in love with him", Richie pointed at the photo, "this guy, in the photo with you was your boyfriend, Dean. When you two were caught together, your parents sent you to that conversion camp. What happened to Dean was much worse, poor Dean was beaten to death by people in the town you lived in", Richie said.

  
Patrick looked horrified, a tear fell down his cheek as he stared at the photo, a photo he stopped looking at years ago but never took out of his wallet. He had loved Dean, they were seniors in high school, planning to escape their shithole of a town, go to college together, and get married.  
That dream was shattered when his parents caught them making out in his room. Patrick was sent to conversation therapy, Dean was supposed to go to a conversion camp as well, not the same one, but before he could leave, a few of the teenagers who heard about why Patrick was gone, decided to teach Dean a lesson. That lesson ended in Dean being beaten within an inch of his life and left in the woods, tied to a tree. It was days before he was found.

  
Patrick had no knowledge of what happened at first. It was about a week later when Patrick's parents called to get an update and to tell them that Patrick should know, he should know God punished him by killing the person who corrupted him. The news devastated Patrick. He cried for weeks, refused to eat what little was given, stopped speaking, and didn't respond to any physical stimulation. He was locked away in his mind, waiting, waiting for freedom, waiting to seek justice.

  
When the place was shut down due to Eddie, Patrick left the hospital before he could be sent to a foster home. He made his way back home, confronted his parents and once they told him all the details, he killed them both. He stabbed his mother twenty five times and he cut his father's throat. He went into his old room to grab clothes and anything else he needed or wanted. He showered and made his way to Dean's house.

  
Dean's parents were outraged that Patrick would show his face but Patrick pulled out a gun, he took his father's gun and forced his way into Dean's house. Dean's parents backed themselves in a corner and Patrick let them have it. He spoke about their son, the love he had for Dean, how wonderful of a person Dean was, and how shitty of parents they were. He demanded they get down on their knees in front of him facing away from him and he shot them executioner style.

  
Patrick made his way into Dean's room, crying he took some of his clothes, a couple of notebooks, and the only photo they dared to take of themselves together. Dean kept it under his mattress, thankfully it was still there. His beautiful boy Dean, golden hair, bright brown eyes, and a smile that lit up the room, was gone forever. Patrick took anything he knew was special to Dean and stuffed it all in his bag, except for the photo, he tucked that away in his wallet.

  
Next Patrick found each and every person who beat up Dean. It was four teenage boys, he lured them one by one into the very woods they left the love of his life to die. The first, Jason, he had him show Patrick the exact tree they tied him on. Jason was completely unaware of who Patrick was, until it was too late. Once they got to the tree, Patrick stabbed Jason forty three times.

  
Next was Tim, he lured him to the words by telling him Jason was hurt and in danger, of course Tim followed him, and once he found Jason's body, Patrick enlightened Tim who he was. Tim was shot in the face, the chest, and the crotch.

  
The next guy, Allen, would be a bit more difficult because he had a lot of classes with Patrick and knew him. So Patrick decided to take Tim's phone and text Allen to meet him at the tree. An hour later, Patrick said the same words to Allen he had said to Jason and Tim and disemboweled him. He rather enjoyed that kill since it was a lot slower.

  
Last one was their ringleader, Xavier. He lured him out by calling him and asking him to meet Patrick at the tree. Of course Xavier was more than willing to kill the other gay kid, he didn't take into consideration the pure rage Patrick had, how he had grown even taller and stronger. Once Xavier got there, Patrick attacked him. He only used his fists and feet, he wanted to savor this one. He beat Xavier, kicked him, broke many bones and finally he strangled him. He watched the life leave his eyes and felt the last breath leave Xavier's body.

  
Patrick carved his and Dean's name into the tree along with the date of Dean's death. All he had left to do for closure was visit Dean's grave. He stood at Dean's grave crying, talking to him, telling him how sorry he was this happened. He took off his ring he had planned on giving Dean once they left for college, thank god it was still in his drawer, and he buried it in the dirt covering Dean's grave, close to the headstone. He said his goodbye, cleaned and disposed of the gun and knife, and left his hometown forever.

  
Now in the present, Belch stood in front of him, holding the only photo he had of Dean, the only photo they ever took together. In Richie's hand was a lighter, flicking it to hopefully clue in Patrick on their intent. Once Patrick realized, his eyes widened and began to beg and plead.

  
"Please no! Do anything else, fucking kill me! Just don't burn that photo, don't erase his existence! _Please!"_

  
Richie rolled his eyes and laughed.

  
"Eddie! It's time!" Richie singsonged.

  
Eddie walked in, he took the photo from Belch and the lighter from Richie, staring him down the whole time. Patrick cried harder and harder, still begging for the photo to be spared. Everyone except Vic watched the event unfold. Vic couldn't bring himself to watch, he knew the entire story about Dean and he felt sick.

  
"Vic! Come on man! Don't let them do this! You know Dean doesn't deserve to have his face gone forever!"

  
Vic shook his head looking at the floor and Mike wrapped his arms around him to comfort him. Silent tears ran down Vic's face, he knew Patrick deserved this. Patrick was a monster and he wouldn't stop unless they hurt him. This was the only way to hurt him.

  
"Eddie please! I'm sorry! Please please _please!_ I'm sorry, I'll leave and never come back!"

  
Eddie looked at Richie and Richie nodded, Eddie looked back at Patrick and flicked the lighter, the flame appearing under the photo, just a few inches down and the flame would touch the photo. Slowly Eddie moved the photo into the flame and the photo caught fire, it slowly burned until too little was left and Eddie dropped it so he wouldn't get burned.

  
Patrick cried, Belch untied him and Patrick was on his hands and knees, touching the ashes. He looked up at everyone, broken. He couldn't speak anymore, his crying was silent and he ended up laying on the ground, curled into the fetal position, eyes closed, and sobbed.

  
Everyone slowly left until it was just Richie and Eddie. Eddie squatted down and touched Patrick's hair, startled, Patrick jumped and looked up at Eddie, nothing in his eyes but pure despair.

  
"If you ever come near me or anyone I love, ever again, I will end you."

  
Richie patted Eddie's head and the smaller boy stood, took Richie's hand in his and they left, Patrick was alone and he had nothing.

  
It was days later when the news announced a body was found in the lake, a young man fitting Patrick's description, no indication of fowl play, they ruled it as a suicide. Eddie felt a little guilty but at the same time his tormentor was finally gone forever and he felt relief.

  
"He can't hurt you anymore Eddie my love", Richie whispered in Eddie's ear.

  
Eddie nodded and snuggled closer to Richie, Belch was sitting next to Richie and was given his final payment. His services would no longer be needed but he made sure Eddie had his number in case he ever needed anything, no cost of course, he had ended up having a soft spot for the kind boy, and cared about him. He left with a quiet goodbye and Richie shook his hand.

"I love you Richie", Eddie whispered.

"I love you too Eds, would you maybe want to be my boyfriend?" Richie asked.

Eddie moved to where his face was in front of Richie's, searching for any hint of joking in his eyes and when he found none, he smiled and nodded furiously, wrapped his arms around Richie's neck, and pulled him into a kiss, a kiss that not only said yes, but expressed how much of a yes it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was kinda a rough chapter huh? I know I felt tightness in my throat when writing out about what happened to Patrick and Dean. Shit like this happens all the time and its awful. Homophobia is gross and violence against gay people needs to end.  
> Anyway, let me know what y'all think, I know its a heavy chapter but I promise I will give y'all a lot of fluff next chapter to make up for it.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you sure you want to do this Eds?"
> 
> Richie and Eddie had accompanied Mike and Vic on a road trip and Richie had been worried the entire time that Eddie would panic. Eddie was too nice for his own good sometimes and all Richie wanted to do was protect him.
> 
> "Yeah Rich, I'm fine. I want to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first half will be a little sad but don't worry, it gets happier as it goes. There may be some confusing things in this chapter, if y'all have any questions just comment and I'll be happy to answer.

"Are you sure you want to do this Eds?"

  
Richie and Eddie had accompanied Mike and Vic on a road trip and Richie had been worried the entire time that Eddie would panic. Eddie was too nice for his own good sometimes and all Richie wanted to do was protect him.

  
"Yeah Rich, I'm fine. I want to."

  
Vic led the way through the cemetery, hundreds of headstones all around them. They finally saw another person standing at a grave, a boy who could have been no more than fourteen, he was pale with dark shaggy hair, athletic build, and wore jeans and a t-shirt.

  
"Is that him?" Eddie asked.

  
"Yeah, I think so, he looks just like him", Vic choked out.

  
The group walked closer until the boy looked over at them. He smiled shyly and waved, Richie took Eddie's hand and followed Vic and Mike. Vic kept taking deep breaths, he was nervous and he hoped he would say the right things.

  
"Avery? I'm Vic."

  
"Yeah, that's me. Hey", Avery said softly.

  
Mike, Richie, and Eddie introduced themselves to Avery, and once the greetings and pleasantries were out of the way, Vic handed Avery the object he was carrying, an urn.

  
"Here's his ashes", Vic said.

  
Avery took the urn and looked at it sadly. The urn was plain and simple, a sleek polished silver and the name **Patrick Hockstetter** on it. His eyes watered but he refused to let them fall. He wished this wasn't how he got to see his brother again, after years of being gone, idolizing him, knowing what he had done but still loved him anyway.

  
"Thank you. He wasn't always bad, you know. He was so cool, at least to me. He didn't even know that I knew he liked boys. I didn't care, he was still Patrick. It hurt so much when my parents sent him away, he didn't deserve that. Dean tried to take care of me but my parents kept him away until he..."

  
Vic teared up and Mike wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders to comfort him. He knew this would be hard for Vic but he would be there to help in any way he could. Richie pulled Eddie in close, his arm around his back.

  
"Did he tell you I was there when he came back home? He gave me ten dollars and told me to go to the candy store or get some ice cream. I came back to him sitting outside, waiting for me. He told me not to go inside and go to our cousin's house. I didn't know that would be the last time I saw him. Had no idea what he had done until the next day."

  
Avery sat the urn down in front of Dean's headstone, a small sad smile appeared on his lips and he sat down, facing the headstone. Vic sat down next to him and put his arm around his shoulders.

  
"I met him at the conversion camp, he was my friend and he helped me heal from the trauma, I just wish I had known how bad the trauma was for him so I could help him heal", Vic said quietly.

  
"He was doomed the moment Dean was killed, no one could save him. His soul died along with Dean. They were so in love and made each other so happy. I wish they could have made it, together and happy."

Richie, Eddie, and Mike sat down after a while, giving Vic and Avery a little space but still close enough to be comforting. Avery told sweet stories about Patrick, things that didn't seem like the person they all knew, they got to learn who the real Patrick was, before his heart was corrupted by hate.

  
Patrick had once snuck Avery to the next town over to go to their carnival, Patrick was grounded but he took Avery anyway. That was Avery's favorite memory of his brother.He also recalled the time when he had the flu and Patrick stayed with him in his room for a week, playing with him, reading to him, taking care of him, and even sleeping in his bed so he wouldn't be alone.  
He remembered trying so hard to tag along with Patrick and his friends, he would steal Patrick's t-shirts to try to look like him, sometimes Patrick would style his hair and he would feel like a rockstar.

Avery would watch horror movies with Patrick even though they terrified him and he would be scared for the rest of the night and Patrick would have to save him from the monsters he swore was in his closet, he would always defeat them.  
Eddie found himself crying a few times, Richie holding him every time. Vic reached for Mike's hand and Mike held him tight, hoping Vic could feel the love and comfort.

  
"Thank you for bringing him here, my aunt wouldn't allow me to take a bus to get him and he deserved to have his final resting place beside Dean, maybe they will find each other in the afterlife", Avery said wistfully.

A few hours had gone by before the group knew they needed to head back, it would be at least four hours to get back home and they wanted to be home before dark. So they all stood up and started walking out of the cemetery.  
Once at Mike's truck, they began to say their goodbyes, Avery hugged all of them, thanking them all over and over again. Eddie perked up and remembered to grab something out of the truck and handed it to Avery.

  
"Here, I think he would have wanted you to have it", Eddie said.

  
Avery took Patrick's leather jacket from Eddie and held it up to look at it. He smiled and hugged the jacket.

  
"I remember this jacket. It still smells like him", Avery whispered, trying not to cry.

Mike started up the truck and began to drive away from the small town that had destroyed the lives of many. Eddie looked back and saw Avery waving, what he didn't expect was to see two figures behind Avery, translucent and holding hands. Eddie gasped as he realized who they were.

"Richie look!" Eddie said as he turned to Richie and then pointed out the back window.

  
Eddie turned back but the figures were gone, he rubbed his eyes but they were gone, it was only Avery standing there. A small smile escaped Eddie and he felt happy.

  
"What? I don't see anything."

  
"Nevermind, thought I saw something".

"How about we do something fun?" Mike suggested once they were halfway home.

  
Vic suggested maybe finding a tourist attraction, Richie suggested going to a zoo or an aquarium.

  
"What if we just went and got ice cream?" Eddie asked.

  
Everyone stopped talking and Richie looked at Eddie and smiled. Eddie was not one to suggested things dealing with food, so if his boy wanted ice cream, they sure as fuck were getting ice cream.  
They found the nearest place, it was actually a place that had rolled ice cream, and they all got out and went inside. It was chilly inside but none of them noticed as they watched the ice cream be mixed and flattened, then cut and rolled. Over the menu was written "Count your blessings, not your calories", part of the wall was painted chalkboard so their menu was written down on the wall itself.

  
"This was the best idea Eddie my love" Richie cooed into Eddie's ear.

  
They looked at the menu to see what flavor they wanted, there were so many choices, and Vic instantly knew what he wanted.

  
"I am totally getting red velvet cake."

  
"I want to try the cookies and cream", Mike said.

  
"They have horchata flavored ice cream! Fuck yeah!", Richie said excitedly.

  
"I'm gonna go for the triple chocolate", Eddie said after a while of staring at the menu.

  
They ordered, Richie paid for everyone, and watched as each bowl was made, Eddie recorded a video of his being made to show Bill and Georgie, once the rolls of ice cream were in their bowl, toppings were added on and they all had to take photos of the beautiful creations.

  
Vic's had red velvet cake crumbled sprinkled on with a dollop of cream cheese frosting in the middle. Mike's had crushed Oreo cookies sprinkled on top. Richie's had a caramel drizzle and cinnamon sprinkled over it. Eddie's had chocolate syrup drizzle, chocolate sprinkles, and chocolate flakes sprinkled on.  
Everyone dug in and enjoyed the frozen treat. It was like a double date and everyone was having fun, Richie took several photos, he swore he had to try to make Stan jealous. Everyone had eaten all of their ice cream, even Eddie, which surprised Richie but made him so incredibly proud.

  
They all got back in Mike's truck and sighed in content, Richie put his arm around Eddie and they both were asleep within five minutes. Vic fought off sleep so he could stay awake with Mike, talk to him and enjoy his company. It had been a nice day, a little sad at first but ended on a good note.

  
"Thank you, for coming with me, and even driving me", Vic said after a while of just listening to the soft music playing.

  
"Of course babe, it's what I'm here for."

  
"I mean it Mike, I haven't had a boyfriend so... caring before, like actually caring even if it doesn't affect you. It means a lot."

The rest of the ride home was quiet, mostly because Richie was asleep the entire time, and Mike and Vic mostly sat in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company. Eddie was sound asleep in Richie's arms. The day for them all was definitely an unusual day, but they all felt good, they all needed this day, Vic and Eddie especially. Vic was able to get closure and Eddie was able to do something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter makes up for the angst last chapter. What did y'all think on the how I ended the part of the story dealing with Patrick? I wanted to give it closure, and I'm always super respectful of the dead and wanted to have their body/ashes together.
> 
> Yes, Eddie did see Patrick and Dean's ghost standing by Avery. Let me make it clear that the Patrick standing with Dean is who Patrick was, the real Patrick before hatred took over and broke him. I didn't really have a way to explain that Patrick's ghost is not the age he physically died, he's the age his soul died, the true Patrick died, which was the same age as Dean so he looked younger which was also a surprise to Eddie.
> 
> The ice cream shop is actually based on one around here and I love their rolled ice cream. I got the horchata (because this hispanic ass loves horchata) flavor and LOVED it. Fun fact, over the menu at the real shop I go to it says, Count your blessings, not your calories". When I ate there and saw that, and that was a day I was freaking out about my calorie intake, I tried to find the lowest calorie thing but they didn't post the calorie count on their ice cream. Seeing that actually made me feel better about eating ice cream that I knew was going to be high in calories, I guess it just made me feel like I was being told by the universe that it was ok to eat something sweet and good even though it was bad for me. So I had Eddie see it and give him the same feeling, that he was being told it was ok to eat some awesome ice cream.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak were now a couple, they used the word boyfriend, they were constantly staying the night with each other, which worked out in everyone’s favor since Bill and Stan were dating, but Richie and Eddie still hadn’t done the deed. Richie was completely fine with going at Eddie’s pace, but it was starting to get harder as their makeout sessions began getting more and more heated.
> 
> The other night Richie had come in his pants like a teenager. Eddie didn’t have any issue with it, he found it pretty hot, but Richie was extremely embarrassed. He was afraid to bring up sex with Eddie, he didn’t want to scare him away or make him feel pressured, he just wanted to know Eddie’s feelings on it, talk about it and see where he was at.
> 
> That’s how Richie and Eddie had their first fight, they were making out in Richie’s bed, Stan and Bill were out on a date, and Richie was kissing and touching almost every inch of Eddie’s body. He wanted Eddie to feel how much Richie loved his body, he worshiped that ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo I'm so sorry this took so long! This fic is starting to wind down to the end, and I've been putting off writing it because I don't want it to end soon but it must, also I have been working on a fic for a group I'm in and so this past month was all about working on that. Anyway! Hope y'all enjoy as the last few chapters start to heat up a lot more.

Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak were now a couple, they used the word boyfriend, they were constantly staying the night with each other, which worked out in everyone’s favor since Bill and Stan were dating, but Richie and Eddie still hadn’t done the deed. Richie was completely fine with going at Eddie’s pace, but it was starting to get harder as their makeout sessions began getting more and more heated.

The other night Richie had come in his pants like a teenager. Eddie didn’t have any issue with it, he found it pretty hot, but Richie was extremely embarrassed. He was afraid to bring up sex with Eddie, he didn’t want to scare him away or make him feel pressured, he just wanted to know Eddie’s feelings on it, talk about it and see where he was at.

That’s how Richie and Eddie had their first fight, they were making out in Richie’s bed, Stan and Bill were out on a date, and Richie was kissing and touching almost every inch of Eddie’s body. He wanted Eddie to feel how much Richie loved his body, he worshiped that ass.

“Rich, I uh, think we should slow down”, Eddie said.

Richie sat up and pulled Eddie into his lap and held him, arms wrapped around Eddie’s waist, his chest pressed up against Eddie’s back, it was comfortable.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that, I was wondering if you ever gave any thought to having sex?”

Richie felt Eddie tense up, he had practiced several different ways to bring it up and he felt this was the nicest way.

“Do we have to talk about this now?”

“Well, it would be nice to know if we are anywhere near the same page, I’ve been staying away from the conversation but I think it's one we need to have. I would love to be able to have sex with my boyfriend, if that can never be an option I need to know. If I have to wait a few years, I need to know. I just want to know where you’re at in all this”, Richie explained.

Eddie felt himself getting annoyed, did they really have to do this? Couldn’t Richie just be happy with what they were doing? Was Richie only in this for sex? Could he just be trying to get into Eddie’s pants and once he does he’s gone? What if he gets triggered? What if he can never have sex?

So many what ifs swirling around in his head and it made him feel more and more frustrated. He knew it had been a beat too long of him not replying but Richie was still waiting patiently. Eddie had turned around to look at Richie, he needed to see facial expressions.

“I don’t know Richie, What if I can’t have sex? You gonna leave me? What if I don’t want to? Will that cause problems? Is that all you want from me?”

The moment Richie’s face expressed how hurt he was, Eddie knew he fucked up. Richie looked like a kicked puppy and Eddie knew what he said was a dick move. Why was he being so mean to Richie? He knew Richie wasn’t just after sex, Richie had never even brought up sex before now, he wasn’t pressuring him or nagging, he only asked to talk about it and Eddie blew up.

“Rich, I didn’t mean-”

“After everything we have been through you think I’m only trying to fuck you? Fuck this, just leave, I want to be alone”, Richie said as he slid out from underneath Eddie and laid down with his back turned to Eddie on his bed.

“Richie-”

“Go! Please, just go”, Richie choked out.

Eddie could hear that Richie was trying to hold back tears. He wanted to lay down and hold Richie and apologize, but he also wanted to respect what Richie asked so he chose to leave. He heard Richie sniffle as he closed the door and he felt like shit.

Eddie walked into his room to see Stan straddling Bill, making out passionately on Bill’s bed. Eddie was stunned at first, he had never seen Stan this way, and Bill was like his brother and he held back from saying ‘eww’. Thankfully they noticed someone walking in and pulled away quickly from each other, both fixing their clothes and hair as they sat on the bed with their feet on the floor.

“Eddie! I w-wasn’t expecting you back so soon”, Bill said flustered.

“Sorry, I can leave”, Eddie said about to walk out.

“No! It’s alright. Are you ok?”

Eddie started to cry and sat on the floor. Stan and Bill got on the floor and sat in front of him, waiting for Eddie to be ready to talk. He hoped they could help him fix this, he didn’t want to lose Richie, he loved him.

“Richie brought up sex, for the first time and I blew up on him and accused him of just trying to get in my pants and it hurt him.”

Stan looked upset and Bill looked apologetic. Bill understood Eddie’s reaction but it made sense that no one else would. He put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder to comfort him. Eddie tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace.

“I know I fucked up but how can I apologize to him? He told me to leave and I want to respect that but I want to make it up to him.”

“Well Eddie, you’re going to have to talk with him, he has been through a lot in past relationships, you hit a nerve and yeah, he is going to push you away but that isn’t what he wants, he wants you to stay”, Stan explained.

Eddie looked over at Bill to see what he thought but Bill just shrugged. He knew that Stan knew Richie well enough to give sound advice. Eddie deflated and his shoulders sunk down, he really hated ruining everything, he wanted to show Richie he wasn't like his past partners.

Eddie stood up and walked out, he would apologize, he would tell Richie how much he meant to him, how much he loved him. As he got to the door he froze, hand up to knock but then decided to use the key Richie gave him, might as well not make Richie get up. He walked in and Richie was still in the same spot he left him in.

“Stan?” Richie croaked.

“No, it's me”, Eddie said softly.

Richie turned around and looked unimpressed with Eddie being back, and so soon after he asked Eddie to leave. He didn’t say anything, waiting for Eddie to do whatever he came to do.

“I’m sorry”, Eddie whispered.

Walking over to the bed and laying down beside Richie and pulling him into a hug, Eddie held Richie as tight as he could, he wanted Richie to feel his love, he wanted Richie to feel how sorry he was.

“I blew up on you and that wasn’t fair. You didn’t do anything wrong, in fact you were right to try to talk to me about something that big that affects both of us. I’ve been so scared of sex, I’m afraid it will feel the same as when I was assaulted. I’m afraid I won’t be able to enjoy it because it triggers me. I don’t want to cause you problems and if we can never have sex then would you even still want to be with me? Either answer is valid, some need sex and some don’t.”

Richie looked at Eddie, unsure of how to respond, he would do anything to be with Eddie, even if that meant a sexless relationship, they still made out and stuff, and he could clearly get off from that.

“I love you Eddie, nothing could ever make me leave you, I promise I didn’t mean to make you feel pressured, I just wanted to know where your head was at, I need to be told stuff, I don’t just get things, I need them spelled out for me”, Richie spoke finally after a few minutes of silence.

Eddie could handle that, he could be blunt and tell Richie what he needed and wanted. Eddie felt stupid for feeling like Richie should just know how he’s feeling, that’s not fair to Richie. Arms snake around Eddie’s torso and he's pulled closer to Richie’s body. It sent shivers down Eddie’s spine, the good kind that made Eddie’s breath hitch.

Richie smirked, he could feel how Eddie was reacting to his touches, Richie slowly ran his fingers down Eddie’s back, soft, barely there, and when a whine escaped Eddie’s lips, Richie pressed his lips on Eddie’s and began to lick at Eddie’s lower lip. Eddie gave him access to his mouth and Richie’s tongue explored like it was the first time it had ever been there.

Eddie felt like he was panting like a dog, warmth in his lower abdomen made him feel the need to grind against Richie’s thigh, he needed some friction, the erection surprised him but what surprised him even more was the groan that came from Richie. That groan sounded like Eddie humping Richie’s thigh was the hottest thing in the world to him and he pressed just a little harder against Eddie’s dick.

Eddie’s kisses were getting sloppy but Richie didn’t mind, he felt Eddie speed up a little and he wondered if Eddie was getting close to coming. Richie left Eddie’s lips to kiss up his jaw and then at the shell of his ear.

“Eddie baby, are you close?” Richie whispered, hot breath tickling Eddie’s ear.

Eddie nodded and moaned, his grip on Richie’s shirt tight and his hips desperately chasing the sweet release. The whispers in Eddie’s ear were helping, he felt jolts of pleasure each time Richie whispered in his ear.

“Good boy, now come for me”, Richie whispered.

That sent Eddie over the edge, he came hard, he bit Richie’s shoulder trying to stay quiet, and ended up blacking out for a minute. Eddie awoke to Richie playing with his hair and leaving soft sweet kisses on his cheeks.

“Whoa, I think I passed out.”

“You did, it was cute, intense huh?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, oh I need to-” Eddie’s hand was reaching for Richie’s belt when Richie cut him off and grabbed his wrist.

“No no, Eddie my love, I uh, really enjoyed seeing you come”, Richie said hoping Eddie would get what he was saying.

Eddie smiled knowingly and decided to use his hand to cup Richie’s cheek. Richie’s eyes sparkled with happiness and love, those eyes were the eyes Eddie wanted to look into for the rest of his life. He wanted to voice that but he worried it might be too much for now.

“Lets get cleaned up and then get some food, sound good?” Richie asked.

Eddie nodded and smiled brightly, oh yes this was the boy he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, everything about him was beautiful, his smile, his eyes, and everywhere Eddie looked at Richie, he found beauty. Eddie was in love and he was determined to heal and get to where they could have sex. Because deep down, Eddie wanted to have sex with Richie, he wanted to feel Richie inside him and be connected in that special way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I hope everyone knows that Eddie wants to heal, he wants to be able to have a sexual relationship with his boyfriend. This isn't a fic where he magically gets cured or Richie fixes him, mental illnesses don't just go away because you want them to or because you have an amazing partner. No, Eddie is going to do a lot of work on himself and work towards a goal, along with help from his therapist so he can hopefully get to a much better place about sex.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had taken a few weeks, a lot of work and perseverance, and encouragement from Richie for Eddie to feel like he was making any progress. They fooled around a lot, never getting completely naked, and had yet to go farther than making out and grinding against each other until they both had come. Eddie wanted to attempt to give Richie a handjob but every time he tried to bring it up, he chickened out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow its been a while since I updated, life man, life really gets in the way of writing. Anyway, this chapter gets a little spicy, the first part is sexy fun. No trigger warnings for this chapter that I can think of. Enjoy!

It had taken a few weeks, a lot of work and perseverance, and encouragement from Richie for Eddie to feel like he was making any progress. They fooled around a lot, never getting completely naked, and had yet to go farther than making out and grinding against each other until they both had come. Eddie wanted to attempt to give Richie a handjob but every time he tried to bring it up, he chickened out.

That is until one morning they had woken up in Eddie’s bed, spooning, and Eddie felt Richie’s morning wood on his ass. He wasn’t sure why feeling Richie’s boner got him flustered but he slowly turned over to face Richie, the sweetest smile on his face, Richie looked groggy but he was awake.

Eddie slowly moved his hand down to the waistband of Richie’s boxers and when he dipped his hand down past them, his hand touching Richie’s dick, Richie gasped and then moaned as his eyes closed. Eddie wasn’t sure exactly how to go about giving a handjob but he figured he was off to a good start so far. He gripped Richie’s dick a little more firm and started to pump up and down.

“Fuuuuuuck Eds, that feels amazing,” Richie practically slurred out.

Eddie’s cheeks grew hot,  _ he  _ was making Richie writhe in pleasure. He felt himself growing hard and it made him feel excited. Richie thrust himself into Eddie’s hand, his hands going to Eddie’s hair and tugging gently. His lips going to Eddie’s ear and whispering words of praise.

“Eddie,  _ fuck  _ your hand is like velvet. I’m not gonna last long, holy fuck.  _ Eddie,  _ you are making me go crazy!”

Eddie smiled as he felt Richie come undone by his touch, he felt proud that he was making his boyfriend feel good, he felt pleasure in making Richie feel this amazing. He wanted this moment to last forever but true to Richie’s word, he did not last long. Eddie felt Richie’s hot cum in his hand and he winced. He found Richie coming in his hand very hot, but also a little gross, he wasn’t a fan of the texture of semen.

Richie was panting and his heart was pounding, he slowly came down from his high and opened his eyes, seeing Eddie’s nose wrinkled up as he looked at his hand covered in cum, Richie’s cum. Richie chuckled and grabbed a towel to hand over to Eddie.

“Was it, was it ok?” Eddie asked, feeling self conscious.

“Eddie, baby, my soul left my body, that was the best handjob I have ever had, can I return the favor?”

Eddie nodded slowly, a little nervous, but he wanted to give it a try. It obviously felt good, Richie enjoyed it, and Richie was way more experienced than himself, he could probably do an even better job.

Richie’s hand slowly went to the waistband of Eddie’s sleep shorts, looked at Eddie, waiting for confirmation, Eddie nodded again, then Richie dipped his hand under the sleep shorts and underwear. Eddie gasped as he felt Richie’s warm hand slowly wrap around his dick.

“ _ Oh, OH,”  _ Eddie whined.

Richie smirked, he pumped his hand, and used his thumb to swipe over the slit. Eddie’s back arched and he moaned obscenely loud. He wasn’t expecting it to feel  _ that  _ good. Richie got to a good rhythm and softly kissed Eddie, peppering his cheeks with kisses, his jaw, and then his neck.

“ _ Richie,”  _ Eddie moaned.

“Come on baby, let go, come for me.”

Eddie whimpered and put his forehead on Richie’s chest, he felt the pleasure building, he felt his stomach tightening, and he felt that nice heat boiling in his abdomen. His breathing grew faster and he couldn’t help the loud moans coming out of his small body.

R-Richie, I’m close.”

“You’re doing so good Eddie, so, so good baby.”

Eddie came with a whine and Richie pumped him through his orgasm, he stopped when Eddie squirmed from feeling overstimulated, and retrieved his hand back to stare Eddie down and lick the cum off his hand.

“Richie! What are you doing?!”

“I was curious to how you tasted, hot isn’t it?”

Eddie felt his spent dick twitch at that and felt a little embarrassed at the fact that he did indeed find it hot, but also gross. He shook his head but he knew his blush gave him away. Richie’s laughter brought a smile to Eddie’s face so he had no choice but to give Richie a chaste kiss.

  
  
  


“I did it, I actually gave Richie a handjob!” Eddie exclaimed.

Jerome smiled and nodded, he knew how hard Eddie had been working to be more intimate with Richie. He was proud of the progress, he met Richie a few weeks ago, he had liked the loudmouthed boy, he saw how Richie looked at Eddie and he knew that Richie would be good for his patient.

Bill still brought Eddie to his therapy appointments but that day Eddie really wanted to introduce his boyfriend to his therapist. They seemed to get along, even joked around a bit, but when Jerome took Richie back to speak to him alone, Eddie got worried.

  
  


Once Eddie was able to go back and Richie went back to the waiting room, Eddie looked at Jerome curiously, he hoped nothing bad was said, his anxiety worrying him that maybe they shit talked Eddie, but he shook his head at that, he knew that was silly.

What Jerome had told Eddie made Eddie cry. He said Richie spoke so highly of Eddie, he expressed so much love for his boyfriend, that Jerome said he teared up a little. That made Eddie’s heart soar, he felt so loved, he felt so happy, and he wished it wasn’t too soon to bring up marriage.

“I’m glad you are able to be more intimate with Richie. How did you feel afterwards? Any guilt? Scared thoughts? Did Patrick come up at all?”

“Honestly, I felt amazing, I had no bad feelings, no thoughts of Patrick, and it was exhilarating!” Eddie stated excitedly.

Eddie was buzzing with energy, he was happy and he felt like he was reclaiming power over his sexuality and his body. He knew he had a long road ahead still, next he wanted to work towards blowjobs, and then fingering, and if all that went well, he hoped he could work on fully having sex.

“Good, good. How have the new meds been? You seem to be responding well to them.”

“Yeah, they made me a little sleepy at first but that went away and I think they are helping,” Eddie explained.

  
  
  


Watching a movie with the entire group was a little bit of work, but in the end, it was enjoyable. Vic had invited them all to his apartment for a movie night. Everyone agreed immediately, Ben and Bev brought snacks, Bill and Stan brought drinks, and Richie supplied weed. Mike had made dinner for everyone, a chicken and rice dish that had everyone wanting seconds. Eddie brought cookies, they needed dessert after all.

Choosing the movie was where it got difficult. Everyone chose something different, Richie wanted a horror movie, Eddie wanted a comedy, Stan wanted some documentary, Bill wanted an action film, and Ben and Bev wanted a romance, Mike offered a compromise of a romcom and Vic agreed but the rest of the group groaned.

“What about a classic? Vic has  _ Ghostbusters.  _ Everyone loves that movie,” Mike suggested.

Everyone cheered and agreed, Richie claimed that  _ Ghostbusters  _ was one of the best movies in the world, and nearly choked on his drink when Eddie said he hadn’t seen it before. That was what finalized the choice.

The couples cuddled up to their partners, Richie and Eddie were in a large chair wrapped in a blanket. Ben and Bev sat on the floor in front of the couch with a bunch of pillows around them, Vic and Mike cuddled on one side of the couch while Bill and Stan cuddled on the other side of the couch.

  
  


The night ended with everyone falling asleep after they had put on the sequel,  _ Ghostbusters 2,  _ everyone was comfortable and happy, Eddie was on the brink of sleep when he felt Richie tighten his arms around Eddie to hug him.

“I love you, Eddie,” Richie whispered.

Eddie smiled, he was happy, he was loved, and he had a group of the best friends ever, what more could he ask for? He snuggled more to Richie, he knew sleep was about to take him.

“I love you too, Richie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really want input on this, should this be the last chapter? Should I continue writing about Eddie and Richie working their way up to having sex so y'all can get a chapter of them having sex, or should I just have a epilogue that ties it all up into a bow? Please tell me what you think I should do. This being the first fic I started for Reddie, I'm hesitant to end it, I know its time or close to it, and I want it to have a great ending.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I got you baby, we are just going to talk to her, nothing is set in stone, if you don’t feel comfortable we will leave and try somewhere else, but Eddie my love, you’re scaring me with how small you have gotten, I can see your ribs.”
> 
> Eddie nodded, he couldn’t look at Richie, not with the sad eyes he knew Richie had. He loved that Richie cared, he loved that he was that important to him but he felt bad, he hated worrying him, he hated making Richie feel scared so that’s why he agreed to go for a consultation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter BUT there will be an epilogue that I have already started writing. So technically a chapter 39 but its an epilogue, I hope that makes sense. If not I'm sorry.
> 
> Trigger Warning  
> This chapter is heavy with talking of Eddie's eating disorder. Eddie and Richie both talk to a doctor and they talk about how Eddie has been getting worse with the eating disorder. Its a very positive chapter but I just wanting to warn y'all in case its triggering to some. Other than that its a perfectly sweet chapter.

“Richie, I’m not so sure about this,” Eddie whispered.

Jerome had recommended Eddie speak to a specialist for eating disorders. Jerome was concerned when Eddie seemed to be losing weight rather than gaining. It’s true Eddie still didn’t really eat but he didn’t think it was that bad until he ended up passing out while out for a walk with Richie.

Eddie had even started to pretend he was eating and throwing out food he was given. Richie was the first to notice, his arms around Eddie a lot and he could feel Eddie getting even smaller. It scared him but he tried to bring it up with Eddie. Of course Eddie told him that he was fine, he ate some, and not to worry.

When Eddie passed out, Richie knew he was right to be concerned. He drove himself to Jerome’s office, and thankfully he caught him in between sessions and Jerome was more than happy to help Richie. He couldn’t divulge any information but he could give Richie advice and possible treatment plans.

Eddie was angry when Richie told him what he had done, he felt betrayed. He felt scared that he would be forced into an in-patient program, he hated those. Constantly being weighed made him anxious, being watched and encouraged to eat was annoying, and always having to have someone go with him to the restroom to make sure he didn’t purge, he liked his privacy and there was no privacy at those programs.

“I got you baby, we are just going to talk to her, nothing is set in stone, if you don’t feel comfortable we will leave and try somewhere else, but Eddie my love, you’re scaring me with how small you have gotten, I can see your ribs.”

Eddie nodded, he couldn’t look at Richie, not with the sad eyes he knew Richie had. He loved that Richie cared, he loved that he was that important to him but he felt bad, he hated worrying him, he hated making Richie feel scared so that’s why he agreed to go for a consultation.

“Edward Denbrough,” the receptionist called.

Richie chuckled, Eddie was finally using his new last name. He refused for the longest time, not feeling like he deserved it but now, he knew he did. Eddie stood up and Richie followed.

  
  


They walked into a nice pristine office, two bookshelves completely filled with books, a large L shaped desk, a futon, and a coffee table. The walls were a subtle beige color, the artwork however, were bright colors and scattered along the walls. An air freshener made the room smell subtly like vanilla and it honestly felt welcoming.

A woman sitting at the desk with a kind smile welcomed them in. Her brown eyes were warm and inviting, she seemed to actually care. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back into a bun, she wore librarian glasses, and even her clothes looked comfortable yet still professional. The large grey sweater she wore is what really stood out to Eddie.

“Hello Edward, I’m Dr. Ripsom, and who is this?” the woman introduced herself.

“You can call me Eddie, and this is Richie, my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you both. Y’all can take a seat and we can discuss what brings you here today,” Dr. Ripsom instructed.

Eddie held tight to Richie’s hand as they sat down, he felt sick, his anxiety was quite high, but Richie squeezed his hand in reassurance. He would help Eddie through it all, he just hoped Eddie would accept the help.

“Alright then. Now I see that your therapist referred you here because you suffer from an eating disorder, correct?”

Eddie nodded, too nervous to speak. Dr. Ripsom seemed fine with that and she wrote down some things, Eddie wished he could see what she was writing. In the quiet, the sound of her pen gliding across the paper was almost soothing. So far the doctor was kind, her voice was soft and comforting, and Eddie liked her, even though he really didn’t want to.

“Now, are we looking for an in-patient program, which is preferred, or out-patient?” Dr. Ripsom asked.

Eddie began to panic, would Richie really make him do in-patient? He couldn’t do that again, he started to tear up and Richie let go of Eddie’s hand to put his arm around Eddie’s back.

“I think Eddie would prefer an out-patient program, he has done in-patient before and it wasn’t a good fit for him,” Richie spoke when he saw Eddie was doing his all to hold back tears.

“Got it. Now I’d like to hear what you have been noticing in Eddie’s behavior and Eddie, I would like you to tell me how you feel, what you have been doing and thinking.”

Eddie nodded and looked at Richie to go first, he was still trying to calm down, he needed a few minutes to breathe and Richie was happy to go first and let Eddie collect himself.

“Well, he isn’t eating. Like I haven’t actually seen him eat anything in weeks, and I’m around him most of the day and sometimes nights. I keep giving him food and he says he will eat it later but I found out he has been throwing out all the food I give him. I confronted him about it and he lied at first saying he was eating until I told him I knew he wasn’t. I want to help him, I encourage him to eat but it doesn’t work anymore. He is getting so tiny, I can see his ribs and when I hold him, it's almost like nothing is there.”

Eddie listened as Richie spoke, he knew Richie was worried, he knew it hurt him when Eddie had lied about eating. He hated himself for lying, but Richie wasn’t angry, he was concerned. Richie had said a lot of this to Eddie before, but hearing it being told to the doctor just felt different.

“I see. Would you agree that’s correct, Eddie?”

Eddie nodded, ashamed of himself. How could Richie still want to be with someone so fucked up? How was Richie not running away, how was this not too much work for him? Dr. Ripsom wrote down all that Richie had said and once done, she turned her gaze to Eddie. He fidgeted under her gaze, knowing he was supposed to speak now.

“I uh, I haven’t been eating, I still drink stuff that has calories and sugar in it, it helps me feel more alert. I don’t know why I can’t eat at all again. I have been trying, honest, but when I do, I feel so sick I throw up. I don’t feel hungry anymore, I just feel tired.”

“So you’re at the point I would highly recommend in-patient, but I can’t force you. You’re an adult. If you will not do in-patient then we will have to do a strict out-patient program. Is that something you feel you can handle?”

Eddie looked at Richie, the soft smile on his boyfriend’s face helped him feel brave enough to nod. When Richie’s smile grew wider after Eddie nodded, it made him smile too. Richie looked proud of him.

“What is your current weight?” Dr. Ripsom asked.

“Um, its uh… ninety pounds.”

After more notes were written, Dr. Ripsom pulled out some papers, pamphlets of different programs and treatments. They all three looked through them and discussed them, Dr. Ripsom was honest and very detailed, she was here to help Eddie pick out the perfect treatment for him.

A couple of hours had gone by before they finally settled on a treatment plan Eddie felt he could try and was strict enough that Dr. Ripsom was satisfied with it. Richie was quiet unless he had any questions but he mostly let the other two talk.

“So here are the forms you need to fill out, consent forms, health insurance paperwork, medical history, and here I like my patients to write down what they hope to accomplish.”

Eddie froze as he heard medical forms. How detailed was he supposed to be? Every time he had done something like this, Bill’s mom filled everything out. Does Dr. Ripsom know about his past trauma? Would he have to go in detail? Did Jerome give her his file? Richie noticed Eddie’s body going tense and he looked at the smaller boy. He rubbed Eddie’s back, hoping it helped.

“How much do you uh, know about me?” Eddie asked.

“Your therapist shared with me anything that I might need to know to help treat you. You signed a consent form from him stating you gave permission for him to do so if medically necessary. He explained how your eating disorder got started, and I’m sorry that you had to experience that.”

Eddie nodded, he remembered signing the consent form, and she knew of the conversion therapy camp so maybe she could help him. If she understood the start, maybe she could help him find the end.

“Thank you, Dr. Ripsom. I’ll bring these back when I’m done filling them out, might be a day or two.”

“Not a problem Eddie, and you can take this home, it explains your treatment program, I’m glad you have wonderful support from your partner, I hope your friends will be the same way.” Dr. Ripsom said with a smile.

“Oh don’t worry, they are, they all love Eddie, almost as much as I do!”

Eddie lightly swatted at Richie, not even touching him, but his smile gave away that he was not annoyed in the least. Richie laughed his beautiful laugh and wrapped his arms around Eddie in a warm hug.

A few minutes later and they said their goodbyes. The ride home was silent, Eddie was reading over his treatment plan again, and Richie was in his head. Once they got back, they went to Richie’s dorm room, found that Stan wasn’t there, and they laid in Richie’s bed, just holding each other, listening to each other breathe, and feeling peaceful.

“I want you to know how fucking proud of you I am. You were amazing Eds, seriously I was in awe of how you handled it.”

“Thank you for coming with me, and thank you for helping. You gave me the courage to do it.” Eddie said sweetly.

“Oh Eddie my love, you’re braver than you think.”

Richie kissed Eddie’s forehead softly, Eddie’s eyes fluttered closed, the small gesture held so much meaning, Eddie truly did feel loved, he felt safe, and he felt hopeful. With Richie by his side he could do anything, they will be an unstoppable force.

“I wanted to ask, the mandatory group therapy has monthly sessions where family come to listen, and even talk. I don’t want to assume you would be fine with going to that so-” Eddie was cut off.

“Anything for you Eddie baby. I will go to every single family one. You have me in your corner, I will always be cheering you on and carrying you when you need it. Eddie my love, I will happily do anything that will make you happy.”

Eddie teared up and as he looked into Richie’s eyes, he could see Richie’s pure heart and soul, he could see the love, he could see Richie. He brought his lips to Richie’s and kissed slowly, just small short kisses at first, then they drew into longer but languid kisses. Eddie swiped his tongue over Richie’s bottom lip and Richie smiled before parting his lips.

Eddie wanted Richie to feel just as loved, his hand going into Richie’s soft hair, his other hand on his back, holding him tight. Richie’s hand was on the back of Eddie’s neck, and the other on his hip. He wrapped his long leg around Eddie’s legs and pulled him just a little bit closer.

“I… love… you… Richie,” Eddie said in between kisses.

“I love you too, forever and always, you are the love of my life,” Richie whispered before diving back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow y'all, just, wow. I can't believe we are here, the final chapter before the epilogue. How do y'all feel? What did you think of it? I really wanted to tie up the loose end of Eddie's ED. He hadn't shown much progress in it and I wanted to make sure that was wrapped up and hopeful.
> 
> I have started on the epilogue already, I really think you'll love it. Its going to be fluffy goodness and I'll give you a little hint, its going to be y'all's early Christmas present. So do with that what you will.
> 
> Let me know what y'all thought of this chapter. Feedback is super important to me when I'm ending my fics. I want to make sure I end it perfectly for this story. It has been one wild ride, I want to thank every single one of y'all for joining me in my journey of my very first Reddie fic. Y'all gave me motivation to keep going, y'all helped me feel like this fic was good. Thank you to every single person who has read this.


	39. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie stood in Richie’s bathroom, fixing his hair and making sure his outfit looked right. He was nervous, holidays centering around food still made him uneasy, but Richie was always there to help him through it.
> 
> Eddie wore a red and black oversized black sweater and black skinny jeans, his new outfit he bought to wear on Christmas Day. Richie had almost started drooling when Eddie had tried on the sweater, he was still getting used to not being able to see his ribs, but getting tattoos over his ribs helped to not focus on it.
> 
> Richie came up behind Eddie and wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and gave a loving squeeze. Smiling into the mirror as Eddie made eye contact with him, he then pressed a gentle kiss on Eddie’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it y'all. The ending to my first Reddie fic. I thank you all for going on this incredible journey with me. I had a hard time finishing it, I love this AU so much. This truly was a wild ride.  
> Trigger Warning  
> mentions of past self harm  
> mentions of past eating disorder  
> sex

**Three Years Later**

  
  


Christmas time at the Tozier’s was probably Eddie’s favorite family gathering. Spiked eggnog, spiked hot chocolate, and spiked coffee. Maggie made amazing food, Wentworth pretending he helped, and Maggie laughing and exposing him for only licking the spoons or tickling her.

Richie and Eddie had Christmas at the Tozier’s and Thanksgiving at the Denbrough’s. New Years was for their entire friend group to spend together, always switching up who would host each year.

Richie, Stan, and Ben had graduated college already, so when Richie got himself an apartment, Eddie moved in with him. Bill moved in with Stan who got an apartment in the same building and on the same floor as Richie’s. Ben had found a condo nearby that he nervously asked Bev to move in with him, she of course said yes. Mike and Vic were also asked if they wanted the other room in the condo, splitting the rent would help them all out.

  
  


Eddie stood in Richie’s bathroom, fixing his hair and making sure his outfit looked right. He was nervous, holidays centering around food still made him uneasy, but Richie was always there to help him through it. Eddie had finished the program he had enrolled in and even gained some weight. Richie always told him how amazing he looked, how proud of him he was, and held him on the nights he would relapse. Eddie was now two years clean from cutting, It was the longest he had gone and he was incredibly proud of himself.

Eddie wore a red and black oversized black sweater and black skinny jeans, his new outfit he bought to wear on Christmas Day. Richie had almost started drooling when Eddie had tried on the sweater, he was still getting used to not being able to see his ribs, but getting tattoos over his ribs helped to not focus on it.

Richie came up behind Eddie and wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and gave a loving squeeze. Smiling into the mirror as Eddie made eye contact with him, he then pressed a gentle kiss on Eddie’s cheek.

Richie looked amazing as always, he dressed up a bit for the day, wearing a black button-up shirt with a red tie, and black skinny jeans that weren’t ripped. He had straightened his hair to tame the wild curls, Maggie always took so many photos and he wanted to look nice for them.

“Eddie my love, you look gorgeous. If we weren’t about to go down for dinner, I’d be throwing you on my bed and going down on you,” Richie said seductively.

“Richie! Oh my god, don’t give me a boner right before we go downstairs!” Eddie whined.

Richie chuckled and turned Eddie around to face him, he then lifted the smaller boy onto the counter, still with ease, he was still very light, and then stood in between Eddie’s legs. He placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek, Eddie leaned into the touch and sighed in content.

“Seriously babe, you look amazing. You have come so far and I’m so proud of you.”

Eddie teared up and sniffled, he wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck and his warm breath tickled where he had shoved his face into the crook of Richie’s neck. Richie’s finger’s found their way into Eddie’s hair, gently stroking. Moments like this were common but still just as special as the first time.

“Thank you,” Eddie whispered.

  
  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


Later that night, after everyone was stuffed with Christmas dinner, the entire family sat around the living room, Maggie and Wentworth sat on the couch, Riley sat on the floor with her back to the couch, and Richie and Eddie sat on the loveseat, cuddled up to each other.

Christmas music was playing softly in the background, a fire crackled in the fireplace, and everyone sipped on their warm drinks, feeling cozy and content. The moment felt perfect, like the ending to a sweet Christmas movie. Outside the snow came down, beautiful in its sparkly white glory.

Richie however, was nervous, he was about to give Eddie his Christmas present, he had been putting it off, worried Eddie wouldn’t like it. Getting the perfect gift was always something important to Richie, even as a kid. The box was in Eddie’s stocking, all Richie had to do was tell him he could open it now, taking a deep breath and sitting up, he turned to look at his boyfriend.

“Eddie my love, would you like to open your christmas present now?”

Eddie nodded, a huge smile on his face, it was adorable and Richie could feel himself melting. His chest felt warm, his heart about to burst with how much he truly loved this boy.

“It’s in your stocking,” Richie said.

Eddie stood up and walked over to the fireplace, sticking his hand in the stocking Maggie had made for him. Eddie had received the stocking the first time he spent Christmas with Richie, Maggie had already considered him a part of her family and everyone in their family had a stocking.

Eddie pulled out a small white box and opened it to find… nothing. The box was empty, and Eddie felt confused. There was no note inside, just an empty box. Maybe it was a gag gift, Richie did like to joke around, but this didn’t seem like something he would do.

“It’s empty Ri-” Eddie started to say as he turned around.

  
  


What Eddie did not expect to see was Richie, down on one knee, holding a silver ring in his hand, his eyes twinkled and he smiled brightly. It was as if time had stopped, Eddie gasped and he felt himself starting to tear up.

“Eddie baby, you are the love of my life and my favorite person in the world. I want to spend forever with you and grow old together. You make me the happiest person alive and you complete me. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. Eddie Denbrough, will you marry me?” Richie asked, his cheeks warm and red.

“Yes!” Eddie said as he dived down to kiss Richie, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck.

Maggie, Wentworth, and Riley cheered and laughed happily. None of them knew Richie was going to propose, it surprised them but they were thrilled. They loved Eddie, he was family.

Richie broke the kiss to slip the ring on Eddie’s finger, that’s when Eddie noticed that there were words engraved around the ring. He spun the ring around to read the words  _ Eddie my love, I love you so.  _ Eddie smiled and leaned back in to kiss Richie again, Richie was smiling into the kiss which made it a bit sloppy but neither minded.

“Want to go to my room?” Richie whispered.

Eddie nodded, so off they went, to be alone and bask in their happiness. The moment the door was shut, Richie picked Eddie up, held him by his thighs and then tossed him on the bed. Eddie giggled as he was being manhandled, he loved it, it made him feel wanted.

Eddie had made quite the progress in his sexual activity. He felt comfortable doing almost everything with Richie, he still couldn’t be fucked from behind, but Richie didn’t mind. Eddie had come a long way from when they first met, Eddie was living his life guilt-free and he was happy.

Richie was on top of Eddie in seconds and his lips crashed against Eddie’s. The sweet sound the left Eddie’s mouth was the cutest thing Richie had ever heard, his hands roamed Eddie’s body, his lips kissed everywhere he could reach, Eddie was melting into a puddle as every touch sent shockwaves throughout his body.

“Richie, I love you.”

“I love you too baby,” Richie whispered.

Eddie took his sweater off to Richie’s delight, then unbuttoned Richie’s shirt, he wanted to feel his skin on his, he wanted Richie’s warmth to cover him. Richie managed to get his tie off with one hand and while kissing and biting all over Eddie’s chest. The sweet moans from Eddie were going straight to his dick and he wanted Eddie, now.

“Fuck, Rich.”

Richie smirked as he started to undo Eddie’s jeans, then he undid his own, and once both of their pants were gone, Richie began to grind down on Eddie, those perfect legs wrapped around Richie’s waist holding him as close as possible really did it for him.

“Richie,  _ please _ ,” Eddie begged.

“Shit Eds, you sound so hot when you beg.”

That elicited a whine from Eddie and the rub of their clothed erections sent hot sparks to Eddie’s lower abdomen. Richie’s tongue licked up Eddie’s neck, his hand slowly making its way to Eddie’s crotch. His hand disappeared under Eddie’s underwear and then he felt one finger touch his hole and began to rub softly.

Eddie moaned and wondered when Richie had even gotten lube, the cold lubricant made Eddie shutter. Slowly Richie made his way in, he went slow as always, only one finger until Eddie gave him the go for another. Within a few minutes Eddie was begging for another finger, Richie of course obliged.

“Fuck!” Eddie hissed as Richie hit his prostate.

Eddie arched his back and put his fingers in Richie’s hair to tug. Richie loved when Eddie pulled his hair, he never failed to moan. That earned Eddie another finger, and there was a slight sting but it felt  _ good. _

“Richie, please, I’m ready, I want you, please!”

  
  


Eddie whimpered when he felt the loss of being filled when Richie pulled his fingers out. Underwear came off fast and thankfully Richie wasn’t being too much of a tease, he quickly slathered on lube and then lined the head of his cock to Eddie’s waiting hole. Richie slid in slowly, always careful, making sure to never cause Eddie pain unless he explicitly asked for it, which wasn’t too often.

Richie bottomed out and sat still, letting Eddie adjust to his dick, it was hard to not move, Eddie’s tight heat spasmed around him, Eddie pulled Richie closer to press his lips to Richie’s. They kissed languidly, just enjoying the feel of each other.

“I’m ready,” Eddie said breathlessly after a few minutes.

Richie slowly pulled out until only the head remained inside Eddie, then he pushed back in, not too fast, but he started to set up a good pace, Eddie moaned, blushing furiously, they found that Eddie usually blushed during sex and Richie found it cute, cute, cute!

“Aww babe, you’re blushing,” Richie cooed.

“Shut up.”

“But you look so fucking sexy when those cheeks turn red, almost as sexy as when your other cheeks are bright red,” Richie said with a smirk.

The moan that came from Eddie’s mouth made Richie blush, and he saw the amusement in Eddie’s eyes when he saw that Eddie knew what he was doing, that little shit knew what really sent chills down Richie’s back, the good sexy chills that made his hips jerk a little harder.

“Harder,” Eddie demanded.

Richie began to thrust harder and faster, his fiance, he could now call Eddie his fiance, wanted it rougher and fucking hell he was going to give it to Eddie rougher. Eddie’s body kept tensing up, he knew he wasn’t going to last as long, Richie’s cock was now hitting his prostate with every thrust.

“Rich, I’m gonna-”

Eddie felt his entire body spasm, a wave of pleasure coursed throughout his entire body, and he screamed Richie’s name. He thought he may have blacked out because the next thing he knew, he felt overstimulation causing his body to shutter. Richie was close, he could see it in his eyes.

“Come for me,” Eddie whispered seductively.

“Fuck!” Richie yelled as he came.

Richie’s hips stuttered as he rode out his orgasm, then he plopped down onto Eddie, dick still inside Eddie, and sighed happily. They laid there, basking in the afterglow, catching their breath, and then Richie pulled out his softening dick. Eddie felt cum start to slide out of him but he didn’t care, he could clean up later, all he wanted to do was cuddle.

“I love you, god I fucking love you,” Richie said, sounding in awe.

“I love you too Richie, forever and always.”

  
  
  


**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote. Please let me know how y'all feel about this ending, I really want to know your feelings, It's so surreal to finish a story and I really hope I gave y'all the ending y'all wanted and deserve. Thank you for reading, every single comment and kudos has kept me going.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be multiple chapters but I don't know how many yet. I'll try to update at least once a week.


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